Where this thread is in jest or not, muscle dysmorphia is a serious problem. It seems the bigger I get, the smaller I feel. Sometimes that scares me, because if I got myself from 155 lbs - 245 lbs in a little over 3 years, where am I gonna be in another 3 years? I remember when I first started lifting, I was so excited to hit 180. Then later 195. I started my first cycle a little over a year ago, thinking "only one". I figured 215 would be a good weight. I got up to 222. While I was growing, I felt invincible. Once my muscle growth slowed/stopped, I quickly became depressed again, and I felt just as small as I did before I started, even though I was 27 lbs heavier, I wanted to be bigger. I waited long enough before starting my second cycle, and I blew up to 236. I came off, and due to financial problems, I couldn't keep up my diet, so I dropped down to 224 and became VERY depressed. I started my third and current cycle, and blew up to 247. I was starting to feel good about myself, and I figured I'd start cutting off the last few pounds of fat, and I ended up losing a fair amount of muscle. So here I am now, just below 240, and I've already made plans to run my 4th cycle this June. I'm hoping to hit 255-260, and I PRAY that I'll be content with that. I still fear that it won't be enough. I'm truly afraid I'm gonna look in the mirror @ 260 and feel small.
The worst enemy of those of us who suffer this disorder is the scale. While I still thought I was 247, I looked almost the same, except I was leaner, but once I stepped on the scale and noticed my weight loss, I literally looked back in the mirror and felt like crap. It's amazing the tricks your mind can play on you...