hope everything is sweet!
Anabolic Member
hope everything is sweet!
Female Member
wow, sorry for ur pain.
*having been cheated on, and cheated as well, also being a councelor, I would like 2 offer some advice...
any form of threat or violance will back fire, and give them a common enemy, possibly land u in jail, cost u money...and make u look like a total tool. (realy, we r adults here)
she cheated, yup....happenis 2 us all and we all do it 2 others. doesnt make her a crappy person, or u, if u decide 2 stay w her. It just means ur relationships in crisis and its time 2 man up and face the reasons y she is unhappy enuff 2 let another man mean anything 2 her.
sounds 2 me like what ever u 2 had...is gone 4 her.
You can most certainly get it and her back, u just need 2 clearify 2 urself wether u serioiusly want tha,t than dedicate urself 2 it.
We ladyz need a lot of verbal communication (what ever ur love language is...amp up the conversations with her). it has 2 become ur job 2 reminder her what she loves about u...she 4got, u wernt around 2 show her or communicate with her.
explain how u feel (slowly an calmly an quitely =this will make her pay attention and focus on what ur saying)
explain y u think u feel this way (DONT at any point state that she made u feel this way...or she will close off eveything else said, c u as a selfish prick and become defensive)
and what ur intentions r now (ex. i want us 2 comit 2 us and I need ur imput cuz its our relationship and we need 2 fix this 2 gether) or (ex. i cant move past ur betrail, i am sorry what we had was not what u needed...this is now my plan 2 leave this relationship bhind me...)
once u have had the chance 2 get it all out, u can move 4ward. Dont bring it up again with her, but...
she will want 2 talk alot about the pit falls that drove u guys here...just nod, repeat her, agree with her.......(its our way of processing our feelings and thoughts) she already knows that what she did was shitty and she was wrong 2 do it, u dont need 2 remind her. she will realy admirer u 4 listening, not making her feel like crap and and she will start 2 c u 4 who u r instead of an angry man. (cuz how can u work on a future with some1 when u think they hate u and r angry with u...)
think about it
maybe try it
what ever u do....
do what is best 4 u
best of luck and love
AR's Whore D'Oeuvre
This does not work if you have a wife thats bi-polar or suffers obviously from something because of her scarred childhood. In her moments of weakness she will tell me that she will probably never be happy. She doesn't mean she isn't a good person, she said she means as far as her relationships are concerned and it's probably due to how she is raised. She refuses medicine, she refuses therapy.Originally Posted by 4love
wow, sorry for ur pain.
*having been cheated on, and cheated as well, also being a councelor, I would like 2 offer some advice...
any form of threat or violance will back fire, and give them a common enemy, possibly land u in jail, cost u money...and make u look like a total tool. (realy, we r adults here)
she cheated, yup....happenis 2 us all and we all do it 2 others. doesnt make her a crappy person, or u, if u decide 2 stay w her. It just means ur relationships in crisis and its time 2 man up and face the reasons y she is unhappy enuff 2 let another man mean anything 2 her.
sounds 2 me like what ever u 2 had...is gone 4 her.
You can most certainly get it and her back, u just need 2 clearify 2 urself wether u serioiusly want tha,t than dedicate urself 2 it.
We ladyz need a lot of verbal communication (what ever ur love language is...amp up the conversations with her). it has 2 become ur job 2 reminder her what she loves about u...she 4got, u wernt around 2 show her or communicate with her.
explain how u feel (slowly an calmly an quitely =this will make her pay attention and focus on what ur saying)
explain y u think u feel this way (DONT at any point state that she made u feel this way...or she will close off eveything else said, c u as a selfish prick and become defensive)
and what ur intentions r now (ex. i want us 2 comit 2 us and I need ur imput cuz its our relationship and we need 2 fix this 2 gether) or (ex. i cant move past ur betrail, i am sorry what we had was not what u needed...this is now my plan 2 leave this relationship bhind me...)
once u have had the chance 2 get it all out, u can move 4ward. Dont bring it up again with her, but...
she will want 2 talk alot about the pit falls that drove u guys here...just nod, repeat her, agree with her.......(its our way of processing our feelings and thoughts) she already knows that what she did was shitty and she was wrong 2 do it, u dont need 2 remind her. she will realy admirer u 4 listening, not making her feel like crap and and she will start 2 c u 4 who u r instead of an angry man. (cuz how can u work on a future with some1 when u think they hate u and r angry with u...)
think about it
maybe try it
what ever u do....
do what is best 4 u
best of luck and love
Since she has left me, she is now a nurse and her family after 26 yrs seem to accept her and be proud of her, even tho they never did SHIT to help us. Think thats going to have a positive affect on her relationships? I say no. Not until she accepts she needs some kind of help. Everything she wants, or you do for her causes a temporary happiness. Even our new place we got months before she left, she had to have it, loved it all for like 3 months then couldn't stand it.
Knowledgeable Member
Wow, you just described my 2nd wife. After our divorce she did admit it was ALL her fault. Bi Polar is a BAD thing and worse when they wont admit they have a problem or take medication.
Yes an update is needed....
Last edited by lovbyts; 09-20-2010 at 12:44 AM.
AR's Whore D'Oeuvre
Her family Dr diagnosed her as bi-polar just based off her saying she had highs and lows or some shit like that. Not that I disagree, but she does. Anyway there is something wrong inside of her for her to not have the ability to be happy with anyone. I mean from the minute we started dating I was the greatest thing she could ever ask for, but so was everybody else probably.
I think she is bi-polar, definitely. I also think a lot of her problems stem from her neglected childhood, and abuse, cheating etc. Nowadays she has her 'dream job', and her father who never had shit to do with her, he actually does now. They have helped her quite a bit since the separation. However, I don't expect this to make her relationships happy, as she just gets bored. Plain and simple. I used our new home as an example. Then there was church, she HAD to find a good church to go to, we did, and she loved it. She would take sermons home and listen to them on CD etc...it lasted about 4 months, and no more church. It just seems there is something really missing inside of her.
Associate Member
****.. i can relate but not on the cheating part.. me and my girl have been together since aug 07 and last christmas we had a point where she said she didnt feel the same way about me anymore like when we met. *i knew, the new wore off iwas getting boring" so the next day i did something different i picked her up from school * 50 miles away* took her out made her favourite meal favourite everything.
we had a good cry after lunch and talked it out.. i understood where she was coming from from the not new anymore but wasnt as sevre as her.. so i told her i lovre her with all my heard and would do anything for her, she was my one true love and that id always take care of her no matter what we talked about our rut we were in and made a list of 20 reasons each why we want to be together and stay together and things we like about eachother and remmeber. That was a rrrrreally good day it was like a new start, we decided to start doing more of other stuff together like sports.. cooking fun shit not just sit around go to movies and eat lol. We were too close honustly like saw eachother every day atlerast once.
now we are very strong and she keeps teeling me how she is so sorry she ever felt that way and that the love is stronger than ever and she would do anything for me.
so obviously love has the chance to restart but now i face the problem of being away for 5 days a week and when i get home she misses me so bad its like love x10.
Associate Member
communication is key, if u hense any more bullshit or shes not being honust with you how can you be happy|?
Senior Member
Hope things work out for the best for you bro. I was on the road to divorce (per my choice) but agreed to go to couples counseling. My relationship with my wife has changed for the better tremendously. She no longer nags or outbursts at all. We communicate better. She is more supportive and understanding. Looks like I went from certain divorce and planned move to Vegas to saying here with my wife. I didn't think she would respond to counseling or take responsibility for her messed up behavior but she did. She has learned to listen and be patient and calm. She has learned to the notion of sometimes agreeing to disagree rather than trying to force her way/plan.
I am really, really surprised that less than a dozen counseling sessions has almost completely turned our relationship around for the better. Things are not perfect but now my wife can calmly discuss concerns and disagreements rather than ranting and all that crap. I'm proud of how much she has changed.
I do miss the hell out of having sex with lots of different women though, especially the excitement of one night stands. I'm not the type to cheat so I guess I have to be more assertive in getting her to try different things in bed for greater variety since I can't get the variety of a different chick every other weekend.....
New Member
i know emotions can be crippling, but COME ON!!! find that guy ***k him up. make it so he has to shit in a bag for the rest of his days and as for your disloyal slag of a wife. Grow some balls man where is your self respect? she is as we say in the UK "mugging you off m8" bin her and get a woman who's not a cheating whore. Get a woman who actually loves you.
Nothing to it, but to do it
Do you enjoy giving advice in threads that have ended months ago?
Do you live your sorry little life the same way and talk about the death of Elvis or assassination of Kennedy like it happened yesterday all while dressed like your headed to the 69 Woodstock?
You suck as a member of this board and probably as a member of society aswell.
AR's Whore D'Oeuvre
Member
you mean to tell me i just spent 30 min typing on an old ass thread? I suck at life......
Nothing to it, but to do it
I baked you a cakeyou mean to tell me i just spent 30 min typing on an old ass thread? I suck at life......
Member
On rare occasions I see things that really make my day better, this was one of those times...lol.I baked you a cake
Knowledgeable Member
damn newbies
New Member
@ stack it. **** you! im intitled to my opion, its easy to give it large on a forum SI, but in reality i imagine your just a say whatever type of person to fit in. i dont do that i have my own mind. but you are right on one thing i did find this thread l8 so my comments probably are l too late to matter. as for the death of elvis (definately not a fan) i dont see how you can compare that to the death of a world leader who actually made a diference to the world we live in you mug!
Nothing to it, but to do it
You should have read enough old threads by now to realize I have my own opinions and don't jus follow. I don't really see how you could say that from my post towards you considering nobody in here has said it before me. Unless someone called you out in another thread about it. If that's the case it just helps prove my point that your posts are useless and your old thread bumping is annoying. If anyone in here was just saying what others say just to fit in it's you your post just repeated what half the members in here said before you posted. Bruary wasted 30 minutes posting in here all because of your useless bump
Your comprehension skills must really suck aswell if you think I was comparing elvis and Kennedy. No where did I compare the two.
You are definitely entitled to your own opinion just as much as I am. Why not just post it in threads where your opinion would actually matter.
Btw who calls somebody a mug?
Last edited by stack_it; 12-06-2010 at 06:47 PM.
Knowledgeable Member
****Calgarian grab popcorns and watch the drama thats about to start....
~AR's Nice Guy
* Standby asks if you will share
Knowledgeable Member
*****Calgarian pass over pop corn to SB* Standby asks if you will share
Knowledgeable Member
** Calgarian whispers to SB....hey stack_it got called mug filled with pee
~AR's Nice Guy
* Standby tries to hold in this laugh but starts to cry from laughing to hard** Calgarian whispers to SB....hey stack_it got called mug filled with pee
if only he got called a donkey instead
Nothing to it, but to do it
** Stack_it over hears calgarians whisper and chuckles at the being called a mug....
** grabs handful of popcorn...
New Member
haha its no good trying to sound smart stack it, iv said what i had to say and ill leave it at that. and it is i that am calling you a mug tho i do like the added touch of mug full of pee .**** you and goodbye.
Last edited by Dominant Gene; 12-06-2010 at 08:16 PM.
~AR's Nice Guy
* looks at Cal in aw
Knowledgeable Member
** Calgarian wonders if there is a new gay guy on this forum cause he said fvck you to "the mug" twice.....
Nothing to it, but to do it
Atleast you realize that no matter how hard you try you're just not an intelligent person. Admitting you're stupid takes courage.
Anabolic Member
Well man, I am sorry to hear this story.
You are lucky that you have no kids, I got to tell you that!
Now, whatever she is doing...that is her choice man and obviosly she don't care about what you ask for. Whatever the situation is with work... is no excuse to be hooking up with some other guy. There is no way I would EVER trust her again after this... I am really surprized that you are even playing this game man. Are guys really this weak now days? I almost thought it only happens in the movies and TV shows.
Do you really want to spend your life being a spy on your wife? This is ridiculous.
The guy is a total piece of sh!t on the bottom the society we live in, as most are. As much as he deserves to be physically punished...try not to do it as it can only cause more trouble. Sh!t stinks... this is why you don't touch it.
What you need to do is:
1. Divorce your wife.
2. Tell that other guy that he is a total trash on the bottom of this society. Walk away.
3. Find a woman that cares about you.
This is what I and every man that respects himself would do.
Good luck man!
Last edited by UberSteroids; 12-06-2010 at 11:18 PM.
Knowledgeable Member
wow.......ppl r still chiming in
Nothing to it, but to do it
Yeah some people don't pay attention to the dates at all
Knowledgeable Member
i know...i only pay attention if "my side business" monthly date passed without her start bleeding
Anabolic Member
I saw the date... I just could not remain quiet on such obvious topic.
Everytime I read stuff like this... it almost damages my brain.
Knowledgeable Member
I saw the date... I just could not remain quiet on such obvious topic.
Everytime I read stuff like this... it almost damages my brain.
see thats y i always say...**** and forget and if it is a red head....fvck and run
New Member
Starting documenting and collecting as much proof of them cheating as you can. If you can hire a PI then do it. While it may be painful, you have to atleast start protecting yourself. The divorce is most likely coming and it's better to be prepared and not need it than to be blindsided too. A friend was in a similar situation but she took his house when they finally split.
Member
where is the OP? and what was the outcome I wonder?
Nothing to it, but to do it
He's in prison for murder
~AR's Nice Guy
i seen him there
Knowledgeable Member
what did u get caught having sex with DSM behind police station
~AR's Nice Guy
look at cal trying to hide what me and him were doing by throwing in dsm... sad my friendwhat did u get caught having sex with DSM behind police station
Member
What?!?!.......................................... ...................awesome!
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