emotional mofo rite now

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 04:39 PM

I understand you are all on trt for a reason, but do you guys ever feel like ,"damn this is a hard way of living" or "damn why did this happen to me" kind of feelings? Iv been boxing for a few years now and I had taken aas in the past for the reason of just being better..which I will regret the rest of my life

well my levels are low as shit 203 and 215ng/d and will need trt if this clomid doesn't work out in my favor..I've been non stop mentally tripping literally.. getting real upset over this.. feeling close to suicide really..I feel that I have wasted my whole future, my dreams, my goals. I'm only 20, and these mistakes I made at 17 and 18 are fuking with my head..

Has anyone been through this state of mind? Does trt make these feelings go away? Is this how you guys felt before trt as well? Do people feel like this anyway, at a certain age in there life? Is trt as bad as it seems in younger guys?

Thanks

**ironbeck** · 06-03-2013, 04:43 PM

only 20....lol, sounds like your e2 lvs r spiking

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 04:59 PM

I mean if it was funny, I'd be laughing to bub..and my e2 is low as shit..too low.
U obviously haven't had low t levels before

**powerlifterty16** · 06-03-2013, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I mean if it was funny, I'd be laughing to bub..and my e2 is low as shit..too low.
U obviously haven't had low t levels before

my e is 9 lol

**xcraider37** · 06-03-2013, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I mean if it was funny, I'd be laughing to bub..and my e2 is low as shit..too low.
U obviously haven't had low t levels before

Dude we have had low t but many of us are 40 and above and realize trt is a better way of life, is it a hassle yes. Unfortunately you have made some bad choices, be patient, maybe go see a good doctor and hopefully you can recover and not think about trt until you get in your 40s.

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 05:06 PM

Its like too high makes you feel like shit..and too low makes you feel like shit as well..sawdy..

**xcraider37** · 06-03-2013, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

Its like too high makes you feel like shit..and too low makes you feel like shit as well..sawdy..

All about balance, as many will tell you more is not always better.

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 05:13 PM

Originally Posted by xcraider37

Dude we have had low t but many of us are 40 and above and realize trt is a better way of life, is it a hassle yes. Unfortunately you have made some bad choices, be patient, maybe go see a good doctor and hopefully you can recover and not think about trt until you get in your 40s.

I feel you on that..don't u ever worry that one day shit might hit the fan and you won't really be able to defend yourself ? Without your juice that is..do u think you could even survive

**ironbeck** · 06-03-2013, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I mean if it was funny, I'd be laughing to bub..and my e2 is low as shit..too low.
U obviously haven't had low t levels before

Yes obviously I have no clue what I'm talking about u smart ass 20 yr old....good luck with that attitude bubb, what u need is some psych meds and a good psychologist.

**powerlifterty16** · 06-03-2013, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I feel you on that..don't u ever worry that one day shit might hit the fan and you won't really be able to defend yourself ? Without your juice that is..do u think you could even survive

i fear i wont be able to afford trt later on and ill be ****ed.

**MuscleInk** · 06-03-2013, 06:45 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I feel you on that..don't u ever worry that one day shit might hit the fan and you won't really be able to defend yourself ? Without your juice that is..do u think you could even survive

This is precisely why we advise young guys to avoid anabolics until they are closer to 25. Does cycling before 25 mean you'll be on TRT for life? No, but it also doesn't guarantee you won't be. That is why we recommend they wait.

Yes, we understand some guys do have low T at an early age, but there are many who claim low T to get access to TRT.

Yes, TRT is a slight inconvenience but far less inconvenient than having suppressed T levels for life with no treatment option.

**ZenFitness** · 06-03-2013, 07:00 PM

LeftHook when my hormones were out of balance when I was low T before I started TRT I was off the chain emotionally. Just saying that may explain why you feel like you do. Take a deep breath bro - you may be able to get it fixed, you may be on TRT, but, either way, you'll have just as happy a life as if you weren't on TRT. I know it's hard to see right now if you are feeling emotional... be patient man, you'll get there. You're also not the only 20 year old in your shoes I'm sure.

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by MuscleInk

This is precisely why we advise young guys to avoid anabolics until they are closer to 25. Does cycling before 25 mean you'll be on TRT for life? No, but it also doesn't guarantee you won't be. That is why we recommend they wait.

Yes, we understand some guys do have low T at an early age, but there are many who claim low T to get access to TRT.

Yes, TRT is a slight inconvenience but far less inconvenient than having suppressed T levels for life with no treatment option.

I know man..at 17 I wouldn't of listened to you even if i knew the bad side effects from doing them at that age..I just heard it would make my punches faster and my kicks harder..which it did but damn do I REGRET this so much I can't even explain.. but say you can't afford trt anymore, would you just feel the way u did before hand or worse?

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by ZenFitness

LeftHook when my hormones were out of balance when I was low T before I started TRT I was off the chain emotionally. Just saying that may explain why you feel like you do. Take a deep breath bro - you may be able to get it fixed, you may be on TRT, but, either way, you'll have just as happy a life as if you weren't on TRT. I know it's hard to see right now if you are feeling emotional... be patient man, you'll get there. You're also not the only 20 year old in your shoes I'm sure.

Rite on man, its like why the hell do I feel suicidal and real uneasy..the only thing that keepse sane is coming to these forums and discussing it with you guys and other people that are in my shoes..I havnt read ANY successful PCT's that have fixed low test from roids at a young age..its real discouraging..

**MuscleInk** · 06-03-2013, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I know man..at 17 I wouldn't of listened to you even if i knew the bad side effects from doing them at that age..I just heard it would make my punches faster and my kicks harder..which it did but damn do I REGRET this so much I can't even explain.. but say you can't afford trt anymore, would you just feel the way u did before hand or worse?

It's very likely you'd feel worse but that may depend on several factors (age, length of AAS use, extent of potential damage to HTPA, etc.)

I can tell you from experience, last year when my PSA shot up, I discontinued ALL gear for 8 weeks to recheck my PSA. At the end of 8 wks my PSA was 1.3, but my natty test which was only 182 before TRT (and I had never touched anabolics before that point), now only reached 72 ng/dl. Believe you me, when it gets that low, you become apathetic and/or very depressed and lethargic all the time.

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by MuscleInk

It's very likely you'd feel worse but that may depend on several factors (age, length of AAS use, extent of potential damage to HTPA, etc.)

I can tell you from experience, last year when my PSA shot up, I discontinued ALL gear for 8 weeks to recheck my PSA. At the end of 8 wks my PSA was 1.3, but my natty test which was only 182 before TRT (and I had never touched anabolics before that point), now only reached 72 ng/dl. Believe you me, when it gets that low, you become apathetic and/or very depressed and lethargic all the time.

Have you ever seen anyone recover or have a successful protocol? Including hcg , clomid, lectro or Nova?. I'm on clomid 25 mg EOD rite now..do u think my Endo has the rite idea? Or is hcg a must?

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:29 PM

Or any other type of protocol combinations

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by ironbeck

Yes obviously I have no clue what I'm talking about u smart ass 20 yr old....good luck with that attitude bubb, what u need is some psych meds and a good psychologist.

Thanks for all ur advice and knowledge bub, your a cool cat

...*sarcasm*

**HRTstudent** · 06-03-2013, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I understand you are all on trt for a reason, but do you guys ever feel like ,"damn this is a hard way of living" or "damn why did this happen to me" kind of feelings? Iv been boxing for a few years now and I had taken aas in the past for the reason of just being better..which I will regret the rest of my life

well my levels are low as shit 203 and 215ng/d and will need trt if this clomid doesn't work out in my favor..I've been non stop mentally tripping literally.. getting real upset over this.. feeling close to suicide really..I feel that I have wasted my whole future, my dreams, my goals. I'm only 20, and these mistakes I made at 17 and 18 are fuking with my head..

Has anyone been through this state of mind? Does trt make these feelings go away? Is this how you guys felt before trt as well? Do people feel like this anyway, at a certain age in there life? Is trt as bad as it seems in younger guys?

Thanks

you need to see a therapist first of all.

secondly, low testosterone is almost assuredly just a part of your problem. depression is a complex thing, with far more than just testosterone being a factor.

I can't stress talking to a professional in person enough, and as soon as possible.

**LeftHook** · 06-03-2013, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by HRTstudent

you need to see a therapist first of all.

secondly, low testosterone is almost assuredly just a part of your problem. depression is a complex thing, with far more than just testosterone being a factor.

I can't stress talking to a professional in person enough, and as soon as possible.

I honestly don't think that a psychiatrist could help me man.. that's money that needs to be saved..what could they possibly do to help me

**flyrs** · 06-03-2013, 08:51 PM

Clomid is sometimes known for having some emotional sides...wonder if nolvadex would be better for you....

**human project** · 06-03-2013, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I understand you are all on trt for a reason, but do you guys ever feel like ,"damn this is a hard way of living" or "damn why did this happen to me" kind of feelings? Iv been boxing for a few years now and I had taken aas in the past for the reason of just being better..which I will regret the rest of my life

well my levels are low as shit 203 and 215ng/d and will need trt if this clomid doesn't work out in my favor..I've been non stop mentally tripping literally.. getting real upset over this.. feeling close to suicide really..I feel that I have wasted my whole future, my dreams, my goals. I'm only 20, and these mistakes I made at 17 and 18 are fuking with my head..

Has anyone been through this state of mind? Does trt make these feelings go away? Is this how you guys felt before trt as well? Do people feel like this anyway, at a certain age in there life? Is trt as bad as it seems in younger guys?

Thanks

Clomid is terrible for me too bud...
Get off that stuff trust me

**powerlifterty16** · 06-03-2013, 11:29 PM

my doc prescribed hcg . i asked him about clomid, but he didnt want to give me it..tbh im glad, i wont touch clomid or nolva..scary drugs.

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 09:29 AM

I asked if hcg would help me in my situation, but he told me it will just make me worse than I am now.and just gave me clomid..has anyone heard of that? Or should I still try?

I heard HCG will cause an increase in endogenous testosterone levels which feeds the negative feedback loop which would suppress LH/FSH.

Should I still try if the clomid don't work? If anyone knows help me out

**flyrs** · 06-04-2013, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

I asked if hcg would help me in my situation, but he told me it will just make me worse than I am now.and just gave me clomid..has anyone heard of that? Or should I still try?

I heard HCG will cause an increase in endogenous testosterone levels which feeds the negative feedback loop which would suppress LH/FSH.

Should I still try if the clomid don't work? If anyone knows help me out

Hey powerlifter, didn't LowT Mike discuss this with you in another thread....something about even though there is a negative feedback loop with HCG monotherapy it still works and it's really what powerlifter is hoping for.....

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by flyrs

Hey powerlifter, didn't LowT Mike discuss this with you in another thread....something about even though there is a negative feedback loop with HCG monotherapy it still works and it's really what powerlifter is hoping for.....

Cuz I mean, even if it was to have a negative feedback loop..I couldn't really get much worse than I already am..

**100%** · 06-04-2013, 02:13 PM

Typically you would start with hcg to awaken your testes then take clomid or nolva to simulate pituty to produce lh/fsh. That is why most pct are set up that way.

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by 100%

Typically you would start with hcg to awaken your testes then take clomid or nolva to simulate pituty to produce lh/fsh. That is why most pct are set up that way.

That was my thought processes too..until my endo said it would not work..

So I am just listening to the doc at the moment.. he seems super inexperienced with hcg

**powerlifterty16** · 06-04-2013, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by flyrs

Hey powerlifter, didn't LowT Mike discuss this with you in another thread....something about even though there is a negative feedback loop with HCG monotherapy it still works and it's really what powerlifter is hoping for.....

mike said this to me

The dosage of HCG you are doing shouldnt affect E2 at all. HCG 6 weeks is good. Even though we are just mimicing LH. Think of it like jumpstarting a motorcycle. Rolling a bike in neutral then kicking into first starts the engine when the battery is dead. Same thing. Kick testicles in with mimicing LH then the negative feedback loop of the HPTA will fire up considering everything is working properly. If it dosent then you have something else going on. MRI of pituitary, have you abused opiods, pain killers? even using on the weekends for a little while can wreck havoc on the HPTA. Any blunt trauma to head or testicles? These are things that I would start chasing down if 6 weeks of HCG dosent return your levels to normal. Talk with your doctor about these.

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 10:03 PM

I mean 4 years of varsity football..voted hardest hitting player in Ohio in 2012 by the plain dealer so u could say i was cracking heads all the damn time , and i did get my damn nuts hit a couple times but never kmee dropping pain but I only had like 3 concussion tho the whole time I played ball..and yea I did the cycles of roids at 17 and 19 plus took 3 vicodin 750mg for probly a year in a half..so I guess you could say I was addicted..and I smoked weed prolly every day of my damn life since 17.

So I mean damn, I don't know if it was only the roids..but I feel like the roids are the culprit to my severe low levels..the others just didn't help the problem..and I asked if I need to get a MRI but my endo said my levels didn't show signs of a tumor..so I think I'm gonna just find a new doc

**powerlifterty16** · 06-04-2013, 10:12 PM

your levels arnt health related it's from your own stupidity of doing roids imo. m actually surprised you are a boxer since you're whining alot(not saying idont whine, but im not a boxer :P)

the past is the past just focus on the future. people have worse situations than you dont feel bad. lots of guys neveer smoke, never drink, and never do roids, yet have low t at younger ages.

**powerlifterty16** · 06-04-2013, 10:13 PM

me

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 10:35 PM

Lol its not whining , its mind ****ing me..straight through my damn ear. But it is what it is, can't learn from mistakes without making them..

**LeftHook** · 06-04-2013, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by powerlifterty16

me

Lol And don't act like you never partied before

**powerlifterty16** · 06-04-2013, 11:00 PM

honestly ive never done drugs, or drank before..im boring

**powerlifterty16** · 06-04-2013, 11:03 PM

in hs i was kind of shy, and due to that i never partied or lost my virginity...especially since i commuted to college, which never left much opportunity for parties.

**LeftHook** · 06-05-2013, 03:51 AM

Originally Posted by powerlifterty16

in hs i was kind of shy, and due to that i never partied or lost my virginity...especially since i commuted to college, which never left much opportunity for parties.

^^^Damn and you still had low testosterone ? Now that is unfortunate bro..way to make me feel like a douche ha, hope u recover

**100%** · 06-05-2013, 05:15 AM

Originally Posted by LeftHook

Have you ever seen anyone recover or have a successful protocol? Including hcg , clomid, lectro or Nova?. I'm on clomid 25 mg EOD rite now..do u think my Endo has the rite idea? Or is hcg a must?

Print off the attached pdf and ask you doctor what he plans to accomplish by putting you on a dose 4 times less then standard stimulation test? Have you been honest with him about your past drug abuse it is important so he know what he is dealing with.

**Facecrash** · 06-05-2013, 05:42 AM

Lefthook, I did clomid/HCG last summer. After 2 weeks I was an emotional mess. i was also feeling depressed and acting like a little bitch. I stopped the clomid and those sides went away almost overnight. I recommend you stop the clomid and see another doc that knows what he is doing

**VTX1800** · 06-05-2013, 06:10 AM

I take clomid daily with my TRT protocol and I experience no emotional sides what so ever. My doc prescribed it because I'm 30 and fertility is important so along with hcg and clomid I've kept my boy working and producing sperm like they should!
Your still young bro, chances are you can restart and hopefully stay away from aas. It will take time that's a fact just be patient and keep doing what makes you happy, fighting depression is a hard battle and only those who have encountered the depression demon before can relate to how you feel. If you are unsuccessful with a restart then go all in, start your TRT but know you will be pinning for 60plus more years.(hopefully) it's better than the alternative??? I really think getting your T levels up will destroy your depression and emotional roller coaster. Good luck man