I served in Vietnam (4 months)
JOB APPLICATION
>
> NAME: John Kerry
>
> RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington
> DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S.
> Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement,
> CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston
> to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion,
> thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of
> fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> MILITARY: I served in Vietnam (four months). I used
> three minor injuries to get an early discharge from
> the military and service in Vietnam (as documented
> by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four
> months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane
> Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning
> Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and
> were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four
> months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something
> away in protest. Or did I? My book " Vietnam
> Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows
> how I truly feel about the military. I served in
> Vietnam (four months).
>
> COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low
> C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have
> no higher education and did not get admitted to
> Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A.
>
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: After College and Vietnam, I
> ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever
> since. I have no real world experience except
> marrying very rich women and running their companies
> vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a U.S. Senator I set the record
> for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even
> Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently
> failed to support our military and CIA by voting
> against their budgets, thus gutting our country's
> ability to defend itself. Although I vo! ted for the
> Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit
> that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece
> of legislation. I have no plan to help this country
> but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am
> elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).
> My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart,
> George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make
> little or no charitable contributions and have never
> agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in
> Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $
> 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside
> of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe.
> We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of
> labor in those Countries, although I blame George
> Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of
> Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> Although I claim to be in favor of alternative
> energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills
> o! ff Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might
> spoil our view of the o cean as we cruise on our
> yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. However, I served in
> Vietnam (four months).
>
> PERSONAL: I practice my Catholic faith whenever
> cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love
> to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the
> "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot
> Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".
>
> I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it
> reflects our real culture.
>
> I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at
> my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against
> large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame
> George! Bush for our energy problems. I served in
> Vietnam (four months).
>
>
> PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.