Hey guys, First I want to apologize because I am sure that this post is brought up a ton but I wanted to give my own little background so that maybe I could get pointed in the right direction on what I need to start going in the right direction.
As of now I am 25 years old. I have been competitive in soccer(10+ years) and Olympic lifting(6+ years). I have since had a pretty rough two years which has really screwed up my directions for life and fitness. I spent a whole year studying to get into law school, get in, ****ing hate it and after a year decide to put it on hold. 50k to learn a lesson people had been trying to tell me for years. As you can guess the stress and lifestyle of law school put me back on my workouts and I began to lose what I had worked so hard to build for years. Then after law school I have spent the last 6 months trying to find a job in Houston Texas, I have probably 500 applications out and have only gotten calls back on maybe 6 of them, get to the last interview and dont get the job. I can not tell you how many times I have gotten that I am "over educated and under experienced." So this goes on for a while and my girlfriend is sticking by my side for the whole way through. I think to myself "holy shit this girl is the real deal." Well I was wrong. About a month ago she ended it. This was after about a month or two of her projecting her hatred of her own body at me saying I was fat and disgusting and not the fit guy she fell in love with. Well I started getting really motivated and getting back in the gym and eating right the whole time she is sitting there critiquing my every meal. Which was a big problem for me because I was actually hospitalized for Anorexia when I was like 13. Because of a relative that did the same thing, the ex knew of this issue I had. So having her calling me fat and disgusting and watching my meals really kind of ****ed with my head. Fitness saved my life after the whole Anorexia ordeal and I know it can do it again.
I am about 5' 11" and probably 190. I do not know my body fat % but my goal is to be a lean 185 which I think if I cut the fat would look really good for my height and build. I am not trying to bulk up. I am not necessarily trying to get stronger because I already have decent strength which I didnt lose much from all the years of Oly lifting. But I would take my strength if I can get it. I guess what I am trying to ask for is what is the best course of action to make me athletic. I want some abs for once in my life and I just want to be an all around just really fit guy again. Like be competitive in Crossfit again. I cant do a workout now without being sore for like 3 days afterward. I am so down in the dumps that I can barely make myself go to the gym with any real motivation. I know my T levels are down maybe part by age maybe part by depression. So I guess I come here begging you guys for guidance. There is not a drug in the world that has made me feel anywhere close to when someone complements my body and I havent felt that in a long time. I also will not lie to you and tell you it would bring me great joy to rub it in my ex's face when I am back at the top of the fitness ladder and hopefully very much employed. I need my confidence and mojo back. Please help me with a game plan to get there. If you need any more information I would be happy to give it to you. Thank you.
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