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Thread: a new problem while on TRT...SEX!

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    bass's Avatar
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    a new problem while on TRT...SEX!

    my wife and i are almost the same age, 51. normally sex drive at this age slows down for both men and women, but now that i am on TRT we are no match! basically i want it all the time and she doesn't, masturbation is out of the question, i am just not into that! cheating is not even on the map! so what is the solution? BTW she is not supportive of me being on TRT, she thinks i am doing narcotics! LOL, and she is totally against it. so hormones for her is out of the question. now some of us here the wives likes it 2-3 times a day, those are the lucky ones, but for those who are in my situation, how do you deal with it? TRT is a double edge sword!

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    Well man, with "masturbation out of the question" (and why, it's totally normal???) you're stuck between a rock and Hard Place (no pun intended)

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    bigbossofdariver is offline Junior Member
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    either you get your wife to **** you more often or you masturbate, personally the masturbation option seems much easier.

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    d ole androgel in da panties stunt

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    Quote Originally Posted by jpkman View Post
    d ole androgel in da panties stunt
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

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    might not taste good...i didnt think that thru

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbossofdariver View Post
    either you get your wife to **** you more often or you masturbate, personally the masturbation option seems much easier.
    Oh how truer words were never spoken!

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    THE-DET-OAK is offline Banned
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    she could have low T levels

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    start using Nolvadex

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    Quote Originally Posted by jpkman View Post
    might not taste good...i didnt think that thru
    lol!

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    GotNoBlueMilk is offline Knowledgeable Member
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    On a serious note, you could consider lowering your E2 levels some more so you are not so horny. Low E2 kills my libido. For me there is a range where I don't have all the nasty low E2 sides -- joint pain, mental fog, irritable, low energy -- but I don't have nearly as strong of a libido either. I have to admit, it is nice not thinking about sex 24/7 like some teenager.

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    Yes, the timing is sort of sub-optimal isn't it? I think I have commented before that now that I'm on TRT, I'm ready to go much more often that I was before TRT. My wife, on the other hand, is in the beginning stages of menopause. I think there must have been 10 years where we weren't in synch at all because of my low-T, and now, her menopause. I'm now thankful for a weekly "encounter". No solutions for you bro. Oh...yeah, if you "gel" her occasionally, she will probably be more cooperative, but I don't know how you do that unless you can figure out a way to do it on the sly.

    Learn to enjoy long showers...

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    clemont51 is offline Banned
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    Two most overrated things; home screwing and Virginia ham.

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    GotNoBlueMilk is offline Knowledgeable Member
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    well . . . Virginia ham, yes.

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    I have the same problem. My wife is 10 years younger than I am, but working full time and getting her MBA...I give her a pass. She is exhausted and burned out more than she is "not horny." Still, I have learned patience...and take care of it myself on occasion.

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    Man that is unfortunate, but I understand how she feels about the TRT - the media and most of US culture isn't very supportive of actually fixing the health problems. =/

    Hopefully over time she will see the positive changes in you and you can continue to share research and publications on the benefits of Anti Aging therapy and she will come around. We're younger (my wife and I) but it took her quite a few months to come around more and understand. She is now a huge supportver of AA and would even love to eventually work at a clinic and help spread the word any way she can. We found out she has a genetic progesterone problem and very low T. I can tell you and so can she, that her life has really turned around already and she's still in the tweaking phase as she's only been 'on' for about 2.5 Months.

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    sirupate is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Termin8r27 View Post
    Man that is unfortunate, but I understand how she feels about the TRT - the media and most of US culture isn't very supportive of actually fixing the health problems. =/

    Hopefully over time she will see the positive changes in you and you can continue to share research and publications on the benefits of Anti Aging therapy and she will come around. We're younger (my wife and I) but it took her quite a few months to come around more and understand. She is now a huge supportver of AA and would even love to eventually work at a clinic and help spread the word any way she can. We found out she has a genetic progesterone problem and very low T. I can tell you and so can she, that her life has really turned around already and she's still in the tweaking phase as she's only been 'on' for about 2.5 Months.
    Maybe I missed it, but what is your wife on, amount and frequency. I bet lots of women would love to know this...well, men too (for their wives).

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    The other thing you have to consider if your situation is/was anything like mine is this -

    I have been married for about 11 years. I think we had a pretty good sex life for maybe the two years we dated and maybe another year after that. Then the babies came, and then I think my low t started (not because of the bambino's, lol). So, for prolly 6 or seven years she dealt with MY low sex drive and kinda either got used to it or decided that was just how it was going to be (or had a Sancho). I really didnt even notice (kinda like the fat that was piling on my gut). Now all of a sudden I am like a teenager again - wanting it ALL the time. It kinda pissed her off at first. And, like your wife, she said it was ALL because of what I was injecting myself with.

    Fast forward to today - she understands now that my hormone levels were wacked and she knows I actually need the t now. She has seen the change in my body (and likes it), she sees other women looking and flirting with me (and i think likes that too), she knows that I could have most of those women if I wanted but choose to stay with her.

    Now I am not saying that I get it near as much as I want, but I am getting it a lot more than I was for the first 6-8 months of being on trt. Most females prolly need a good amount of time to go from where they were to where you want them to be.

    Give it some time - let her see how it has changed not only your body, but your confidence and the way you treat her. Back off the cave man hit her in the head and drag her to the bed talk all the time and let her get to know the new you again.

    I must say that my marriage is NOT perfect. We have had to deal with several issues along the way that were related to my old sluggo self. But, at the end of the day, the new me is way better than the old me (even before we were married) and she is coming around.

    Best of luck bro and hope this helps.

    Flats

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    Quote Originally Posted by sirupate View Post
    Maybe I missed it, but what is your wife on, amount and frequency. I bet lots of women would love to know this...well, men too (for their wives).
    She's on this board every once in a while and I can get her to post up again but she's currently 32 and on:
    Progesterone during days 14-28 of her cycle
    Testosterone cream split into two doses per day
    Thyroid of 2.5 grain everyday
    DHEA 25mg about every other day right now (she was everyday, but it seemed to be converting to too much DHT and we've backed it off)

    She's also on an assortment of ancillary supplements for general health and also competes in figure for fun more or less.

    We have two children that are 5 and 2.5 and we've been together about 11 Years. We've always been physically active, have Exercise Science degrees and have been into bodybuilding more or less most of our adult lives (for fun). When I discovered my problem(s) she was a bit skepticle, but supportive. My mentality, behavior, body composition, etc started to change quite noticably over the first 6-9 months and we started to think more about her probable issues and challenges. She just didn't have much of a sex drive anymore, its been harder gaining muscle and staying 'in shape' and just having any energy.
    She went to go see an AA Clinic here in Austin that I originally was working with and its been great. She most likely has PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome) and even though her baseline thyroid #'s were normal the clinic showed her that many women with PCOS and family history of thyroid issues can still have a problem (hence the thyroid med's).

    As I stated earlier, we're still tweaking and running bloodwork...its only been about 3 months, but she's already seen huge improvements. Bedroom time is one of them and it can be glorious! =) Her SHBG is still high and I think over the next few months things are really going to 'settle' in her body and she'll get in a good groove.

    I hope that helps!

    Quote Originally Posted by flatscat View Post
    The other thing you have to consider if your situation is/was anything like mine is this -

    I have been married for about 11 years. I think we had a pretty good sex life for maybe the two years we dated and maybe another year after that. Then the babies came, and then I think my low t started (not because of the bambino's, lol). So, for prolly 6 or seven years she dealt with MY low sex drive and kinda either got used to it or decided that was just how it was going to be (or had a Sancho). I really didnt even notice (kinda like the fat that was piling on my gut). Now all of a sudden I am like a teenager again - wanting it ALL the time. It kinda pissed her off at first. And, like your wife, she said it was ALL because of what I was injecting myself with.

    Fast forward to today - she understands now that my hormone levels were wacked and she knows I actually need the t now. She has seen the change in my body (and likes it), she sees other women looking and flirting with me (and i think likes that too), she knows that I could have most of those women if I wanted but choose to stay with her.

    Now I am not saying that I get it near as much as I want, but I am getting it a lot more than I was for the first 6-8 months of being on trt. Most females prolly need a good amount of time to go from where they were to where you want them to be.

    Give it some time - let her see how it has changed not only your body, but your confidence and the way you treat her. Back off the cave man hit her in the head and drag her to the bed talk all the time and let her get to know the new you again.

    I must say that my marriage is NOT perfect. We have had to deal with several issues along the way that were related to my old sluggo self. But, at the end of the day, the new me is way better than the old me (even before we were married) and she is coming around.

    Best of luck bro and hope this helps.

    Flats
    A lot of similiarities here for me too and great advice! Use your newfound confidence and mental clarity to 'date' her and get back to the way things 'used to be' back in the day.

  20. #20
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    hey thanks guys for all the responses! flats i hear you bro! i try not overwhelm her and be pushy, we've been married for almost 25 years and have many children, we are very committed and in love, so i try to put her first in everything. your stories are inspiring because you didn't give up and you were willing to change your lives for your wives, thats awesome!

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    how did you know I had more than one???????

    lmfao

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    haha...i meant you and the other guys who had similar stories!

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    Oh, please. Dont you realize women are just plain crazy? They always need something to complain about & sex is no different. My girl has always loved sex, but once in awhile she'll spout some crap about not being able to keep up with me and how she works & commutes too many hours to have sex all the time. Or how my need to boink all the time is screwing up our relationship. So then we'll take two days off & before long she's jumping on my face again. Dont you understand? We as men just cannot win...

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    young freak(s)

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    Quote Originally Posted by APIs View Post
    Oh, please. Dont you realize women are just plain crazy? They always need something to complain about & sex is no different. My girl has always loved sex, but once in awhile she'll spout some crap about not being able to keep up with me and how she works & commutes too many hours to have sex all the time. Or how my need to boink all the time is screwing up our relationship. So then we'll take two days off & before long she's jumping on my face again. Dont you understand? We as men just cannot win...
    well, its been 3 days and no jumping on my face yet! trying to stay busy doing work around the house until the time comes! damn i think i wont last more than 2 seconds!

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    Quote Originally Posted by bass View Post
    well, its been 3 days and no jumping on my face yet! trying to stay busy doing work around the house until the time comes! damn i think i wont last more than 2 seconds!
    pull her into the cave bro

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    i am much better today!

    its probably my fault, i have her on a strict diet, no starchy carbs with one cheat day a week, so low sugar diet might be working against me!

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    Foot rubs
    Sweet words
    Hugging for more than a minute with no expectations
    Doing a chore without being reminded
    Complimenting something very specific like the color of nail polish
    LISTENING
    Bringing home a thoughtful gift even if just a fresh wildflower
    Paying attention
    Making her feel SPECIAL......

    THAT SHOULD HELP FELLAS........

    Let me know........

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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    Foot rubs
    Sweet words
    Hugging for more than a minute with no expectations
    Doing a chore without being reminded
    Complimenting something very specific like the color of nail polish
    LISTENING
    Bringing home a thoughtful gift even if just a fresh wildflower
    Paying attention
    Making her feel SPECIAL......

    THAT SHOULD HELP FELLAS........

    Let me know........
    words of wisdom coming from a female, how can we go wrong! thanks for the tip Slimmer!

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    ^^^ you are welcome. And I bet if all the above are done within a 24 hour time frame? BINGO!

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    still nuttin go tell cheetah to go out and play

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    no it was BINGO night for me yesterday! and i feel lucky today too!

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    Buy a flesh-light? Heard good things... hehe.

    While I have always had a healthy appetite despite being low on T, I did find that my sex drive hasn't increased so much as it has changed. Before it was like "Yay, boobies. Hit it, hit it harder, grab boobies, hit it harder than finish."

    Now that I am on TRT, it's the pull her hair, grab her ass, smash her into the headboard type sex; a complete change for me. I guess what has worked for me is that I don't mention sex to her. I just focus on the animalistic passion associated with it. The looks, stares etc. Maybe you're too vocal about it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by boundup View Post
    Buy a flesh-light? Heard good things... hehe.

    While I have always had a healthy appetite despite being low on T, I did find that my sex drive hasn't increased so much as it has changed. Before it was like "Yay, boobies. Hit it, hit it harder, grab boobies, hit it harder than finish."

    Now that I am on TRT, it's the pull her hair, grab her ass, smash her into the headboard type sex; a complete change for me. I guess what has worked for me is that I don't mention sex to her. I just focus on the animalistic passion associated with it. The looks, stares etc. Maybe you're too vocal about it?
    dude, if i take your approach I'll never have sex! LOL!

  35. #35
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    I didn't read the entire thread because I am being lazy today but my wife started Bio Identical hormone cream and her sex drive has increased a bunch almost matches mine now. I am 46 she is 47.

  36. #36
    PPC
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    OP, does your wife know of some of the health benefits of sex and semen itself? The vaginal walls are one of the most absorbent areas of a female body and semen gives women a shot of incredible goodies that are absorbed directly into the blood stream. Sex is a perfect give and take because we really need what our mates have to offer health wise via ejaculation. Semen is a health promoter and mood brightener like no other. There is also evidence a woman can recieve these benefits via oral too.

    Your ejaculation is loaded with zinc, which helps to build your wive's immune system. It has high amounts of vitamin C and B12 which nourish her adrenal glands and promote better energy and ability to fight disease. It contains three major cancer fighting agents. The first two are selenium and glyco proteins. The third is TGR beta (transforming growth factor beta), a molecule that can increase the number and activity of 'natural killer' cells in her body. These killer cells recoginze and fight cells that promote tumors.

    A study at the STate University of New York suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant for women. The study showed that women who had sex without condoms, had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex. Semen also has nutrients to plump skin and strengthen hair.

    But it's not just semen. The act of sex itself in women releases small amounts of HGH to increase lean muscle, prevent skin sagging and promote energy. Here's the biggie, sex gives women a five fold elevated release of oxytocin. That hormone promotes bonding with you, it fights stress, depression and anxiety. Studies looking at the benefits of oxytocin report that it reduces 'neurotic tendencies.'

    Another benefit of sex for females. It releases more healthy estrogen to plump up the vagina and tone fights incontinence and vaginal dryness. Women who have dry vaginas should actually have more sex. More sex triggers more estrogen which also has been studied to increase feelings of 'flirtiness' in females. Long dry spells can actually lower desire in women while more frequent sex generally raises desire by promoting more positive feedback loops with estrogen and oxytocin.

    Would your wife read a few of these benefits? There are many more but my fingers are running out of steam here. If horniness is dampened from the business of life, then health benefits alone are a good reason to have more sex. Usually, if one allows themselves to start...the deisre will come. It doesn't have to be there at first for us to still end up having a great time.

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by PPC View Post
    OP, does your wife know of some of the health benefits of sex and semen itself? The vaginal walls are one of the most absorbent areas of a female body and semen gives women a shot of incredible goodies that are absorbed directly into the blood stream. Sex is a perfect give and take because we really need what our mates have to offer health wise via ejaculation. Semen is a health promoter and mood brightener like no other. There is also evidence a woman can recieve these benefits via oral too.

    Your ejaculation is loaded with zinc, which helps to build your wive's immune system. It has high amounts of vitamin C and B12 which nourish her adrenal glands and promote better energy and ability to fight disease. It contains three major cancer fighting agents. The first two are selenium and glyco proteins. The third is TGR beta (transforming growth factor beta), a molecule that can increase the number and activity of 'natural killer' cells in her body. These killer cells recoginze and fight cells that promote tumors.

    A study at the STate University of New York suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant for women. The study showed that women who had sex without condoms, had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex. Semen also has nutrients to plump skin and strengthen hair.

    But it's not just semen. The act of sex itself in women releases small amounts of HGH to increase lean muscle, prevent skin sagging and promote energy. Here's the biggie, sex gives women a five fold elevated release of oxytocin. That hormone promotes bonding with you, it fights stress, depression and anxiety. Studies looking at the benefits of oxytocin report that it reduces 'neurotic tendencies.'

    Another benefit of sex for females. It releases more healthy estrogen to plump up the vagina and tone fights incontinence and vaginal dryness. Women who have dry vaginas should actually have more sex. More sex triggers more estrogen which also has been studied to increase feelings of 'flirtiness' in females. Long dry spells can actually lower desire in women while more frequent sex generally raises desire by promoting more positive feedback loops with estrogen and oxytocin.

    Would your wife read a few of these benefits? There are many more but my fingers are running out of steam here. If horniness is dampened from the business of life, then health benefits alone are a good reason to have more sex. Usually, if one allows themselves to start...the deisre will come. It doesn't have to be there at first for us to still end up having a great time.
    beautiful

  38. #38
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    SHE'S BACK!!! PPC!!! Please come around more often!
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    Quote Originally Posted by PPC View Post
    OP, does your wife know of some of the health benefits of sex and semen itself? The vaginal walls are one of the most absorbent areas of a female body and semen gives women a shot of incredible goodies that are absorbed directly into the blood stream. Sex is a perfect give and take because we really need what our mates have to offer health wise via ejaculation. Semen is a health promoter and mood brightener like no other. There is also evidence a woman can recieve these benefits via oral too.

    Your ejaculation is loaded with zinc, which helps to build your wive's immune system. It has high amounts of vitamin C and B12 which nourish her adrenal glands and promote better energy and ability to fight disease. It contains three major cancer fighting agents. The first two are selenium and glyco proteins. The third is TGR beta (transforming growth factor beta), a molecule that can increase the number and activity of 'natural killer' cells in her body. These killer cells recoginze and fight cells that promote tumors.

    A study at the STate University of New York suggests that semen acts as an antidepressant for women. The study showed that women who had sex without condoms, had fewer signs of depression than women who used condoms or abstained from sex. Semen also has nutrients to plump skin and strengthen hair.

    But it's not just semen. The act of sex itself in women releases small amounts of HGH to increase lean muscle, prevent skin sagging and promote energy. Here's the biggie, sex gives women a five fold elevated release of oxytocin. That hormone promotes bonding with you, it fights stress, depression and anxiety. Studies looking at the benefits of oxytocin report that it reduces 'neurotic tendencies.'

    Another benefit of sex for females. It releases more healthy estrogen to plump up the vagina and tone fights incontinence and vaginal dryness. Women who have dry vaginas should actually have more sex. More sex triggers more estrogen which also has been studied to increase feelings of 'flirtiness' in females. Long dry spells can actually lower desire in women while more frequent sex generally raises desire by promoting more positive feedback loops with estrogen and oxytocin.

    Would your wife read a few of these benefits? There are many more but my fingers are running out of steam here. If horniness is dampened from the business of life, then health benefits alone are a good reason to have more sex. Usually, if one allows themselves to start...the deisre will come. It doesn't have to be there at first for us to still end up having a great time.
    WOW! PPC will you marry me PLEASE?! LOL! i will definitely have her read this! now where did you get your info from? a scientific source would be more convincing to here. but you said some thing that has allot of validity to it, she always feels great after we have sex and she says "why do i stay away from sex for too long?!"

  40. #40
    PPC
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    SHE'S BACK!!! PPC!!! Please come around more often!
    Wow...I am loving your avi. Too cool. I may have some more time now to drop by. Good to see you again too.

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