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Thread: The Guys' Rules

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    El Paso, Texas
    Posts
    2,254

    The Guys' Rules

    The Guys' Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules"
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men ARE not mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1 Whenever possible, Please ! say what ever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -


    to give them a bigger laugh

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    TEXAS
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    good rules more like regulations

  3. #3
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    Scylla and Charybdis
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    number 1 is my favorite

  4. #4
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    The Bay, California
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    good rules. Maybe we should add somemore. Do you guys have any in mind?

  5. #5
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    Dec 2003
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    S.Florida by way of NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by derek7m
    number 1 is my favorite

    absolutely !

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuieTSToRM33
    absolutely !

  7. #7
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    May 2005
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    ON, Canada
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    This has to be the one that frustrates me the most...its so true

    Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    I mean WTF, she calls complaining about what happened, I say ok well why dont you try this etc. Then we end up in a fight because "I didnt need your advice, I just wanted someone to listen." I cant even explain how mad this makes me. I will NEVER sit around and tell a girl oh its ok when its not, if shes being a moron im gonna tell her so. If any girl wants a guy to JUST LISTEN they are not worth it. They are living in a dream world where everything is ok, its complete bullshit and you cant live in a little protected world where everyone will listen and tell you its ok.
    I am actually getting really mad right now because this has happened so many times. I hope someone says it to me again soon...I seriously think that telling people off is my favourite thing to do.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2004
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    Sweden
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    who needs rules, i just chain my woman so she can only access the kitchen, the laundry room and the bed

  9. #9
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    i don't know bino, girls are just diff, they need that reassurance. I can actually deal with that one. My ex would call me 3x a day just to tell me about some stupid bs at work....whatever

  10. #10
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    May 2005
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    ON, Canada
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    Quote Originally Posted by derek7m
    i don't know bino, girls are just diff, they need that reassurance. I can actually deal with that one. My ex would call me 3x a day just to tell me about some stupid bs at work....whatever
    Ya see if its just reassurance its not that bad, but the thing that makes me go crazy is the fact that if I do give advice it starts a fight, like c'mon thats just BS. We are actually fighting because I gave some advice, holy shit thats just messed up.

  11. #11
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    Jul 2005
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    Down South
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    good stuff

  12. #12
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    Aug 2005
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    The Bay, California
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    4,136
    I hate when they call and start talking for ****en ever then they want you to repeat what they said so they know you were listening.

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