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Thread: Just when you thought the English couldn't get any stupider ...

  1. #1
    Beetlegeuse's Avatar
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    Just when you thought the English couldn't get any stupider ...

    British Army to Phase out Fossil Fuels to Attract Eco-Friendly Recruits

    The British Army is considering phasing out fossil-fuel-powered tanks, APCs and lorries in order to save the planet and to attract more recruits who are worried about global warming....



    Yeah, because war is so much more eco-friendly if it's waged without fossil fuels.

    Armor training areas in particular always look like moonscape because nothing fucks with mother earth quite like a 140,000-pound tracked vehicle in a hurry. So if they're serious they should trade in their treads for hovercraft.




    Yes, tankers do this shit just because they can.
    Last edited by Beetlegeuse; 09-13-2019 at 10:57 PM.
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    Obs
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    Bahahahaaaa!

    Fucking euros!

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    You really only have to follow the link to the original article to see that was only one of the arguments for this, possible, change.

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    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Do they really want tree hugging hippies fighting wars for them? To each their own I guess ...
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    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tarmyg View Post
    You really only have to follow the link to the original article to see that was only one of the arguments for this, possible, change.
    I find that to be a HUGE problem today with people who publish articles.
    1. Clickbait titles, where people don't read the article and still spread the info. The one I like the most. Cell phones are making kids grow horns out of the back of their neck from looking down so much. It was like one kid who happened to have a bone spur and a credited doctor said that's impossible in the article. But no one read it, spread the info, and other places published similar articles without even reading what the doctor said or checking with any
    2. Information given completely out of context or purposefully leaving out important information. The best example I've heard, "eating this food caused a 66% increase in cancer." When when you looked at the actual study, it was a 66% relative increase. So it was something like 0.04% chance of getting cancer to 0.06%
    3. Not even fact checking before putting out information. I like to refer to the plastic straw outrage. All the news outlets reported one number on how many straws per year were causing pollution, that number ended up coming from a middle school kid's class presentation who just made it up.
    .
    .
    But these days people attention time is worth so much money, it pays to get the info out first before fact checking, making clickbait titles, and creating a heated debates that ends up in social divide
    Last edited by HoldMyBeer; 09-14-2019 at 04:36 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tarmyg View Post
    You really only have to follow the link to the original article to see that was only one of the arguments for this, possible, change.
    Regardless of any misdirection in the headline, it speaks volumes about the British hierarchy's estimation of the "manliness" (or lack thereof) of its current crop of young men that they would seek to lure them to a profession whose mission is to kill people and break shit with their pledging to be kinder to the environment (and in the doing thwart a fictitious environmental crisis they've all been brainwashed with since birth).

    Targeting recruits whose favorite hobbies are flower gardening and writing anti-carbon dioxide haikus will lead to a predictable outcome.

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    Obs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beetlegeuse View Post
    Regardless of any misdirection in the headline, it speaks volumes about the British hierarchy's estimation of the "manliness" (or lack thereof) of its current crop of young men that they would seek to lure them to a profession whose mission is to kill people and break shit with their pledging to be kinder to the environment (and in the doing thwart a fictitious environmental crisis they've all been brainwashed with since birth).

    Targeting recruits whose favorite hobbies are flower gardening and writing anti-carbon dioxide haikus will lead to a predictable outcome.

    Lmao!

    The outcome will be similar to a bar fight between FIFA and the NFL.

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    Britain's first stab-proof kitchen knife launced in bid to combat knife crime

    The surviving members of Monty Python only WISH they could have dreamt up shit this ridiculous. These idiots want to build a Nerf world.

    I hope the Picts come streaming down from the north and stab every man-jack of 'em to death with their Sgian Dubhs.



    The Europeans and the Americans have a different etiquette for using a knife at the table because Americans retained the points on their dinner service knives. Seriously.

    European table knives lost their points at the insistence of the infamous Cardinal Richelieu. He was tired of dinner guests getting in overheated discussions over victuals and stabbing each other. Or worse, using the point of the knife to pick their teeth. So he directed his staff to grind off the points of all the table knives (effectively inventing the modern butter knife). Which made it acceptable for diners to grasp a fork in one hand and the knife in the other for the entire meal.

    But the fashion never caught on in the colonies so Americans still are supposed to put down the pointy knife except when actively cutting something on their plate (but picking the teeth remains an option).
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    Obs
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    I will never use a butter knife again.

    The euro mindset is infecting the world.
    I can't stand them. I change the channel when I hear a british accent. Spineless stand for nothings.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    Bahahahaaaa!

    Fucking euros!
    Hey hey

    Sent fra min BLA-L29 via Tapatalk

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    OMG I miss Monty Python. Hysterical.
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    Obs
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    OMG I miss Monty Python. Hysterical.
    Sick man...

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    Obs
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    Quote Originally Posted by AR's King Silabolin View Post
    Hey hey

    Sent fra min BLA-L29 via Tapatalk
    You mean... "Heeey hey hay hahy!"
    Homo

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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    You mean... "Heeey hey hay hahy!"
    Homo
    Reported admin. Bye bye. Tic toc.

    Sent fra min BLA-L29 via Tapatalk

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    Obs
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    Quote Originally Posted by AR's King Silabolin View Post
    Reported admin. Bye bye. Tic toc.

    Sent fra min BLA-L29 via Tapatalk
    I want to interview you.

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    I see nothing wrong with that comment. I'm proud to be a homo ...



    ... sapien.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    Sick man...

    In more ways than you can imagine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    OMG I miss Monty Python. Hysterical.
    The Pythons probably would have died relatively unknown on this side of "the pond" (along with other English comedy teams most Americans have never heard of, like Cook & Moore and The Goodies) if they hadn't caught the eye of Ron Devillier, the programming director of KERA-TV, the PBS affiliate in Dallas. In October of 1974 he started running MP's "Flying Circus" in a customarily dead time slot at 11 pm Sundays. He figured that even if it stunk, it wasn't going to be the cause of many complaints because that's past the bedtime of most PBS devotees.

    Except it caught on. PBS stations across the fruited plain started airing the feed from KERA.

    That was during my first term in college. I remember gathering in the lobby of the dorm every Sunday night to watch it. My college was in East Bumfuck and the only places we got over-the-air television reception from were West Bumfuck and Outer Nairobi. And the lobby was the only place in the the dorm that had cable TV, so it became the nexus for the aspiring Python fans. And the start of a movement.

    There was no Internet then so there were very few sources of information on the Pythons. And we had no idea who the hell these guys were, or why the hell they would be on PUBLIC TELEVISION, yet there they were. Bizarrely original and hysterically funny. Bonus points for occasionally showing tits and pubic hair.

    When The Holy Grail was released six months later, American soil already had been made fertile by the Flying Circus being shown on PBS. What fans they had already were hard core because they were dedicated to setting aside the time at 11 o'clock every Sunday night to watch a TV show. And come Monday morning 'at the office,' only the "cool kids" are staging impromptu re-enactments among themselves of the previous night's episode. And everyone else thinks they've lost it.

    Absent the risk taken by an obscure public TV programming director in Texas (a place not exactly noted for its trail blazing in the arts), nobody would have spent $3.50 so see a film by somebody named "Monty Python." Instead it was the biggest grossing British film of the year.


    The Python experience spoiled me. You can never anticipate a Python "punch line" because there isn't one. They deliberately avoided jokes that required a punch line for denouement. So to this day, it completely spoils a joke for me if I can anticipate the punch line even a microsecond before it's delivered. The last comedy TV show I watched from the old 'broadcast' channels was Northern Exposure. Which, like The Flying Circus, was bizarrely original and hysterically funny. And not a punch line in sight. All the rest are just too low-brow.

    My one-horse town (which only has one cinema, although it now has three screens) never showed The Holy Grail. And the only place the mid-sized metropolitan area I live nearest ever showed it was a midnight showing at a cinema in a shady neighborhood that sometimes did artsy-fartsy films after regular hours.

    I lost count after watching The Holy Grail 30 times. By which time not only did I know the entire script by heart, I had a copy of it. The Pythons published a soft cover book with three versions of the script, starting with the first rough draft. So naturally I bought a copy. And as a fan it was amazing for me to see how much the storyline changed between versions. In fact they still were re-writing extensively during the shooting.

    Did you know John Cleese's Black Knight had to have a stand-in (no pun intended) after they chopped off the one leg because he's too un-fucking-coordinated to stand one one leg for any length of time? True story.

    But I stopped watching Python films in theaters when they became popular with the main-stream jugheads. Because they weren't Python-literate so they didn't know when to laugh. Or more to the point, when not to. They're forever laughing before the genuinely funny bits so you can't hear the best lines for their noise (fucking philistines!).

    But VCR came along just in time to save the day. Otherwise I might have had to stage a mass murder in a theater so I could enjoy the rest of the film undisturbed.
    Last edited by Beetlegeuse; 10-05-2019 at 08:29 AM.

  19. #19
    Obs
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    In more ways than you can imagine.
    I already imagined them all

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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kelkel View Post
    In more ways than you can imagine.
    I already imagined them all
    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.


    Twice.

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    Beetlegeuse's Avatar
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    Now the pope of England wants in on the act. He probably figures he's WAY behind the other pope on the ass-hattery scale so there's no time to lose.

    Church Of England: The UK Must Ban "Pointy Knives"

    The Church of England is demanding that the United Kingdom use force and violence to ban pointy knives. A religious organization is now insisting that crime be reduced by further enslaving the population....

  22. #22
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    I love it when Pythons show up in a discussion

  23. #23
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    Apparently the stab-proof knives that the formerly great British were so keen on ... aren't. Stab-proof, that is. From July of '18 thru June of '19 they had 44,000 "knife offences" and 285 "fatalities" (I think they meant "murders").

    So a company called Viners Cutlery comes up with this:



    Except ...



    ... this is called a sakin. Which the name for the knife that Rabbis use to perform kosher slaughter. Of anything from chickens to steers. If you can kill a steer with it, chances are it also will do a mischief on a human being.

    And as you might already have surmised, a sakin is blunt. Very, very, very ... blunt.

    But unlike the formerly great British, what the 'sakin' is not ... is dull.

    Like the American hoplophobes who are fixated on banning guns based on how they look, the formerly great British "knife-lophobes" want knives banned based not on what damage they are capable of inflicting but on how they appear.

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    Knife crime rises to record high with surge in London

    Life crime increased throughout England and Wales but homicides only were up in Muhammadan-ruled Londonistan.

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    What they're really scared shitless of is Islamo-Fascist terrorism.

    Fearing ‘Islamophobia’ Accusations, UK Govt Allows Sharia Marriages Which Trap Women in ‘Marital Captivity’: Report

    ... “Despite bigamy being illegal in the UK, the fact that religious-only marriages can go under the radar effectively allows men to enter into polygamous relationships that leave the women with absolutely no marital rights or legal protection under UK law,” she said.

    “This leaves women and their children vulnerable to abuse, exploitation and destitution – it simply cannot be allowed to continue,” Webb concluded....

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    Wow, this is brilliant. Even the Khalif of Londonistan hasn't hit on this idea yet.

    Bristol Mayor urges citizens to take in illegal Muhammadan immigrants

    Residents of Bristol, England, are being asked to provide housing for migrants in their own homes by refugee activists and the city mayor.

    An arrangement enabling asylum seekers to stay in local hotels on the taxpayer dime is reportedly set to expire soon, and migrants could soon find themselves living on the streets of the 'sanctuary city,' officials and activists claim....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beetlegeuse View Post
    Wow, this is brilliant. Even the Khalif of Londonistan hasn't hit on this idea yet.

    Bristol Mayor urges citizens to take in illegal Muhammadan immigrants

    Residents of Bristol, England, are being asked to provide housing for migrants in their own homes by refugee activists and the city mayor.

    An arrangement enabling asylum seekers to stay in local hotels on the taxpayer dime is reportedly set to expire soon, and migrants could soon find themselves living on the streets of the 'sanctuary city,' officials and activists claim....
    Just asking politely...

    Does it bother you that the mayor of London is a Muslim?

    Only ask because you don't refer to Trumpy Bear as a Christian. Or a saint. Or false prophet. Or whatever religious term suits your mood.

    Yet you commonly point out whenever someone is Muslim.
    For example, you refer to President Obama as Sheik Obama. (Even though Obama is Christian I may point out.)

    So why do you need to point out if someone is Muslim?
    Just curious...

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    London cop shot dead inside the station house for failing to frisk suspect

    ... The handcuffed man - arrested on suspicion of possessing ammunition - managed to pull a gun from his trousers at Croydon custody centre and shot the veteran cop in the chest before shooting himself....



    The fact is that not being armed themselves can (and obviously sometimes does) inure the police to the possibility of an armed suspect, with tragic results.

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