How do you......?

**Sage** · 11-22-2004, 12:34 PM

wipe your A$$......direction aiming towards your sack or away from it........

absolutely nottn todo at the office today so i went outside to talk about random schittt with my mechanics and one of them tells me his buddy gets completely naked before taking a schittt and than has to go home and immediately take a shower -and- another one goes to say that wiping azz away from the balls is a much cleaner outcome.......wtf is that all about we had others join in to this enlighting debate......

**Monkeytown** · 11-22-2004, 12:42 PM

Front to back dude...the only way to go. You don't want to smear **** all up on your nutz. That would be ...well....nutz!

**fitnessNY** · 11-22-2004, 01:17 PM

Front to back as well -- the chicks will not be into a nut sack that smells like $hit.

**HeavyHitter** · 11-22-2004, 01:20 PM

Fck that man.... I go towards the nut sack the first couple of times and then i finish with the upwards wipe. I never once got $hit on my nutz but besides that, i take a shower before i go hang with da ladies!!! I used to go up but going down is so much more comfortable!!!

by the way, great thread!!

**jonnytour** · 11-22-2004, 01:21 PM

Front to back. Any other way whould not be very smart. Smearing crap on yer nuts is a sure fire way to turn a chick off when she goes down on you!!

**needmorestrength** · 11-22-2004, 01:23 PM

Wipe my azz??? WTF dont u guyz just wash your ass in the shower at the end of the day? haha ewwwww lol

**justincredible** · 11-22-2004, 01:27 PM

This thread is f*ckin hilarious!!

And it's good to see that no bodys using the "side to side" technique!!

**HeavyHitter** · 11-22-2004, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by justincredible

This thread is f*ckin hilarious!!

And it's good to see that no bodys using the "side to side" technique!!

HaHAHA ive tried that before.... its only necessary when

WTF am i saying.....

**Maraxus** · 11-22-2004, 01:30 PM

I wash back to front and then use baby wipes and wipe off and $hit residue left behind.

**SwoleCat** · 11-22-2004, 01:32 PM

Why wipe?

~SC~

**Maraxus** · 11-22-2004, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

Why wipe?

~SC~

You dont want skid marks on your posing trunks do you?

**SwoleCat** · 11-22-2004, 01:33 PM

Looks like pro tan!

~SC~

**Maraxus** · 11-22-2004, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

Looks like pro tan!

~SC~

How would you explain the odor?

**Red Ketchup** · 11-22-2004, 01:34 PM

I have 6 nubile 18 year old virgins tongue my azz clean every time... they choose the direction... no need to wipe...

Red

**justincredible** · 11-22-2004, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

I have 6 nubile 18 year old virgins tongue my azz clean every time... they choose the direction... no need to wipe...

Red

Holy sh*t bro, you're lucky.

**OSTIE** · 11-22-2004, 02:03 PM

I thought everyone used the three shells??

**BigMike J** · 11-22-2004, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by OSTIE

I thought everyone used the three shells??

I would love to use the three sea shells.. no more breakthroughs when im shieting. Nothing like a breakthrough when your on the crack of your ass.

So..has anybody else had a breakthrough?

**Monkeytown** · 11-22-2004, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by BigMike J

I would love to use the three sea shells.. no more breakthroughs when im shieting. Nothing like a breakthrough when your on the crack of your ass.

So..has anybody else had a breakthrough?

Oh the dreaded breakthrough....finger wipe. I hate it. Especially in a public restroom, when you have to shuffle to the sink with your pants around your ankles so you can wash your hands before you pull up your pants. Happened to me in the ATL airport just last week. Got a few strange looks....I was all "Like you have never wiped your a$$ with your fingers?!"

Why do they use that ****ty one ply TP (pun intended) and dispenser only gives you one sheet at a time!! ARGH!!

**ticboy** · 11-23-2004, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by OSTIE

I thought everyone used the three shells??

hahaha. top s**t, pardon the pun

**63190** · 11-22-2004, 02:19 PM

Three shells? LOL Front to back. Then back to front when It looks like I'm done wipe, and there's always some left. I remember that sided-to-side is said to be faggity. Why? My mom was watching the movie that that's from and couldn't under stand why? I never even thought of wipping that way before that movie. She claims that side to side is the best at getting all the poop off the bung hole. I tried it and was disappointed in the efficacy.

**needmorestrength** · 11-22-2004, 02:51 PM

Yea with that one ply crap you might as well just wipe with your hand

Spyder · 11-22-2004, 02:52 PM

this thread is hysterical. ... anyway, is one supposed to remain seated during the wiping stage or stand-n-wipe?

and to clarify, i never got any sh1t on my nutz either, and i dont know what direction i go. ill have to pay attention next time.

**justincredible** · 11-22-2004, 02:59 PM

I'm thinking of implementing a 3 day rotation, based around my cycle.

Monday/Thursday Side to side
Wedneday/Friday/Sunday Front to back
Saturday/Tuesday Circular motion

**kloter1** · 11-22-2004, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by justincredible

I'm thinking of implementing a 3 day rotation, based around my cycle.

Monday/Thursday Side to side
Wedneday/Friday/Sunday Front to back
Saturday/Tuesday Circular motion

Hilarious !

**Rob** · 11-22-2004, 02:55 PM

how about that dip the tissue in water before the wipe, gets the stubburn skidmarks out fo there

**Soldier of Misfortune** · 11-22-2004, 03:12 PM

Front to rear you're in the clear!!

**decadbal** · 11-22-2004, 04:47 PM

you are just strange for even asking....

**PizdetS** · 11-22-2004, 05:34 PM

i wonder how Jesus did it because that would be the right way. any religious buffs here by chance.

**Hypertrophy** · 11-22-2004, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by PizdetS

i wonder how Jesus did it because that would be the right way. any religious buffs here by chance.

You are one sick dude!

**PizdetS** · 11-22-2004, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by Hypertrophy

You are one sick dude!

so i've been told

**not2bigyet** · 11-22-2004, 06:33 PM

LOL I have a full proof method:

1. Take the toilet paper and fold it over a few times so your fingers wont slip through.

2. place the toilet paper over the baloon knot, and place your middle finger near your sack, and your index and pinky fingers facing backwards at the top.

3. pinch your fingers together so they meet in the middle

4. repeat as needed

5. finish with baby wipes for that fresh scent, or just wet some toilet paper

and there you have it! it only took me 26 years to learn how to wipe my ass correctly

**Maraxus** · 11-22-2004, 05:42 PM

Wait, AEU wipes MY ass.

**decadbal** · 11-22-2004, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Wait, AEU wipes MY ass.

i concur, they use some sort of damp muscular aparatus.. im thinking one of them called it a tongue... not sure what that is... since i have a manboy named daddydbol to clean my arse for me..

**jon_83** · 11-22-2004, 08:56 PM

i just use the ol front to back method it's never failed me so far.

**decadbal** · 11-22-2004, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by jon_83

i just use the ol front to back method it's never failed me so far.

well how do u know, how many times a day do you look at your so called ass with a mirror?

**MASStermind** · 11-22-2004, 08:40 PM

I wipe nuts to back and then afters its clean I wrap toilet paper around my finer and shove it up the hole a few times to make sure its extra clean then I take a shower.

**Panzerfaust** · 11-22-2004, 10:18 PM

You guy's wipe?

Thats disgusting, women love the all natural smell of a man. Its a natural act, why deny it?

**workdude** · 11-22-2004, 10:40 PM

WTF.........

**Sage** · 11-22-2004, 11:59 PM

i had fun reading this thread and a day at work went by quick, wish it was like that everyday for me.......

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