Contemplating going back to a girl that cheated on me 6 times....help?
Ok please read before you flame and just be warned, this is a long read, I apologize, but I really want to get this off my chest its really been taking a toll on me. Three years ago I met this girl... we became best friends...and it was special sort of best friends. We wouldnt hookup but we would hang out every day, and do things like watch tv and lay together or wash cars, play oldschool nintendo, stupid things like that. Initially my attraction was based on the fact that shes gorgeous, but after a while it became something more. We had been friends for 3 months before she went to italy for the rest of the summer. When she came back I was already back at college, and she called me and we started talking again... a lot. She would even fall asleep on the phone with me. One weekend I went back home and surprised her... we hooked up for the first time and I wasted no time asking her out. I had already been at college doing my own thing, but I really had feelings for this girl...so whatever. I would talk to her every night, and during the day at classes we would text message each other. I had to expand my cell phone plan to include unlimited text messaging... it was over 1000 a month sometimes. Anyway, she hung out with a really bad crowd, and was always going to clubs and bars and shit. I went out as well, but I didnt cheat on her, and when she was out and I wasnt, I sat around drinking and depressed, very depressed. I couldnt even go to sleep at night when she was out. When I came home for winter break, my best friend told me in a huge vote of confidence that she had been cheating on me. I confronted her about it, vowed to never talk to her again, and was back with her maybe a week, 2 weeks later. A few months later, i was home, and she told me she was goin to see a movie one night with her friend. I knew it was such a lie, and I found out she had been hanging out with this kid mike and they hooked up that night. Well the next night I found him at this kids house, went right up to him, socked him in the face so ****ing hard and would have continued if five of his friends didnt jump on me. He swore he had no idea we were going out and I made him call her on the phone and talk about that night. When she had said enough, i took the phone, said Hi, and she hung up. The next year was complete hell. That summer we were on and off, and she treated me like complete shit, everytime we would break up shed go back to hanging out with these kids, and even almost went out with this kid I ****IN GHATE and fought about a year ago.. it made me feel like the biggest piece of shit and Ive never felt so low in my life...never. I drank every opportunity I got, whether it be daytime or nighttime, and it sucked. Also after my first year at college, I had transferred Fordham, a school in the city that I could commute to and live at home. Not gonna lie, about 50% of that decision was based on her, and it was made before I had any knowledge of her cheating on me...so you can imagine how i felt. Well the final straw came my 2nd year into college (this year). Towards the end, she broke up with me once again claiming she needed to explore whats out there, and for the first time I didnt claw for her back. In fact, I met this girl at school a few days later, and I swear its like it was fated. The first time I met her we didnt even talk, it was at a makeup test. We talked for like a second but not even enough to get eah others names. For some reason I was thinking about her the whooole day, I even talked about her to my best friend. Im not a loser so I didnt get why I was thinking about that girl so much. Well lo and behold, she messaged me on this cool thing we have at college called 'facebook', which means she went out of her way to find out who i was. I messaged her back, we started talking, and that weekend we were hooking up. I was extremely attracted to her. My ex had been trying to contact me and talk to me, but I just completely ignored her. I felt I could finally move on. This was a girl that I had once wanted to marry, and I felt like I was finally ready to move on. I was going to the gym, doing OK in school, and I really liked the girl that I was with. For the past...4 months its been now, my ex-girlfriend has completely devoted herself to me even though Im not even with her. She had gotten rid of all her friends that I dont like, wont answer their phone calls wont talk to them. She cries to me all the time, has written... 8 letters to date, long letters. Ordered 1800 flowers to my house, and her battle cry is 'if you love something enough you wont let it go.' Her best friend tells me EVERYTHING about her, always has. And lately all i hear is how she spends days going through her box full of things ive given her, cards and such. When she first started doing this, I didnt care. I mean I cared, but I didnt see it as sincere. I was with another girl and as far as I was concerned, this bitch caused me so me pain for more than a year, and now she deserved a little. Lately her desperation has gotten out of control. I tell her im with the new girl and that she has to stop calling/texting me, because it pisses the new girl off.... and she stopped when she knows that im with her. The other night we got dinner together, first time we hung out in a while.... and she was ok for about 20 minutes and the rest of the night she was balling. When I went to drop her off she was crying too hard to send her inside past her italian father who wants to kill me bc of how upset shes been lately (not that its my fault), so i let her stay at my house while I went to the gym and she just sat there crying for 2 hours...When I got back I dropped her off under the premise that from now on, she cannot call/text, try to contact me. She just fell on the ground and started balling. It felt good at first to see her hurt, but now it really hurts me. I agreed we could talk about what have you, and lately things wth the new girl have been really bad and im thinking about breakign up with her. My ex-girl is presently everything I could have ever dreamed of in a girl, everything I wished she had been WHEN WE WERE GOING OUT. I literally have the power to control whether or not she goes out, who she hangs out with, and im not even with her and barely even speaking to her. Like I said this has been going on now for almost 4 months, and I feel the feelings starting to return. I went out there, did my thing with a new girl, and now am starting to realize that i still love my ex. She has apologized so profusely for everything that i actually forgive her, and given what shes done to me, it took a lot to forgive her. I truly feel that she is sincere in her feelings and her apology..im POSITIVE in fact...and I think I want to get back with her. I dot think she would ever hurt me again. To anyone who actually had the time to read this entire post...any advice?
