Why do some women love scumbags?

[ironfist]

A girl that i have been friends with for about 3 years has decided to marry her ex-boyfriend...(spur of the moment thing) i tried to warn her, the guy is short, out of shape, 28yrs old living at home, doesn't have his own vehicle, doesn't have a job, and never graduated high school...my friend is 22, cute and generally a good girl...I couldn't talk any sense into her...The guys is also an ex-con, she called the cops for domestic violence on him 2 times, and he';s cheated on her...I'm glad I've got a smart girl...You guys know any other girls like this? ( i hope this isn't the norm now a days)

[Kasushi sakuraba]

Yeah man I know some girls like that! It really makes you think what the hell is going on in there heads eh? I have asked a few girls about stuff like that and alot of them have said they are with pricks because they know they could get with the nice guy, and that he would care about them. But some times they get with the dicks just to see if they can! Does that make any sense to you? Becasue it dosen't make shit of sense to me. Girls are complex!

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by ironfist
A girl that i have been friends with for about 3 years has decided to marry her ex-boyfriend...(spur of the moment thing) i tried to warn her, the guy is short, out of shape, 28yrs old living at home, doesn't have his own vehicle, doesn't have a job, and never graduated high school...my friend is 22, cute and generally a good girl...I couldn't talk any sense into her...The guys is also an ex-con, she called the cops for domestic violence on him 2 times, and he';s cheated on her...I'm glad I've got a smart girl...You guys know any other girls like this? ( i hope this isn't the norm now a days)

Ironfist, I know of many guys who have done the same thing. Married/lived with scum.

I think people get blinded by their insecurities & lonliness. I know that I did one time, and paid for it with a broken heart and a lot of psychological damage for over two years. My Ex cheated on me, and did the most cruel things to me, fortunately no physical violence, but the mental cruelty is almost just as damaging.

Sometimes people also have to make mistakes to learn by them. We can't always be a SuperHero and rescue everyone. At times they need to learn to swim on their own and hopefully we can be there before they drown.

[Kaz]

Originally posted by Canes4Ever
....... Sometimes people also have to make mistakes to learn by them. We can't always be a SuperHero and rescue everyone. At times they need to learn to swim on their own and hopefully we can be there before they drown.

Sad but only too true bro!

Iv done the same myself. You HAVE to let them make their mistakes and then be a freind to help them pick up the bits without saying "I told you so"

Its what being a freind is all about.

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by Kaz


Sad but only too true bro!

Iv done the same myself. You HAVE to let them make their mistakes and then be a freind to help them pick up the bits without saying "I told you so"

Its what being a freind is all about.

Kaz, so true, so true.

You have a lot of great insight into life Kaz.

[tryingtogetbig]

Originally posted by Kaz
...Its what being a freind is all about.

Very true, but I know many of us have seen our friends do this (get with the wrong person) and then they want you to be happy for them. So you are. Then they fight and are unhappy a lot and they want you to be supportive of them without saying "I told you so". So you are and do. Then they get back together for a couple of months and act like they have been getting along for years and tell you they are trying to get pregnant, and they want you to be excited for them. So you are. Then they fight most of the pregnancy and ask you what you think, but you say nothing because there isn't one thing you can say that will be right. The baby is born, things go well for several months and you wonder if maybe you were wrong questioning your friends decisions. A few more months go by, they are getting divorced-cause they completely hate each other, your friend will want to start being around you more complaining about the other half and want you to listen. So you do. End result-another baby growing up in a split household.

Sounds like I have been through this a couple of times with a few friends/family, doesn't it!!!! But, they are still my friends/family. They may not have an ounce of common sense, but they are friends so you have to stand by them in their decisions!

peace,

ttgb

[Butch]

I've had this happen to me a few times. WHere I am myself (nice) and the girl just doesn't want it. She wants the asshole and the guy that will treat her like shit. I can't do that. I have too much respect for women to do that.

It does suck. Because these are generally good girls that get into these type of relationships. In the end they get mentally and sometimes physically abused. I'm only 26 and I still havn't figured women out. I know when I am 70 years old I still won't have figured women out.

The Green Day song fits this forum the best....."Nice guys finish last."

[ironfist]

Originally posted by tryingtogetbig


Very true, but I know many of us have seen our friends do this (get with the wrong person) and then they want you to be happy for them. So you are. Then they fight and are unhappy a lot and they want you to be supportive of them without saying "I told you so". So you are and do. Then they get back together for a couple of months and act like they have been getting along for years and tell you they are trying to get pregnant, and they want you to be excited for them. So you are. Then they fight most of the pregnancy and ask you what you think, but you say nothing because there isn't one thing you can say that will be right. The baby is born, things go well for several months and you wonder if maybe you were wrong questioning your friends decisions. A few more months go by, they are getting divorced-cause they completely hate each other, your friend will want to start being around you more complaining about the other half and want you to listen. So you do. End result-another baby growing up in a split household.

Sounds like I have been through this a couple of times with a few friends/family, doesn't it!!!! But, they are still my friends/family. They may not have an ounce of common sense, but they are friends so you have to stand by them in their decisions!

peace,

ttgb

This is pretty much the situation i see coming...not even my girl could change her mind...I've got a good girl and she values the way she's treated...I wish to hell my friend would follow suit and find someone who will take care of her...I hope see doesn't get pregnant cause I see nothing but problems in her future and if she ever does get her head on strait, a baby is really going to limit her options...

[Sexual Mustard]

If there is one thing that I've learned, it's that nice guys finish last. I've also learned that a lot of assholes (who get the girls) used to be nice guys that got fucked over. Point being: I'm gonnna be an asshole from now on, and if girls are stupid enough to like me because of it, I'm going to use them.

[Canes4Ever]

Originally posted by Sexual Mustard
If there is one thing that I've learned, it's that nice guys finish last. I've also learned that a lot of assholes (who get the girls) used to be nice guys that got fucked over. Point being: I'm gonnna be an asshole from now on, and if girls are stupid enough to like me because of it, I'm going to use them.

This post makes me very sad bro, I know you can get frustrated, but its no reason to abuse girls because another gal abused you.

[Babyweight]

Do I sense a little hostility here??? Like I always say "Get over it". No one should ever be treated badly. And if they are, then leave!!! Thats all. An "Eye for an Eye" IMO, is NOT the way to go. That just brings you to their level.

[testprop]

damn right canes, using somebody b/c you had a shitty relation SUCKS!

[Sexual Mustard]

Sorry if I offended anyone.... it's hard to change your attitude when you've been fucked over many times.

[Dizzy]

Originally posted by Sexual Mustard
If there is one thing that I've learned, it's that nice guys finish last. I've also learned that a lot of assholes (who get the girls) used to be nice guys that got fucked over. Point being: I'm gonnna be an asshole from now on, and if girls are stupid enough to like me because of it, I'm going to use them.

It's wrong to say women are this way or that way. Some like to be treated badly. Some may like the challenge...or like to take care of someone. Some want to be babied.

There has to be a happy medium. Most women I've gone out with don't like too nice of a guy. But most don't like an asshole either. Yeah, it may be fun to women for a while to have a bad boy...but if he can't stop and be a human every once and while...she will leave then as well. Considering she is a logical person.

[Dizzy]

Originally posted by Sexual Mustard
Sorry if I offended anyone.... it's hard to change your attitude when you've been fucked over many times.

Trust me...I feel your pain. You just gotta put that shit in it's place and move on.

[Dizzy]

I'll change ya quick bitch. LOL

[Babyweight]

Originally posted by Sexual Mustard
Sorry if I offended anyone.... it's hard to change your attitude when you've been fucked over many times.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so brash. I just believe people should treat other people the way they would like to be treated.
I'm sure you'll find a wonderful person one day.
babyweight

[Destructo]

The chick cannot live without the abusive situation.
hmmmm......
She, like many others, is a part of a little cycle I like to call
CO-DEPENDANCY.
This is regardless of gender.
Once one can break free of their infatuation with this cycle, they may join the happy little world of
CO-EXISTENCE.
hmmmm........lol

p.s. A "nice guy" is usually a third wheel co-dependant....also a sucker.
p.p.s. we are all who we want to be

[sp9]

People cause some of their own problems in life. Many of these problems are from putting up with bs in a relationship. I can't understand some of my friends that are female putting up with anyone cheating on them. Come on get rid of these guys. I think some of the girls I know don't even like themselves, insecure, or whatever you want to call it. If you don't like yourself then you really can't have a good relationship with anyone until you work on yourself. They also get very attached if they get physical with a guy and they just don't want to leave after that happens even when they are walked on. I say life is too short to put up with bs. I would rather be single and hang with good friends then get disrespected. But that is just me.

[jeffylyte]

a lot of it is that people are young and immature. as i got older i got tired of good-looking but dumb as rocks bitches. yeah, its nice to be with the model types, but id rather be happy wit someone who is nice, cares deeply, i can have a conversation with, and tries to please me as hard as i try to please her. these girls who go for the dicks will either wise up or be stuck with them, either way why should i care? im happy with what i got.

[BIG_JDAWG]

i have seen this many times also..you see it in the celebrity world too.. you see all these hot models with some of the scumiest and dirtiest rockstars you have ever seen.. not saying i dont like rock, because i love it!! for example... tommy lee and pam anderson... i love the crue, but look at tommy..but i have seen worse..a friend of mine dating an older guy and all he did was smoke weed, drink beer, and cheat on her..he didnt work, didnt have a car, and lived at home..at the age of 27.... and she stayed with him for a year.. it was pathetic..she is now not with him finally, and has moved on to a better life..the only thing you can do is hope they will see what is in front of them instead of being blinded by love



Big J

[bigkev]

the way i see it, through my experiances, some women(and men) have such low self esteem that they subconciously are drawn to people who are at the level they see themselves at. and that goes for freindships as well as relationships. you surround yourself with people you feel you can relate to. that always ends in even more misery and unhappiness. its a hard cycle to break, and most never do.....as grumpy and mean as i can be, it always makes me feel very sad when i see people like that. but you cant help someone who doesnt want, or feel, they need to be helped. another of lifes tragedys.....

[ironfist]

Originally posted by bigkev
the way i see it, through my experiances, some women(and men) have such low self esteem that they subconciously are drawn to people who are at the level they see themselves at. and that goes for freindships as well as relationships. you surround yourself with people you feel you can relate to. that always ends in even more misery and unhappiness. its a hard cycle to break, and most never do.....as grumpy and mean as i can be, it always makes me feel very sad when i see people like that. but you cant help someone who doesnt want, or feel, they need to be helped. another of lifes tragedys.....

Very true Bigkev...definately something to think about and watch for...

[Tobey]

I agree with the general consenous about low self esteem, however, I do think that there is someting to be said about the game. All of us tend to find the mystery in a person intoxicating. Finding out is half the fun. I think that there is a certain awe about the bad boy image that most women find attrattive. To offen "Nice guy's" tend to open up to much which removes this aspect and the thrill is gone and the predictablity of that person is soon lost to boredom. At least that has always been the way it seems to turn out. Nice guy's do always seem to come in last in this area.
IC

[Mrs. T]

I agree wholeheartedly with bigkev. I also think it's really sad that so many of you guys seem to geniunely hate all women because of the actions of a few. I have every reason in the world to hate all men based on real crimes committed against me. But if I let those horrible acts cloud my image of all men, I would have missed out on a number of truly golden relationships in my life. It's hard not to become hard and cynical, but it's worth it in the end not to let that happen.

[tryingtogetbig]

Well said Mrs T

[Nate_Dog]

Originally posted by bigkev
the way i see it, through my experiances, some women(and men) have such low self esteem that they subconciously are drawn to people who are at the level they see themselves at. and that goes for freindships as well as relationships. you surround yourself with people you feel you can relate to. that always ends in even more misery and unhappiness. its a hard cycle to break, and most never do.....as grumpy and mean as i can be, it always makes me feel very sad when i see people like that. but you cant help someone who doesnt want, or feel, they need to be helped. another of lifes tragedys.....

Thank god BK you saved me typing out all that. You hit the nail on the head. Counld not have said it better myself.

[jeffylyte]

i must say bigkev and mrs t. in the words of mr. bud weiser

True