What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Knowledgeable Member
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Associate Member
me when my liver dies on me finally lol! my "golden tan...coughs...jaundice" lol i kid ..i kid..
Knowledgeable Member
What's the difference between a toilet and a woman?
A toilet doesn't follow you around everywhere after you've used it.
Knowledgeable Member
What do fat people do during the summer??
Stink.
Associate Member
why do apples fall from trees?
Knowledgeable Member
Rafael, thought it be good to have a some what humurous light hearted thread and if you cant laugh at yourself, who CAN you laugh at?? Know any jokes by the way?
Knowledgeable Member
Pass, why do apples fall from the trees?
Associate Member
bcse i tell them to lol ( god i suck at jokes )
Knowledgeable Member
Jokes are like riddles and have to have a crazy logicalish kinda answer.
"ARs Most Dangerous Member"
what does an abused housewife do after she gets out of the hospital?
the dishes if she knows whats good 4 her....
Banned
so 2 guys walk into a bar right...
and the third one ducks
National Level Bodybuilder/Hall of Famer/RETIRED
Just a warning... Racial jokes will get this thread closed.
Muscle Asylum Project Athlete
Senior Member
Why was 6 afraid of 7??
Cause 7....8.....9.....ROFL
Dbol Junkie
man im feeling kinda brain dead right now, but i wish i had a picture of the tree i cut down in some guys front yard while the cops were standing there looking at it scratching their heads in disbelief
Dbol Junkie
my friend puked all over someones front porch, then he rang the doorbell and ran away
Dbol Junkie
hey i got a joke...
my pathetic muscle build.
Anabolic Member
Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Q. You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A. Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!
Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.
Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.
Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.
Q. Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
A. Yeah...now he has no ears.
Q. Do you know how to eat a frog?
A. You put one leg over each ear.
Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
Q. How do you **** a fat chick?
A. Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog.
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A. A private tutor.
Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless.
Q. What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
A. An elephant with diarrhea.
Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A. Her lipstick
Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
Q. What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A. A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Q. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well hung.
Q. What two words will clear out a men's changing room quicker than anything else?
A. Nice dick!
Q. How do you know when a Barbie has her period?
A. All your tic tacks are gone.
Anabolic Member
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring beer
Member
Originally Posted by Carlos_E
Theres no such thing as a racial joke, only immature racist comments thought to be mildy ammusing by childish neo-nazi's!!
I fvckin hate racism.....
Dbol Junkie
Theres no such thing as a racial joke, only immature racist comments thought to be mildy ammusing by childish neo-nazi's!!
I fvckin hate racism.....
so do i
National Level Bodybuilder/Hall of Famer/RETIRED
That is what got the last joke thread closed.
Theres no such thing as a racial joke, only immature racist comments thought to be mildy ammusing by childish neo-nazi's!!
I fvckin hate racism.....
Muscle Asylum Project Athlete
Member
I can't understand some people, I sometimes wish everyone was blind for the 1st 10 mins of meeting someone!!
It works both ways as well, I met a back guy at a conference and the 1st thing he said to me was " blah....blah.....blah White Boy"
Maybe 1 day some scientist will invent a virus that only attacks racists!!
Or is being antiracist...... racist??
Knowledgeable Member
Okay, IF any of the jokes get TOO offensive can there at least be warnings rather than no warning lock? I feel this thread could spread the love.
Member
Courtesy of nuts.....
Q. What do Aussies call foreplay?
A. Hold on sheila!!
Q. What do you call a dog with metal balls and no back legs?
A. Sparky
National Level Bodybuilder/Hall of Famer/RETIRED
Your warnings right here.
Muscle Asylum Project Athlete
Knowledgeable Member
Okay but at the very least IF any jokes are offensive can the perpatrator (sp?) be warned and the joke deleted. Seems a bummer if the whole thread gets closed cause of one dickhead.
Knowledgeable Member
Now, whats the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
Clint Eastwood makes your day and anal sex makes your hole weak.
BA BOOM!
Dbol Junkie
what did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
if we dont get some support soon, people will think were nuts
Anabolic Member
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she's already been told twice.
Anabolic Member
A boy and his father are at a park.
The boy asks his dad "What's a vagina like?"
The dad answers "Well son, before sex, a vagina is like a beautiful flower just waiting to bloom."
And the son then asks "What's it like after sex?"
The dad answers "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
Dbol Junkie
oh man... thats bad
Knowledgeable Member
Did you hear about the Irish woodworm?
Found dead inside a brick.
Giggity Giggity Giggty!
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydneyconstruction site.The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling." To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him." Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, that ye did, but I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't fin' him." The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy. He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells... "Supplies!!"
Anabolic Member
^^^ ROFL
That seriously made me laugh out loud. People are now looking at me funny.
Banned
That's funny! Glad that there wasn't a black guy in your joke, thread would be closed...............
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