10. Iron never has a headache.

9. Iron doesn't care if it's 3AM, it's ready to go when you are.

8. Iron doesn't mind your protein gas.

7. Iron doesn't care if you call it "bitch" when you're pushing up that last rep

6. Iron never asks if it looks fat; 200 pounds is ALWAYS 200 pounds (thanks to Henry Rollins).

5. Iron doesn't want a ring. It already knows you're committed.

4. You always know exactly where you stand with Iron. You don't have to worry that you might hurt Iron's feelings.

3. The only thing Iron wants for your anniversary is for you to go and use it. Not that Iron cares if you remember your anniversary.

2. Iron will never cheat on you, but you can tell your friends to go ahead and bang out a few more reps without Iron feeling dirty.

1. Iron doesn't placate, it doesn't scorn, it doesn't jeer and it never judges. It just waits for you to push to a new PR.