Impulsive food addict log of Shame & Strife

[hubbayumm]

I'm starting this daily log (as suggested by some brothers on here) to help me get my mind right, be accountable and hopefully help some others that may identify with my struggles. I will be honest with you and most of all myself. Some of the shit you will be witness too is off the wall out of control and will make you shake your head. I welcome all criticism and comments no matter how derogatory. I'm not here to be coddled, it won't help me.

Too be continued.........

[Sfla80]

Interesting. ..subbed

[hubbayumm]

8:45- 1 serving BCAA, 1 tbl spoon L-carnitine, 1500mg Glucosamine with 1500mg MSM, fish oil, 45 min of fasted cardio
(bike 500 cals)

10:15- Shake (tbl spoon smart balance PB and small banana) carb 23, pro 40, fat 8, cal 350


11:00- 14oz egg whites with hot sauce and spinich leaves with 1/4 cup cheese, carb 32, pro 45, fat 8, cal 360
1 packet quacker oats

2:00- 6oz turkey/chicken breast, 6oz sweet potato, cup 1/2 of mix vegi.
calorie free wing sauce, parm cheese carb 35, pro 36, fat 6, cal 400

4:30ish Shake (tbl spoon smart balance PB and small banana) 1 tbl spoon L-carnitine,
Pre-workout carb 23, pro 40, fat 8, cal 350

6:00ish I Train hard, 2 bdy part, 4 day split

8:00ish Post shake (tbl spoon PB2) no PB or banana, pro 40 , fat 2, cal 170
vita D3, fish oil, 1 serving BCAA, 1500mg Glucosamine with 1500mg MSM,
5mg Creatine, Zinc, Pro-biotic, Mens Muti-vitamine.

9:00ish Turkey patty, bell pepper, jalepenos, romano chesse pro 40, fat 2, cal 200


TOTALS: carb 113, pro 201, fat 35, cals 1830

Trained hams, quads & glutes

The evenings are my enemy. I'm addicted to (over)eating bedside to get to sleep. It's a total mind fuck. I feel strong willed before the wife goes to sleep but when I am laying in bed trying to fall asleep myself is when I start talking myself into eating. She is very fit (also my training partner) but has remarkable control over her cravings. I will purposely wait for her to sleep so I can cheat in peace (she will give me shit & I love her for it) I try and tell myself that I will be waking happy and feel tighter & lighter if I can just hold off but a switch goes off at some point and I just fold. I then wake pissed off, let down and know that I should fast for the day or let it go eat clean and try again. The cycle has been repeating itself for years.

[hubbayumm]

Kids have friends over tonight, asked me to take them to Jack-n-Box. couple left over tacos, I took bite of one but spit it out in sink, not worth it.
I had 1 cup of shelled peanuts while waiting for natural Turkey patty to cook. Been a while since I checked macros on peanuts, fuck me! 27g fat 14 gm protein. I need to not have those in house.

This is what I am working with


Turkey patty (costco) 0.8oz pepperjack chesse, 1/4 tomato, jalapenos, roasted red bell peppers and 12 0z diet A&W rootbeer

I took two flexeril, hoping I fall asleep soon.

I reminded wife to lock up tonight, yes that is the fridge and pantry. Sad but true, extreme measures I have to take. (I have removed hinge pins middle of night once to get in pantry, fucking pathetic) Food is still in cabinets but this has been helping.

Hope you all are having a great Friday.

Night....................

[RaginCajun]

Maybe you should eat closer to bed time so you won't have these urges.

I do intermittent fasting most of the time (fast for 16 hours and eat for 8, leangains) and having that bigger meal before bed helps me feel full and not want to eat. I usually eat all my macros in 2 to 3 meals and have that last meal a little on the heavier side.

Just wanted to throw some options at you to try to help those cravings. When I eat 6-8 meals a day, I'm always hungry. When I eat bigger meals, 2-4 a day, I feel satiated longer.

[RaginCajun]

And your wife is mean for locking you out of the fridge, spank her ass!

[SlimmerMe]

Award winning photos.

[hubbayumm]

Award winning photos.

Professionally displayed sideways...

[hubbayumm]

Maybe you should eat closer to bed time so you won't have these urges.

I do intermittent fasting most of the time (fast for 16 hours and eat for 8, leangains) and having that bigger meal before bed helps me feel full and not want to eat. I usually eat all my macros in 2 to 3 meals and have that last meal a little on the heavier side.

Just wanted to throw some options at you to try to help those cravings. When I eat 6-8 meals a day, I'm always hungry. When I eat bigger meals, 2-4 a day, I feel satiated longer.

Good tips here, thanks. Regular ass smacks on her are part of my routine.

[hubbayumm]

9 AM SAturday:
It was a good night, got up only 3 times to piss and did not cheat.
Weight 211.6 lbs Lowest I have been since last August before motorcycle wreck. I feel tighter and can see my legs and forearms getting more vascular along with delts and color bone showing a bit more definition. Feels good. My mind is in a good place.
I will be posting pics of my self soon, got to make some time this weekend.

!0 AM
Hit the gym with wife and did fasting cardio on bike for 50 min, stood to pedal hardest setting(like going uphill) in intervals to keep HR up. Says 500 burned, lets go with 400.

11:30 2 scoops whey, 1 banana, tbs peanut butter aand 2 fish oils Pro-50 Carb 30 fat 8 cals under 450

12:30 Not feeling egg whites and oats today.
Craving good bread, 2 slice Famous Dave's Bread, dijon mustard, non fat mayo, spinch leaves, spicy pickle chips, cucumber, tomato, 4 oz. Healthy Ones Roastbeef, 8 oz. Natural pepper turkey with a side of peperoncinis. 1 scoop BCAA
I'm eating half now and half in 3-4 hours. Pro 70 Carb 45 fat 15

Sorry for upside down pics, I tried reloading after rotating but it still loaded down. figure this out as I go

[hubbayumm]

10:30 Trained Chest/tri tonight, we had gym to ourselves and was even a little too slow.

Post shake no PB2, 1/3 cup of raw oats, pro 50 fat 2, carb under 30 cal 280
vita D3, fish oil, 1 serving BCAA, 1500mg Glucosamine with 1500mg MSM,
5mg Creatine, Zinc, Pro-biotic, Mens Muti-vitamine.

Approx 1400 cals or under for the day. I plan on eating more but trying to keep it light in case I go overboard. Got to get this belly fat down. Another 15 pounds and I'll fit in my clothes.

[hubbayumm]

Sunday:
It was a successful night, last meal was a left over Jack n Box taco and one of my boys spicy chicken sandwhich (I wiped mayo off and only ate the meat and tomato) and about 5-6 bites of lowfat cottage cheese. say 1cup or less.
I;m thinking I was still under 2000 for the day. I did come up short on protein though. Took two flexeril for sleep. got about 6 hrs.

Hit the gym for fasted cardio once the wife got going, done by 11:00

50 min on bike, over 400 burned

Weight today a new low of 210.6. I am dehydrated but feeling good. I'll hydrate all day to prep for back/bis tonight.

Post shake, PB2, 1 banana, 2 scoops whey. Going to put off a meal for a few hours so I can take wife to lunch.

[hubbayumm]

Monday:
I fucked up Sunday afternoon and unto the evening. Had sushi with wife for 2nd time (we are not a fan ) and still well under 2009 for the day. Ran some errands and we both were hungry as hell by 5 so we tried this bbq place out to go. Rib, tritip, chicken and small amount of mac. She ate within her macros, she fasted for most of the day as I did. Well, I put way too much down and felt way too full plus I was not feeling up for training, sore and tired. 5 min after eating I went and purposely puked the entire meal. Brushed teeth, drank 20oz
Water and took a nap.
Woke up tired still and body sore, training not
Going to happen.
Need a day to rest.
Hour later made some nachos (cheese chips) diet orange crush. Fridge was left unlocked, sure enough after she falls asleep I make my way to kitchen and make a ham sandwich (yes mayo) as a get me by while I wait for about 12 meatballs to cook with marinara sauce. I couldn't finish it and I had to go through all that up I felt so sick plus not worth having the calories in me. Drink a big ass glass of water brush my teeth went to bed.

Today I pack food light for the day couple protein shakes very low carbs in egg whites going to go light all day but still get my protein in. Back on track

[hubbayumm]

Tuesday:
Weight-213
Hungry as hell, 1 slice daves bread with table spoon peanut butter 10 pro 35 carb 5 fat 200 cals
Am cardio bike 40 min
meal 1 egg whtes, cheese, salsa , oats , brown sugar, 25 pro o carb 35 fat 5 235 cals
Meal 2 egg whtes, cheese, salsa 25 pro o carb 5 fat 175 cals
Fiber bar pro 5 carb 35 fat 3 140 cals
! can chubk chicken, 1 slice daves bread, 3 tablespoons fat free mayo pro 55 5 fat 35 carb 530 cals
Trained Shoulders
Post shake, 2 scoops whey, tbl spoon pb2 pro 55 fat 0 carb 2 cals 275

vita D3, fish oil, 1 serving BCAA, 1500mg Glucosamine with 1500mg MSM,
5mg Creatine, Zinc, Pro-biotic, Mens Muti-vitamine.

1 shot 5 cc test cypionate
1 cup shelled peanuts pro 14 fat 6 carb 6 cals 300
1 turkey patty, 2 oz cheese pro 40 fat 5 carb 0 cals 250
16 oz diet squirt cals 0 1 serving BCAA

total pro 230 carb 150 fat 65 cals 2,150

No chance of cheating, lifts have been going up even though so low on cals. Fridge is going to be chained close just in case I wake in a stupor.
I'm stressed out with a calculus final exam tomorrow. Normally I would comfort eat in the past.



Hope all of you are doing well

[hubbayumm]

Saturday AM
Everything is going as it should, I continues to keep cals around 2000, carbs under 200, protein over 200 and moderate fats. morning fasting cardio, and high volume training in the pm. 2-3 lbs as expected a week I continue to loose. I expect to plateau soon, I'll make adjustments at that time. Cuts are starting to show, I'm motivated. I'll post weight when In get off this fucking bike.

To the OP Keep it up fat fuck!

[RaginCajun]

Get after it!

[hubbayumm]

Sunday: AM fasting cardio, 50 min bike and 12 min skip rope. 206 lbs (Definitely water weight)
Sunday: Intake normal, around 2000 cals.
Feeling tired, no training this eve

[hubbayumm]

Monday: AM cardio, fasted until afternoon. 650 1st meal, 2 shakes, 2nd meal 650. Went to bed, 2 hrs later still wide awake, (fridge unsecured) broke down and killed remaining qt of Butter Pecan IceCream (1400 cals) and a hostess lemon pie. Over limit by at least 2000 cals. wanted to go puke that garbage up but did not have it in me to do it. Slept like a rock belly full.

Tuesday: Woke up, tired as hell and thinking of spending lunch pizza buffet. (I think the sugar from pie and ice cream made me lethargic and the giving in to overeating made me wake craving pigging out. Kind of resembles a drug addict, wants more and chasing that last hit you know.)

I did usual AM cardio, and told myself I need to fast most of the day bc the excess cals from night before. I trained legs tonight on under 40 carbs and under 600 cals. Got through it fine. 6 sets squat, 3 sets lunges, 4 sets leg extensions, 5 sets stiff leg dead lift, 5 sets lying leg curls. Post shake, and looking forward to a low carb 1000 cal last meal. I likely should go half that but fuck it. PM weight 213.2 lbs, up 7 lbs in 36 hrs. likely bloat.

[RaginCajun]

If you are already fasting and don't mind it, look into intermittent fasting. Since you have trouble before bed, move your 8 hour feeding window closer to your bedtime. This will help your current problem out as you are going to bed hungry.

[hubbayumm]

A couple of you have suggested intermittent fasting. You're right, it works well. My schedule is going to change here in the next week so I'm going to have to make proper adjustments..

One of you mentioned that eating bigger meals but less frequently works for you. I'm trending that lately. I like to feel full over having basically snacks. Thanks

[RaginCajun]

A couple of you have suggested intermittent fasting. You're right, it works well. My schedule is going to change here in the next week so I'm going to have to make proper adjustments.. One of you mentioned that eating bigger meals but less frequently works for you. I'm trending that lately. I like to feel full over having basically snacks. Thanks

Fasting is not for everyone but you have to find what works for you. Look up lean gains dot com, that is the protocol I use. There are different ways to approach it, do some googling. I follow Brandon carter on YouTube and he talks about both the good and the bad of dieting. Check it out, it's worth a look

[hubbayumm]

Sunday: I'm majorly derailed for 3 days straight. Not going to sit here and give excuses, I just fucked up. I took a day off from gym and it turned into a 3 day bender of eating what I wanted and no training. My joints are thanking me but that's about it.

I was 207.8 on Thursday, and today I'm 220 even.

I had last week off of work/school and wife is out of gym for the next month due to a medical procedure. I'm lucky it was only a 3 day honestly. I need to be strong for the both of us, she has already put a couple lbs on and it bothers her tremendously. Plus she is going though gym withdrawls.


I feel stronger than I have in 6 months, body is loving the carb load no doubt lol. My bloat has pushed me out of my XL shirts into XXL. Sucks

Today I will fast until 3 hours before I train tonight and I'll end the day with 1000 cals and 0 carbs.
Tomorrow I will be back on 1800

for the day with carbs around
120. Thinking it will take a week and I'll be back where I was. (I hope)!
I need to get pics up here to help track progress and recession.

Be back later

[hubbayumm]

Checking in
Sunday: Well, exactly a week later I'm back down to 1lb less than a week ago. The bender was so not worth it.

I'm 10 lbs away from wearing all my good clothes where I look strong and fit. THe belly fat is going to be a bitch.

I think I need to cut down to 175 to love the way I look. I'm conflicted on when to do this winn/test cycle.

Pics coming soon so I can get some oppinions.

[RaginCajun]

Keep on keeping on!!!!!

[hubbayumm]

Friday: What a shitty week! Stressed out from overload at school, kids and not being able to do cardio in AM for the last 2 weeks due to schedule. To make matters worse wife's parents visiting and they buy a bunch of shit food for house. No excuse but I got caught up a few days. This AM 218lb and this evening (fasted on 700 cals 120 pro, 40 carb, 30 or less fat.) trained shoulders tonight and had post shake, no dinner tonight for me. I have to make some ground next 2-3 days so its going to be a little rough being so cal low but I deserve the pain. By Sunday I should be under 210.

I'm disappointed in the progress this last 3 weeeks, it was a give and take the whole time so I really am right where I was 3 weeks ago.

I dropped my summer class, so AM cardio is back on full swing tomorrow. Stress will be low, next 8 weeks is all about hanging with kids and getting leaner than I have been in 20 years. I need to post some questions on when to do this winn/test cycle. I really want to use the cycle to get down to say 12 % and enjoy the end of summer being at that BF% I really do not want to get down to 15% and than do it bc that will close out summer with me being fatter than I want.

I'll be back later.

[hubbayumm]

,,,.

[SlimmerMe]

.... so AM cardio is back on full swing tomorrow.....

sounds good to me

[hubbayumm]

Tuesday: 209 lbs

Fasted am cardio, 40 min bike, 15 min steps, 15 min core and skip rope.
post shake 50 g pro 0 carb 10 fat 250 cals , 1/2 tbsp PB

2pm 1 pint egg whites, 2 oz pepper jack cheese, salsa. 1/2 cup oats
55 g pro, 20 g fat, 38 g carb. Full and it feels good

[RaginCajun]

Tuesday: 209 lbs Fasted am cardio, 40 min bike, 15 min steps, 15 min core and skip rope. post shake 50 g pro 0 carb 0 fat 250 cals 2pm 1 pint egg whites, 2 oz pepper jack cheese, salsa. 1/2 cup oats 55 g pro, 20 g fat, 38 g carb. Full and it feels good

In your first meal, the cals are wrong, it's only 200 if you are getting 50g of protein. 1g protein = 4 cals

[hubbayumm]

In your first meal, the cals are wrong, it's only 200 if you are getting 50g of protein. 1g protein = 4 cals

Thanks, nice atten to detail! Edited, I missed the PB. In the the end scheme of things I may be off 100 cals and a handful of grams here and there. After 20 years of cutting and gaining exp. I know my body and have learned that splitting cunt hairs is not worth the time. If someone thinks their being hindered by 100 cals or 10 grams of carbs or pro, their doing it all wrong. lol

[hubbayumm]

Tues 5pm
2 pollock patties, 1 cup broccoli ( I don't count greens) About 40 g pro, 20 g fat 320 cals, 0 carb, plum, 76 cals 20 carb, 1 packet oats, 160 cals, 36 carb.

Had under 4 hrs sleep for the night, going to try and nap for an hour before I train Back/Bi's.

[RaginCajun]

Thanks, nice atten to detail! Edited, I missed the PB. In the the end scheme of things I may be off 100 cals and a handful of grams here and there. After 20 years of cutting and gaining exp. I know my body and have learned that splitting cunt hairs is not worth the time. If someone thinks their being hindered by 100 cals or 10 grams of carbs or pro, their doing it all wrong. lol

Ah, I see

Splitting cunt hairs is really tough and I agree, not worth the time! Haha!

[hubbayumm]

Can some people chime in on this for me?

Some have suggested before to wait to until a hint of abs is shown before I increase my test and start winstrol .

What if I wanted to do the cycle to get me to the point of seeing abs instead and stop my cut at that point?

I'm really not wanting to be shredded this year. I would be happy to catch the tail end of summer at 15% bf and spend the next 6 months bulking with minimal fat gain to go on a cut again leading into next summer with goals of getting under 15% bf on that round. From what I have read the winn with proper nutrition will speed up my resluts but I am conflicted with all the info I see and hear.

Kinda lost on nutrition when on the cycle too, do I increase calories or should they remain the same as I have been doing and seeing results.

[RaginCajun]

Can some people chime in on this for me? Some have suggested before to wait to until a hint of abs is shown before I increase my test and start winstrol. What if I wanted to do the cycle to get me to the point of seeing abs instead and stop my cut at that point? I'm really not wanting to be shredded this year. I would be happy to catch the tail end of summer at 15% bf and spend the next 6 months bulking with minimal fat gain to go on a cut again leading into next summer with goals of getting under 15% bf on that round. From what I have read the winn with proper nutrition will speed up my resluts but I am conflicted with all the info I see and hear. Kinda lost on nutrition when on the cycle too, do I increase calories or should they remain the same as I have been doing and seeing results.

That's your call

Some will say go ahead, others will say wait.

Here is a question for you, why do you want to bulk right after you cut? Why not just maintain once you achieve your desired look?

[hubbayumm]

That's your call

Some will say go ahead, others will say wait.

Here is a question for you, why do you want to bulk right after you cut? Why not just maintain once you achieve your desired look?

Damn good question.

Before my motorcycle accident I hung around 16% year round and weight was what it is now but had way more size, more strength and an overall more aesthetically pleasing look. At that time I tried to keep carbs low, and calories under 3000 (with exception of a couple bender days of likely 5000 cal days in a week, like I have admitted on here I have over eating issues. The issue being I love to stuff myself full of food) I never wanted a shredded look enough to put the cutting work to get there before.

Don't get me wrong, now I feel differently, I would like to be single digit BF %, but not until I have the muscle mass that I desire for that look. My personal preference is to have a better, bigger platform before I cut that low. I have no problem being around 12-15% even 20% through the next 8 months while I put back on the size. At 5'11 and LBM of over 200 lbs is the minimum I want to be before going there.

In my personal opinion, A skrawny body with abs, is as impressive as big titties on a fat chick. A 5'11 height with a LBM of under 200 lbs I consider scrawny. Again, this is just my opinion. I know I will not be pleased until I get my numbers where I desire.


I really want to catch the tail end of summer with a BF% of 12-15%,

I would like to stay at 12-15% on my 8 month bulk and I think It's very doable while keeping good track of my macros and increasing cals as needed without getting over 20%.
I figure I start getting close to 20% than I am to high and need to make some small adjustments.

I have no exp with gear, I really don't want to waste $$ and effort to only to be disappointed with my results you know. What do you think of all this? From what you have read here, what do you think I should do? Go for it? Is all this reasonable in your opinion?

If I do start this cycle my next step is research if my diet should change while on the winstrol /test and if I need to be taking an AI or anything else for the duration. Would you know what to suggest for me?

[RaginCajun]

for questions on gear, i would consult the HRT or Cycle Section, get better answers in there about that stuff

i hear what you are saying

8 month bulk, F that! unless you do a slow lean bulk so you won't gain too much fat. but after the 8 months, you will be right back where you are now, cutting. just my opinion.

and i see you are repeating, 'i want to feel full'. have you looked into intermittent fasting like i mentioned before? it helps me have that full feeling. i eat between the hours of 12:30 - 8:30pm so that i go to bed with a full stomach. i see you have fasted here and there so why not give it a try on your current macros.

[RaginCajun]

check this out https://brandoncarter.clickfunnels.c...-page-29431352

[SlimmerMe]

Can some people chime in on this for me?

Some have suggested before to wait to until a hint of abs is shown before I increase my test and start winstrol .

What if I wanted to do the cycle to get me to the point of seeing abs instead and stop my cut at that point?

I'm really not wanting to be shredded this year. I would be happy to catch the tail end of summer at 15% bf and spend the next 6 months bulking with minimal fat gain to go on a cut again leading into next summer with goals of getting under 15% bf on that round. From what I have read the winn with proper nutrition will speed up my resluts but I am conflicted with all the info I see and hear.

Kinda lost on nutrition when on the cycle too, do I increase calories or should they remain the same as I have been doing and seeing results.

If I understand this correctly, get the BF down to 15% before adding more test.

My 2 cents.

SM

[hubbayumm]

for questions on gear, i would consult the HRT or Cycle Section, get better answers in there about that stuff

i hear what you are saying

8 month bulk, F that! unless you do a slow lean bulk so you won't gain too much fat. but after the 8 months, you will be right back where you are now, cutting. just my opinion.

and i see you are repeating, 'i want to feel full'. have you looked into intermittent fasting like i mentioned before? it helps me have that full feeling. i eat between the hours of 12:30 - 8:30pm so that i go to bed with a full stomach. i see you have fasted here and there so why not give it a try on your current macros.

Intermittent fasting is nothing new to me, I basically have been doing that this last 2 weeks with my schedule change. I'ts a great recommendation for me so thx for your wisdom. I have been compensating fasting with most of my cheats for a couple months as well. Curious what you think of what I mean by this. I think it has been effective, obviously not as effective as eating exact macros and never fluctuating but with my life, (kids and constant changing schedule surprises happens).

This is my log post so I need to come clean.
Last night is a decent example, I took training night off, I planned on training late after my boys baseball games but it got really late and then the Texas cop shooter thing was on so I stopped by buddies house to watch with him.

His wife (whom is filipino) made dinner. Some filipino dish called Sarshado? It was chopped steak, peppers, onions, tomato base sauce over white rice. It was delicious and a nice change from my normal grinder food for the week. Yeah, a bed of white rice and when I got home, to add to the chaos I had a bowl of butter pecan Ice cream while laying in bed trying to fall asleep. Today I will start holding a min of 7 lbs of water or worse.

So I ended up going over my cals and excess carbs for the dayI would say by double perhaps?. To make up some ground lost, today I will fast until after I train shoulders/calves tonight, having only a post shake/tbspoon PB and calling it good with 55 g protein, no carb 10 g fat about 300 cals total. If I can't stop there and feel like I can't sleep on that, I'll have before bed a pint of egg whites,salsa , 2oz cheese, before bed which will be total around 750 cals, 30g fat & 110 g protein.

I think this has been much more effective than just going back to my daily intake the following day. What do you think? I know lacking protein sucks but my primary goal is to keep fat cutting so if I have to loose or not make some small muscle gain then I figure better this way.

I'm going to start cutting out my carbs today entirely and see what happens. Two small servings of oatmeal will not be missed anyhow. Some say do refeeds, but I am not sold on that yet. I have seen some say fuck the refeeds, and fuck cheat meals. all they do is set you back for fat loss??? This is so much trial and error its mind boggling.

I need to get this AM cardio going, it just turned noon. I'll post here again while peddling on bike.

[hubbayumm]

check this out https://brandoncarter.clickfunnels.c...-page-29431352

He states the basics but not so sure about his methods, "bulking for a month and then cutting for a month". He kind of lost me after that man.

I much more prefer this. Check Chris Jones out. https://www.youtube.com/c/pumpchasersclothing/videos



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