MAJOR DE PRESSION and need HELP! ANYONE that can read and "GET" this would b HUGE!

[JuicDinNY]

Sorry not sure if I'm posting this in the correct spot but this is a HUGE SERIOUS post and hope someone can assist!!!!
Here goes Nothing:...............

I have been battling Depression for over a year now with AD HD as well and just HAD to get off my AD HD me ds.

The Depression has almost enveloped my life. All i do is work and come home in a crappy mood and even thought I am EXHAUSTED, I dont sleep until like 3am or 4am with me ds. It is a VICIOUS cycle!

I am going to all sorts of doctors and trying to get this under control however I cant! I have felt like a damn guniea pig on almost every single depression me dication known to man and nothing works. Starting to lose hope in the damn me dciine world.

On top of the Depress ion, Insomnia and A dhd, I have bad Endocrine issues as well. I am 27 years old and from bad abuse of ana bolics in the past, I have been to about 10 different endo's and EVERYONE is CLUELESS. MY levels are horrendous. I am currently on HRT with a low dose of Te st C yp once every 10 days and Syn throid for my Thyroid which was never an issue until about a year ago(go figure).

I have been in and out of depression and mood has been severely up and down for a while now. Thinking all the m eds have something to do with it. Synt hroid, Ad derall, Anti Anxiety m eds, Depression m eds and different S SRIs, Muscle Relaxers(all stemming from a horrific head on collission accident at high speeds which messed up my career, and all the hobbies and sports i used to love doing and now really cant do to the fullest.

My Social Life has almost become non existent due to all of this exploding into a boiling pot of s*it. Wishing there was ONE amazing doctor anywhere in the country(US) who could help me and say "oh geez no doctor ever looked at this or this or tested for this that and the third, or ever did this or that with you" and laughs out loud and tells me i'll be fixed in no time, but thats just not reality and im starting to see this!!!!!

All the Doctors so far in New York where I live are money hungry and couldnt give 2 sh*ts about me and just wanna push pi lls to me and use me as a trial and error animal. Have the BEST insurance money can buy but with all these visits and different doctors, I'm literally paying THOUSANDSSSSSS of dollars out of pocket in co pay and pre criptions and its getting out of hand.

All I want to do is feel like I have a tiny bit of energy to get out of bed and live my life. Dont get me wrong I am not only getting thru at my job now, but ranking in top 3 in the entire country and very proud of that but its all after using all different stimu lants like coffee and energy pills and A DHD m eds, etc to get me though the day just to crash and do the same thing tomrorow. I WISHHHHHHHH I could just wake up ONEEEE morning and feel energetic or able to get out of my bed without hitting SNOOZE literally TEN times and forcing myself to roll out of my bed at sometimes even 2pm and getting to work looking like a cr ackhead with blood red eyes and exhausted.

LITERALLY PRAYINGGGGGGGGGG someone reads this and says OMG I can lead this kid in the right direction. He really wants to change and help himself and not only his life but his families life that he has LITERALLY made a living h ell.

I have not been able to consistency hold a relationship or love life successfully for more than a year or two and now that i look back at it, its all my ups and downs and insecurities that is pushing everyone away and its horrible because NOW i understand why they did what they did. My life is controlled by me dications and I am slowly battling it by cutting more and more out and battling this uphill battle in hopes that I CAN and WILL get my REAL body, mind and energy back so I can make other people happy as well as myself and most of all show my FAMILY, the ONLY people who have been there for my consistently since day one, most of all my parents, and show them I really do want to change and love them just as much as they've loved me throughout all these years but all they have seen is someone who they know loves them with all their heart but CANNOT show emotion to say "hey mom hey dad just wanted to say I love you and appreciate all you've done for me".

I'm rambling on, but it feels great to vent on here and pray to GOD someones been here and experienced the same stuff or maybe something close to it. I'm guessing my non existent L H levels, F SH levels, up and down te st osterone levels, up and down est rogen levels, thyroid issues, inso mnia and sleep issues, p ain issues, ad hd issues, skin(an ce) issues for 10 years now, 2 gyne comastia surgeries so far in 5 years, severe car accident causing major anxiety issues, gastrointe stinal issues due to all the m eds im on, and the SEVERE depr ession its led me to sink into the past few years WORST than ever since I've been out of the gym.

I forgot that part, I have not consistently been in the gym training at all lately. All I used to do was train non stop sometimes even twice a day and was in the sickest shape of my life and now im slowly getting into the orst shape ever and I'm being a cop out and blaming it on my depression and mental and physical state of mind.

Worst of all I want to become the social beast I once was lol. I want to be there for my best friends, I want to be able to be the 27 year old good looking male I know I am and get my confidence back and meet all different types of people and more than anything else, get back to normal and let my mom and dad see me genuinely smile! It may sound corny but my mom and dad are my best friends in the world and would give the shirts off their back to give to ANYONE especially me and have done so through my rough times. I pray every single day and night for myself to get some resolve so I can get and gain the BEST relationship with them which I have been DYING to do but have been held at a crappy roadblock due to all the above mentioned stuff I'm dealing with. Its almost like a weird imaginary wall that is up that I can write novels about how much I love them and care for them etc etc etc and then when I am face to face with them, I am a miserable, attitude-wielding, P.O.S. that noone can stand and noone would wanna be around and I don't blame them for making me get some help.

Have been thinking about writing a book about half the crap I've been through and I';m almost positive it would be a best seller and this is only 1/20000th of the stuff I've dealt with all within a short 27 years on earth. I am a normal new york guy living the fast paced life and sometimes put into some stupid positions and make stupid decisions that i wouldn't normally make when I'm in my "new york state of mind". If your from here you know what im saying if not, its hard to explain.

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO much for taking the time to read this and if nothing else, this helped me vent like crazyyyyyyyy and ANYONE who reads this and says "wow holy crap I can help this kid there really is help for him and i know a ton of people who have been here and beat this and i know how to do so" I would LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to hear from you and would pay a trillion dollars for some resolve and relief.

Thank you again and look forward greatly to hearing back from anyone and everyone! You guys are amazing so far thank you very much!!!!!!

Greg aka JuicDinNY

[Ockymofo]

Sorry not sure if I'm posting this in the correct spot but this is a HUGE SERIOUS post and hope someone can assist!!!!
Here goes Nothing:...............

I have been battling Depression for over a year now with AD HD as well and just HAD to get off my AD HD me ds.

The Depression has almost enveloped my life. All i do is work and come home in a crappy mood and even thought I am EXHAUSTED, I dont sleep until like 3am or 4am with me ds. It is a VICIOUS cycle!

I am going to all sorts of doctors and trying to get this under control however I cant! I have felt like a damn guniea pig on almost every single depression me dication known to man and nothing works. Starting to lose hope in the damn me dciine world.

On top of the Depress ion, Insomnia and A dhd, I have bad Endocrine issues as well. I am 27 years old and from bad abuse of ana bolics in the past, I have been to about 10 different endo's and EVERYONE is CLUELESS. MY levels are horrendous. I am currently on HRT with a low dose of Te st C yp once every 10 days and Syn throid for my Thyroid which was never an issue until about a year ago(go figure).

I have been in and out of depression and mood has been severely up and down for a while now. Thinking all the m eds have something to do with it. Synt hroid, Ad derall, Anti Anxiety m eds, Depression m eds and different S SRIs, Muscle Relaxers(all stemming from a horrific head on collission accident at high speeds which messed up my career, and all the hobbies and sports i used to love doing and now really cant do to the fullest.

My Social Life has almost become non existent due to all of this exploding into a boiling pot of s*it. Wishing there was ONE amazing doctor anywhere in the country(US) who could help me and say "oh geez no doctor ever looked at this or this or tested for this that and the third, or ever did this or that with you" and laughs out loud and tells me i'll be fixed in no time, but thats just not reality and im starting to see this!!!!!

All the Doctors so far in New York where I live are money hungry and couldnt give 2 sh*ts about me and just wanna push pi lls to me and use me as a trial and error animal. Have the BEST insurance money can buy but with all these visits and different doctors, I'm literally paying THOUSANDSSSSSS of dollars out of pocket in co pay and pre criptions and its getting out of hand.

All I want to do is feel like I have a tiny bit of energy to get out of bed and live my life. Dont get me wrong I am not only getting thru at my job now, but ranking in top 3 in the entire country and very proud of that but its all after using all different stimu lants like coffee and energy pills and A DHD m eds, etc to get me though the day just to crash and do the same thing tomrorow. I WISHHHHHHHH I could just wake up ONEEEE morning and feel energetic or able to get out of my bed without hitting SNOOZE literally TEN times and forcing myself to roll out of my bed at sometimes even 2pm and getting to work looking like a cr ackhead with blood red eyes and exhausted.

LITERALLY PRAYINGGGGGGGGGG someone reads this and says OMG I can lead this kid in the right direction. He really wants to change and help himself and not only his life but his families life that he has LITERALLY made a living h ell.

I have not been able to consistency hold a relationship or love life successfully for more than a year or two and now that i look back at it, its all my ups and downs and insecurities that is pushing everyone away and its horrible because NOW i understand why they did what they did. My life is controlled by me dications and I am slowly battling it by cutting more and more out and battling this uphill battle in hopes that I CAN and WILL get my REAL body, mind and energy back so I can make other people happy as well as myself and most of all show my FAMILY, the ONLY people who have been there for my consistently since day one, most of all my parents, and show them I really do want to change and love them just as much as they've loved me throughout all these years but all they have seen is someone who they know loves them with all their heart but CANNOT show emotion to say "hey mom hey dad just wanted to say I love you and appreciate all you've done for me".

I'm rambling on, but it feels great to vent on here and pray to GOD someones been here and experienced the same stuff or maybe something close to it. I'm guessing my non existent L H levels, F SH levels, up and down te st osterone levels, up and down est rogen levels, thyroid issues, inso mnia and sleep issues, p ain issues, ad hd issues, skin(an ce) issues for 10 years now, 2 gyne comastia surgeries so far in 5 years, severe car accident causing major anxiety issues, gastrointe stinal issues due to all the m eds im on, and the SEVERE depr ession its led me to sink into the past few years WORST than ever since I've been out of the gym.

I forgot that part, I have not consistently been in the gym training at all lately. All I used to do was train non stop sometimes even twice a day and was in the sickest shape of my life and now im slowly getting into the orst shape ever and I'm being a cop out and blaming it on my depression and mental and physical state of mind.

Worst of all I want to become the social beast I once was lol. I want to be there for my best friends, I want to be able to be the 27 year old good looking male I know I am and get my confidence back and meet all different types of people and more than anything else, get back to normal and let my mom and dad see me genuinely smile! It may sound corny but my mom and dad are my best friends in the world and would give the shirts off their back to give to ANYONE especially me and have done so through my rough times. I pray every single day and night for myself to get some resolve so I can get and gain the BEST relationship with them which I have been DYING to do but have been held at a crappy roadblock due to all the above mentioned stuff I'm dealing with. Its almost like a weird imaginary wall that is up that I can write novels about how much I love them and care for them etc etc etc and then when I am face to face with them, I am a miserable, attitude-wielding, P.O.S. that noone can stand and noone would wanna be around and I don't blame them for making me get some help.

Have been thinking about writing a book about half the crap I've been through and I';m almost positive it would be a best seller and this is only 1/20000th of the stuff I've dealt with all within a short 27 years on earth. I am a normal new york guy living the fast paced life and sometimes put into some stupid positions and make stupid decisions that i wouldn't normally make when I'm in my "new york state of mind". If your from here you know what im saying if not, its hard to explain.

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO much for taking the time to read this and if nothing else, this helped me vent like crazyyyyyyyy and ANYONE who reads this and says "wow holy crap I can help this kid there really is help for him and i know a ton of people who have been here and beat this and i know how to do so" I would LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to hear from you and would pay a trillion dollars for some resolve and relief.

Thank you again and look forward greatly to hearing back from anyone and everyone! You guys are amazing so far thank you very much!!!!!!

Greg aka JuicDinNY

Get your blood levels in check (if you can), get your estrogen levels in check (if you can). See a shrink for sure. Fu*k the anti depressant pills. You appear to have a "mental illness" - with which doctors love to try and play games with.. I believe the brain is an amazingly powerful thing. One can quit hero*n, or Alcoh*l (two dru gs that you can die from withdrawals) . . I don't view your mental illness much different than anything else that the brain can't handle. Many have failed where success seemed inevitable, many have succeeded where it seemed impossible. Just decide what you want, and no matter what, go be it.

My 2 cents..

[V-ROID]

Look for a BHRT specialist in your area.
Bioidentical hormone replacement therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I am starting to think that the root of the problems for 99% of people wandering around in a prozac daze is hormone imbalance. Most doctors call in a chemical imbalance in the brain and write you script after script for prozac/zoloft/xanax type shit and most get less than stellar results. Keeps you coming back though... Gotta be a few BHRT specialists in the NY area.

[SexySweetheart]

Wow the suffering is tangible in your post.
I'm no professional and no doctor but I have fostered a lot of kids with a lot of different diagnoses including depression ADHD ,have been in the therapy And medical world for well over 10 years and am working on my BA in Phsyc. so maybe I have some information that can help A tad? But really nobody from an online site is going to do you much good... Medical information is crucial family history is crucial as well as testing and patient feedback in order to get accurate diagnoses and assistance.

agree get your hormone levels checked.

did you suffer any head trama in the collision? You may want to see a neurologist. If you had head trama have water on the brain or something else going on that could attribute to how you're feeling.

and have you been actually diagnosed with depression? If so what form of it?Or is it just your primary doctor saying you're description sounds like depression and your primary doctors are giving you meds? This could be a significant difference if you go to an actual med therapist and have actual diagnoses test done.. Like a psyche Eval or a neurological psych eval.

there are small changes you can make to your day that may have a small impact for the better...
Sleeping. remove anything stimulus from your bedroom. TV radio laptop whatever. Make your bedroom just for sleep. 1 hour before you want to go to bed grab a book lay down get comfortable have the lights dim and just relax be calm while your thoughts flow. When it is time you want to go to bed shut everything off and try to go to sleep.it will be difficult to do especially if you're wide awake but you have to start training your body's biological clock when bedtime is and how to recognize when bedtime is. This really helps a lot with my kids.

You can also try melatonin tabs. Just remember that melatonin is not a long term thing to take. It just kind of helps to reset your biological clock- it's like a kick start to help with the process.

how and when you wake also effects when you fall asleep. So for waking up I would suggest getting one of the ambien lights. They're also used for SAD therapy. I have one from Phillips. you set it for the time you want to wake up ...say 7 o'clock and 30 minutes before 7 o'clock a natural light starts to glow as if the Sun is rising and you can set different sounds -and I have birds. So the birds start very quiet and lots of space between each chirp, as it gets closer to time for you to wake up the light gets brighter and brighter the birds get louder and louder and more frequently until you wake up just naturally. It's a very different experience than just being wide awake because your alarm is screaming at you.

exercise. Exercise. Exercise. It will help release serotonin which is our bodies feel good chemical and it will also help with your sleep cycle. I know it's usually the last thing you want to do when your depressed but start out small and creepy way up to it start out with just a walk around your block when you first wake in the morning.

I have never heard or experience any form of depression that will stop a person from expressing there love or gratitude to another person. So I don't know what that's about but that sounds like something else is going on besides just the depression. With whatever else happens I would suggest you seek therapy to address why you are emotionally constipated lol

there is also the small percentage of a chance that you do have some form of major depression that can't be
managed with any popular medication right now. There are cases of people with serious depression that do actually volunteer for shock therapy and find it successful. Um there's even radio wave therapy... and other non conventional message that I can't recall right now.
the fact is not everyone is made the same and what works for the majority is not going to work for the whole. you may just be one of those people stuck with dealing daily with serious depression. this is why you need professional diagnoses and if you are depressed depression diagnosed then seek specialist in that field not only will medication probably be introduced but also to talk therapy possibly cognitive therapy will be part of this is well. although most pepole view the weekly therapy as complely (And men priprimarily) useless BUT there really is validity to the process...when you maintain it.

the best of luck to you. And I hope you have much success sooner rather than later :-)

[JuicDinNY]

I'm sorry I don't think I'm getting what your saying??? Last time I tried to stop the r x s sri, I literally went nuts. That's an effect of stopping these things suddenly. I want to know a protocol to stopping these without the effecdts!!

As for the Shrink thing, I literally cannot find a good one and then when I do, my insane work schedule conflicts with it. And yes an easy answer from the outside would be "your health is more important just take off from work when you have the appt and badda bing your good" but no its not that easy to do. I am SUCCESSFULLY running one of the highest volume vita min/suppl ement stores in the world and ALL eyes r on me from CEO-VP-EVERYONE! So its not that easy. If anyone has any recommendations lemme know plz. I heard you can have phone sessions now too!

Your saying I have a "men tal illness" but you don't know me. Am I misunderstanding because you got into talking about her oin and alcoh olism and withdr awlas etc etc what is that comparing to my life and what aspect of it???? I am just bombarded with me ds and literally have never been diag nosed with ANYTHING by ANYONE except for one AS SHOLE do ctor who is brand new and was writing me A dd sti m me ds which are rare to get here and also hooked me on ss r i's/we llbutr in which i already got off the A dd med so that hard hurdle is over.

As for my bl ood le vels, I have been getting them done for MONTHS now actually over a few years now. What lev els would you like to know???? I am on T R T so it is hard to judge what my "natu ral" leve ls are, but my current le vels and usual levels are as follows:
-Es tra diol within normal ra nge 5.00
- Te stoste rone Total(when on T R T) between 400-1200 and without exxo genous horm ones, my T le vels are single to double digits!
-L H levels are virtually non existent .0007
-F S H levels are virtually non existent .002
-T SH levels for my Th yr oid are within normal range finally. They were ovr 13.00 before being tre ated with syn throid(any recommendations for better m ed s are appreciated) and now on them on my recent t est 2 weeks ago my lev els were 5.00 perfect.

What other lev els do you think i should get tes ted. I will ABSOLUTELY get them done. My G H and I G F levels are pend ing and waiting to hear back from my en do. I will call today and get them and post them.

PS in NO PART of this post am i being a d*ck or confrontational even thought it may seem that way I just don't know how else to word it and still be direct and to the point. Thanks for your help man greatly appreciated! Like I tell everyone, Id rather hear from someone whose not a d r whose been in my shoes and fixed themselves rather than a moron do ctor whose read a book and guinea pigs me with m eds he THINKS will work in theory but had NO clue what i am going through or feeling or WHAT on earth the la b repo rts are meaning my body is going through!

Thanks dude!

PS HOW do i get past this BLOCK that the admin has me on it says im too new of a member and cannot post anything with names of the things im on or the tests im getting done or any me di cal names at all!!! How long til thats done?

[JuicDinNY]

thanks dude for your reply too! Yes I actually have done MANY dstudies on all this stuff now from A to Z literally and powerpoints etc etc. So yes Bio Ident Hrmns is EXPLODING around here and I am dying to get off this wel lbutr in B S but I need to get a good do c to do so.

The reason I'm writing all broken up words is because the system isnt letting me write anythign i want to write because i am a new member which i understand but its frustrating.

Do you really think B. I. H is the way to go????? And will they be able to get me, KNOWLEDGEABLY, off of the stuff im on now???? This is a good idea.

My En Do now is a pretty awesome guy I just started with him about 2 months ago and he has a me on a good regiment right now but its hard to ssay what is making me feel what way. In the above post to the gentleman above you, I said my current levels. He has me on the following whioch I have sat down with him and ecplained why I think the dos e is good for me and why I think it is better thah the other people have wrote me for so far:

T C yp: 1 every week either one full every monday or one half c c Monday and Friday

Sy nthr oid 112 mc g : 1 per day

Ana straz a nole: .50 mc g EOD to keep my estr a diol under control which it is doing well(as per my labs)

ONLY questions I have now, is why am breaking out SEVERELY out of nowherer on my backand shoulders and neck???????????? I know ALOTTTTTT about the break out thing too I have spent yearsssssss battling break outs and have been to the best of the best skin do ctors and am thinking of doing the Panto thenic Ac id aka B5 loading thing to shrink the pores/oil secreting glands from pouring oils onto my skin especially when sweating in this hot ny summer heat.

Any other helpful info would be awesome! thanks again buddy!

[JuicDinNY]

the best of luck to you. And I hope you have much success sooner rather than later :-)[/QUOTE]

Thank you VERY much.

Geez so many people are willing to help like ive never imagined. I am currently seeking a good psych to speak to for Cog nitive Behav ioral Therapy which I believe to be one of the most important forms and also add ictive th erapy which I have a lot of tendencies which should fit right in there.

Speaking of exe rcise, I need to get back into it! I used to do 2 a days and be in the sickest shape everr almost bodyb uilder status. 250lbs with 10%bf and now i'm like 225 lbs with prob like 30% bf which i think is an overestimate but still just shows what has occurred due to co rtisol and stress hor mone and overall stress and just lack of motivation.

Work has me crazy busy and being in the vit amin and supple ment busines, I have seen it all and become an expert in vit amins literally. I have my degree in criminal justice law enforcement and a minor in ps ych so I understand this stuff all too well.

Did YOU know that Mel atonin and stuff like 5H TP aka Hydr oxy Trypto phan are directly related to Ser otonin disorders and imbalances and long term Mel atonin use can lead to depr ession during the day and also an xiety etc etc????? Its nuts! People think all these vit amins and mine rals and sports nutri tion supple ments are so "natural and safe" but they are not lol and that's all im gonna say about my business and means to pay my bills lol......yes theyre all healthy and beneficial with no side effects and you should take them all and be a perfect human healthier than anyone whose not taking them lol TOTALLY TRUE MAN trust me lol ehhhhhhhhhhh false!

Thanks again for ALL of your help and everyone else on here I'm going to dissect this all and address it and will keep posting progress!

Does anyone know how I get to get past the point where I can post whatever i want without getting error messages saying i posted the name of a medic ation and have to re write my post cause im a newbie lol and also how to make it so when I get a reply on my post, I automatically get notified via email address?????? I thought i had it set up that way but i guess not cause i didnt know u guys responded til i checked just now!

Thanks again look forward to hearing from u all!!!

[SexySweetheart]

I'm sorry I don't think I'm getting what your saying??? Last time I tried to stop the r x s sri, I literally went nuts. That's an effect of stopping these things suddenly. I want to know a protocol to stopping these without the effecdts!!

As for the Shrink thing, I literally cannot find a good one and then when I do, my insane work schedule conflicts with it. And yes an easy answer from the outside would be "your health is more important just take off from work when you have the appt and badda bing your good" but no its not that easy to do. I am SUCCESSFULLY running one of the highest volume vita min/suppl ement stores in the world and ALL eyes r on me from CEO-VP-EVERYONE! So its not that easy. If anyone has any recommendations lemme know plz. I heard you can have phone sessions now too!

Your saying I have a "men tal illness" but you don't know me. Am I misunderstanding because you got into talking about her oin and alcoh olism and withdr awlas etc etc what is that comparing to my life and what aspect of it???? I am just bombarded with me ds and literally have never been diag nosed with ANYTHING by ANYONE except for one AS SHOLE do ctor who is brand new and was writing me A dd sti m me ds which are rare to get here and also hooked me on ss r i's/we llbutr in which i already got off the A dd med so that hard hurdle is over.

As for my bl ood le vels, I have been getting them done for MONTHS now actually over a few years now. What lev els would you like to know???? I am on T R T so it is hard to judge what my "natu ral" leve ls are, but my current le vels and usual levels are as follows:
-Es tra diol within normal ra nge 5.00
- Te stoste rone Total(when on T R T) between 400-1200 and without exxo genous horm ones, my T le vels are single to double digits!
-L H levels are virtually non existent .0007
-F S H levels are virtually non existent .002
-T SH levels for my Th yr oid are within normal range finally. They were ovr 13.00 before being tre ated with syn throid(any recommendations for better m ed s are appreciated) and now on them on my recent t est 2 weeks ago my lev els were 5.00 perfect.

What other lev els do you think i should get tes ted. I will ABSOLUTELY get them done. My G H and I G F levels are pend ing and waiting to hear back from my en do. I will call today and get them and post them.

PS in NO PART of this post am i being a d*ck or confrontational even thought it may seem that way I just don't know how else to word it and still be direct and to the point. Thanks for your help man greatly appreciated! Like I tell everyone, Id rather hear from someone whose not a d r whose been in my shoes and fixed themselves rather than a moron do ctor whose read a book and guinea pigs me with m eds he THINKS will work in theory but had NO clue what i am going through or feeling or WHAT on earth the la b repo rts are meaning my body is going through!

Thanks dude!

PS HOW do i get past this BLOCK that the admin has me on it says im too new of a member and cannot post anything with names of the things im on or the tests im getting done or any me di cal names at all!!! How long til thats done?

maybe look for therapist that do home visits? Or like you said phone vis it? Maybe even Skype sessions? And I wonder if it's possible for you too right off as a business expense a therapist coming to your office during office hours? Or maybe even pay out of pocket for that if its possible?

from my experience when the people I've cared for and residential placement or the kids I cared for on group hpmes or even hehere as foster kids are on a lot of different medications or have multiple diagnoses or multiple side effects and they still are not maintaining... they are admitted into a hospital to gradually be taken all of all medications and then diagnosed while they're at a base (which would be there normality. )B
Then they slowly reintroduce different or the same medications at different doses dosages and take it from there. This may be something you want to consider. It sounds like you have a lot of different things going on and like the steroids and antidepressants and the addictive tendencies Etc....most every job has coverage for people to seek relief rehabilitative services for mental illnesses or substance abuse issues. and try not to take the term mental illness as a derogatory term. There's just something going on with your brain chemically that's different then the populace and depending on the severity that mental illness usually.

when you do speak to a specialist I would definitely toss the notion out to them that you like to address one aspect at a time. For example maybe just focus on the depression being maintained or just focus on your hormones and side effects of being maintained for now and then once that's regulated moving on to the next aspect in maintaining that aspect. Doing it all at once Kim Reynolds really mUddle things up I think.

I wish there was an easy answer for you. God knows we all want the easy answer :-) but taking a hard steps and going through the hard motions would probably pay out for you in the long run.

[JuicDinNY]

Thanks alot. As soon as i wrote the whoole "you dont even know me but ur saying i have a me ntal illn ess" thing i was like wtf am i talking about and why am i getting "defensive" when these people r trying to help me lol and yeah me ntal illne s is correct my brain is DEFINETLY si ck right now lol and needs to get better asap haha.

If you met me youd be like comon man your not effed up but its just me knowing that i am not feeling right at all and going through it due to all these me ds. Hate the feeling and should have listened to my parents when they said stop going to SO many do ctors at one time and just goto one and have them be your primary and whatever they cant treat or regulate, they will send you to a SPECIA LIST! Instead I said wow my insu rance is amazing i dont need referalls to goto speciali sts lemme goto everyone of them in the books! lol mo ron!

But yeah I am finally getting my hor mones under control and have alot of faith in this guy so well see how this goes and i already kicked the A DH D me d which was a HUGEEE leap and i did it cold turkey and feel like im back to normal energy wise. Anything that you can think of that i could take like colombian coffee or anything to have enough energy to get thru my day????? I find myself needing like 50 cups of coffee per day to function.

Any recom mendations for energy would be awesome!

PS how do i make a new post. Lets say i wanted to make a post about en ergy supplem ents. And was trying to get info on what i could take to get me through a day energy wise whether its coffee or gua rana or whatever. Where do i go from the home page???? or can i not do it because im a "newbie". I wonder if anyone would want to sponsor me to go around the country speaking to children and teens to prevent them from doing what i did at a young age.

The amount of teens from 8th grade and up in the ny/nj area doing juice is insanity!!!!!!!! youd be shocked! I wanna help any single life i can help prevent from doing what i did to myself is a win in my book!!!!! Thanks again buddy! Have a good day and email me i would love to chat with ya and not be limited to me content like on here haha

Greg