If Dear Abby was a man....
Dear Abby's replacement....
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband can't get enough of you! Knowing that there's only
one of you he can only settle for the next best thing -> your best friend.
Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get
some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If
you're still not sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
meal while you think about it.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean
the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it,
do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook
him a delicious meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should
be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay.
What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he
should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!
Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cook him
a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never
giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
him a nice meal.
1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.
What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!
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Originally Posted by BigMike J
