Question for the gay members

[cj1capp]

I truly believe if everyone could just talk with people they see as "different" that at least we can understand the "whys" better

agreed !!! as the french say VIVA LA DIFFERENCE.
Thank God there are differences I like chocolate while others may like vanilla ice cream if we were all the same how facking boring the world would be.

[goodcents]

I like the part of what Carlos said about there not always being a "guy" and "girl" role because that is always what I thought too? Thanks everyone so far for being mature and I hope it will continue I welcome all members, gay or not to respond and feel free to do so w/o disrespect Just for the record, in my life time I have used just about every racial and homophobic slang in the past True wisdom comes when you begin to really "hear" someone else.

[MFT81]

i'll mail you a check for $5,000 if no one is suspended/banned and the thread is still open by morning, that's how confident i am that admin will maintain order.

They'll wait to lock it till 12:01 tomorrow afternoon just to piss you off..

[BG]

I have some gays friends that are great, but Ive met others that arent. The ones I dislike are the ones that dont respect you being straight, back int the day its was so hard going and seeing Junior at Twilo, but on the other hand you could go see Victor C and things were fine, guess just like straight people theres the good and the bad. Cant beat 2 male incomes though!!!! D.I.N.Ks

Double
Income
No
Kids

[Carlos_E]

I have never known anyone who is gay... Or who as come forword for being so.

Probaly b/c I live in a rather small European country, and being gay is not accepted here. Those who are gay(in some countries like mine) are probaly living very un-happy lives.

What makes you assume their lives are unhappy?

[Carlos_E]

I have some gays friends that are great, but Ive met others that arent. The ones I dislike are the ones that dont respect you being straight, back int the day its was so hard going and seeing Junior at Twilo, but on the other hand you could go see Victor C and things were fine, guess just like straight people theres the good and the bad.

Now you know how I felt when I used to go to the new Sound Factory. I know it was supposed to be straight but I got tired of the women hitting on me. I have to say though. I used to get more phone numbers from guys going there then going to a gay club. The first time I went I left with 8 numbers.

Cant beat 2 male incomes though!!!! D.I.N.Ks

Double
Income
No
Kids

You ain't lying. In the past 4 weeks I have bought lots of toys. 60 gig PS3, 24" widescreen LCD monitor and end of this week I'm buying a Tivo series 3.

[chest6]

Cant beat 2 male incomes though!!!! D.I.N.Ks

Double
Income
No
Kids

True. I have neighbors that live across the street from me..2 gay guys. Both doctors. They have like 8 cars..lambo..porcshe(sp?) ferrari.. rich bastards

[chest6]

Now you know how I felt when I used to go to the new Sound Factory. I know it was supposed to be straight but I got tired of the women hitting on me. I have to say though. I used to get more phone numbers from guys going there then going to a gay club. The first time I went I left with 8 numbers.

haven't you said before you have some straight friends that go with you to gay clubs and clean shop w/ gettin girls' numbers? I may have to try that

[Carlos_E]

haven't you said before you have some straight friends that go with you to gay clubs and clean shop w/ gettin girls' numbers? I may have to try that

Back in the day when I used to club, yeah. I don't go out to clubs any more.

[Dude-Man]

I <3 tolerance. I <3 acceptance even more though.

[scaramouche]

funny,if i meet a gay couple i never think about them having sex doesnt even cross my mind but if i meet a guy and his wife i always picture them having sex if shes ugly i pity the guy and if shes hot i envy him lol

[Carlos_E]

if i meet a guy and his wife i always picture them having sex if shes ugly i pity the guy and if shes hot i envy him lol

That's funny.

[stuball]

I just took my girl shopping, what a pain in the ass, i let her buy whatever she wants just so i can get out of the store faster, but the best thing abouy two gay men shopping if they are the same size they can share clothes, and gay men have great taste in clothes, im a f'n mess when i shop, i just dont know what to where..

[Kale]

To be honest... I know of a lot of guys here who are bi and gay and all of you know them and you do not know they are bi/gay. They will not post openly in this thread.

[notorious_mem]

i lived next to a gay couple all my life,it was great cus in high school on the weekend i would go over to mikes and borrow half his clothes....over there the stereotype was right, gay guys have way better taste in clothes.(and shoes)

[acciaio]

i lived next to a gay couple all my life,it was great cus in high school on the weekend i would go over to mikes and borrow half his clothes....over there the stereotype was right, gay guys have way better taste in clothes.(and shoes)

...and they even know how to sell them... Nowdays every clothes or shoes shop have a gay working in...

[Carlos_E]

I just took my girl shopping, what a pain in the ass, i let her buy whatever she wants just so i can get out of the store faster, but the best thing abouy two gay men shopping if they are the same size they can share clothes, and gay men have great taste in clothes, im a f'n mess when i shop, i just dont know what to where..

Stereotype. I hate shopping to and I have the worst taste. All I wear is jeans and t-shits. My brother used to rag on me for having plain horrible taste. He would take me shopping to pick out cloths and he is straight.

[Carlos_E]

i lived next to a gay couple all my life,it was great cus in high school on the weekend i would go over to mikes and borrow half his clothes....over there the stereotype was right, gay guys have way better taste in clothes.(and shoes)

I'd rather buy GH than new cloths. That's just me.

[Red Ketchup]

gay men have great taste in clothes, im a f'n mess when i shop, i just dont know what to where..

I dunno about that bro... I think it's probably just a stereotype...

When I was an inspector I used to work with this gay dude, nice guy and all, but I swear he had the absolute worst taste in clothing in the world! I think he was still stuck in a bad 1970's cop show!

Now for me to notice how badly another dude dresses, he has to be pretty bad, 'cause I am aweful! I have the fashion sense of a homeless whino!

Red

[BG]

Now you know how I felt when I used to go to the new Sound Factory. I know it was supposed to be straight but I got tired of the women hitting on me. I have to say though. I used to get more phone numbers from guys going there then going to a gay club. The first time I went I left with 8 numbers.

You ain't lying. In the past 4 weeks I have bought lots of toys. 60 gig PS3, 24" widescreen LCD monitor and end of this week I'm buying a Tivo series 3.

Sweet!!!!

[stuball]

Stereotype. I hate shopping to and I have the worst taste. All I wear is jeans and t-shits. My brother used to rag on me for having plain horrible taste. He would take me shopping to pick out cloths and he is straight.

Is your boyfriend a good dresser ???? And thats me to jeans and a tee, but i spend so much time in the hamptons, i need to start dressing a little nicer, you know casual comfortable, but nice, im tired of wearing jeans, a button down shirt and sneakers..

[BG]

You ain't lying. In the past 4 weeks I have bought lots of toys. 60 gig PS3, 24" widescreen LCD monitor and end of this week I'm buying a Tivo series 3.

Hmmmmm maybe I should...........................Nah my girl and I arent having kids so we should be ok, but isnt even close to double male income.

[daytrader]

Im taking a human sexualities class right now for a elective this last semster in college, actually just got done writting a paper about naturevsnurture... Its a great class, we actually just had a gay priest come in and speak to us last week, very interesting

[Carlos_E]

Is your boyfriend a good dresser ???? And thats me to jeans and a tee, but i spend so much time in the hamptons, i need to start dressing a little nicer, you know casual comfortable, but nice, im tired of wearing jeans, a button down shirt and sneakers..

He dresses very casual. Like I do.

[SMAN12b]

Carlos, why do you think it is that the other gay members do not want it known that they are gay or bi?

You seem to be fine with it and no one here treats you any different except for the occasional A$$hole

[stuball]

He dresses very casual. Like I do.

Thats cool, If you dont mind me askin did you tell people you were gay when you joined this forum ( not that it should matter ) or did it slowly come out ??? Excuse me if its a stupid question..

[Tock]

One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????

I've liked guys ever since 3rd grade, when I had the hots for the lifeguard giving me swimming lessons. Nevertheless, I had been brought up with the notion that every fellow got married, had 2.3 kids, a dog, a house in the suburbs, and a station wagon. I bought into that because I had no clue that it could be any different. I didn't know what gay was until after I had been in the military for about a year.

Anyway, I had a couple of girlfriends . . . actually, they decided I was going to be their boyfriend, and we ran around and did things together. One time, back when I was keeping books for a church, my girlfriend and I made out on a church altar (I had keys to the church), and I felt up her breasts. Wasn't any big thrill to me, but I was 19 at the time, and curious to see what all the fuss was about.
I had another girlfriend later, we were in her home -- alone -- and she took off her top and I felt her up. Again, no biggie for me, although she liked it.

That's about as close as I ever got to that sort of thing . . . I did it mostly out of curiousity, and my girlfriends seemed to want to do it, and I figured I may as well do it because sooner or later it was gonna happen anyway. It was about as exciting to me as browsing through a stamp collection.

--Tock

[Big Drez]

For as long as I could remember.

I first told my parents I "liked" my best friend when I was 13-14. They told me of course you do, he's your best friend. I told them no, I like him how a guy would like a girl. They told me I was confused. I went away to college at 17 and for Christmas I brought home my first boyfriend and introduced him as my boyfriend. They said, ummm... OK. We remember you mentioning something like this a few years ago. They were totally cool about it. It was a none issue. They said we just want you to be happy.

In some cases yes, and in some no. I am a very masculine guy. People don't know I am gay unless I tell them. I can tell by people's comments when the gay subject comes up if they will treat me differently if they knew. Most of my coworkers at work did not know I was gay. Only the guy who works on my team and my manager knew. My bf came to meet me for lunch one day and I introduced him to the two of them and a client as my boyfriend. They said "oh... ok. Nice to meet you." The comments that followed were funny. They asked a lot of questions that were some what personal. "Oh wow, you're pretty big to." They asked him if he competes. He told them no. Then they asked him what he does for work. He told them he's a sergeant in the military. My client had a shocked look on his face. I guess the whole gay in the military thing was on his mind. Then my client asked him a few other questions that were a bit personal. It was funny.

Straight people think if you are gay then it means you are feminine or less of a man. Or they think that in gay relationships there are *male and female roles.* I guess straight people can't help to think that way because that's what their relationships are like. But that is not the case. With my bf, one of us is not a woman. We're 2 masculine men. We're both men. When we go places people look at us and they're surprised when they see we're gay because they think we do not fit what they stereotypically class as gay.

Your train of thought here is incorrect. You're asking from the point of view that being gay is a choice. It isn't a choice. It's just how it is. I can ask you the same question. Have you ever had sex with a guy to make sure you made the right choice? That you really like women? I have always been attracted to men. I have no attraction or desire for women and when I look at them the idea of having sex with a woman is slightly repulsive. I don't understand how straight guys do it. But whatever, that's your thing. Who am I to judge. If you're straight, think how you feel at the idea of having sex with a guy. It's the same way I feel about having sex with a woman.

My question to straight guys. Why is it when someone tells you they are gay, the first thing you think about is sex? Being gay isn't about sex. It's about who you care for or who you're in love with. Yes sex is involved, that's the fun part but that is not what a relationship is about. It seems the first thing that comes to your mind is who fucks who? When a straight guy introduces you to his gf or wife is the first thing you think of is how he fucks her? What they do in bed? Or do you think oh they're in love, how nice and you're happy for them.

the media does NOT help this one bit. Most of the people who have no concept of how gays interact only has what they see in movies or on TV to go by, which is the cause for ALOT of stupidity when it comes to many issues, including homosexuality...

[stuball]

I'll do a search and see when that was posted, like i should have done ..

[Indymuscleguy]

+2 I don't see gay or straight white or black, I just see people for who they are. There are trash people of ALL races and backgrounds and gay or straight. It's all about who the person is and his/her values and how they were raised.

I couldn't have said it better!

[daytrader]

Im taking a human sexualities class right now for a elective this last semster in college, actually just got done writting a paper about naturevsnurture... Its a great class, we actually just had a gay priest come in and speak to us last week, very interesting

I forgot to add, the sexualities class has opened my eyes to other issue that i had never thought about before, being straight ive always been supportive of gay rights, however, i had never thought about the fight for rights of bisexuals and transvestites.... Later on this semster we have a gay transvestite coming in as a guest speaker, yes, a man turned woman who likes woman!

[Tock]

When did you "know" you were gay?

I've always liked guys. I didn't "know" or connect that with being gay until I had been in the military for about a year (back in 1976). The first guy I really noticed was back in 3rd grade, the lifeguard who gave me swimming lessons. God, he was gorgeous . . .

Did your family approve?

When I told me dad, he said, "Well, I guess you'll have to accept the consequenses of your choices." I wondered to myself, "What choice did I make?"
Anyway, he never spoke to me after that day, which was back in 1979. He died in 2001.

The rest of my family is ok with it, although one sister thinks I'm going through a phase . . .

Do you feel you are treated differently?

I was kicked out of the military when I told them (long story). The church I had been attending (the Salvation Army) mailed me a letter telling me not to come back. Gay sex was illegal until just recently. I see anti-gay BS on TV and radio and print frequently. I can't marry another guy.
A few years ago, I went to a time-share presentation in East Texas, and they wanted both me and my wife to sit through their BS. I told them I wasn't married, they asked why, I said I'm gay. They told me to leave their property and never come back.
That's it for starters . . . there's lots more . . .

In a way, things are the same for me as they are for everyone else. But in important things, like legal recognition of basic things like relationships, and the constant anti-gay rhetoric and slurs from conservative political/religious leaders telling me & my friends that we're all immoral sinners bound for Hell in a handbasket, it's a lot different.

What do you see as a stereotype by other straight or even gay friends or public?

Lots of people seem to think that whenever 2 healthy gay people have sex, that God gives them AIDS. Here in Texas, I've run into that time and time again.
People also are afraid to leave kids alone with gays, because we supposedly are probably going to molest their children. Or at least, being around gay people might make their kids gay.

[Tock]

funny,if i meet a gay couple i never think about them having sex doesnt even cross my mind but if i meet a guy and his wife i always picture them having sex if shes ugly i pity the guy and if shes hot i envy him lol

Huh . . . come to think of it, ya, I never think of straight people ever having sex. But I usually wonder what kind of sex the two guys must be having . . .
--Tock

[Carlos_E]

Thats cool, If you dont mind me askin did you tell people you were gay when you joined this forum ( not that it should matter ) or did it slowly come out ??? Excuse me if its a stupid question..

When I first joined, no I did not tell people. Because of ignorant comments I didn't feel comfortable. Eventually I got over it, and I stopped caring. If people want to be ignorant about it, let them.

the media does NOT help this one bit. Most of the people who have no concept of how gays interact only has what they see in movies or on TV to go by, which is the cause for ALOT of stupidity when it comes to many issues, including homosexuality...

I totally agree. It's not often that you see masculine normal guys on TV or in movies who are gay. It's why I don't like the Will and Grace TV show. The gay guys on there are fem and annoying.

[zodiac666]

When I first joined, no I did not tell people. Because of ignorant comments I didn't feel comfortable. Eventually I got over it, and I stopped caring. If people want to be ignorant about it, let them.

that's a good mentality that can apply to many other things in life

I totally agree. It's not often that you see masculine normal guys on TV or in movies who are gay. It's why I don't like the Will and Grace TV show. The gay guys on there are fem and annoying.

those are the types of gay people, or straight who act the same way, that i can't be around at all because they just irritate me too much.

and i guess i am a little bit of a homophobe, i mean just knowing that i think about sex 90% of the time i dont think i could ever really have a gay guy as a very close friend, i mean if you have a group of a few close friends part of the reason you're that close is because there is zero sexual tension between any of you. and twist that however you want but im straight, i find the thought of two men together like that repulsive.

*anti ban/suspend disclaimer*
everything i wrote was the truth and not meant to be taken as an insult. honesty is the most important trait in someone to me so im not really thinking about what someone else is going to think of what i wrote, im just stating my view on whatever subject im talking about. -zodiac666

[Carlos_E]

i dont think i could ever really have a gay guy as a very close friend, i mean if you have a group of a few close friends part of the reason you're that close is because there is zero sexual tension between any of you. and twist that however you want but im straight, i find the thought of two men together like that repulsive.

Why do you think there would be sexual tension? You're so hot you're assuming that your gay friend will find you sexually attractive? That is another stereotype or mentality that straight guys have. Just because someone is gay does not mean they will like you or think you're attractive. They may find you very unattractive. I have straight friends and my roommates are straight and I don't find any of them attractive. I'm pretty turned off by all of them.

[wascaptain5214]

I work as a F/F paramedic , Captain5124
and I know some outstanding gay medic firefighters like i said i guess it all depends on the individual as i also know plenty of shit-bricking lazy ass straight firefighters .Who IMO don't belong on the job and how they ever got the badge i will never know.

very true! and as a ff/medic i always checked for crowning

[Carlos_E]

very true! and as a ff/medic i always checked for crowning

What does that mean?

[kihop]

I have some gays friends that are great, but Ive met others that arent. The ones I dislike are the ones that dont respect you being straight, back int the day its was so hard going and seeing Junior at Twilo, but on the other hand you could go see Victor C and things were fine, guess just like straight people theres the good and the bad. Cant beat 2 male incomes though!!!! D.I.N.Ks

Double
Income
No
Kids

Maybe i was too zoned out at the time but from what i remember junior's, audience in soundfactory was primarily gay...incredible hard house..

this was also the time when peter gatien and micheal aliq had no troubles from limelight and tunnel.

clubs like paladium, system, shelter, club usa were still around

[zodiac666]

Why do you think there would be sexual tension? You're so hot you're assuming that your gay friend will find you sexually attractive? That is another stereotype or mentality that straight guys have. Just because someone is gay does not mean they will like you or think you're attractive. They may find you very unattractive. I have straight friends and my roommates are straight and I don't find any of them attractive. I'm pretty turned off by all of them.

but if im around a gay person there is the possibility of sexual tension which is a different atmosphere than when it's not even a possibility. it doesn't mean i couldn't be friends with someone who is gay, it just mean that they would probably never be one of my few closest friends.

and in my case, since im so stuningly handsome, of course they would find me attractive.