I've come here over the past week, lurking the forums, and noticed that there is much valuable information here. Now that I've signed up, I'd like to tell you my story and see if anybody has any ideas what happened to me and take opinnions on what I should do.
Let me begin.
18 years old. I'm what every weakling wants to be. My energy levels are through the roof. I've taken weight training through highschool, getting bigger and stronger than my peers and best friends, faster, and natural. As a sophomore in highschool at around 16 I was benching 225, power cleaning 225, push pressing 235, and maxing behind the back presses with 255. All at around 170 pounds. Got this way with basically no diet at all, just my natural test levels. I would get random erections throughout the day, at completely random times. If a girl so much gets as within touching distance that I am attracted to, massive erection. I was a master of sex. I didn't take shit from anybody, always looking for a challenge. Yet, I was a very friendly person, easy to get along with. I'd guess that my testosterone levels were HIGH, somewhere 800-1000. This is just a guess though.
The one problem, I had bad acne. Since puberty, I always had bad skin due to my testosterone and genetics from my mother for very oily skin. I've dealt with it for years, and I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I've tried everything under the sun to try and help my acne, but none of it worked.
I then made the biggest regret of my life. I asked my doctor for a prescription for Accutane.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accutane
I had to sign my life away for this shit. People have committed suicide on accutane, and it has many other side effects. I had to sign so many papers to get on it, there are hundreds of active lawsuits against the Roche corporation because of the horrible things that happen to people who are on it. I KNOW this now, wish I did back then. Nowhere in the side effect does it say lowered TEST.
Within a month, my acne was gone. Hell yeah.
It was about a month in the Accutane, and I was bored. So I decided to masturbate. Hadn't done it in a while since being on accutane. I load up the porn, whip out the lotion....hmmm...something is wrong. Weak erection. I am seriously alarmed, this has NEVER happened to me in my life. I ignore it. I tell myself it will go away once I am off accutane. I didnt want to quit and make my acne come back.
I get with a girl, a girl ive been trying to get with forever. She will be the first since I have been on Accutane. We wake up from passing out drunk at a party the night before. We make out, she starts to go down on me. I'm exstatic and nervous at the same time. Shes hot, and ive waited for this forever...there she goes...oh shit...no boner. Can't get one at all. I'm embarrassed, and pissed.
I had researched bodybuilding and the body's hormone system for a long time in highschool, I was familiar with the results of low test. I told my dermatologist to check my testosterone level. This was at the end of my 6 month accutane cycle I had just finished. He told me that any side effect would stop after I got off acctuane.
My test level was 225. At 19. I fall into a black hole. Everything that made me a man was gone. Over the next months I change. My friends can tell. I am not the man I used to be. I am depressed. I have no drive. I could sleep all damn day. No energy. No motivation. What is there to live for.
The test never went back up.
Fast forward a year later.
Here I am, talking to you guys. I've seen doctors and endocrinologists who have no idea what has caused my test to go down so low. A week ago my latest blood test have come back from my endocrinologist and my test is 380. Yes, its gone up since the beginning. I cant wait any longer. This is ruining my life.
I'm laying in bed writing this to you, about to get up and get my second week of 100mgs test cypionate. Id never though Id do steroids, but here I am. I actually do feel better even just at the end of this first week. Thank you testosterone. I want you back. For the last two years my life has been a ****ing hell hole.
I'm am planning to file a lawsuit against the Roche corporation soon. The main mechanism of how accutane works against acne is STILL UNKOWN. Well let me tell you, I know exactly how accutane works.
It lowers your natural testosterone, for good. **** THAT! I'm going to fight for every young male that had to get on this shit and had their lives ruined, or commit suicide. Can you believe that 14 year old boys would get prescriptions for this? Can you imagine how it can affect them? It makes me sick.
Am I looking forward to being on steroids for the rest of my life? No. But im not going to let my life be ruined by having low test.
Well, I've gotta head to the docs to get my second shot. I hope you enjoyed my story, sorry I dont have cliffnotes.
I'm looking forward to hearing your ideas, comments, theories. Thank you for your support.