Brothers,
I am wondering whether or not I should be feeling a tad guilty. Here is why:
My 85 year old grandmother, as described in an earlier post, has been taking large quantities of oral anabolics- I dissolve them in her tea, or toss them in her salad, or shove a few tabs into one of the cream buns she eats after dinner. She has gained, to date, 45 pounds and benches 225! Mind you, 200-300mg of drol, 100mg of anavar, and 100mg of dbol a day have helped!
The other day, at the gym, I was training quads with Grandmother and Nobby. We were doing front squats, yelling and groaning with intensity. Just then, I noticed a lad in a wheelchair attempting to train under the guidance of a pencil-necked geek 'personal trainer'.
I marched over, and commented "WRONG! ALL WRONG!" in his face.
"Sir..er..Rupert here (indicating the lad in the wheelchair) has cerebral palsy..really, I don't think your style of ...er..training would be right for him" he whined. "Rupert can decide for himself- can't you, Rupert?" I asked. Rupert's answer was a garbled "hynnfttttthhhhh..uuuuggghhh..."
"Sounds bloody well like a resounding YES to me!" I roared. I took a 45 pound dumbell and wrapped the fingers of his right hand around the grip. "Now, lad, curl!!" I screamed. Rupert's features contorted, his glasses- held on by a thick rubber band going round his head- slipped off to one side as he struggled with every ounce of his will to curl the 45 pound dumbell. As his face turned red, and he began sputtering "nnnggggg....fffffssssthhhhh..uuuuggg..", spewing a shower of spittle onto the floor, a crowd of lifters, including Grandmother and Nobby, crowded around him and began cheering him on. "Oi, curl the fookin thing, y'bastahd!" Nobby cheered, while others offered less inspiring support such as "C'mon Rupert...you CAN do it..".
Grandmother, however, was pure old-school. She took her umbrella, and smacked Rupert over the knees with a viscous whack! "DO as the men say, BOY!!" she screamed in his face. With a final, all out effort, and making a noise not heard from a human since John Merrick(the elephant man) walked the earth, Rupert's arm snapped up with an explosive force and swung the dumbell up! Only thing is, he swung it with too much force and it came smacking into his face, sending him and his wheelchair flipping over backwards onto the gym floor, and as he hit the floor he began having an epilleptic seizure!
Grandmother was overjoyed at his success, and as she marched over to Rupert's convulsing form to congratulate him, she stopped, seized her right bosom and went "Uuuuuggghh...arrrrghh..nnnnuuu.." and collapsed, doing a face-plant onto the floor. I hadn't seen a face-plant like that since I last watched pro wrestling.
We called a couple of ambulances for Grandmother and Rupert, and as the medics took them away, I couldn't help but wonder if Grandmother's collapse had anything to do with the steroids she was on!
Help me out here, bros. Say it isn't so!
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Sir Victorian guy, V.C.
