I get all my stuff done, go to school which I am finishing, work, getting good job when school is done and moving out at the same time and still attending the gym 5-6 days a week but ….. for some reason when it comes down to hanging out and “enjoying” life I just don’t Fcuking care anymore. My “cheat” day normally consist of drinking that night but still eating. I am not a big drinker and I only been doing it once a week but I know I sometimes do it for the wrong reasons, just to forget everything. I had to abandon half my friends because they are getting big time into drugs and have a few good friends/best friends I can hang with but it’s always drinking when I hang out with them. I just drink and drink till I can no longer control my actions and why? Because I just out right don’t care.
I don’t know if it’s a mid-life crisis which I think I am a little young for but I just ask myself what do I do everything for ? why !? for happiness ? because i sometimes forget what that is. Like I said I still get everything I need to get done but I am losing motivation to keep going on.
Maybe i just need to rant this out or something who knows. I am just downing some coffee waiting to get to the gym tonight for back.
The gym makes me happy but i can't live at the gym
