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Thread: my ass

  1. #41
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    edit this is old my bad

  2. #42
    Kale is offline ~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
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    Jesus what a thread, I have this prob as well but its because I got a hairy ass and I have hemorrhoids. A lethal combination. I dont have skid marks I have fvcking truck tire marks sometimes, its disgusting. All I can suggest is waxing your ass and the baby wipes sounds positive as well. I actually have pics and a DVD of my ass internal and external if anyone is interested. I had a colonoscopy done here in Singapore and the dirt bags filmed the whole thing in living color and presented me with the DVD when I woke up. I called it "Kale, The Inside Story "

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    Jesus what a thread, I have this prob as well but its because I got a hairy ass and I have hemorrhoids. A lethal combination. I dont have skid marks I have fvcking truck tire marks sometimes, its disgusting. All I can suggest is waxing your ass and the baby wipes sounds positive as well. I actually have pics and a DVD of my ass internal and external if anyone is interested. I had a colonoscopy done here in Singapore and the dirt bags filmed the whole thing in living color and presented me with the DVD when I woke up. I called it "Kale, The Inside Story "

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    Jesus what a thread, I have this prob as well but its because I got a hairy ass and I have hemorrhoids. A lethal combination. I dont have skid marks I have fvcking truck tire marks sometimes, its disgusting. All I can suggest is waxing your ass and the baby wipes sounds positive as well. I actually have pics and a DVD of my ass internal and external if anyone is interested. I had a colonoscopy done here in Singapore and the dirt bags filmed the whole thing in living color and presented me with the DVD when I woke up. I called it "Kale, The Inside Story "
    ahhhhhh hahahaha


    the wipes work just so you all know

    12

  5. #45
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    ^^^^your welcome BTW^^^^your girl hasnt called me since

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    I actually have pics and a DVD of my ass internal and external if anyone is interested. I had a colonoscopy done here in Singapore and the dirt bags filmed the whole thing in living color and presented me with the DVD when I woke up. I called it "Kale, The Inside Story "
    Are you serious the gave you DVD?

  7. #47
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    I wish this thread would just die...









    bump!

  8. #48
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    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..............Oh that was funny I just stopped lau***ng.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    Jesus what a thread, I have this prob as well but its because I got a hairy ass and I have hemorrhoids. A lethal combination. I dont have skid marks I have fvcking truck tire marks sometimes, its disgusting.
    Important advice:

    I used to get skid marks all the time when I was younger.
    I don't know how people wipe their ass.... But after I started wiping it from the front of the body I didn't get em anymore. Basically reach for the hole by reaching underneath the sack, and then just wipe the hole. You have to be still sitting down to do this.
    If you wipe from behind, you're just spreading your shit along your ass crack....not nice.

    (can't believe I wrote that, but it's important info that no one ever dishes out)

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by nameuser View Post
    Important advice:

    I used to get skid marks all the time when I was younger.
    I don't know how people wipe their ass.... But after I started wiping it from the front of the body I didn't get em anymore. Basically reach for the hole by reaching underneath the sack, and then just wipe the hole. You have to be still sitting down to do this.
    If you wipe from behind, you're just spreading your shit along your ass crack....not nice.

    (can't believe I wrote that, but it's important info that no one ever dishes out)
    thankyou for providing us with this insight. LOL

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by nameuser View Post
    Important advice:

    I used to get skid marks all the time when I was younger.
    I don't know how people wipe their ass.... But after I started wiping it from the front of the body I didn't get em anymore. Basically reach for the hole by reaching underneath the sack, and then just wipe the hole. You have to be still sitting down to do this.
    If you wipe from behind, you're just spreading your shit along your ass crack....not nice.

    (can't believe I wrote that, but it's important info that no one ever dishes out)
    Doest work for me, I hit it from all directions but my ass hole looks like the Rocky Mountains so getting the shit out of the valleys is almost impossible

  12. #52
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    Kale if your in thailand or youve been around there then you know the drill there when it comes to cleaning your behind, they have these high pressure hoses in toilets and they do wonders, yes at first we all think thats nasty but man i do it in two steps, i first wipe with toilet paper a few times to make sure all larger bits and smudges are removed, then i hose it down with the high pressure hose to give it that fresh clean.

    Usually i just hold my natures call (number two) until i need a shower after the gym or first thing in the morning after a long sleep in, that way i take a dump and then do the toilet-paper and pressure hose drills, then i jump in the shower and wash my behind with soap and water for that armour-all shiny finish!

    Also i shave my pubic hair and sack every two months or so and i also make the effort to quickly cover the crack area too , this way its much easier to clean.


    In the case of the thread starter number 12, if its that frequent man that you feel soiled then man maybe its not the poop, maybe there is some other discharge or skin problem or start of a hemmaroid or a fissure or about a hundred possible things that could go wrong in that area which you should see a doctor about, its embarassing but ask yourself would you rather suffer from it and it gets worse with time? or go see the doc and solve it once?

    Its just like going to the STD clinic man, embarassing but it puts and end to thhe doubt of wether the burning sensation was from that $22 dollar hooker behind the Texaco , or was it from the time you experimented masturbating with bleach?

  13. #53
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    errr wash ur arse after takin a shit!
    The IAS (as ottomaddox put it lol) could be an elergic reaction to the undies u wear from when u sweat...or could be the shit streak u left frm when u tuk a crap maybe?!

    But still WUA after dumpin 'whipe an dash' is naasty!

    i think im guna puke i just had a protein shake while readin the comments!

  14. #54
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    Wipe with toilet paper, then a paper wipe. Then try your put with the toilet paper and before you pull your pants up, take about a foot of toilet paper, fold it up and stick it between your butt cheeks (so that it covers your asshole).

    This will stop any leakage from ever happening.

  15. #55
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    shaving only makes it worse for me.... it makes it sweat so bad i have to maintenance wipe constantly

  16. #56
    cam89 is offline Junior Member
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    This is one sick thread..

  17. #57
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    This is too much shit to handle.

  18. #58
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    i havent laughed so much in ages i was in stitches

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by number twelve View Post
    arite this is a serious thread try to save the jokes for after i get a decent response...basically long story short, an hour after i shit, i need to rewipe my ass.
    if i shit and then go to the gym, i need to rewipe my ass midworkout.
    if i shit and take a shower, i still need to rewipe.
    i try to wipe as best as possible after i go to the bathroom. but still i need to rewipe an hour later...whats the deal? anyone have this experience? i dont have skid marks or anything liek that, my ass just feels itchy.

    HELP!


    12
    Put a little lotion on your T.P. and wipe. This cures the itch. You could also use the special kind of lotion T.P. if you can find it. or buy baby wipes with lotion.

  20. #60
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    damn bro ive been out the loop hows it going

    one funny ass thread tho. i use to get like butt sweat when i shaved the rear and would get mad weggies, majorly sucks

  21. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by DemonInside View Post
    damn bro ive been out the loop hows it going

    one funny ass thread tho. i use to get like butt sweat when i shaved the rear and would get mad weggies, majorly sucks
    hat's shakin' man. i just got back in the loop myself.

  22. #62
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    I'll agree w/babywipes.

  23. #63
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    I think I saw some nasty chicks on the internet that might help you clean yourself, but they may charge you a lot of money.
    For now, get some preparation H or something that will numb your butt a little while it is still raw. That stuff is for hemorrhoids but will probably make you feel better.
    Good luck.

  24. #64
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    So Like, What Happens When You Gotta Fart????? Roflmao!!!!!!!!!

  25. #65
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    crazy thread but good to know i guess

  26. #66
    KatsMeow is offline Stupid
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    wow...hmmm well if nothing is leaking and it just itches try some baby powder, it's probably sweat or something that is making you feel like you need to wipe. The baby powder or gold bond will dry things up for you a little. I hope that helps

  27. #67
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    Sorry I know this is an old thread but I think I have a solution. Wear a tampon up your ass?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails my ass-tampons.jpg  

  28. #68
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    Its only ass sweat/anal leakage. I get it from time to time.

    Dont let it worry you, remember, shit happens.

  29. #69
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    hahahaha

  30. #70
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    hahahahahaahaha this thread made me shyt lol..... nah but i had special water hose installed by the toilet so i can pressure wash my ass after i wipe with T.P.

  31. #71
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    round here we call it "swamp ass" and the babywipes really do help. Buy'um in bulk at costco

  32. #72
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    poor #12 hes never going to live this thread down LOL!!! people keep bumping it. how is the ol arse anyways 12? I forgot to check it the other day when we worked out...oh and Im missing a pack of baby wipes, know anything??

  33. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    Jesus what a thread, I have this prob as well but its because I got a hairy ass and I have hemorrhoids. A lethal combination. I dont have skid marks I have fvcking truck tire marks sometimes, its disgusting. All I can suggest is waxing your ass and the baby wipes sounds positive as well. I actually have pics and a DVD of my ass internal and external if anyone is interested. I had a colonoscopy done here in Singapore and the dirt bags filmed the whole thing in living color and presented me with the DVD when I woke up. I called it "Kale, The Inside Story "
    LOL!!

  34. #74
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    oh and yeah and number 12, get some babywhipes. something with an ambient after scent, like "summer breeze". ya filthy ****.

  35. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by nameuser View Post
    Important advice:

    I used to get skid marks all the time when I was younger.
    I don't know how people wipe their ass.... But after I started wiping it from the front of the body I didn't get em anymore. Basically reach for the hole by reaching underneath the sack, and then just wipe the hole. You have to be still sitting down to do this.
    If you wipe from behind, you're just spreading your shit along your ass crack....not nice.

    (can't believe I wrote that, but it's important info that no one ever dishes out)
    and you guys drive on the wrong side of the road

  36. #76
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    BITTAPART2

    "I so I wipe with regular TP then do some laps with the wipes until thine anus is clean as a whistle."

    I spat water alover my keyboard when I read that !!!

  37. #77
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    lol this is great

  38. #78
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    Corn starch stops the itch...

  39. #79
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    I actually read that when consuming protein shakes a day that any protein that is not used will form around that area and cause itchiness
    Guy Grundy the body builder said it somewhere??? Can't find the course not to quote it

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