Mr. X Interview

[ptbyjason]

The following is an interview that we conducted with Mr. X, a weight trainee who recently began using anabolic steroids .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


HugeDisk: So tell us, how long have you been using anabolic steroids ?

Mr. X: Well, I guess since I started. Probably about the time my friend smuggled the drugs back into the country in his "secret compartment"* on his trip back from Mexico. A few months ago I suppose.

HD: Can you comment briefly on how your workouts have changed since using these drugs?

Mr. X: It's easier now. I bulk up in my car, while brushing my teeth, while I sleep. Maybe I don't look as "shredded" with my shirt off as some other bodybuilding freaks do. But I look HUGE in clothes. HUGE!

HD: So you no longer go to the gym?

Mr. X: I'm not saying that. I'm there all the time.

HD: But you said that you don't work out.

Mr. X: I don't need to work out, man. I'm on steroids now.

HD: What do you do at the gym, then?

Mr. X: Maybe take on a couple of personal training clients or something like that. Maybe on weekends do some entertaining.

HD: Entertaining?

Mr. X: Like maybe make a little extra drug money by performing, you know, for well-to-do homosexuals. But I don't want to get into that. I mean, there's more important stuff to talk about. I'm a bodybuilder! Just look at my gear, man. I'm dedicated to fitness, and more important, these baggy gym clothes accentuate my BIGNESS.

HD: What about your workout regimen?

Mr. X: I was getting to that. While at the gym, I like to sit at the juice bar and talk, maybe sip on a protein shake. There are always all these hot chicks coming into the gym, right? And everyone knows that chicks like guys with big muscles who look cool at the juice bar. It's even in that Cybergenics ad. Have you seen that one?

HD: Can you tell us what else goes on at the gym now that you're using these drugs?

Mr. X: Well, after I spend a couple of hours or so at the bar, I usually walk around the gym and glare at all the skinny geeks. I make sure to practice my "lat spread" while walking, to really feel the "burn" in my back. Everyone stares at me the entire time because I'm so big. I look huge when I'm walking around the gym like that. I also make sure to walk with my legs spread far apart. This avoids chaffing. And when you shave your legs like us real bodybuilders, chaffing can really cause some discomfort. Also, if you walk with your legs spread apart it intimidates people.

HD: That sounds wonderful.

Mr. X: Thanks, man. But let me finish. After I complete my walk and everybody's clearly impressed, I usually go and talk to some of the other big guys. We discuss how great it is to be huge. We also talk about how all the other guys want to look like us, and how all the women really want us. Then we may discuss how we might go to the local pub that night and maybe get into some fights. Some days, we might compare the abscesses on our thighs and asses from where we've injected ourselves. And on rare occasions we'll compare the extent of our bitch tits, you know, gynocomastia. But this really depends on who's in the gym at the time. Some people actually get offended if we take off our shirts or drop our pants. Can you believe that, man?

The interview transcript abruptly ends at this point. Our fitness correspondent is not currently returning our phone calls.

[Psycoswole]

LMAO!

[Big Al]

Funny shit! LMAO.

So true.........

[Daredevil]

LOL! Very funny. But guys like that DO exist! Have seen one or two myself, walking the walk and talking the talk.

[Capital X]

This article seems to weird to be true. As I read on I can't believe that there is anyone out there who is truly this dense in the head. Come on, this sounds like such an extreme character. I am not convinced that someone actually walks around with such an attitude on steroids . I am not a gear user and I am not a geek. I am 6'3 230lbs and 15% BF. Hey, I am not ripped but I can walk the walk. I have never had such an attitude nor would steroids change this. I have contemplated taking juice for awhile but after reading this article it worried it may destroy some of my brain cells along with packing on the size.

Capital X

[XBiker]

Although this was funny.

Don't be giving X a bad name.