Associate Member
this thread really caught me off guard, i was not expecting this at all.
Obs, you and i havent spoken directly but ive read a fair number of your posts and i can tell youre a good dude. youre right though, in the end were all terminally ill and dying, just some are not aware of this fact. i believe that reality is far more complicated than what we can perceive, and that death is not the end, but a new beginning.
Neurologically Intact
HOLLY ASS! I just found u on TikTok
U have 5 kids?
Senior Member
Ha ha ha...!!!Originally Posted by < <Samson> >
Well, there's a guy who is doing his part to right the white race demographic problem.
Changed Man
I was a mother fucking badass at some point in my life.
Morale Officer (de facto)
Actually you don't even need to place it on your chest, you just put the wireless charger spots around your bedroom:
Morale Officer (de facto)
We're all going to fizzle out before we depart.
Okay full disclosure: A few of us are lucky enough to drop dead in our prime and are forever remembered as a thoroughbred, but for most of us there comes a day when we swap out the 5W30 for the 10W40.
There are worse ways to go out, multiple sclerosis and alsymers. Having your mind intact at the end is a blessing.
When you get to the other side, I don't know how it works there, but if you are given 'mercy credits', please out one on Thomas's account, I'm gonna get a serious bollocking at those pearly gates.
I think there's a decent chance you'll still be around for the mass-produced artificial heart though. It has a magnetic recharger you place on your chest (sort of like how you can charge your phone wirelessly).
VET
I wish you the best of luck OBS. May God be with you.
Changed Man
I'll get back in here later on to answer stuff.
It's fucking funny this is happening to me.
The stress test report said "stress test imaging was difficult to see clearly secondary to body habitus"
I asked the doctor what that meant and he said your pecs are too thick.
The question is if they figure out how to see better are they going to find more shit wrong?
I have to go to work today and I am not up to it.
At least it's going to be a cooler day but I was back in the hospital this weekend because of work.
Superbowl XLIX Champs!
Have you got another doctor's opinion on the heart failure result? Doctors are wrong with their diagnosises a lot of times.
Knowledgeable Member
first, congrats on the news.
second, go see the cardiologist, ER docs rush everything, if you don't have insurance hit me up. That being said u have fucking destroyed urself for years, for the love of god, cut the shit man. Clean it up, you clearly say u found the love of ur life yet will not make change to sty around for her, and they are easy changes u can make. enough of the tough guy shit. u are fucking dying and it can be slowed down but cigs and beer is more important?
Obs, you know I love you, please take this serious, the world is great, and u are great.
Changed Man
A lot of what I said was bullshit and it was me talking smack trying to keep up and trying to be this big massive son of a bitch. I almost got there. I chased my pro card so hard and my business it was stupid.
Even my doctor told me and he was right it's not the steroids that killed me it's every fucking thing else I did and I've been preaching this for a minute now. Everyday you wake up ready to kill shit because your men. You are the top 1% of men and I'm so glad I've known you guys you have been the privilege of my life.
Just think about this for one second watch this video and listen to Rich piana's words.https://youtube.com/shorts/bhkUagG51...veF7AcLJttvhd8
We're all going to die. A natural Born killer is going to run himself in the ground fast. It ain't the steroid just the lifestyle.
Rest in peace Rich Piana.
If somebody gets the chance before I close my eyes I want you guys to tell Sil....
I love you and I'm going to fuck you up on the other side you fucking fagot ass bitch.
Changed Man
You guys know who you are if you're my guys. I just want you to know I love you and I think you can already feel that. It was time I begged for this and I got what I wanted. There is so many of you guys I wish I could have met in person and just give you a big old hug and I'm never going to be able.
Changed Man
4173629707
Changed Man
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Your neck of the woods looks a lot like mine.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
Changed Man
AG if you'll give me a call I would appreciate it
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Sure thing
I'm on my 12 hour shifts, but could call you Wednesday or Thursday?
What time of day/night is good for you?
Putting the number you posted in my contacts now.
Last edited by almostgone; 08-29-2023 at 02:00 AM.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
You'll be hearing from me over the next 2 days.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
Morale Officer (de facto)
Call Kimbo before you die . . . if only just to be able to say that you actually conversed with that fucking weirdo . . . I'm a privilege.
Neurologically Intact
Not much to add, really
But, it’s true - it’s the lifestyle. I have no actual idea of how I’m still alive & intact
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
I've thought about this a lot over the years. I know everyone has their own beliefs, but I honestly think it isn't just luck of the draw. I think there's a reason we're here.
I don't know if there's things we're meant to do, places we're meant to go, family/ people we're here to take care of.....but God has a reason we're here.
For example, let's add up your health issues, Obs's health problems, and mine. You could take the total of those problems, divide them among 6 (or more) other people, and those people wouldn't make it. Yes, all 3 of us as stubborn as an old jackass ( which can be a good thing). My gut just tells me we're not just here by pure luck.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
Knowledgeable Member
man I just watched that video...
Obs, U no I have nothing but love for you but this is fucking stupid. You are not even trying to live. This looks like a call for help buddy. I have my own thoughts as to what you may have or not been on in that video but I don't believe it was a clear mind.
you need to go to specialists and get everything properly done. ER doctors do not dig enough. You can live for many, many more years.
Fuck man, go down swinging, try to beat this shit or at least prolong it.
And fuck rich, guy was a piece of dogshit.
Morale Officer (de facto)
I perceived him to be in a state of mental distress. I've been worse than that in the past when stone cold sober. Stress can put you in that mindframe.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
That's what I mean by stubborn. If you get knocked down, get knocked down swinging every time.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
Senior Member
They find your spent corpse, in a pile of brass, surrounded by dead enemies.
Watching the clip you posted Obs; you sound like you've got a lot of years ahead of yourself; don't give up the ghost.
Anabolic Member
Thought the very same thing but for different reasons. But then again; good or bad, it is who it is . . . Continued good wishes Obs, but damn it, you don’t get a definitive diagnosis from ER, you just don’t. They’re triage, they don’t let you die that moment & you go to a specialist who knows.
As always, your vids are raw emotion (and that makes them incredible to watch) but after watching twice could kind of get a gist of your story. Any chance for a translation?
Knowledgeable Member
shut up kimbo
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Obs, I have to run into town this afternoon to hit the pharmacy, feed store, etc. I'll call you then. I don't get a good cell signal out in the country, so I'll call from town where the signal is good.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
"ARs Pork Eating Crusader"
I don't know wether or not you a saved but hopefully soon you will be high fiving Jesus.
Changed Man
AG I had pr numbers blocked but not now. You can delete those messages with my phone number and I won't mind one bit.
My point was in this whole idea that we run out chasing things demanding our way.
We will destroy ourselves just trying to reach our dream. That dream is never going to be good enough and we will kill ourselves in the process.
I'm trying to learn how to be calm and I don't know how. Everybody wants the killer and they want the nice guy. I never learned how to control my anger.
The PTSD and especially depression is so bad right now my heart physically hurts.
I unblocked private calls.
I'm fed the f up with life and death.
I am not ignoring anyone I read you guys' stuff I got to go to town real quick I'm not sure when I'll get back to answering.
Calm has never been in my nature and if it was it was when I was about 7 years old.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
I'll still get in touch with you. I'm back to a string of 12 hr days (really 14-15 hr days with travel), but my first day off or if I can catch some slack time at work, I'll give a ring, shoot you a text or something.
Have you been able to find a cardiologist with a good rep yet? Not trying to sound like a broken record, but you really need to be evaluated by one.
You've got a lot of people that care about you here.....don't forget that.
....and yes, I'm what some people call "rough around the edges" and I may look like hell on earth, but I do pray.... sometimes frequently throughout the day. Know that you're included in those prayers, man.
Do you still run Wickr on your phone? I'm still using mine.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
Morale Officer (de facto)
Meditation can help with that. I think this place is about a 5 or 6 hour drive from you:
https://pakasa.dhamma.org/
Associate Member
I have something to add to this as it is something which is personal to me. This is something I cant tell the people I know, but I'll share it here because I know you bros can relate.
We chose this lifestyle of using and abusing performance enhancing drugs knowing full well there will be consequences later in life. Most of us likely had the intention of doing things responsibly and mitigating health risks. Some, myself included eventually stopped caring and focused solely on the results. That desire to be the very best, the top 1%, and ironically the further we go down that path the further it seems we are from achieving that goal. Even though we know in the back of our minds we have achieved alot, its never good enough. It feels like there is no other option but to blast harder, take ephedra and caffeine on an empty stomach until the room is spinning. Dry heaving over the toilet but heres nothing in my stomach, and all I can think is how bad do you want that perfect 6 pack? Ramming needles into my leg and eating dbol and anadrol like its candy thinking I dont care, I need this.
Achieving physical perfection is a defining characteristic of who we are, and it is the most important thing in the world. Walking past a sexy girl with her boyfriend, you arrogantly look her directly in the eyes and she eye fuks you and lets out a sexual moan. Or going to a restaurant, a sexy girl notices you, and chooses to sit directly in front of you. She unzips her hoodie, pulls it back and sticks her chest out revealing that shes only wearing a thin white tank top and no bra underneath, obviously putting a show on for you. Getting confrontational with other guys, raising your voice and staring them down. You see the look of fear in them and they cower and run away. You
didnt even have to threaten them or do anything physical, your appearance alone was intimidating enough.
We all die eventually, and there is no way around that. We have done things which have inevitably shortened our lifespans, but the reward of being the elite 1% was worth it. For some there wasnt even a choice to begin with. This is who we are, we chase perfection at any cost. There is no fear, and no regret.
Morale Officer (de facto)
I see a distinction between "who we are" and "our current psychological disposition".
I'm so different from how I was 10 years ago. I was actually very surprised about a month ago when I went to a Summer creative writing event and I met a woman there who had seen me at Open MIC nights . . . In our conversation I told her that I competed in boxing and she surprisingly said "I would never have thought you'd be into boxing, you're such a Zen and gracious character". To have someone refer to me in such terms when it was only 8 years ago I was getting off my face, crashing cars, getting arrested and smearing a cell with shit.
Most crazy bastards aren't consciously aware of what makes them a crazy bastard. These things sit below the surface level of the mind and keep us vibrating so that we can never just be tranquil and still. We might from time to time dwell on a family member's suicide, or a parent's cancer, or a sibling's car crash, but for the most part we just feel the way we feel and aren't really aware of the root cause.
Anyway mediation has done me a lot of good. I'm not saying it will work for everyone but it's something to try. Destroying your health to attain a goal of any kind is not 'who you are'. I can become your identify -- but even then, paradoxically, our identity isn't even who we are.
Superbowl XLIX Champs!
Nobody believes any of your stories. Seriously, why do you even come here?
Associate Member
I'm not going to treat this as a farewell.
You've met people miles and miles apart online who would definitely jump into a bar fight at any American bar to defend you, rest assured of that.
I'm not going to stay here with rodeos and sentimentality, but know that brothers and companions don't need to be close to us, they are in our thoughts and hearts for every kind gesture we provide to people without having the dimension of it.
Live for today my brother, fuck tomorrow, may my positive energy cross the oceans kilometers of meters of distance between us.
Anabolic Member
Obs, have you ever been treated for depression or anxiety with medication? SSRIs helped me get over panic attacks years ago and carry the added benefit of reducing depressive symptoms. When I started taking them, I didn’t realize I was even depressed because it had been my regular mood for so long. After a few weeks on the medicine my panic attacks simply went away and I became almost a new person.
From reading a lot about depression and ADD, the problem seems to be that neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and others get metabolized too quickly in the synapses between neurons. In neurotypical people, the neurotransmitters hang around longer. What this means is that the connections between neurons are less stable and therefore the ability to focus or not let negative thoughts manifest is decreased. Dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, is also decreased. SSRIs are what they stand for, ie reuptake inhibitors, meaning that they allow these neurotransmitters that regulate thoughts and emotions to hang around longer.
For people like you and me, it’s a struggle to maintain focus and satisfaction, that’s why we turn to drugs and alcohol. It’s simply a way of coping by self medication. Some of us have it harder than others, and life circumstances can amplify symptoms. The problem is that drugs and alcohol are only a temporary fix that end up causing long term harm in many cases.
The fact that we are on this forum could be an indication that many of us lack that inherent peace of mind and satisfaction “regular” people experience from everyday life.
I strongly suggest anyone suffering to see a good psychiatrist and get evaluated. Obs, you’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety long before discovering your heart issue. You could say that the depression and anxiety have caused you to make life decisions that have impacted your physical health. That’s why I think it’s a good idea to fix not only your physical health with medications, diet, lifestyle changes, etc, but also your mental health. Our minds define our outlooks and everything we perceive.
We all care about you and want to see you recover and thrive. I want the same for everyone on here. I hope you consider what I’m saying if you haven’t already done so. Take care of yourself bro. Don’t mean to sound preachy or make this a science lesson, either. Just trying to provide some ideas with context.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Dumpster fire. Will archive in a bit.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Correction....I'm not going to ditch OBS's thread. That's not fair to him.
I will go through and remove any posts that cross the line with disparaging remarks about family members
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
Ok. Cleaned up. I've noticed a habit of dragging people's family members into this and other threads recently.
Guys, let's please drop that habit. Even if you despise someone, let's get out of the habit of dragging their family into the melee.. It does no one any good and really isn't the best look for the forum.
I've cleaned up a recent thread also, so let's start with a clean slate, please.
If you disagree, that's fine. Take it up with * Admin* and they may decide I'm being overzealous and reverse my edits.
Thanks!
Last edited by almostgone; 09-05-2023 at 06:42 PM.
There are 3 loves in my life: my wife, my English mastiffs, and my weightlifting....Man, my wife gets really pissed when I get the 3 confused...
A minimum of 100 posts and 45 days membership required for source checks. Source checks are performed at my discretion.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote