Need relationship advise quick!

**zaggahamma** · 02-16-2012, 06:53 AM

Good advice Thailand

**Flier** · 02-16-2012, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by John Andrew

Do you really want to read books and try to understand women? If you are happy fine, If you are not happy get rid of her, get a new one , have fun, do not look back! OK I am old and married too often, however now I have overcome my addiction to wedding cake I just do what makes me happy. Its either behave or go! My way or the highway. The front door is always open. Wanna lawyer, fine I will not be here for him or for you! To hell with Venus and Mars. Men are the hunters!!! Good hunting!

Lol.
Love the internet, many opinions, views, ways to skin a cat, based on different personal experiences, from all corners of the world.
I can think of several who could implement your ways, as I see them stuck in the rut, trying to fix the unfixable.

**flatscat** · 02-16-2012, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by John Andrew

Do you really want to read books and try to understand women? If you are happy fine, If you are not happy get rid of her, get a new one , have fun, do not look back! OK I am old and married too often, however now I have overcome my addiction to wedding cake I just do what makes me happy. Its either behave or go! My way or the highway. The front door is always open. Wanna lawyer, fine I will not be here for him or for you! To hell with Venus and Mars. Men are the hunters!!! Good hunting!

Well, there you have it. The answer to all of our problems.

Cept with that attitude i could never afford to fly again with all the baggage i would be carrying - as i am assuming you are now... But i am really glad you are happy.

**DaRoq** · 02-16-2012, 04:56 PM

Even small children know that you have no bargaining power with them if they don't want what you have to give...

**PPC** · 02-17-2012, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by jpkman

thanks ppcthats another good reminder that women should have their hormones checked as well....is female hrt controversial and or frowned on in any circles even though its been practiced for much longer than male?

HRT therapy for women is in a bit of a strange place right now. You're right, it was commonly practiced for women here in the US before TRT became more known about. Then the results of the WHI (World Health Initiative) study were revealed and female HRT was hence forth considered dangerous.

The problem was that the distinction between the synthetic hormones used for the study and natural hormones, identical to what our body makes, was not clarified by the media. The study evaluated the use of premarin (conjugated horse estrogen) and provera (medroxyprogesterone acetate). The first is a horse estrogen, the second is a synthetic hormone not natural to our female body.Estrogen itself is now thought to be "dangerous" by many thanks to the negative results of the study, somehow natural hormones were lumped into the results of the study when they were never part of it!

Now, some women do use BHRT to restore lost hormones. The pellet hormone industry is growing in popularity with females. But on the whole, while some women do break down and replace estrogen and progesterone when it declines, I think it is less common to replace T. It is starting to happen more though. Most major cities have clinics that replace all major female and male hormones.

**PPC** · 02-17-2012, 08:22 AM

Sorry for that long post without paragraphs. i put them in but something went wrong and now I can't edit. I hate to read one long paragraph so again... I apologize. (Got that fixed).

**JD250** · 02-17-2012, 08:28 AM

No offense John but we can get advice like that on any wall in most public restrooms and in every rap song. Not all that helpful but we respect and appreciate your willingness to share.

**JD250** · 02-17-2012, 08:35 AM

PPC, you never need to apologize for your posts, they are informative and very helpful, you are a great asset to this forum and we're lucky to have gals like you on here. If my wife wasn't too shy to post she would thank you in person also for some of your posts. Thank you and keep it up!!!

**zaggahamma** · 02-17-2012, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by PPC;5***776

HRT therapy for women is in a bit of a strange place right now. You're right, it was commonly practiced for women here in the US before TRT became more known about. Then the results of the WHI (World Health Initiative) study were revealed and female HRT was hence forth considered dangerous.The problem was that the distinction between the synthetic hormones used for the study and natural hormones, identical to what our body makes, was not clarified by the media. The study evaluated the use of premarin (conjugated horse estrogen) and provera (medroxyprogesterone acetate). The first is a horse estrogen, the second is a synthetic hormone not natural to our female body.Estrogen itself is now thought to be "dangerous" by many thanks to the negative results of the study, somehow natural hormones were lumped into the results of the study when they were never part of it!Now, some women do use BHRT to restore lost hormones. The pellet hormone industry is growing in popularity with females. But on the whole, while some women do break down and replace estrogen and progesterone when it declines, I think it is less common to replace T. It is starting to happen more though. Most major cities have clinics that replace all major female and male hormones.

thanks for reply
so i'm thinking maybe even more rare for a women to be treated

**JD250** · 02-17-2012, 09:06 AM

PPC, can you give any sort of opinion on the bodylogic clinics, are these comparable to the Florida clinics that men use or are they a legit place to get health care? I make the comparison because I would NEVER take health advice from MY clinic, they merely supply me with the script and drugs I need, I just hate the thought of my wife having to deal with people like that too. Sorry for the sidetrack.

**PPC** · 02-17-2012, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by JD250;5***813

PPC, can you give any sort of opinion on the bodylogic clinics, are these comparable to the Florida clinics that men use or are they a legit place to get health care? I make the comparison because I would NEVER take health advice from MY clinic, they merely supply me with the script and drugs I need, I just hate the thought of my wife having to deal with people like that too. Sorry for the sidetrack.

I have heard good things about that chain of clinics. Pricey though. From what I've heard they are thorough and would not just supply a script and leave you to it. They may be great for your wife.

**althor** · 02-19-2012, 04:16 AM

Get her on test for women. Look up Jason julius female or' blueprint and Vin Dicarlo's Pandoras box. I spent 18yrs wingeing about never getting enough, and now I can hardly keep up. There's a lot more to it than just blowing a load convince her you are doing it for her and her getting off turns you on, more than just doing it. Hope I dont get in trouble for this post.

**althor** · 02-19-2012, 05:01 AM

OK I might add a bit more, at least in my life experiance guys dont get together and discuss what and how to treat women. Also the women that I've been with before I met my wife back in 1993, were all selfconcious, I was never lucky enough to have a lady explain to me, "like this do that!" Women expect men to know what to do. There are lots of seduction manuals out there and some bits and pieces I use from them all. 1 thing I didn't know most of my life was. As one girl I was talking to at work one day said that I was dead. I was just pretending, but I said that I didn't know what the secret signs were that women give off when they are attracted to you.
But now at 40 there are heaps of women that I know are attracted to me. I have allways been faithfull, but the knowledge I have gathered over the last 18 months has given me the confidance I have always lacked. To the point where I dont have to ask my wife anymore. She's even told me her bad thing! All women have one it makes them who they are and my sweet darling wife, has even given me a list of her fantacys. Which I had tried to get her to try before but she to embarresed. Got to go now add a bit more later.

**zaggahamma** · 02-19-2012, 07:59 AM

oh althor!

**althor** · 02-19-2012, 10:01 AM

oh? lol

**PPC** · 02-19-2012, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by althor

oh? lol

Sexual skill and expertise is not a fix all when someone is not committed to the sexual component of a relationship. Women ( and sometimes men) in these states are not desiring to be seduced. They are not sexually reluctant because their partner is not the greatest lover, it is usually a far more complex issue than that. A woman with low sex hormones and a general disinterest in sexual engagement with her partner doesn't care about how many orgasms he might be able to give her. Orgasms are not big on her priority list. That's just the sad reality for many a couple. Fantasies? She is stressed about the laundry and work and money. Fantasies may not even be on her radar.

**JohnnyVegas** · 02-19-2012, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by Flier

Yes a portion.
But Yannics doc told him that the reason men are hornier than women is because we have a bucketload of more test. This is not true.

My wife's libido has diminished and we recently had her hormones checked. She had high estrogen but low progesterone and testosterone . The doctor ordered a cream from the compounding pharmacy that has progesterone (for some of her other symptoms) and testosterone specifically for sex drive.

I have always read that sex drive for women is complicated (like everything else involving them). They need estrogen for a sense of well being, and to cause things to work downstairs. They need testosterone which raises interest, arousal and satisfaction. Most frustratingly, it requires an emotional component. Grrrr. I want to know when they are going to come out with a drug that covers the emotional component.

**Kk570h** · 02-20-2012, 01:01 AM

Just try not to let eyes wonder . I live in Detriot , next to Windsor where professional women are legal . I was thinking , Hmmm . A women with small hands would be a dream come true . LOL !

Good luck .
Dont wanna be old .

Lolllllll.lllll

**zaggahamma** · 02-20-2012, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

My wife's libido has diminished and we recently had her hormones checked. She had high estrogen but low progesterone and testosterone . The doctor ordered a cream from the compounding pharmacy that has progesterone (for some of her other symptoms) and testosterone specifically for sex drive.

I have always read that sex drive for women is complicated (like everything else involving them). They need estrogen for a sense of well being, and to cause things to work downstairs. They need testosterone which raises interest, arousal and satisfaction. Most frustratingly, it requires an emotional component. Grrrr. I want to know when they are going to come out with a drug that covers the emotional component.

jewelry better known as bling

**althor** · 02-21-2012, 07:28 AM

I hear what you are all saying.

But!!!! Male or female, we are the same but differant. I found that as I got older it became not such a big deal. Not like when I was young going out nightclubing, partying and that.
Women are more sensitive and when you take the time to take her needs over your own. Women can get a lot more out of it than a man. Also think about IT just as much it not more then men. Crap! I here you saying. There are stress of life factors n' that. I agree 100%. But although this a old post the question was raised.

A trick I learnt, is the female interprets infomation differantly than a male, also have differant risks involved with sex, than a man. Oops side tracked, this is still hard for me to do when speeking to someone, but I'm better when writing. But get an old dictionary, dust it off and start finding words that describe emotions, descriptive words, feelings and stuff like that. It might sound stupid useing those types of descriptive words when talking to another bloke, but the minds of women see, feel and experience these words you are saying.
Imagine sitting around a campfire, think to yourself what you would say to someone about that experience. Thats pretty dull mate! Dress it up a bit, when telling your partner.

eg. Remember sitting around the campfire at (where ever), the fires energy warming the skin. The embers being lifted far into the sky, reaching, soaring trying to reach and become one with the stars. The feeling of joy and happiness as I recall the times camping with my family when I was young. Stareing at the red hot coals pulseing as the fire, consumes, years of stored energy. The breath of a cool brease against bare skin on my neck.

So do you see my point? One thing that worked really good for me. I only tried it once. Was, I messaged someone. I simply stated. I can imagine how good it will feel, the next time I see your btiful smile

**zaggahamma** · 02-21-2012, 08:24 AM

I just learnt a lot

Anyone went campin dis weekend?

**flatscat** · 02-21-2012, 09:06 AM

Lol. Yep. But those words never graced my lips. Guess i gotta buy a dictionary before i go next time.

**zaggahamma** · 02-21-2012, 09:15 AM

Mayb camp by a weeping willow tree they make good whips who knows

**flatscat** · 02-21-2012, 09:34 AM

Rule of thumb bro, rule of thumb...

**Herman Munster** · 02-21-2012, 10:26 AM

Seems I have work ahead of me, I need:

1. Books on relationships
2. To discuss my feelings
3. Get married at 40 to a younger woman
4. Get her off the anti-depressants; bi-polar/suicide/depression are a risk worth taking as long as she is horny
5. Just get rid of her – upgrade, the kids will understand. Mommy needs to put out or get out.
6. Excel at the art of seduction – learn her fantasy
7. Enhance my sexual and emotional vocabulary; be descriptive when I discuss innocuous events
8. Build a campfire

Couldn't I just assume she is entering menopause as I have entered Andropause – get blood work and discuss a program similar to my TRT protocol, just women based?

**zaggahamma** · 02-21-2012, 10:39 AM

Good summary of options

**meathead320** · 02-21-2012, 10:55 AM

Obviously hormones are often the #1 issue in sex drive. That is no secret to folks around here.

After that there are lots of things a guy can do to make himself more attractive to his girl, and its not always playing nice.

Present yourself as more attractive helps. Don't wear your ****ty old rag gym clothes out in public with your wife/gf, for one example. If you take a little better care of how you look/dress and your girl sees you getting attention and looks from other women, even if she wants to claw their eyes out, it can be a secret turn on for her. I was out at a club recently with my girl, and there were a couple girls eye ****ing me, and one even touched me, twice in front of my girl.

Well, she got angry, naturally. Later that night great sex, and even more enthusiasm than usual.

Other things help like, not asking for sex. Just taking her, and taking control, and giving it to her like an animal, selfishly. Not worry about her orgasm either, just selfishly ****ing her, not being gentle, and pumping a load in her like a caveman. I think being overly concerned about her orgasm is a big turn off, oddly enough. The best sex I ever have is where I am more aggressive and selfish about it. Not 2 pump chump selfish, but the kind where my goal isn’t to please her, I make the motion what feels good to me. This seems to get her even more into it. If she really wants to have an orgasm she might just play with her own clit, while you are cavemanning her, you can even tell her to. Then you don't have to do all the work.

One other thing, besides being a selfish caveman that can help, is to talk dirty to her. Bring out the man voice, and tell her what you are going to do to her. You can give her a play by play of what is going on, “you ****ing love that hard throbbing **** in you, cuz your’re my dirty naughty little **ut. Ohhh you seem so sweet and innocent, but I know you really like a big hairy man to pump you full of ***!!”

There are many more things that can make a guy more attractive, but these 3 things are just a start.

1. Dress a notch better, especially when you two leave the house.

2. Don’t ask for sex, and be more selfish about it.

3. Talk dirty to her.

**zaggahamma** · 02-21-2012, 11:03 AM

U been spying on me Dayam

**bass** · 02-21-2012, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by jpkman

I just learnt a lot

Anyone went campin dis weekend?

JP you killing me!

**bass** · 02-21-2012, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by meathead320

Obviously hormones are often the #1 issue in sex drive. That is no secret to folks around here.

After that there are lots of things a guy can do to make himself more attractive to his girl, and its not always playing nice.

Present yourself as more attractive helps. Don't wear your ****ty old rag gym clothes out in public with your wife/gf, for one example. If you take a little better care of how you look/dress and your girl sees you getting attention and looks from other women, even if she wants to claw their eyes out, it can be a secret turn on for her. I was out at a club recently with my girl, and there were a couple girls eye ****ing me, and one even touched me, twice in front of my girl.

Well, she got angry, naturally. Later that night great sex, and even more enthusiasm than usual.

Other things help like, not asking for sex. Just taking her, and taking control, and giving it to her like an animal, selfishly. Not worry about her orgasm either, just selfishly ****ing her, not being gentle, and pumping a load in her like a caveman. I think being overly concerned about her orgasm is a big turn off, oddly enough. The best sex I ever have is where I am more aggressive and selfish about it. Not 2 pump chump selfish, but the kind where my goal isn’t to please her, I make the motion what feels good to me. This seems to get her even more into it. If she really wants to have an orgasm she might just play with her own clit, while you are cavemanning her, you can even tell her to. Then you don't have to do all the work.

One other thing, besides being a selfish caveman that can help, is to talk dirty to her. Bring out the man voice, and tell her what you are going to do to her. You can give her a play by play of what is going on, “you ****ing love that hard throbbing **** in you, cuz your’re my dirty naughty little **ut. Ohhh you seem so sweet and innocent, but I know you really like a big hairy man to pump you full of ***!!”

There are many more things that can make a guy more attractive, but these 3 things are just a start.

1. Dress a notch better, especially when you two leave the house.

2. Don’t ask for sex, and be more selfish about it.

3. Talk dirty to her.

you do realize porn is not based on reality, right?

**PPC** · 02-21-2012, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Herman Munster

Seems I have work ahead of me, I need:

1. Books on relationships
2. To discuss my feelings
3. Get married at 40 to a younger woman
4. Get her off the anti-depressants; bi-polar/suicide/depression are a risk worth taking as long as she is horny
5. Just get rid of her – upgrade, the kids will understand. Mommy needs to put out or get out.
6. Excel at the art of seduction – learn her fantasy
7. Enhance my sexual and emotional vocabulary; be descriptive when I discuss innocuous events
8. Build a campfire

Couldn't I just assume she is entering menopause as I have entered Andropause – get blood work and discuss a program similar to my TRT protocol, just women based?

Blood work and sound hormone therapy is an excellent way to start for sure. But there are some guys here who would love for that very simple thing to happen. Their partners however are unwilling to take that step...or maybe just uninterested. This is quite common for low desire partners, they think they are fine, that their partner has an overly inflated sex drive... why feed it?

I was in this situation several years back, I had to make three different appointments for my husband with a hormone Doc. He cancelled the first couple, simply because he didn't want to address the problem. He's not an idiot or a jerk, he's not selfish in most areas of our marriage. Even at that time in many ways he was a wonderful husband and father. He just thought things were sort of fine as they were. Malaise had set in.

It can be real tough when you love someone, have years... decades even, of memories with them... children together. You know there is more for your marriage but your partner is quite happy with how it is. That's why there are so many solutions being thrown around here in this thread. There's no simple answer but so much at stake. Yes, some of these ideas seem way out. I doubt attempting to "nail" a wife of twenty years like a caveman and completely ignore her orgasm will restore solid, ongoing sexuality. And the other side - "give her multiples, she'll come back for more" is not going to appeal to a woman with low estrogen which usually means a dry painful vagina or low T, which often means a hard time even having one successful orgasm. But these ideas are being shared in a generous way to try to help.

If a spouse is open to blood work and a pathway to restored sexual hormones, that's fantastic. Hopefully that will be your case and things will naturally progress to a more positive state from there. Taking that first step means they care enough about the sexual relationship to invest time, effort, money and thought into it. But for some members here, seeing their partner be willing to walk that path would seem like a miracle in itself.

So they learn to endure, (which includes hurt and misery) or they push for change and make their spouse uncomfortable (which includes turmoil for a while as the apple cart is upset)... or they leave. None of those options are easy, simple or fun. I have great empathy for anyone going through this.

**zaggahamma** · 02-21-2012, 04:59 PM

Well said..tough situation

**bass** · 02-21-2012, 05:39 PM

so true PPC, well said!

**Moparman** · 02-20-2013, 08:59 AM

I don't have this problem. Luckily. I'm not sure I could deal with It for very long. You got to be compatible in bed for a relationship to survive. When one ants it and the other doesn't, there's going to be tension.

**tripperdogg** · 02-20-2013, 01:45 PM

I know what your saying OP, I've been married for 23 years and I'm lucky to get anythingonce a month. I always have to initiate sex, usually I get a distrurbed look from her and then basically no real involvement during the act. She is a "MY WAY" kind of woman, I'm always wrong or did the wrong thing . It does get old. I have only just started my 6th week and am finding myself more interested in sex and finding all kinds of women attractive. Because she is in the medical field, she treats me as lower than her since she has a masters degree and I dont. Our 2 sons seem to keep us together thankfully, but there is little affection from her towards me. Sorry for the tale of woe, but you are definetly not alone. I do all of the above, hugs, compliments,work around the house and it just stays the same. I am thinking about getting the book that PPC recommended on page one of this thread. I'll probably just get in trouble for it. ha ha

**tripperdogg** · 02-20-2013, 04:00 PM

I know what your saying OP, I've been married for 23 years and I'm lucky to get anythingonce a month. I always have to initiate sex, usually I get a distrurbed look from her and then basically no real involvement during the act. She is a "MY WAY" kind of woman, I'm always wrong or did the wrong thing . It does get old. I have only just started my 6th week and am finding myself more interested in sex and finding all kinds of women attractive. Because she is in the medical field, she treats me as lower than her since she has a masters degree and I dont. Our 2 sons seem to keep us together thankfully, but there is little affection from her towards me. Sorry for the tale of woe, but you are definetly not alone. I do all of the above, hugs, compliments,work around the house and it just stays the same. I am thinking about getting the book that PPC recommended on page one of this thread. I'll probably just get in trouble for it. ha ha

**tripperdogg** · 02-20-2013, 04:01 PM

Sorry for double post !

**dreadnok89** · 02-20-2013, 06:59 PM

Maybe she's self conscious? Getting older and had kids? Being self conscious ruins my sex drive more than any hormone! I take care of myself regularly, but it affects my relationships. If you said no to that already, sorry for saying it again!

**steroid.com 1** · 02-21-2013, 12:09 AM

Originally Posted by tripperdogg

I know what your saying OP, I've been married for 23 years and I'm lucky to get anythingonce a month. I always have to initiate sex, usually I get a distrurbed look from her and then basically no real involvement during the act. She is a "MY WAY" kind of woman, I'm always wrong or did the wrong thing . It does get old. I have only just started my 6th week and am finding myself more interested in sex and finding all kinds of women attractive. Because she is in the medical field, she treats me as lower than her since she has a masters degree and I dont. Our 2 sons seem to keep us together thankfully, but there is little affection from her towards me. Sorry for the tale of woe, but you are definetly not alone. I do all of the above, hugs, compliments,work around the house and it just stays the same. I am thinking about getting the book that PPC recommended on page one of this thread. I'll probably just get in trouble for it. ha ha

So, you have two viable options as I see it:

1) Live the miserable existence that you have now and be totally unfilled, or
2) Take control of your life and make a change either with your wife or not...life is way to shot to live it unfilled and unhappy man.