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Thread: Looking for Help/Motivation gona try a weight loss log

  1. #1
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    Looking for Help/Motivation gona try a weight loss log

    Hey so im not gonna get into too much here but iv basically fell off.. i was a very healthy athletic kid i played 7 different sports and had training everyday and when i reached 17 i got a professional contract unfortunately i had a bad gambling problem and at the age of 18 my contract was dissolved due to some stupid things i was doing to fund my gambling problem long story short my name was on the News for something and they didn't like it. I was broken after that and didnt leave the house for ages only for training and school. Shortly after i began my second problem online games, MMO rpg to be exact(I know its stupid im not entirely sure how it happened). Anyway this was detrimental to my body. After 6 months of playing i quit all sport and dropped out of college and lost my job. I now only left the house for binge drinking on the weekends. Needless to say the sleepless nights(Sometimes being awake 3 days in a row) and diet consisting on high fat and carbs and all the alcohol has ruined me but il let my stats tell you what 4 years of bull has done to me

    Age:21
    Height:5 ft 9
    Weight:207 lbs
    BMI:31
    BF:25%
    LBM:155 lbs

    I wanna start bodybuilding for 3 reasons,

    1. Best way to fight addiction is with addiction, being addicted to a healthy lifestyle sounds good too me !
    2. I need discipline back in my life.
    3. Im blessed to be fully able human being i owe it to myself to be the best me i can possibly be.

    I have already read "Unofficial "How to Cut" thread and sample diet" and "Dieting 101: Cutting" because i have read other threads and cutting logs before i made this cuz i don't want to be asking questions i can easily get the answer too if i take initiative and do some reading. Im tryna avoid being annoying if at all possible haha

    So after some reading i want to add this,

    using 405's LBM formula my BMR is 155*15= 2325

    Im gonna start my Daily Nutritional Goals at 2000 Kcal with Macro's: 40% Protein(200g) 40% Carbs(200g) 20% Fats(44g) Note i would do low carb 50/30/20 but im kinda hoping i can workout and do cardio everyday unless you guys tell me otherwise that is.. Like i said i dropped out of college and im not unemployed aswell so i have nothing else too do

    I was thinking Cardio in the AM 7 days a week and Weights in the PM 6 days a week?

    any comments on what i have purposed so far would be greatly appreciated so i can get started making a workout routine and diet plan right away! im so excited and motivated right now i cant even explain!!

    Thanks in advance too anyone that takes the time to read and comment on this

    *EDIT* of course i will be putting up pictures to show where im currently at tomorow but for now its late and i don't remember where my digital camera is

    SHORT TERM GOAL: Weigh in @190 on 1/1/2013

    LONG TERM GOAL:Have a LBM of 175lbs on 1/1/2015
    Last edited by LiL P; 11-22-2012 at 04:36 PM.

  2. #2
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    So giving my macros are okay here is what iv come up with so far

    Meal 1: Wholemeal Brown bread-100% 3 slices
    2 Whole eggs 4 egg whites(Boiled)
    Psylium Husk 2 tbls

    Meal 2: Whey Protein 2 scoops
    Flavans Organic Jumbo Oats 50g

    Pre Workout: Roma Natural Brown Rice 70g
    Tuna Chunks in Brine(Drained) 130g
    Frozen Broccoli 1 cup

    Post Workout: Jacket Potatoe 150g+Olive Oil 1tbls
    Chicken Breast(Baked) 150g
    Frozen Broccoli 1cup
    Psylium Husk 2 tbls

    Meal 5: Optimum Nutrition - Gold Standard 100% Casein Protein Creamy Vanilla 32 g


    Almost Hits macros Bang on

    Anyone care to critique?

    All constructive criticism and knowledgeable input is greatly appreciated i haven't done any of this stuff since i was around 17 :s
    Last edited by LiL P; 11-18-2012 at 05:21 AM.

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    looks ok, i wouldn't change too much except for instead of the jacket potato (im assuming thats filled with cheese and bacon n other stuff??) maybe have some sweet potato instead, and instead of the casein shake, maybe some cottage cheese or a steak, its just my preference, id rather eat food than have powder + water...

    also i would probably change the wholemeal brown bread (btw brown bread is not always wholemeal...) for some oats.

    but if you want you could always just go with it and if you get the results you want, might as well stick with it..

    as for cardio and weights, fasted cardio works best, so as soon as you wake up, drink some water then go for a run, about an hour or so. then you can go home; shower and eat, and if you want about a couple hours later (even after meal 2) hit the weights, or you could leave it till later on in the PM, doesn't really matter as long as you eat before you go.

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    Hey lil p. You shouldnt need to do cardio if you've not factored it into your TDEE. Any calorie deficit will promote fat loss, cardio just helps speed up the progress. I think I've heard GBrice saying a couple of time you can hit 12% BF just with a deficit and weights, it just takes longer to achieve. Cardio 3 times a week is a good point to start, then if you get to a point where weightloss has stopped or slowed right down you can just add more cardio without changing your diet set up.

    Good work on researching before starting a log! Shows dedications and also that you're willing to listen! You should get plenty of help if you need it.

    For the food choices, may be better better dropping the bread and the jacket potatoe for a more complex carb, but just being picky.lol

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    Haha! I wasn't copying kronick there!! Just a case of he got in 1st

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    Thanks i try find as much info as i can by myself, i remember alot of this stuff from when i was younger i just need help with fine details and a second opinion on things never does any harm ! And yeah im very driven and motivated especially if people are watching me hence why i decided to do the log

    I only added the bread because its Fiber bread and im trying to get 40g of fiber a day.. at the risk of going into too much detail i have a cut on my ass im trying to heal as a result of not enough fiber it freaked me out i thought i had colon cancer or some shlt

    As for the jacket potatoes its not really a jacket potatoes so too speak its just potatoes with holes jabbed in it and thrown in the microwave no cheese or bacon just garlic powder and olive oil if its gonna be detrimental to my gains Potatoes could be changes for wholemeal pasta

    As for cardio and weight lifting its not really a problem, after i got contracted i got a full gym at home im missing lat pull-down machine tho i got assisted pull ups but its shlte feels like im doing my sets in fvcking space! Anyway i used to try not too lift at home cause i was never in the right frame of mind workout wer never as good i dont mind doing cardio at home tho. Cardio machines i have a treadmill, a bike and elliptical i also live basically on a beach and theres loads of hills i used to do hill sprints quiet alot(hill sprints in the sand was my conditioning secret weapon )

    I know the fact that i have a gym at home makes it even more pathetic that i pissed away all my gains but addiction+depression= Disaster!

    All input greatly appreciated ! Btw any advice on training type should i just stick with hypertrophy?

    LiL P

  7. #7
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    hi...yams or sweet potato is a better option for the white potatoe IMO.

    happy that you choose a healthy addiction and be mindful of over training. your zeal is contagious! luv that!!!

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    I wouldn't put too much thought into the type of training, higher rep (10-15) should yield positive results. After a long spell off your body will build muscle fairly easy for the 1st couple of months, but you don't want to go all out for gains because you need to let your body adjust to the stresses and strains of training again, and build up the little supportive muscles aswel.

    Target weightloss while maintaining your lbm (you will gain some muscle due to starting back training)and when you reach a point where your happy with your BF% change oiver to a bulking diet and really hit the training hard when you can heal/build muscle easier and faster.

    Just my 0.2

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    This is the part im not too knowledgeable about because i used to have trainers handing me sheets of paper with my routines on it and standing over me in the gym tracking progress i mean i know alot of different exercises i just don't know any of the science behind choosing rep ranges(if there even is any).. anyway here goes nothing..

    *EDIT* I forgot too add that i will be doing fasted Cardio first thing in the morning EVERYDAY besides my HIIT day. Dont know if i should do normal low intensity long duration or something else anyone have any ideas?

    Monday: CHEST AND TRI'S WORKOUT
    Flat Barbell Bench - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Incline Dumbbell bench - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Dumbbell Pull over - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Machine Pec Fly - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Cable Crossovers - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Tricep push down - 3 sets 10-15 reps


    Tuesday: BACK WORKOUT

    Over Hand pull-ups - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Dead Lifts - 3 sets 6-10 reps
    Under Hand Close Grip pull-ups - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Dumbell Rows - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Bent Over Row - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Seated Row - 3 sets 10-15 reps


    Wednesday:SHOULDERS AND TRAPS
    Front Shoulder Press - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Side Laterals - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Front Laterals - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Rear Delt Flies - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Upright row - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Shrugs 3 sets 8-12 reps


    Thursday:ARM WORKOUT
    Barbell Curls - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Reverse curls 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Alternate Dumbbell curls - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Dips - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Skull Crushers - 2 sets 10-15 reps
    Tricep pushdown - 2 set 10-15 reps
    Wrist Curls 2 sets 10-15 reps


    Friday:LEG WORKOUT
    Squats - 3 sets 6-12 reps
    Lunges - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Jefferson Squat - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Hack Squat - 3 sets 8-12 reps
    Stiff Leg Deadlift - 3 sets 8-12 reps


    ABS AND HIIT
    Cable Crunch - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Leg Raises - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Crunches - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Dragon Flags - 3 sets 10-15 reps
    Alternate Plank and Side Bridge - 4 sets each 1 Min per set


    Sunday:REST DAY


    So there we have it any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated anyone taking the time out too read and comment on this thank you very much

    Hopefully if someone dosent point out something drastically wrong with this i can get started on my journey tomorow!! Cant Fooooooookin wait

    LiL P

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    First if all Lil P congratulations on getting your act together. Your attitude is brilliant for what you have been through.

    To be honest your diet and training schedule look very good good, I think you know more than you realise.

    I will keep an eye on your log good luck buddy!

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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    hi...yams or sweet potato is a better option for the white potatoe IMO.

    happy that you choose a healthy addiction and be mindful of over training. your zeal is contagious! luv that!!!
    Thanks for your input, You know what if my zeal really is contagious and i can inspire one "guest" to get back on track and sign up too the forums and start their own log like im doing, then this log wont be in vain il get my healthy lifestyle back along with helping another person do the same! after all forums is all about being a positive community that shares information and motivation!

    LiL P

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    Quote Originally Posted by digsy1983 View Post
    I wouldn't put too much thought into the type of training, higher rep (10-15) should yield positive results. After a long spell off your body will build muscle fairly easy for the 1st couple of months, but you don't want to go all out for gains because you need to let your body adjust to the stresses and strains of training again, and build up the little supportive muscles aswel.

    Target weightloss while maintaining your lbm (you will gain some muscle due to starting back training)and when you reach a point where your happy with your BF% change oiver to a bulking diet and really hit the training hard when you can heal/build muscle easier and faster.

    Just my 0.2
    Thanks man check out what i came up with if you get a chance and let me know what you think

    LiL P

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigsiv View Post
    First if all Lil P congratulations on getting your act together. Your attitude is brilliant for what you have been through.

    To be honest your diet and training schedule look very good good, I think you know more than you realise.

    I will keep an eye on your log good luck buddy!
    Thanks man! shame someone wasn't there to give my a kick up the hole sooner i guess realizing it by myself will make my success(when i succeed) all the sweeter.
    I was blessed really im like a sponge i read most things once and its with me for life im just aware that with bbing there no such thing as knowing it all a new study coming out almost everyday so im just jumping head first back into the healthy athletic life style i fell in love with at such a young age, appreciate you stopping by its gonna keep me motivated knowing people are watching.

    LiL P

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    Quote Originally Posted by LiL P

    Thanks man! shame someone wasn't there to give my a kick up the hole sooner i guess realizing it by myself will make my success(when i succeed) all the sweeter.
    I was blessed really im like a sponge i read most things once and its with me for life im just aware that with bbing there no such thing as knowing it all a new study coming out almost everyday so im just jumping head first back into the healthy athletic life style i fell in love with at such a young age, appreciate you stopping by its gonna keep me motivated knowing people are watching.

    LiL P
    Been there mate many many years ago I was a top boxer but messed it all up, I won't dwell cause I'm on the other side now. I believe going through the bad gives the experience needed to make the good.
    Looking forward to this thread !

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    Im just gonna list the supplements im gonna be using through-out this transformation, supplements arent a big deal for me im really just listing them incase i want too look back on it later also maybe others have info on something i might be able too add to the stack(I didnt specifically buy any of these supplements for this cut its just stuff i have so i might aswell use them)

    Whey Protein
    Casein Protein
    Meal replacement diet shake(Pro/Carb) High Fibre i try not too use this its just for emergency
    Creatine
    Pre Workout
    L-carnitine w/Green tea
    L-Arginine HCL(Not sure about taking this supplement i think its for bulking? Anyone know?)
    Green Tea
    Multi Vit
    Fish Oil

    Also gonna post pictures of myself later today(When someone wakes up to take them)

    LiL P
    Last edited by LiL P; 11-19-2012 at 03:43 AM.

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    The workouts don't need to be that big imo. Make sure you do the basic 3! ( bench press, squats and dead lifts) don't go mental with these, slow and steady is the key.

    For chest, back and legs I'd do no more than 4 exercises with 4 sets, 12-15 reps. Make sure you are.working the muscle in a different way for each exercise, and concentrate on form and full range of movement!

    Do a workout for shoulders and traps 2-3 exercises for these with then being a smaller muscle and give your arms a blast after shoulder/traps are done.

    No point targeting.abbs until bodyfat is sub 15%. They will be worked with squats and deads.

    Either do.fasted cardio in the morning (before breakfast) or after your workouts. You could do.both, but you don't want to sicken yourself! Consistency is the key for dropping BF.

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    Unfortunately i wont have access to a gym until next week, I hope anyway my gym stopped accepting installments for membership anymore and i don't have 500 Euro at the moment. Im not gonna lie its annoyed me but i plan on doing the diet anyway even if im not lifting weights...

    Il do weekly updates of my stats

    WEEK 1.

    Stats

    Age:21
    Height:5 ft 9
    Weight:207 lbs
    BMI:31
    BF:25%
    LBM:155 lbs

    Neck:16 inch
    Arms: Left 14 inch Right 15 inch
    Chest: 40.5
    Waist 41 inch
    Hips: 43 inch
    Quads:25 inch
    (All measurements are done relaxed)


    Click image for larger version. 

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    Dang these pics are nasty

  18. #18
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    Monday

    6:00am
    2 Eggs
    1 Egg White
    2 Wholemeal Toast

    9:00am
    3 Egg Whites
    1 Wholemeal Toast

    11:00am
    Whey Protein
    Oats

    2:30pm
    Tuna
    Rice
    Broccoli

    5:30pm
    Chicken Breast
    Potatoe
    Olive Oil

    8:00pm
    Casein Protein

    Drank 1 Gallon of water through-out the day


    No Weights/Cardio

    Found it really hard to finish my Solid meals today(Due to the carbs) if this continues i might try break them up into small meals and eat more frequently.

    Can i get someones opinion on Rice Cakes(plain of course) as a Carb source?
    Last edited by LiL P; 11-19-2012 at 03:07 PM.

  19. #19
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    Love reading your enthusiasm LP! That is contagious! Kudos to you for jumping right in and taking off so so fast. You are a great addition here.
    Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
    Author Unknown

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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    Love reading your enthusiasm LP! That is contagious! Kudos to you for jumping right in and taking off so so fast. You are a great addition here.
    Hey thanks so much for the kind words it really really helps me since family and friends are reacting so negatively to my new found diet, I wish they would just realize its something i NEED too do for me! i guess they just got too comfortable with having a lazy fat version of me.. idk I hope they might change their attitudes when i start seeing some results

    As for jumping right in iv never been one of those "there's always tomorrow" kinda people and i always give everything 100%!(Hence my previous problems with addiction -.-) I still got that athlete mentality in me, there's just a bit too much fat on me right now for it to shine through physically haha

    LiL P

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    rice cakes are fine, i used them for a while but i had peanut butter on them! eating them plain gets old really fast!

    how did you srtuggle with carbs? just the amount of food to eat?

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    Quote Originally Posted by digsy1983 View Post
    how did you srtuggle with carbs? just the amount of food to eat?
    Yeah man my appetite is really bad, all the weight o put on didn't come from eating in excess it came from bad sleeping pattern, sitting at a computer 24/7 it came and ofc when i did eat it was high fat foods something quick so it didn't disrupt my precious time at the computer slaying dragons or saving the universe what ever shlt i was into back then. To help myself eat i have too do weird things like set time goals for me to finish a meal and use other mental tricks(i guess you could call them)

    LiL P

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    i hit a weightloss plateau i was eating apx 1600 cals. i decided to join this forum after floating about for a while and i asked for help. i was shocked that the advice was to eat more cals to lose weight. took me about a week to get the hang of eating more!

    your body will soon change to your new eating habbits! just stick with it. eating clean takes alot of dedication at the start then soon becomes second nature.

    swap your white potato for sweet potato, miles more enjoyable to eat!!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by digsy1983 View Post
    i hit a weightloss plateau i was eating apx 1600 cals. i decided to join this forum after floating about for a while and i asked for help. i was shocked that the advice was to eat more cals to lose weight. took me about a week to get the hang of eating more!

    your body will soon change to your new eating habbits! just stick with it. eating clean takes alot of dedication at the start then soon becomes second nature.

    swap your white potato for sweet potato, miles more enjoyable to eat!!
    Yeah man i hear ya i know i just gotta stick it out at the beginning and i will eventually get used to it.

    Eh i think sweet potato taste horrible much prefer white potato.. after all im Irish another thing is i think cottage cheese tastes like licking ash trays, they are the two BBing food staples that i hate! Buuut IF swapping my white potato for a sweet potato will make significant difference in my gains or in my case losses i could soldier through it

    LiL P

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    LIL p good luck man! as long as u stick with it u will not need luck

    as far as ur diet what was said about the bread i agree with and would change. at this point anything u do is gonna get results and from my experience ur better off starting out at 40/40/20 plus lifting and cardio and then down the road when ur progress stalls u will have a lot of room to make changes.

    ive been down the exact road u have ahead of u and can guide u in what u need to do. stick with this log! u will be in the minority if u do..

    the only thing id do right now is prob switch up to 4/5 day split on weights and reduce cardio to 6 days per week.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LiL P View Post
    Yeah man i hear ya i know i just gotta stick it out at the beginning and i will eventually get used to it.

    Eh i think sweet potato taste horrible much prefer white potato.. after all im Irish another thing is i think cottage cheese tastes like licking ash trays, they are the two BBing food staples that i hate! Buuut IF swapping my white potato for a sweet potato will make significant difference in my gains or in my case losses i could soldier through it

    LiL P
    not significant gains really, i was speaking more about more about my personal taste. at this point concentrate on sticking to your macros and also cardio. youll find after a couple of weeks youll be in a pattern/rythm with it all. its alot of information and setting up at the start but you soon become accustomed to it.

    if you cant get to the gym, look to do body weight exercises just to get your body used to puching and pulling again.

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    glad to see you are getting your act together!

    looks like these guys/gals have you straightened out!

    consistency and discipline are the keys to this!

    good luck!

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    Hey thanks for the advice man

    im on a 40/40/20 for the moment will reduce carbs according to weightloss

    As for the cardio in my first couple of posts i was really in a rush too lose BF and i think i planned too do too much cardio, now im thinking maybe fasted cardio 3 times a week 400kcal per session for the first month or untill i stop losing 2-3lbs a week and then increase when i feel the need, do you think this would be a good idea?


    My long term goal is a single digit BF% since i only ever made it too 10% but right now im trying to get down too 190 lbs by Jan 1st 2013


    Quote Originally Posted by --->>405<<--- View Post
    as far as ur diet what was said about the bread i agree with and would change
    Alright im gonna take the bread out starting tomorrow then alot of people have said this.. whats the reason for it?

    LiL P

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    Quote Originally Posted by digsy1983 View Post
    if you cant get to the gym, look to do body weight exercises just to get your body used to puching and pulling again.
    Good idea bruh! im selling my iphone Thursday so i can pay for the gym membership, each day that passes me i know its a day i coulda been closer too my goal

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by 00ragincajun00 View Post
    glad to see you are getting your act together!

    looks like these guys/gals have you straightened out!

    consistency and discipline are the keys to this!

    good luck!
    Thanks for the kind words im getting lots of input on here its greatly appreciated!

  31. #31
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    Tuesday

    1:00 pm
    4 Boiled egg whites
    1 Wholegrain Toast

    2:00 pm
    2 Whole Eggs
    2 Wholegrain Toast

    5:00pm
    Chicken Breast
    Potato
    Olive Oil

    7:00 pm
    Oats
    Whey Protein

    10:30
    Casein Protein

    1 Gallon of water through-out the day

    Woke up this morning @ 7 felt terrible and had stomach cramps didn't feel like eating at all.. came around @ 1 and got all my meals in there after.

    Gonna take toast out of diet tomorrow and replace it with oats and water also need too buy more spinach and broccoli noticed mine was bad today when i went too take it out of the fridge

    Still no Cardio/Weights(should have gym membership soon tryna sell my iPhone so i have the $) Will do body weight workout tomorrow

  32. #32
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    Do you like pancakes?
    Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    Do you like pancakes?
    Yup pancakes are good

  34. #34
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    Bread isn't a popular choice because it's processed and also it's energy release is alot faster than things like oats and rice. It's.not going to give you negative results if you eat it, but later on down the line it's something that would probably need changed when BF% drops and your into some.serious training.

    Selling you phone!!?? Dedication man!!

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by digsy1983 View Post
    Bread isn't a popular choice because it's processed and also it's energy release is alot faster than things like oats and rice. It's.not going to give you negative results if you eat it, but later on down the line it's something that would probably need changed when BF% drops and your into some.serious training.
    Ah ok thanks for the info just wanted too know incase anyone asked me for advice in the future

    [QUOTE=Selling you phone!!?? Dedication man![/QUOTE]

    Yeah man i dont see any other way of me being able to splash out 500 euro on a gym membership so close to xmas.. i just keep reminding myself its a worthwhile investment I can always buy another phone after xmas
    Last edited by LiL P; 11-21-2012 at 10:11 AM.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by LiL P View Post
    Yup pancakes are good
    Do you have a good recipe? I have the best one around here. Just ask if you want it.
    Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
    Author Unknown

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    Do you have a good recipe? I have the best one around here. Just ask if you want it.
    Sure a new recipe would be great ! Variety is the spice of life

  38. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    152
    Wednesday

    2:00 pm
    Omelette w/Chicken

    4:00 pm
    Whey and oats

    6:30 pm
    Chicken
    Wholewheat pasta

    9:00 pm
    Pork Tenderloin
    Wholewheat pasta

    11:00 pm
    ON Casein Protein

    3/4 Gallon of water

    Felt shitty again this morning dunno what it is im gonna put it down to the flu or some kinda virus, still got my meals in tho so alls good

  39. #39
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    North east England
    Posts
    1,625
    Keep going Lil P good attitude. Like the dedication of selling your phone for the gym. Good you got your priorities in order keep it up!

  40. #40
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    152
    Quote Originally Posted by bigsiv View Post
    Keep going Lil P good attitude. Like the dedication of selling your phone for the gym. Good you got your priorities in order keep it up!
    Thnx bruh this log right here is keeping me motivated, I set a short term goal with myself(which i just noticed i didn't put on this log yet-.-)too weigh in @ 190Lbs on the 1st of January 2013. I set this goal cuz I think it is realistic but still a challenge at the same time, I really dont want too start 2013 failing my short term goal and i realize that to lose the 3lbs a week without putting my LBM at risk im gonna need my gym membership that's my reason for selling the phone just incase anyone thought i was being a douche and taking this too seriously :P

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