TRT or not

[Beon]

Struggling with doing TRT or not. Im 46 yrs, work as a software developer, been working out in the gym on and off since my early 20s.

I burnt out twice while working long hours in the computer industry. First time I went to rehabilitation for one month. At second burn out I was totally messed up; I couldnt even put letters together to words anymore, and has extreme difficulty to concentrate, etc. It took me 6 months to recover. I decided to quit the industry and move abroad to get a clean new start. This is 7 years ago and since then Ive started my own business in the computer industry, but have to take it real easy to be able to cope.

Three years ago I tried injecting testosterone for the first time (300mg propionate / week), just to see how it would improve my gym training. I couldnt believe my eyes. My body just exploded and grew like crazy, and I generally felt really great. I've never been addicted to anything in my life, but could see that this might be the thing to get hooked on.

I did testosterone and equipoise for 12 weeks this year. The cycle was great in so many ways. I made great gains in the gym, and during the cycle I have been able to do software development and other mentally difficult tasks without any problems what so ever. This is normally impossible for me, since it seems like my burnouts scarred me for life. I had no stress symptoms at all.

Now in third week of PCT I feel like shit, but thats expected, so no surprises. Mentally Im just totally worn out, and I cant work with programming in this state. Im basically just in idle mode waiting for my testosterone to raise so I can get my life back again. So my conclusion is that my mental concentration ability is directly related to the level of testosterone in my body. Perhaps in my earlier years I was depleted of testosterone (or simply needed more than the average person) but no one thought to check for it.

I've checked my blood several times, on and off cycle. Off cycle my testosterone is normal, 4.5 ng/mL, so in theory I dont need TRT. But Im starting to think I want it anyway, just for how the extra testosterone makes me feel and makes me able to work and live a normal life. Maybe a normal TRT dose of around 125 mg / week is all it takes to get back to that good feeling, or I'll adjust it until it feels good.

But I fear that once I start I will be on TRT for the rest of my life which feels kind of scary. I also fear that I might start to abuse it upping the dose all year around because of how good it makes me feel. I also fear known and unknown side effects. On the one hand it seems silly to take so drastic measures to fix something that isnt really a problem; I just need to accept the fact that Im getting older, and that I need to find a different job away from computers, and that I dont have genetics to look really buff in the gym. On the other hand: Im already 46 years, so what do I have to loose? If this shortens my life span (which may not be true), it is better to have a few really good years doing the things I enjoy than to slowly whither away.

I dont expect anyone here to solve my problem, just wanted to tell my story. For sure I need to meet up with a specialist and discuss. But I would appreciate any advice or hear about your similar experience.

[D2'd]

Hey Bro I feel your pain, I'm 41. It sounds like in general you were happier on cycle because things were going well for you in the gym and probably out as well with a general sense of happiness or contentment. In this frame of mind, everyday stresses seem to diminish and be easier to deal with. Now your hormone level is dropped and you're feeling down in the dumps which is understandable. I'd guess your T levels were kinda low to begin with, thus the dramatic difference in your attitude once you started pinning. So what we know is that you feel WAY better with higher T levels. Get yours tested and if required, jump all over HRT. No sense living your life pissed off all the time. If the doc deems that it's not low enough for therapy, tell him your gonna do it anyway and self administer like most of us do, and get checked regularly for negative issues. Good luck!

[HRTstudent]

Two things.

Most importantly, you need to get under the care of a good doctor who is an expert in male HRT.

Secondly, you need to decide whether you want to feel good mentally over the long haul, or you want to maximize your muscle gains. One is from therapeutic use, the other is from abuse; but you can't have both.

[Beon]

Hey Bro I feel your pain, I'm 41. ... No sense living your life pissed off all the time. If the doc deems that it's not low enough for therapy, tell him your gonna do it anyway and self administer like most of us do, and get checked regularly for negative issues. Good luck!

Thanks D2'd! I assume you are self administering, are you on HRT, and were you rejected by doctors?

Two things.

Most importantly, you need to get under the care of a good doctor who is an expert in male HRT.

Secondly, you need to decide whether you want to feel good mentally over the long haul, or you want to maximize your muscle gains. One is from therapeutic use, the other is from abuse; but you can't have both.

Why can't I have both? I assume many people on this board are permanently on HRT but are also doing cycles. Some bodybuilders never go off AAS and do maintenance doses between cycles, which is like being on HRT even if they technically are not HRT patients. I'm thinking that getting on HRT will get me a better general well being, and it will possibly also make me keep the gains better from cycles, especially if the HRT dose is in the higher range. Or am I thinking wrong here?

I've read on this board about people who take up to 300 mg of testosterone per week as HRT, by doctor's prescription. That sounds crazy to me. Thats what I did on my first cycle, and it totally blew me away. I dont need that kind of dose for sure (and it made me bloated too). I assume somewhere around 100 - 150 mg would do it for me, but of course I cant know until I start fine tuning the dose under an HRT doctor's supervision. Problem is that I dont trust the doctors to know much about this here in Thailand. So I also have to educate myself and make up my own mind regardless of what the doctor say.

[D2'd]

I actually just got bloodwork done and have yet to find out where my levels are. My doctor is slightly retarded so I'm not looking forward to this process.Yes I cycle regularly and always feel better emotionally when I'm on. No aggression just a sense of well being.

[Beon]

I actually just got bloodwork done and have yet to find out where my levels are. My doctor is slightly retarded so I'm not looking forward to this process.Yes I cycle regularly and always feel better emotionally when I'm on. No aggression just a sense of well being.

I have the same experience, I never get aggressive while on. If anything I get more relaxed and content. I do get headaches sometimes, and the first cycle I got really bad acne, but thats the only time.

Met with this old timer bodybuilder in the gym today that has been on HRT for years. He said that I dont need to consult any experts, just read up on the issue, get the correct blood work done, and make up your mind yourself. He does 250 mg Sustanon per week as HRT. Seems very high to me. It just seems reckless to not consult an expert.

[D2'd]

I think 150 - 180 is more the "norm" but I'm no expert. If it takes 250 mg to get him in the high range, so be it. Also with the ester attached, 250 mg is actually only 180 mg of test.
It sounds like you know what you want to do, make it happen my man!

[VTX1800]

Go for it man, 100-200 mg/ml a week will keep you in high range I bet you will feel great. Good luck locating a dr over seas that will help you along.

[lovbyts]

Thanks D2'd! I assume you are self administering, are you on HRT, and were you rejected by doctors?



Why can't I have both? I assume many people on this board are permanently on HRT but are also doing cycles. Some bodybuilders never go off AAS and do maintenance doses between cycles, which is like being on HRT even if they technically are not HRT patients. I'm thinking that getting on HRT will get me a better general well being, and it will possibly also make me keep the gains better from cycles, especially if the HRT dose is in the higher range. Or am I thinking wrong here?

I've read on this board about people who take up to 300 mg of testosterone per week as HRT, by doctor's prescription. That sounds crazy to me. Thats what I did on my first cycle, and it totally blew me away. I dont need that kind of dose for sure (and it made me bloated too). I assume somewhere around 100 - 150 mg would do it for me, but of course I cant know until I start fine tuning the dose under an HRT doctor's supervision. Problem is that I dont trust the doctors to know much about this here in Thailand. So I also have to educate myself and make up my own mind regardless of what the doctor say.

Basically because this is the HRT/TRT section and it's dedicated to those issues, not to cycling. Thats the short simple answer.

[Beon]

Basically because this is the HRT/TRT section and it's dedicated to those issues, not to cycling. Thats the short simple answer.

I can't both do HRT and do cycles, because this board isnt designed to handle my questions? You make no sense.

[redhawk01]

He's saying this forum/thread, is in the TRT section. Mainly for medical low t issues. If you want to cycle on top of your TRT, there is another forum for that.