Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: insomnia is a bitch so lets start a good joke thread.. i'll start

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    yo momas house
    Posts
    503

    insomnia is a bitch so lets start a good joke thread.. i'll start

    insomnia is a bitch so lets start a good joke thread.. i'll start

    Here are some very funny jokes, none are dirty but some are a little bit long. Hope you enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

    Garden of Eden Story:

    Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"

    Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

    God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.

    God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

    She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."

    Adam asked God, "What will a woman like that cost?"

    God said, "An arm and a leg."

    Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    giggitygoo
    Posts
    222
    Doc: You've got high cholesterol, and another thing...you really need to stop masturbating

    Patient: Ok, why?

    Doc: Because I'm trying to examine you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    1,126
    funny pick up line

    If your left leg was christmas and your right leg was easter I'd like to spend some time up inbetween the holidays

    What has a whole bunch of little teeth and holds back 9 inches of fun?........MY ZIPPER


    Hey, how bout we go out for pizza and some sex?(She gives a disgusted look)....what? You dont like Pizza?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Brisbane Australia
    Posts
    228
    Am i allowed to post Chuck Norris jokes???


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    yo momas house
    Posts
    503
    copy and paste but funny... god I wish i could sleep

    What do sick Bodybuilder's do on the loo?
    A: Drop Sets.

    What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a Politician?
    A: A Back-bencher.

    Why did the stupid Bodybuilder train at the zoo?
    A:He wanted to get ripped to shreds....

    What do you call a Bodybuilder with major acne?
    A:Flecks Wheeler....

    Newspaper Headline :-
    ZOMBIE BODYBUILDER DOES THE DEADLIFT...

    Two Bodybuilders were having a fight outside a nightclub
    one of them tore off a car exhaust pipe and tried to ram it down the throat of the other builder "This is what I call
    the pre-exhaust principle."

    Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
    A:Because he was squatting....

    A Bodybuilder said to a reporter,"Would you like to see my traps?" And the reporter said"yes". So he took him down to his cellar and pushed him down a trapdoor.

    What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
    A: Curls...

    Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
    A: He wanted maximum isolation....

    What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a peeping tom?
    A: Amazing peeks....

    A skinny guy was talking to a genie:
    "I want muscles all over my body."
    The Genie said:"So be it."
    In a flash of lightning the skinny guy was transformed.
    But he ended up looking like a giant bunch of grapes.

    Did you hear about the farmer?
    he was arrested for destroying his calves in the gym....

    Quote
    Bodybuilders should go to church and preach mass....

    A dumb Bodybuilder tried to rescue a girl from two live power cables but he got electocuted because he tried to do cable crossovers.

    What do you call santa with muscles?
    A:Mr Xmass....

    It was alleged that in 1979 Frank Zane told Joe Weider
    he was definitley going to win ten more Mr Olympias.
    Joe Weider said,"Are you INZANE."...

    Arnold Schwarzenneger took his car into the garage
    for a tune up.The mechanic looked at it and said
    " Ah, looks like there's something wrong with your points?"
    Arnold snapped back," No,I don't have any weak points!"

    Gold's Gym was robbed last week, that's the last time they recommend free weights....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    yo momas house
    Posts
    503
    one more

    A blonde meets a body builder at the bar and they go back to his apartment for some fun.
    The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."
    He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

    He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have." The body builder tells her,
    "That's to carry around a 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."

    He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

    The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

    The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    "Unleash Hell"
    Posts
    2,401
    ^^^^Hahahaha!!!!

    Must have missed your thread last nite man; I was on this crappy mood and I needed just something like this..lol

  8. #8
    Two rats in the sewer, one says to the other "im fvcking sick of eating shit all the time"

    His mate turns and says "never mind mate, we'll go on the piss tomorrow"

  9. #9
    Chode Logan's Avatar
    Chode Logan is offline AR's Ravishing Maestro of Anabolic Tastyness
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Rain City, BC
    Posts
    12,187
    Those bodybuilder jokes were the cheesiest things I've ever read. Ha.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    30,963
    Jack n Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her fanny.
    Jack got a shock and a mouthful of c0ck cause Jills a f****kin tranny !

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ShredVille
    Posts
    12,572
    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    Jack n Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her fanny.
    Jack got a shock and a mouthful of c0ck cause Jills a f****kin tranny !
    Was that a joke or a statement....LOL

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    yo momas house
    Posts
    503
    here we go

    Whats the difference between a blond and a Mosquito?

    The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •