Joke of the day

[kif]

Theres 3 nuns waiting at the gates to heven st. john tells them before I let u in I have to ask u a question so the first nun steps up to the podium st. john says have you ever touched a mans penis the nun says well yes once i brush my hand up against one but thats it. st. john says thats ok just put your hands in the holy water and wash them, so she does and goes through the gates. so the other two nuns are standing there and one of them raises her hand and says st. john, st. john I have to go next, I have to go next. so st. john says ok step up to the podium. he says why is it so important that u go next she says because theres no way im rinsing my mouth out with that holy water after she dips her ass in it.

[farrebarre]

3 guys are walking in the amazon and get captured by indians. the chief tells them they have to do as he says otherwise they will get killed. he tells them that they all must go and find 2 fruits and get back asap. the first one gets back with 2 berries and the chief tells him to put them up his ass so he does that, the next one gets back with 2 apples and the chief tells him the same and so he too puts them up his ass then suddenly the 2 guys start laughing so hard the apples n berries pop out of their asses, the chief asks whats up, and suddenly sees the third guy holding 2 watermelons.

[farrebarre]

a guy is lost in the african desert, he keeps walking and getsto a lil village, the chief of the village tells him choose between death or oogabooga, he thinks for a min and decides that he made it this far he could make it all the way to civilization so he says oogabooga. the chief gathers all the men in the village and they **** him up the ass one by one. the poor guy can barely stand up on his legs, keeps walking and after some time gets to a second village, the chief tells him to choose between death or oogabooga, he thinks for a min and says oogabooga and gets ****ed upp the ass by every guy in the village. now he aint able to stand on his legs so he crawls away and another day passes and he gets to a third village where the chief asks him choose between oogabooga or death, the guy thinks for a min and says death, the chief gathers every man in the village and tells them to oogabooga him to death...

[kif]

a guys walking down the street with his girl they look over and see a dog licking his balls the guy says to his girl I wish I could do that his girl says well you better pet him first or he mite bite you

[RA]

Theres 3 nuns waiting at the gates to heven st. john tells them before I let u in I have to ask u a question so the first nun steps up to the podium st. john says have you ever touched a mans penis the nun says well yes once i brush my hand up against one but thats it. st. john says thats ok just put your hands in the holy water and wash them, so she does and goes through the gates. so the other two nuns are standing there and one of them raises her hand and says st. john, st. john I have to go next, I have to go next. so st. john says ok step up to the podium. he says why is it so important that u go next she says because theres no way im rinsing my mouth out with that holy water after she dips her ass in it.

lmao..

[pepperoni]

There's two frogs in a bathtub, The first frog asks the second to pass the soap, The second frog turns to the first and replies "DO I LOOK LIKE A TYPEWRITER TO YOU?"

[Myka]

There's two frogs in a bathtub, The first frog asks the second to pass the soap, The second frog turns to the first and replies "DO I LOOK LIKE A TYPEWRITER TO YOU?"

rofl....huh?

[pepperoni]

rofl....huh?

precisely

[SnaX]

There's two frogs in a bathtub, The first frog asks the second to pass the soap, The second frog turns to the first and replies "DO I LOOK LIKE A TYPEWRITER TO YOU?"

Hahahaha thats a good one lol.

[C_Bino]

There's two frogs in a bathtub, The first frog asks the second to pass the soap, The second frog turns to the first and replies "DO I LOOK LIKE A TYPEWRITER TO YOU?"

LMAO...

[SnaX]

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, aren't you?"

The woman looks at the items on the belt, and seeing nothing
unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on earth did you
know."
He replies, "Because you're ugly."

[farrebarre]

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, aren't you?"

The woman looks at the items on the belt, and seeing nothing
unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on earth did you
know."
He replies, "Because you're ugly."

LOL HAHAHAHA own3d

[NotSmall]

So this guy dies and moves on to the afterlife. He is met by St Peter who explains that there is no Heaven and Hell but rather one afterlife for everyone and everyone is handcuffed to someone else as reward/punishment depending on how they lived their life.
"What does this mean for me?" says the man.
"Well" says St Peter "You have hardly led a blamefree life have you? You have stolen on several occasions, cheated on your wife and taken the lord's name in vain on many occasions to name but a few of your multitude of sins so as punishment you are to be handcuffed to this for eternity"
In walks the most revolting woman imaginable - hugely fat, grotesquely ugly, face covered with puss oozing sores, BO that makes your eyes water.
As St Peter slaps the cuffs on the man turns and sees farrebarre walking past handcuffed to the most gorgeous woman in creation - perfect body, fantastic pert breasts and a beautiful face.
"Hang on a minute" says the man "What the fuck is going on here?"
St Peter replies "Don't go concerning yourself with her punishment, she had it coming"

[farrebarre]

hahahahah bastard...

[farrebarre]

A man arrives at Heaven and St peter explains to him how some things work. “We will provide everything you need here but your mode of transportation is based on how faithful you were in marriage.” The man is satisfied to see that he is given a Volvo. While driving to his new home he sees NotSmall who also arrived that day parked on the side of the road crying in his Aston Martin. “Why are you crying?! You’ve earned an Aston Martin for your marital faithfulness!” he says. NotSmall looks up and explains, “Yeah, but I just saw my wife on a skateboard!”

[NotSmall]

A man arrives at Heaven and St peter explains to him how some things work. “We will provide everything you need here but your mode of transportation is based on how faithful you were in marriage.” The man is satisfied to see that he is given a Volvo. While driving to his new home he sees NotSmall who also arrived that day parked on the side of the road crying in his Aston Martin. “Why are you crying?! You’ve earned an Aston Martin for your marital faithfulness!” he says. NotSmall looks up and explains, “Yeah, but I just saw my wife on a skateboard!”

I'll run the whore over with my snazzy car!

[farrebarre]

lol and ill shag that gorgeus chick

[NotSmall]

lol and ill shag that gorgeus chick

You crack on! - One of her sins was seducing men and not revealing that she had male sex organs until the moment of nakedness - Enjoy!

[farrebarre]

You crack on! - One of her sins was seducing men and not revealing that she had male sex organs until the moment of nakedness - Enjoy!

i just pretend i didnt see what u just typed and still enjoy and i hope ur aston martin breaks down

[l2elapse]

A man arrives at Heaven and St peter explains to him how some things work. “We will provide everything you need here but your mode of transportation is based on how faithful you were in marriage.” The man is satisfied to see that he is given a Volvo. While driving to his new home he sees NotSmall who also arrived that day parked on the side of the road crying in his Aston Martin. “Why are you crying?! You’ve earned an Aston Martin for your marital faithfulness!” he says. NotSmall looks up and explains, “Yeah, but I just saw my wife on a skateboard!”

haha thats pretty funny

[NotSmall]

i just pretend i didnt see what u just typed and still enjoy and i hope ur aston martin breaks down

And I hope he/she spunks in your eye!

[NotSmall]

haha thats pretty funny

Don't encourage him.

[farrebarre]

Don't encourage him.

, and ill just close my eyes and pretend she squirted

[NotSmall]

, and ill just close my eyes and pretend she squirted

What will you pretend when she/he is dominating you from behind?

[farrebarre]

What will you pretend when she/he is dominating you from behind?

that will never happen , im gonna find u n ur aston martin and ill let him manipulate ur ass

[NotSmall]

that will never happen , im gonna find u n ur aston martin and ill let him manipulate ur ass

You'll never catch me!

[farrebarre]

You'll never catch me!

it was my joke, so if i say ill find u then i will find u

[cfiler]

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, aren't you?"

The woman looks at the items on the belt, and seeing nothing
unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on earth did you
know."
He replies, "Because you're ugly."

That's so funny!

[Big Broker 1]

A man goes to the pharmacy and starts looking in the condom section, after about ten minutes the pharmacist asks him if he needs help, the young man tells him that he is looking for a good condom because he thinks today is going to be his lucky night with his new girlfriend. They chat for a few and then the young man leaves with his condoms, later that night the young man goes over to his girlfriends house for dinner and is asked to say a prayer, 15 minutes into it the girl whispers over "why are you praying so long", he answers you never told me that you dad was a pharmacist

[farrebarre]

A man goes to the pharmacy and starts looking in the condom section, after about ten minutes the pharmacist asks him if he needs help, the young man tells him that he is looking for a good condom because he thinks today is going to be his lucky night with his new girlfriend. They chat for a few and then the young man leaves with his condoms, later that night the young man goes over to his girlfriends house for dinner and is asked to say a prayer, 15 minutes into it the girl whispers over "why are you praying so long", he answers you never told me that you dad was a pharmacist

hahaha good one

[Liftnainez]

A man goes to the pharmacy and starts looking in the condom section, after about ten minutes the pharmacist asks him if he needs help, the young man tells him that he is looking for a good condom because he thinks today is going to be his lucky night with his new girlfriend. They chat for a few and then the young man leaves with his condoms, later that night the young man goes over to his girlfriends house for dinner and is asked to say a prayer, 15 minutes into it the girl whispers over "why are you praying so long", he answers you never told me that you dad was a pharmacist

theres more parts and detail to this joke.. it was posted somewhere else.. still funny

[Big Broker 1]

yea...theres some things i dont remember....