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Originally Posted by
Sir Victorian guy, V.C.
Brothers,
A truly new and amazing method of cycling and training has been exposed to me recently...and I have to share this with all my Iron Warrior Brothers. George Spellwin is at this moment, no doubt, capitalizing on this- so before you pay him $99.99 for this info, allow me to 'let you in' on these secret oriental cycling methods.
It was all revealed to me a few weeks ago. While training in the gym, with my stalwart training partner and chauffeur, Nobby, we were watching a scrawny little bucktoothed, coke-bottle glasses wearing Jap doing squats with 135 pounds, screaming with every rep. He saw us watching (and laughing at) him, and the little yellow fiend came waddling up to us and began his pidgin-English tirade...Nobby and I were about to tear him limb from limb, but decided he was too amusing to begin beating right away.
"You Eengweesh...beeg men, but too beeg. You do not know how to twain and take stewoid...I am Sabuwo. I am samuwai bodybuiwder..." he babbled, then raised his 10 inch arms in a double-biceps pose to show us what real development meant. "Two tousand miwwigrams of test ebery day..." he sneered, pointing to his 'ripped' 130 pound body.
"You stoopid. You do not twain wight!" he snarled.
"Well then, my samurai friend..Saburo it is? Show us westerners how it is done then, brother!" I roared
He reached into his training bag, and took out a headband with the Rising Sun on it. He carefully tied it around his head. Then he reached back in, and pulled out two fully-loaded 10cc syringes. He held one in each hand, closed his eyes and began muttering, like some insane buddhist monk, and then slammed both syringes into his chicken legs and injected, screaming the whole time.
I was stunned. Now THAT was bloody hard-core, mates!
While he was in this intense state of mind, Nobby crept over to the squat rack, where the Jap fellow had left the bar, loaded with 1 plate per side, ready for his next set. While Saburo was meditating, psyching himself up for his 135 pound set of squats, Nobby quietly added 4 more plates to each side, snickering under his breath as he did so.
Saburo was standing there, eyes closed, saying some bizarre Japanese prayer, then suddenly opened his eyes and, screaming 'BANZAI!!!" ran at full speed over to the squat rack, unracked the bar- without realizing it now weighed 495, and with a loud snapping noise collapsed under the weight, and crumpled to the floor, along with the bar, with an apocalyptic earth-shattering crash!
His body lay, snapped like a twig, legs sprawled in unnatural positions, and his low moaning indicated he was still alive. Nobby and I began roaring with laughter- "That's for Hong Kong back in 41, you Jap bastard!!" I screamed, kicking his limp form. Nobby pulled his bike chain out and began beating Saburo, screaming "FOOKIN BASTAAHHD!" with each mighty wallop. We left him, barely clinging to life, smothered on the floor beneath the bar.
We took his gymbag, which was full of gear- tasty Japanese anabolic treats like primo, test, etc, and headed out the gym, laughing so loud that it echoed across the universe.
Anyway, any of you bros tried such insane injecting procedures? Or two thousand mg's a day? Good Lord!!
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