I have come to a Relationship crossroad in my LIFE!!!

[MACKATTACK]

I read one other thread about some kid talking about his insecurities in his relationship and now I have something to air........

Here is the deal:

My friend (lets say his name is Brian) just started going out with this girl 6-8 months ago and she got pregnant and so they hurried up and now are getting married in 2 months and moving into his new house with her 8 year old daughter that she already has (but also the child they have her with has complications and may not be born but they are still getting married).

My other friend (lets say his name is Bobby) moved in his girlfriend after 3 months of dating. He was looking for a girlfriend for at least two years and someone finally found someone that would take his bum ass and he jumped all over it.

My other friend (lets say his name is Gary) has a girlfriend he has ben going out with for about 6 months. (gary is the younger brother of brian) This is just out of character for him.

My other friend (lets say his name is George) just got his girlfriend of ~4 months pregnant and supposedly they are now going to get married int he next 6 months too.


My other friend (lets say his name is Duke) has always had a girlfriend and he has been on a 1 year break from his highschool sweet heart girlfriend and is liking being single but her dad just passed and he is thinking of getting back with her.




Now my situation, my last two relationships have been rocky but the girls were extremely hot and the sex was great but I never really liked anyone enough I guess to marry them or anything of the things above. I am 25 years old and now I guess things have changed sooooo much in the past 6 months and now I feel like left out and I am starting to not **** random girls and now loook.

I am thinking I should stop and start looking and putting tons of pressure on myself to get into a relationship and just stop ****ing around with a bunch of different girls since its not the same. So I guess int his situation I was wondering what you guys thought since all my boys have serious relationships and other things going on and my mind is kind of racing. Also the one girl I do want is BEAUTIFUL (has the full package too, full time great job also and established at age 25), she is just playing hard to get and for the past 3 years I have been used to going with the easy way out and picking up girls at bars. But I dont want to put too much pressure on her and I just keep thinking.

I guess I would know what the average opinion would be on my friends situations but what should I do with this girl and play hard to get and just put work in and go at it or what??

[CHAP]

Keep doing what your doing and if it is ment to be it will. If this girl you like knows that you bang alot of other girls. She will probably need to see a majer change in you to want to settle down with you. And even then it may not work out.

[vpchill]

Well, in my experience only one of your friends will have a succesful relationship. When you refer to months thats just not long enough to think long term. As for you, why are you looking to settle down? Your 25. Have as much fun as possible and when the time comes you will know it.
Dont just grab somthing up because you want a relationship. Patience is the key my friend.

[Lightsout2184]

man i know how u feel. a lot of my friends are getting married or already are. im also 25 and not too long ago settled down to just dating one girl about 2 months ago. so far its been good totally different from the single bar scene. i think going out and trying to make it happen is the wrong approach because u might talk urself into liking someone just to be in a relationship. i would just focus on going on actual dates like out to dinner instead of the bar scene and take it from there.

[MACKATTACK]

Just for some more info, 3 of my friends are 27-28 one is 26 and the other is 24 (gary).

[CHAP]

Well, in my experience only one of your friends will have a succesful relationship. When you refer to months thats just not long enough to think long term. As for you, why are you looking to settle down? Your 25. Have as much fun as possible and when the time comes you will know it.
Dont just grab somthing up because you want a relationship. Patience is the key my friend.

Agreed at 25 you need to live it up for another 5-8 years before settling down

[MACKATTACK]

man i know how u feel. a lot of my friends are getting married or already are. im also 25 and not too long ago settled down to just dating one girl about 2 months ago. so far its been good totally different from the single bar scene. i think going out and trying to make it happen is the wrong approach because u might talk urself into liking someone just to be in a relationship. i would just focus on going on actual dates like out to dinner instead of the bar scene and take it from there.

I def have the will power not to get into something that I am not truly all about because I had about 3 different girls that i was sort of seeing here or there and I could of easily gotten into a relationship with them btu for some reason it didnt do it for me and didnt fullfill i guess in a way what I was looking for. It's kind of weird and they are all good girls with a great package but it just didnt jive in a way for me. So I am just starting to look now to get a little more serious and judging the character of girls more and asking them different questions when I meet them at the bar. I also pray since I am somewhat religious and believe in god (not a church goer though) and asked for help and guidance with everything.

[Matt]

I would try and sleep with your friends chicks, best friends always do that and chicks love it...

[MACKATTACK]

I would try and sleep with your friends chicks, best friends always do that and chicks love it...

I have already done that a few of them and some of their girlfriends friends just aren't my type (looks, just ok looking and personality, reserved). I am very picky sometimes when it comes to girls and I love the all natural beautiful ones that look amazing just without makeup, ya know.....

[*RAGE*]

I have been divorced three times bro, fuvk bitches all of them....I am not trying to be rude but fuvk them all...

[MACKATTACK]

I have been divorced three times bro, fuvk bitches all of them....I am not trying to be rude but fuvk them all...

Thats what some of the guys at work tell me. they say to enjoy myself and take my time. but it has been a little bit since I have been in a relationship so I guess I wouldnt min trying somehting again......

[Tigershark]

....

[T-MOS]

I have been divorced three times bro, fuvk bitches all of them....I am not trying to be rude but fuvk them all...

Isn't fvcking them what got you in trouble in the first place?....LOLOL

[*RAGE*]

Thats what some of the guys at work tell me. they say to enjoy myself and take my time. but it has been a little bit since I have been in a relationship so I guess I wouldnt min trying somehting again......

Twice for me man. If anyone wants to know how to build up your life and give half of it away just let me know.

Isn't fvcking them what got you in trouble in the first place?....LOLOL

no if I just fuvked them I would have been good marring the bitch is what fuvked me up that and child support....

hey bro there is nothing like being in a relationship but they all get old.....you have to work at them and i am so tired at working

[Kratos]

the happiest guy I know is 56 years old and he only got married once and after 3 years decided they don't make good pets. He runs, bikes, swims, lifts, and just lives for himself. Dude looks about 35 years old max.

If your friends are getting married, make new friends, younger friends, rather then thow away your freedom. I'll be 30 this year...I have a girlfriend...honestly the older I get the easier it is to get with girls, even younger ones...I couldn't get laid out of a paper bag in college.

[Western Man]

Thats what some of the guys at work tell me. they say to enjoy myself and take my time. but it has been a little bit since I have been in a relationship so I guess I wouldnt min trying somehting again......

You're certainly not alone in that regard. When I was about 25 my interests changed, too, from not caring so much for a serious relationship to wanting something more monogamous and meaningful. Give serious dating a try. Doesn't mean you need to get married any time soon, ya know?

[J-Dogg]

How come everyone on the internet only dates hot chicks.

[MACKATTACK]

You're certainly not alone in that regard. When I was about 25 my interests changed, too, from not caring so much for a serious relationship to wanting something more monogamous and meaningful. Give serious dating a try. Doesn't mean you need to get married any time soon, ya know?

I guess I am anxious to do so with everything going on around me but I guess I want things to happen too fast but in retrospect I actually want things to progress slowly over time, lol. Thats why my mind is at war sometimes and I think too much.

[kalspic]

How come everyone on the internet only dates hot chicks.

they dont want to mention the fatties they slept with. they are like mopeds fun to ride till your friends find out.

[Immortal Soldier]

My friend knows a dude in Miami who is 40 years old, rich as hell because he was a trust fund baby and was dating a playboy playmate and was always at clubs in the VIP and now bangs any girl he wants wether they are 21 or 31.

So each persons different man, dont ever think you have to "force" yourself to settle down, until you find that right girl dont make yourself "settle" for just any girl or else your marriage will suffer.

[KatsMeow]

I cannot even begin to tell you how worried I was about being nearly 25 and not being in a relationship or married by now, I have always been cheated on but I am a hopeless romantic. With a lot of tough talk not only from my friends but from my mom, I have been just taking whatever comes to me and trying to fix them and I have been settling. I have also put myself on the back burner everytime I have been in a relationship.

The moral of the story is that you have to stop worrying about it, put yourself first because nobody else in this world will. I personally have decided that with all of my friends around me getting pregnant and married that I don't need what they have. Number one because I don't love myself enough at this point and number two because most young relationships fail.

I did everything in my power to settle down and live the picket fence lifestyle. I put myself through school bought my house, my car and all of that but just haven't found someone that appreciates me enough.

So don't force yourself to settle down because it's about time you did, your time will come when it's right.

[Nicotine]

i loled at the part "my boys have serious relationships"

more like, they knocked up some chick - and it's now a shotgun wedding cuz it's the moral thing to do.

relationships of 4 months and toss in a pregnancy...that's not serious...

$1000 says there'd be 0 weddings, if they hadn't gotten preggers.

their relationships are crap, will be divorced within 3 yrs.

don't worry about it.

[KatsMeow]

people who have children within the first year of marriage have a higher divorce rate, there is nothing sexy or romantic about a screaming crying baby

[jbm]

people who have children within the first year of marriage have a higher divorce rate, there is nothing sexy or romantic about a screaming crying baby

Agreed! 100%

[DSM4Life]

i loled at the part "my boys have serious relationships"

more like, they knocked up some chick - and it's now a shotgun wedding cuz it's the moral thing to do.

relationships of 4 months and toss in a pregnancy...that's not serious...

$1000 says there'd be 0 weddings, if they hadn't gotten preggers.

their relationships are crap, will be divorced within 3 yrs.

don't worry about it.

I agree 100%

I been in a serious relationship for 3 years and even after all that time i am still nervous about moving in with my partner. So i laugh when you says months and relationship in the same sentence.

[xo3et]

I am exactly the same, i am 25 been in and out of my home country working since my teens so hard to get anything steady.

I was with one girl 8mths, serious for her but i didnt give a dam. all my mates have chicks and started to get married.

If its gona happen let it take its course, i have a nice girl now and although only been a few weeks i hope for the best with this one.

Although she works away same as me, so who knows. lol

[collar]

take your time
wait and go on about your business
and if its ment to happen, it will just jump at your face without even knowing it

[-Ender-]

This "inner struggle" that you speak of will pass. You are seeing something new in the cycle of life. What you describe happens to most tight groups of friends. Now that you are aware of it you will notice that it happens to others..often.
You should not be feeling a need to conform to what your other friends are doing currently. Yes, there is a change in your social circle. There will be more. In the end there is truely only YOU. Do not push yourself to change until it is something that you really want, NOT "think you should do".
Things will work out.

my.02

[vpchill]

Rock out with your cock out!!

[VeraDeMilo]

I wouldn't even worry about a serious relationship right now at 25 years old. I'm 27. I went to 6 weddings of college friends last year alone. Since I graduated, I think at least 20 of my friends have gotten married.
Here's the thing... I think most people who get married within a few years of graduating college do it for the wrong reasons. What are the odds of everyone finding their soulmate as soon as the graduate college. It's ridiculous. The reason most people marry the person they choose to marry after college is due to lack of options. Think about it. When you are in college, you can't even walk to class without passing 100 available girls in your age bracket. The same goes for women. You live in building filled only with singles who like to party every night in their late teens and early 20's.

Then what happens when people graduate college. They move home or get a place on their own. Most people get a 9-5 job where they sit in a cubicle all day. After work they go home do stuff around the house or sit on their couch for the remaining few hours before bed. then they wake up and do it again. They live for the weekends where they have one or two nights to try to find someone. If they don't, they have to wait a week to try it again. People get desperate.

Instead of being in college where you may meet a few potential girlfriend worthy girls a week, you may not meet one for a few months post-college. So what do people do when they find one. They hold onto them. And why, because fate has led both of them to each other? No, because of lack of options and fear of being alone.

Half the people I have seen my friends get married to I know would have been nothing more than a one night stand in college or maybe a quick fling. Its the lack of options that changes that. When I was in college, i thought getting married was the next step, but then I go to all my friends weddings, and I know thats not what I want right now. I think the only difference between me and them is that I still work in bars and nightclubs a few nights a week so I am constantly surrounded by goodlooking, available girls. Sort of like how options were in college.

I used to, but now don't believe in the idea of soulmates anymore. Having already been in love 4 times and thought about marriage with 3 of the girls, I know that there are plenty of girls out there that have the potential for you to spend the rest of your life with. The one you end up with is the one you find first and/or at the right time in your life. OR the girl that is really the right one for you is the one you want to be with while your options are at their highest.

Sorry about the rant, but I just had this conversation with a few of my buddies over the weekend and then saw this thread.

[Kratos]

i loled at the part "my boys have serious relationships"

more like, they knocked up some chick - and it's now a shotgun wedding cuz it's the moral thing to do.

relationships of 4 months and toss in a pregnancy...that's not serious...

$1000 says there'd be 0 weddings, if they hadn't gotten preggers.

their relationships are crap, will be divorced within 3 yrs.

don't worry about it.

good post, exactly what I was thinking
and yes I have friends who have already been divorced once or even twice by my age and/or kids.

their lifes suck and they're poor because of poor choices...throw in, in many cases a bankruptcy as a result, no credit, kids who suck cause their mom turns them, and kid payments instead of car payments.

[RA]

Just hit kalspics girl. Youll feel much better...did her last week. Shes not bad.

[kalspic]

Just hit kalspics girl. Youll feel much better...did her last week. Shes not bad.

well damn half the board has already been with her. might as well have the other half join in.

[calgarian]

I have been divorced three times bro, fuvk bitches all of them....I am not trying to be rude but fuvk them all...

Spoken like a true divorced man

To the thread starter.

Look buddy the reason they a getting married is because your friends couldnt keep it in and now they have to marry these girls cause they ae carrying their child. Now the question you should be asking is that do they really love thse girls so they can get married ? or the reason they are getting married is cause they got them pregnant and now THEY have to marry them???? See where i am going with this.......

[RA]

lol

I disagree with matt, I like the hair. It gives rednecks a new level to aspire to.

well damn half the board has already been with her. might as well have the other half join in.

[kalspic]

lol

I disagree with matt, I like the hair. It gives rednecks a new level to aspire to.

so the hiar cut could soon replace the mullet?

[RA]

It is hard to beat the business front/party back

so the hiar cut could soon replace the mullet?

[kalspic]

very true.

[Bojangles69]

I'm 26 and the LAST thing on my mind is marraige or even any sort of long term commitment.
I have too much I wanna do with my life, career, before I even think about it.

[MACKATTACK]

Definitely some amazing answers. Pretty much I am clear headed about not forcing myself into a relationship because that is the current status quo with my firends. I see it as mistakes alot of them are making. My one boy "Duke" is about to move into my crib and rent the upstairs room soon, so it should be good times and have a wing man living with me and we can hit up the HUGE bar scene that is walking distance to my house. The summer is here and I am already getting back into my old form/shape and I already see the differences at the bars (i was sick for 7-8 months on prednizone), so things are slowly turning around for the best and my options are expanding faster.

In the long run I am not afraid to be by myself or run solo for a while and to be open to the possibility of the right girl. So overall I am ready to rock out with my cock out and be open to possibilities. I appreciate everyones response.......