You can eat 'em, and that's just for starters. There are so many possible combinations of meats, breads and condiments that even a Nubian queen wouldn't know where to begin. You know, I don't know why I said that.
Anyways, I think what I enjoy most about sandwiches is the way they feel in your hands. All soft and supple, with just a little give when you press down to prevent your precious toppings from spilling forth. The sandwich has one function in this world, and it fucking knows it. I think when a sandwich goes bad, it's not from having been left out for too long but rather because it's pissed off that it hasn't been able to fulfill its life-long goal of being eaten.
Did you know that before the invention of the sandwich water wasn't wet? It's true. Also, before the sandwich, you didn't press buttons, but rather you yelled at them until they pressed themselves.
Without the sandwich society would be nothing more than a giant ball of semen and feces and mucus and urine. Actually, that's a lie but sandwiches are still powerfully good for a lot of reasons.
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