*** NOTE I do not mean AS just hard core stuff, This is just a story about me, and would not like to start a debate on drugs ***
Well its been five months since the incident.
I would like to share a story to some of you guy and gals.
I was born in Long Island NY, where all of my family is, I grew up basically with my Cousin Mike, everyday till I was about 9 years old I spent with him, My father was an air traffic controller until Ronald Reagan fired him ( they went on strike ) Well My parents decided to start fresh and move to South Florida, Things were kind of crappy, I left my family, friends, but most importantly My favorite person in the world, My Cousin. In the beginning we always kept contact, Through phone and mail, but as I got older and established some new friends we kind of parted.
Things were going good for me, I got into many hobbies and sports, I was very active with Fishing,Baseball,model planes, and many other kids stuff, As I grew older I always felt a hole in my heart, I finally filled that hole with becoming more in contact with my cousin again. Things were perfect in my life, I got my dream car at 17 ( The stang of course ) started working, and kind of getting my life on track. I had many jobs and tried different things, but manly had enough money to fly back and fourth to visit my Best friend in the world, my cousin. My cousin was a big fat kid at the time ( He looked like Chunk from the goonies ) and was getting in trouble allot, he liked to party at his young age of 17, and went to the city allot with an older crowd. He got into drugs, and did them almost every weekend. His father a LT. at NYPD tried to control him, but nothing could be done. Well luckily he survived his partying days and got into the gym, This kid came from a horror story to a saint. The drugs faded away from him, and he became a neat freak with everything in his life, he was very anal with everything he did, by the time he turned 21 he went from Chunk to Vin Diesel, Ripped as can be. He was my role model in life, Now mind you his drug days were not totally over, once in a blue moon he would still have his nights.
I never got into drugs was always against them, LOL I wanted to be a cop more than anything in life, I tried for about 3 years and during that time I found a great job doing Mortgage's and making allot of money. My cop dreams were over ( I do still dream though ) and my Mortgage career started. I was 22 when I got the job and the youngest in my company, the only one there with out a college degree, buying my first house by myself at 23 years old, Life could not be better. The people at my job were great people, big partiers, kind of like Boiler Room. At this time I figured my cop days are over, and I always new my cousin wanted me to party like him, So I gave it a shot the next time I went to visit him. He got me to try almost everything you can in one short week. We became so tight between us, as much as we were when we were growing up. I came back down to Florida only to show my new Co-Workers my new tricks. I used to have parties at my house all the time. Its a great house with big rooms and a pool table, the perfect batchler house.
I could not wait until my cousin would come to visit for me to show him. We planed a vacation for him to visit July 11th 03. The preparation was being done for this all out party week when he comes.
I told my cousin about us partying and how I am gonna show "HIM" how to party, He laughed and told me " You cannot teach the master, especially when I TAUGHT YOU "
I laughed about it with him, and told him in reality we are not gonna party that crazy..
July 11th came and I scheduled a big party at my house to surprise him. About 6pm he called me from the airport to tell my I booked his flight for the wrong day, he was pissed and so was I.
He called me back in about 10 minutes to tell me he negotiated a way to still get here that night, only he was going to land at about midnight, not a problem as long as your coming Cous, I said.
I picked him up from the airport, and drove to my house, he was so surprised on how big it was, and asked what all the cars are here for. I told him its a welcome party for you He loved it, we got into my house and started to party, He was going around and saying hi to all my friends, he was the most out going person I think I ever met. We partied till about 6am that day, and were going to South Beach that night, I told him to end the partying and get to sleep. Me and my G/f Went to bed, My cousin still partied till about 11am with my sister and some of her friends, Finally I think he passed out, on my couch.
I got up a few times to get some water, and noticed him sleeping AND SNORING LIKE A BEAR, I also don't think I met someone that snored as much as him. I brought my G/F out there just for her to listen..
It was about 3pm and time to get up, My G/F and I took a shower and snuggled some more in bed, About 7pm I walked her out, so we can get ready for South Beach, Only to walk out of my room to a Nightmare and a life changing experience. My cousin, my love, was still on the couch, but no longer snoring, I stood there at my bedroom door for a split second and new something was wrong. I went nuts and pan aced really bad, I rushed over to him, to find out he was not breathing and throw up was hanging out of his mouth. My G/F was already on the phone with 911 while I was doing CPR, The scariest part about this is I new it was too late, He was cold and his tongue was white. I continued till the paramedics got there ( About 3 minutes after the call, Props to those guys )
Well at about 9pm they declared him dead, I could barley breath at this point and pretty much fainted, I was not able to talk to anyone and especially my Aunt and Uncle, I was sure my Uncle would take is standard issued 9mm and shoot me dead.
Its been 5 months since this happened, no my uncle did not shoot me, though they have some anger which is normal we still all love each other very much.
Its been very tough, but allot of phycotrist help,and friends is slowly getting me back into life.
That hole that I had when I was young and filled it up, has only come back again, only this time can never be replaced.
My cousin was only 23 years old when he died and had so much going for him, a great job ( Con-Ed for you NY people ) a Great G/F, a loving family, and SO MANY FRIENDS ( over 1000 people at his funeral )
Christmas is coming and I thought I might share this with some of you people, My guilt is still there, not as bad but its there, and especially with christmas coming. Everyday things hurt me, Kissing my own mother brings guilt to my mind, only knowing how my aunt would love to just kiss her son one more time.
On a side note, my mustang which I put away during the first year of my house, has saved me, since then I really devoted my time AND MONEY to this thing to keep my mind busy.
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