The George Carlin quote thread.

[jerseyboy]

The great thing about George Carlin is I can sit back and relax while he's saying all the things that need to be said about the ****ed up world we live in. Carlos Mencia is good for that too.

[Atomini]

Reminds me of something my third grade teacher said to us, she said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from guatamala".

[Renesis]

This one is my favorite "Every joke needs one thing to be way out of proportion.
Give you an example. Did you ever see a news story like this in the paper?
Every now and then you run into a story, says, "some guy broke into a house, stole a lot of things, and while he was in there, he raped an 81 year old woman."
And I'm thinking to myself, "WHY??? What the **** kind of a social life does this guy have?"
I want to say, "why did you do that?" "Well she was coming on to me. We were dancing and I got horney.
Hey, she was asking for it, she had on a tight bathrobe." I'll say, "Jesus Christ, be a little ****ing selective next time will you?"

[Atomini]

What is all this shit about Angels? Have you heard this? Three out of four people now, believe in Angels. What're you, ****in' stupid? Has everybody lost their ****in' minds in this country? Angels, shit. You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive collective psychotic chemical flashback of all the drugs. All the drugs, smoked, swallowed, snorted, shot, and absorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990. Thirty years of adulterated street drugs'll get you some ****in' Angels, my friend.