tough times, or impatient?
I've been really frustrated. i think this is a really a hard time for me. I'm feeling fat, i had a blow to my ego when i found out the smith machine takes off 45LB, (not that it matters because that's for ego) i don't know what the future holds cause some stuff that happened, i was broke, got paid and now i got money on my mind (thinkin' eating is expensive, so I'm limiting myself. -bad move), and i feel like my strength is decreasing even though I've been going to the gym 5 days a week. my eating has been off. I'm super impatient right now. i realized that routine may be super important to me, but if I'm not making progress then I'm just spinning my wheels. I've been mostly power lifting lately. guy i talked to said i need to pump up the muscle. i think we was taking about making yourself sore. he's a big dude. kinda fat though. he was saying some shit about 16 reps. I've been sticking to 8 mostly. maybe I'll up the reps, but i can get good pump at around 8 reps if i use HIT. good thing is that i keep on getting sore, so i feel like I've done something at least. i took myself the the gym tonight. i feel like I'm loosing grip on things! i actually considered taking tonight off because i wanted to spend time at the crib... i want to roll into a cycle! bloods seem like they are good.... just ordered a fuck load of test undecanoate and test E. gonna start cookin some time in the next few months. got anger control issues though. hard to control. i love it and i hate it... gonna grab some dbol at some point in the next month or so as well. TB 500, CJC, and GHRP. already got me an ass load of Deca. i have to learn to control my temper... : (