tough times, or impatient?

I've been really frustrated. i think this is a really a hard time for me. I'm feeling fat, i had a blow to my ego when i found out the smith machine takes off 45LB, (not that it matters because that's for ego) i don't know what the future holds cause some stuff that happened, i was broke, got paid and now i got money on my mind (thinkin' eating is expensive, so I'm limiting myself. -bad move), and i feel like my strength is decreasing even though I've been going to the gym 5 days a week. my eating has been off. I'm super impatient right now. i realized that routine may be super important to me, but if I'm not making progress then I'm just spinning my wheels. I've been mostly power lifting lately. guy i talked to said i need to pump up the muscle. i think we was taking about making yourself sore. he's a big dude. kinda fat though. he was saying some shit about 16 reps. I've been sticking to 8 mostly. maybe I'll up the reps, but i can get good pump at around 8 reps if i use HIT. good thing is that i keep on getting sore, so i feel like I've done something at least. i took myself the the gym tonight. i feel like I'm loosing grip on things! i actually considered taking tonight off because i wanted to spend time at the crib... i want to roll into a cycle! bloods seem like they are good.... just ordered a fuck load of test undecanoate and test E. gonna start cookin some time in the next few months. got anger control issues though. hard to control. i love it and i hate it... gonna grab some dbol at some point in the next month or so as well. TB 500, CJC, and GHRP. already got me an ass load of Deca. i have to learn to control my temper... : (

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Originally Posted by Too-$mall

I've been really frustrated. i think this is a really a hard time for me. I'm feeling fat, i had a blow to my ego when i found out the smith machine takes off 45LB, (not that it matters because that's for ego) i don't know what the future holds cause some stuff that happened, i was broke, got paid and now i got money on my mind (thinkin' eating is expensive, so I'm limiting myself. -bad move), and i feel like my strength is decreasing even though I've been going to the gym 5 days a week. my eating has been off. I'm super impatient right now. i realized that routine may be super important to me, but if I'm not making progress then I'm just spinning my wheels. I've been mostly power lifting lately. guy i talked to said i need to pump up the muscle. i think we was taking about making yourself sore. he's a big dude. kinda fat though. he was saying some shit about 16 reps. I've been sticking to 8 mostly. maybe I'll up the reps, but i can get good pump at around 8 reps if i use HIT. good thing is that i keep on getting sore, so i feel like I've done something at least. i took myself the the gym tonight. i feel like I'm loosing grip on things! i actually considered taking tonight off because i wanted to spend time at the crib... i want to roll into a cycle! bloods seem like they are good.... just ordered a fuck load of test undecanoate and test E. gonna start cookin some time in the next few months. got anger control issues though. hard to control. i love it and i hate it... gonna grab some dbol at some point in the next month or so as well. TB 500, CJC, and GHRP. already got me an ass load of Deca. i have to learn to control my temper... : (

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For now, you need to be patient. You can't go on a vacation for two weeks and then come back to the dairy farm and milk the cows for 10 hours straight to make up for the lost 2 weeks that they weren't milked. Your body is a natural system. Just like those cows, they will grow and develop over a period of time. You can't compress growth/improvement into your muscles. It doesn't work and you'll be even more frustrated. Gear only enhances the natural process, it does not replace it. Hang in there and do the basics. Good diet, good training, rest, and relaxation. Relaxation is important because a calm mind affects the body. No short cuts, right? Hang in there, it will happen.

Your diet is the major foundation of mental & physical health. Gear, reps, sets and cardiovascular exercise doesn't mean shit if your diet isn't good. Eating healthy does cost more. You have one life and one body. Take care.

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Wait wait wait... what lifts are you doing on the smith machine that that extra 45 was so important!? And it’s not quite a full 45 less that bar weighs a bit.. my wife’s an expert on the smith ;) she knows

I can relate. I recently had surgery on my back and was out for 3 weeks. I probably should have rested longer, but I came back and didn't force anything. Just worked my muscles without stressing my back.

It happens to everyone. Things come and affect our lives and certain things will suffer. You'll just have to be patient and get that strength and look back. It will happen, stay positive. This is life...

Scotch and the rest you you guys are exactly right.

after a few days of feeling down in the dumps and having gotten bad news i only ended up taking 2 days off because i was out late with a friend getting their car taken into a shop for repairs. i realized that being broke sucks and that i was impatient. i increased my carb intake and water intake while keeping protein high and fat moderate. last two days in the gym were good. did shoulders all kinds of ways with forearms and abs. then the next day i did biceps all kinds of ways too. i'm glad to say that i'm sore today. for me that's an accomplishment. i used to struggle with getting sore, no matter how hard "i thought" i was pushing. i really enjoyed myself the last 2 days. today is my day off. snow storm coming. might be snowed in. maybe full body burpee session is due in my living room. i got some major bad news tonight though. my bitcoin account received a notification that it was being shutdown. i have no idea why. i'm really upset about it. didn't loose money because i had none, but i did loose a method of payment. my most important in fact. i get so upset and angry every time i think about it... cant set up the next cycle!

Glad you're feeling better. Keep going, you're going to be great. Something is going on with bitcoin accounts. I got a notification that coinbase wasn't going to allow paypal payments. I know that China has stopped bitcoin operations. I guess governments are trying to regulate the trade of bitcoins.

yea, they hate a real free markets that they can't control and manipulate. lessens the powerful grip on us because it's controlled by us. Taxes and regulation are the devil. cash is fiat and so is bitcoin. the difference is just that cash belongs to the rich and controlling. i don't need controls... it's just that i see a very good thing being destroyed for all the wrong reasons. apparently freedom is evil and we all work for the ultra rich and their companies. gonna go forget about all this at the gym now.