Ding!!!! Whip your kids!!!--------Your opinions

[slfmade]

So yesterday I'm sitting at my store and this couple comes in with their 2 kids. The kids are screaming and yelling, jumping all over the furniture, and all around running a muck. I ask the mom if she could calm her kids down a bit and have them stop jumping all over the stuff (at this point they were jumping from one mattress to another with their shoes on). The mom told the dad to handle it. I watched as went over and pleaded with the kids to settle down. They calmed down for maybe 10-15 seconds and started doing it again. I mentioned it to them again and they got pissed off and left telling me that I lost their business because I was telling them how to raise their kids.....what? (If I would've acted like that my mom would've kicked my ass)

Afterwards, my fiance and I (we don't have any kids yet) got in a debate over the proper way to discipline kids. Her parents had her late in life after losing another child and were always afraid to spank her so she never really got the kind of discipline I was raised with. Her parents were more of a "sit in the corner" and "I'll pay for your college" whereas my parents were more of the "bend your ass over while I go find the nearest thing to beat it with" and "if you wanta go to college you better start studying and hauling hay at 12yrs old".

I was born in the south (the bible belt) where my family was a firm believer in "spare the rod, spoil the child". If we want something; we work for it. If we did something wrong we got our ass beat. Plain and simple. I turned out to be a hard working and very respectful man. I have little tolerance for stupidity and my work ethic is stronger than most people I know.

Now, I have to give my woman credit. She actually turned out very well, but as with everything, there's always an exception to the rule. She happens to be that exception.

She watches these shows like Supernanny and that paired with the way her parents raised her, believes that kids should be allowed to be kids. Spanking should not be done, that you should talk to the kid, instead of beating their ass.

She believes that children should work hard in school and have play time afterwards. I believe they should work hard in school, do chores/work, then if there's time left over have fun.

She thinks we should pay them for chores - I think chores are just them earning their keep. I believe her way of thinking makes children believe there should always be reward for doing something that simply a part of life leaving them with a sense of entitlement. (As an adult they're not gonna get paid to clean their own home.)

Side note: I once managed this kid who gave me a bad review because he was upset that I never gave him props for coming in on time or for meeting his goal....ARE YOU SERIOUS. He wanted me to put him on a pedestal for DOING HIS JOB!!!!!! Now if he had went above and beyond...sure, but for meeting a minumum expectation....HELL NO!!!

I think my woman is coming around to my way of thinking; however, I would like to get the opinions of some of the parents out here. I say whip your kids, start having them do chores as early as age 4(without pay), if they go above and beyond pay them a reasonable wage, and teach them the value of hard work and saving. That's my .02. What do you think?

P.S. A kids' parents caught their son looking at an S&M porn site. Mom says to the dad..."what do we do". Dads says "What CAN we do...we can't spank him" LOL

[xelnaga]

I've worked with thousands of kids in my line of work. I've seen every emotional, psychological, and physical abnormality there is. There is no need to inflict physical pain to change a child's behavior. It takes creativity, time, and PATIENCE. A lot of parents that hit their kids do it out of frustration.


I find it fascinating that parents fail to see the big picture when they hit their kid. You're teaching your child that there is a time and place for violence. For instance, its okay for you to hit someone when they arnt listening to you or your words have failed.

[HitIt]

i was spanked and looking back have no probs with it. we live in an era of over prescribing and over analyzing and under punishing. even though i was spanked and belted, i've never laid a hand on anyone in my life, so it doesn't translate to violence begets violence for me. btw, there is a time and place for violence in life. like when someone assaults you, breaks into your home, or tries to hurt someone you care about. or you could give that assaulter a good talking to, i suppose.

[xelnaga]

i was spanked and looking back have no probs with it. we live in an era of over prescribing and over analyzing and under punishing. even though i was spanked and belted, i've never laid a hand on anyone in my life, so it doesn't translate to violence begets violence for me. btw, there is a time and place for violence in life. like when someone assaults you, breaks into your home, or tries to hurt someone you care about. or you could give that assaulter a good talking to, i suppose.

I agree with your ladder point. I only meant the time and place isnt over an argument.

[slfmade]

I agree with your ladder point. I only meant the time and place isnt over an argument.

"I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in 'Nam of course."

On a serious note...There is a time and a place for violence. Talking doesn't solve everything all the time. I'm certain the parents of the kids you've worked with were abusive parents, but that's not what we're talking about here. We're not talking about breaking your kids nose...spanking is not abuse. My parents were not abusive. When I did something wrong...they sat me down and explained why I was being punished, told me they loved me, and why they were about to blister my ass.

It's all about showing your children that there are consequences in life. I knew not to cross my parents or disrespect them because if I did they weren't just going to sit me in a corner, but they were going to grab the belt and punish me.

Have you ever lied to anyone? I'm sure you have. Now let's say you were on the witness stand and you knew if you lied you were gonna go to jail. Would you lie then? Probably not. If there are more severe consequences you're likely not to do something you know is wrong. This is why kids who aren't spanked usually turn out to be spoiled brats. They know they can get away with anything with slight consequences. As parents we have to assume that our primary role is to prepare our kids for life. If a person steals from their employer they're not going to get written up....They're going to get fired. Life does not take it easy on you. (Side note: I get sick and tired of everyone and their dog taking all their little problems to a psychiatrist. People have become so pussified over the last 100 years that now people have no idea how to handle what life throws at them on their own, they need the help of a professional??? Give me a break...but that's a whole other thread entirely)

Think about my example of what happened yesterday. If they would have spanked the kids....I would be willing to bet the kids would have stopped. Instead when the father pleaded with the kid to stop the kids just kept doing it.

Let's look at it another way. Think about how things were 150 years ago, think back on western movies for instance. If the kids acted up...it was a trip to the wood shed. Children were much more respectful, got in less trouble, knew the value of work, were involved more with family, and didn't have the sense of entitlement kids have today. My woman is reading this as I type and she said that people didn't have the pressures of life back then that they have now. I say Bullshit. There's reasons why this has happened but it's too much to get into right now.

[slfmade]

i was spanked and looking back have no probs with it. We live in an era of over prescribing and over analyzing and under punishing. Even though i was spanked and belted, i've never laid a hand on anyone in my life, so it doesn't translate to violence begets violence for me. Btw, there is a time and place for violence in life. Like when someone assaults you, breaks into your home, or tries to hurt someone you care about. or you could give that assaulter a good talking to, i suppose.

lmfao!!!

[Sicko]

Definitely spank my kids. I was raised in the mid west/bible belt as well. Went to church 3 times a week and got spanked damn near every day from the time I could walk till I was 11. There was never any doubt what would happen if i disobeyed them. I would just weigh out the crime vs the penalty. If I felt it was worth the punishment then I would do it. If it wasnt then I would not do it. But it made me very aware of right and wrong and made me choose the outcome.
My kids are stubborn like I was and without the fear of getting spanked chaos would not be far behind.
BTW my boys are very well behaved and the more they understand that there is a consequence for their action the less I have to discipline them. Smart kids...eheheheh...
As they get older i will phase it out completely as other forms of punishment will become more affective than physical punishment.

[alexISthrowed]

When I did something wrong my dad would slap me or spank me. I tell him I wish he would have hit me harder, I probably would have been a doctor. I definitely believe in spanking your kids. When I did something wrong and got slapped guess what? I no longer did whatever it was that caused me to get a spanking. I was never brutally beaten, honestly it didn't even hurt that bad, but it worked.

[SexySweetheart]

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[HitIt]

i think over the last 20 or so years the shift has been AWAY from corporal punishment TO things like time outs and a more psychological approach. how has that worked out for us?

[slfmade]

i think over the last 20 or so years the shift has been AWAY from corporal punishment TO things like time outs and a more psychological approach. how has that worked out for us?

Exactly.

Kids from where I grew up are still decent kids, but parenting hasn't changed there either...you mess up, you get spanked. "Hell, if you don't whip em, somebody else will whip em for you." - Rodney Carrington

[DeniZen]

Spanking works if you're a consistent and involved parent. With my kids lately we're at the point where the threat of a spanking works just fine. If I give my son "the look"...he straightens right up!

[HitIt]

Spanking works if you're a consistent and involved parent. With my kids lately we're at the point where the threat of a spanking works just fine. If I give my son "the look"...he straightens right up!

yup. my dad needed only give us the look, because the look was nothing compared to seeing him go for his belt buckle. and if it got to the belt coming off, then came the sinking feeling followed by "i f'ed up now. if only i'd stopped while i was ahead." and it wasn't fear. it was respect. we knew he loved us, but we knew it was too late after we crossed the line.

nowadays a lot of parents are afraid to spank, fearing accusations of abuse, so instead, they take the kid to a shrink and let them put the kids on drugs and blame bad behavior on a "condition"

[Ernst]

Physical discipline is only part of the equation. I would certainly slap my possible future kids upside the head for being brats, just as likely I'd dock their allowance, deny them dessert, make them do chores, push-ups, etc. Whatever seems appropriate. The one that was always good for a smack when I was young was talking back. Immediate and swift retribution lol.

And you take your punishment, whatever it is, physical or not, because.... "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." (mom loved that one)

I remember another favorite tactic was for table manners. If I didn't use silverware correctly or spoke out of turn I would get a swift kick under the table in the shin. Those pointed high heels can hurt! If you made a peep about the sudden pain that had just been delivered you could expect another one twice as bad as the first lol.

When I'd get detentions at school, the staying after would make me miss the bus. Instead of getting picked up I had to walk home. It was a very long walk.

These were not overtly cruel, random, or useless punishments at all. It was always clear how I was expected to conduct myself.

[slfmade]

Physical discipline is only part of the equation. I would certainly slap my possible future kids upside the head for being brats, just as likely I'd dock their allowance, deny them dessert, make them do chores, push-ups, etc. Whatever seems appropriate. The one that was always good for a smack when I was young was talking back. Immediate and swift retribution lol.

And you take your punishment, whatever it is, physical or not, because.... "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." (mom loved that one)

I remember another favorite tactic was for table manners. If I didn't use silverware correctly or spoke out of turn I would get a swift kick under the table in the shin. Those pointed high heels can hurt! If you made a peep about the sudden pain that had just been delivered you could expect another one twice as bad as the first lol.

When I'd get detentions at school, the staying after would make me miss the bus. Instead of getting picked up I had to walk home. It was a very long walk.

These were not overtly cruel, random, or useless punishments at all. It was always clear how I was expected to conduct myself.

LMAO, I think we may have been raised by the same woman. If it wasn't a backhand she had her go-to's.

A. Backhand
B. Belt
C. Fly Swatter (this was pretty common as it was always around)
D. Wood Spoon
E. Had a cloths hanger a few times
F. The worst - Reserved for when I did something really bad -Was when she had me go outside and pick my own tree!!! She would choose a small branch from that tree (we called it a switch) that she would then have me peel off the excess shit off of it until it was a 3-4ft long spanking device. The sound it made moving through the air was almost as bad as the pain.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT....I was greatful for it. Well...NOW I am anyway. It turned me into the man I am today, and I'm very thankful.

[Knockout_Power]

since the mid eighties till now, we've been told to "love" our youth into proper young people. Well go figure, the cutoff for reckless, indignant, ignorant, self-entitled, lazy humans is right around the early 20 year mark.

These kids now adays are a peice of work. I know the last generation has always said that the next generation is weaker and more lazy, but this new wave of youth about to fill our shoes are actually clueless to how the real world works because they cant take their eyes off whatever stupid little peice of electronics apple has just released.

[Knockout_Power]

PS- every hoursehold should be equipped with a rawhide belt

[Ca$tro]

oOOOOCCCCHHHH I just remembered my old man smacking me as well as my grand dad as well as my school teachers... Saying that i beleive it taught me discipline and taught me respect. I never broke any one elses window. I believe it depends on the nature of the child and there intelligence... You don't need to be brutal, sometimes just showing them the belt will make them think twice. A little tap on the legs is all it needs... My nephews have never been hit i just have to speak in an angry voice, my daughter i could not hit even if i wanted too... There are some disfunctional families oout there whose 10 year olds are out robbing old ladies at 1am, what do you to discipline them???

[BuffBuffalo]

Very interesting to see all the different opinions in this thread. I don't have any children, but I'll still add my input on how I was raised and my thoughts about it now. Like a few others I was raised in the midwest and my parents used physical discipline up until I was twelve or so. People still tell me how well behaved I was as a kid and I know it was bc I was quite familiar with what would happen if I didn't. I knew how to act and was expected to do so, if I didn't I knew the consequences. I may not be perfect now as an adult, but I have no doubt that I would not be near the man I am now if I hadn't been raised in the fashion I was. I respect and love my parents more than anyone and I am truly grateful for every single spanking I received...prob could still use one from time to time even these days. Haha

[Knockout_Power]

I got hit with belts, wooden spoons, backs of hands, furniture, you name it... but you know something, I deserved most of it.... and you would never catch me damaging property, disrespecting seniors, swearing at my parents for not buying me a car or the latest gadget that all my friends have etc

[HitIt]

[Sicko]

i think over the last 20 or so years the shift has been AWAY from corporal punishment TO things like time outs and a more psychological approach. how has that worked out for us?

Exactly... what you end up with is a bunch of adults that feel like they can do anything without any consequence..like grown men pissing on toilet seats and who cares about the next guy/gal. (sorry spilled over from another thread)
Time outs only work with passive children. Some kids, me for example, gave no thought to a good talking to or a time out style punishment. Only the fear of physical punishment(which was also combined with restriction punishment, would prevent me from doing what I wanted to do.

[DeniZen]

F. The worst - Reserved for when I did something really bad -Was when she had me go outside and pick my own tree!!! She would choose a small branch from that tree (we called it a switch) that she would then have me peel off the excess shit off of it until it was a 3-4ft long spanking device. The sound it made moving through the air was almost as bad as the pain.

That shit is classic. I moved from the country to Southern California when I was 12, and nobody knew about The Switch. My folks never made me pick my own, but it was on the threat list.

[Shol'va]

Just beat um, beat um then you wont have to repeat um. It doesn't matter if it ain't right just go on and beat them till there black and white just beat um.... sung to the song of Beat It...

[Ochosiete]

Give em the big dipper once and you'll never have to whoop them again.. I don't believe in child abuse but I do know that if one of my kids acted up in public, it'll be "to the moon Alice" for them.

[wmaousley]

Never would i spank, whip, beat, smack or even raise my hand at my daughter......... I dont see a point in showing my daughter it s ok to beat someone if they make a mistake, instead i take corrective action and show her the bad and good in a constructive manner.

Simply seeing your kid doing something he or she shouldnt be doing and smacking them in the head face or ass and walking away is in no way productive. Kids have to be shown the right way just like we show them the wrong way.

[Awesome_Archy]

Yea I got the "Now why did I spank you?" question followed by a smart remark by me and another spanking, sure did get the point though and always knew what was acceptable and not.

[SexySweetheart]

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[SexySweetheart]

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[JD250]

I couldn't have said it better Sexy4 so I'll just say that I agree. Being beat did nothing for me but pass on my fathers impatience and anger, as an adult I fully understand and agree with what he was trying to teach but his methods were that of someone who didn't have time to be a father. I've never beat my kids but I accomplished the same result with an angry voice, not until I realized the damage I was causing did I stop and make some serious changes in my life, I went back and made apologies to my oldest daughter, who was 17 at the time, and when she saw the changes in me and that I took it serious it totally changed our relationship and her behavior was never an issue again. Now I take the time to be a father, it's a lot more work but my family and our relationships have prospered because of it.

[Times Roman]

whipping kids only makes the parent feel better

[Dobie-BOY]

I have spanked my 8 yr old boy about 4 times. He is a pretty good boy and I would spank him more if he needed it. I do think, however, that is should NEVER be out of anger!! I have been guilty of that in the past, but I have realized that it is wrong and does send confusing messages and potentially have damaging effects. I stay calm and show him how sad I am that I have to spank him. I talk to him about it first and then I give him a sufficient, not excessive, amount of spankins ON HIS REAR ONLY. The last time I spanked him he really messed up and needed more than usual so I sat him down and we discussed what he did wrong (all the while he knows that his spankins are comin) why it was bad and that in the long run it hurts not only him, but also his entire family. I gave him about 3 or four swats, stopped for a minute, talked to him very gently and expressed a LOT of love and sadness that we had to go through this, and then gave him 3 or 4 more. I repeated the process 1 more time. I know that it may seem kinda harsh, but I assure you the actual swats hurt his feelings alot more than they did his rear end. And my wife used to think that I was a little too harsh, but she now see's its effectiveness and now understands the importance tough love. I use manual labor as a punishment also sometimes. If its not something real bad I take a bucket, draw a line around it towards the bottom and the severity of his bad decision dictates how many holes and how high up the line is drawn on the bottom of the bucket.
Also, about the kids working etc... YOU ARE RIGHT ON AGAIN BRO!! My wife wasnt sure about the fact that he needed to begin acruiring responsibilities; dishes, trash, cleaning house, etc........ What blows me away about this is that it was only about 50 years ago that people were having 12 children with the sole purpose of having them working on the farm from the time they could pick up a shovel. I also, honestly, believe that this IS one or the problems with kids today. They are taught no responsibility during their most impressionable years and then expected to learn new tricks when they become a older pup or young man or woman. It is often too little too late.
Great question by the way.

[Dobie-BOY]

Physical discipline is only part of the equation. I would certainly slap my possible future kids upside the head for being brats, just as likely I'd dock their allowance, deny them dessert, make them do chores, push-ups, etc. Whatever seems appropriate.

I would not use exercise as a form of punishment. may relate exercise to negative experiences later in life.

[Dobie-BOY]

whipping kids only makes the parent feel better

Maybe it does some parents, but not any that I would consider good parents. It should never make the parents "feel good".

[Dukkit]

Every time my girl and I are out in public... I tell her " I dont want kids"
Cuz of all the spoiled, whiny, little brats that these pathetic parents have raised.

I was disciplined with violence... WHEN I DESERVED IT.

I learned to not deserve it.

Too many parents are BUSY. Work, yoga, and sad to say it... partying.

They dont pay attention to the kids.

Kids feel that freedom and run with it. And as a child... you have no idea what youre doing.

Im all for beating a child WHEN HE DESERVES IT. Im also all for... spoiling them.. WHEN THEY DESERVE IT.

Take them for some ice cream when they do great on a test. Or buy them a new glove, if they kick ass in a baseball game.

But if they get out of line, get in trouble at school or what not... then beat em and take away their Xbox.

See what they like better.

[zaggahamma]

always a contraversial subject

i lean towards spare the rod...

but always out of love and discipline and under control

most importantly is consistency by both parents if only one parent then guess thats moot

[gixxerboy1]

I got spanked hit what ever you wanted to call it. When i did i deserved it. BUT i didnt teach me shit. It tought me violence fixes problems. I got in more fights when i was younger. And i kept getting spanked hit. Until i told my Dad i would hit back. I was "bad" and my mom told my father to give me a smack. I told him not to and i would hit back. I didnt hit him but i pinned him to the ground. That was the last time anyone ever tried to spank me

[songdog]

I look at it like this some kids you can talk to.Others need to be spanked NOT BEATEN.And if the kid still dont catch on.There are programs to put them in so they can learn.I have seen to many kids out all hours of the nite.Beacuse their parents cant control them.A lot of people thru my life thought I was rude but if I come to your house.I know my kid isnt going to act out of line.Beacuse if by chance they did do something wrong.He kid knew there was going to be a rebound effect.So I was lucky with mine.But my new wife she has a kid who cant do nothing right and wont listen to no one.I told her he was some day going to go to jail.And it wont be a overniter.Well as we speak he sits in jail and is looking at a 20yr term.Now he wants to listen.But I believe parents are to blame here.No one wants to believe their kid did wrong.Sorry for the rant.

[gixxerboy1]

i think a big part of it is years ago alot of families only the father worked or the mom just worked part time. So now alot of families both parents work full time and the kids are on their own more

[jimmyinkedup]

My father had a thing for the belt.

Know what it tought me?
To fear the man that I should have adored...
To lie rather than get my ass beat...casuse if worked 2 out of 10 times that was 2 ass beatings i didnt get.
To resent my father to the point that much like Gix it all ended when I told him if he touched me again I would punch him right in the face.

I respect and love my father. He is and was always a good man. I forgive him for his mistakes - he only did what he knew and thought it was for the best. I know better. I wont repeat his mistakes...however im sure i'll make some of my own - but not this one.