Need serious help when stating my case to the judge for visitation

[dedic8ed1]

I recently filed a motion against my kids mother for a change in visition so when I have my day in court I wanna be able to express my reasons for visition adjustment elliquently and in a educated manner.

For instance
Good morning your honor I'm here today to seek the adjustment of the court for my umreasonable visitation guidlines.From friday at 3PM to sunday to 4PM I currently have court appointed visitation with my son,at this point my vigirous work schedule does not allow me to succesfully entertain my son in a respesctful parental manner.My schedule is as follows 3rd shift my week starts from friday to tuesday from 12am to 8:25am which can not be altered at my request or court order.I pick my son up on fridays at 3pm and he's in bed by 9pm I then have to leave for work at 11pm and not return home till 8:45 at which point my son needs to have a bath and eat breakfast,then we decide what were gonna do for the day,we go out have a good time and then come 9pm he's in bed,and 2 hours later I'm off to work and have yet to recieve any sleep .On sunday the cycle repeats I try to spend as much time with my son as possible with or without sleep and at 4pm I take my son back to his mother.
So from 3pm friday to 4pm sunday"49HR sleep is nonexistant,my work performance as well as my health is suffering a great deal this has gone on for the better part of 2 years and at this point I desperatly request that my days of visitation be changed to wednesday at 3pm to friday at 4pm which are my days off.I just want to give my days off soley to spending time with my son and being the father he deserves.As far as a babysitter there is no one who is willing to baby sit on weekends nor would it be fair to my son that his father hires a baby sitter for him on the only 2 days a week he see's him.All my child support payments are current and have stayed within all court applicable guidlines.I only want to be the best father for my son I can be and at this point that's impossible.

Does this sound like an educated request I'm trying to articulate so it sounds respectful any and all suggestions welcome please help guys.

[Hackamaniac]

I think it's very well written..

[Phreak101]

It sounds good, but you have to imagine that your baby momma is gonna be trying to accomodate her own schedule, and if that means your changes are conflicting with that, the judge won't alter the visitation rights.

Have you spoken to the mother about maybe a mutually benefical change that she could live with, and THEN present it to the courts?

[dedic8ed1]

It sounds good, but you have to imagine that your baby momma is gonna be trying to accomodate her own schedule, and if that means your changes are conflicting with that, the judge won't alter the visitation rights.

Have you spoken to the mother about maybe a mutually benefical change that she could live with, and THEN present it to the courts?

Yes,but this girls mission in life is to make mine harder,she also has 2 other kids and today for instance she needed someone to watch him so she called my mom just in spite of me.

[Doc.Sust]

looks good!best of luck keep us posted

[dedic8ed1]

As far as I know she just wants her free time on weekends,but not at the expense of my health fuk that

[Phreak101]

Yes,but this girls mission in life is to make mine harder,she also has 2 other kids and today for instance she needed someone to watch him so she called my mom just in spite of me.

That's too bad, why spite the father of your children unless he deserves it...

I think your best bet would to be honest and sincere and show that you have the best interest of the child in mind by asking for this, which, from your speech, sounds like you do.

Good luck man!

[dedic8ed1]

I need good things to refuit with like with my health as a concern I can no longer do this
tell me some good things to refuit with when they try to deny me

[dedic8ed1]

That's too bad, why spite the father of your children unless he deserves it...

I think your best bet would to be honest and sincere and show that you have the best interest of the child in mind by asking for this, which, from your speech, sounds like you do.

Good luck man!

Thanks bro I'm gonna need it.

[dedic8ed1]

How can a judge deny that rite c'mon man I'm not sleeping not only is that unfair it's borders the lines of vindictive abuse.This bitch knows she can let me have him on my days off but she knows she can go to court and get whatever she wants,yeah I could get a laywer but I'm about to get my own spot there's no way I can hire a attorney to do what's called laywer mediation where the 2 laywers go back and forth to each parties trying to make compromises that's bullshit man,I guess I won the award for getting mixed up with the most miserable twot in this planets existance

[dedic8ed1]

Bump
this is really important guys c'mon everybody's opinion is essential

[gixxerboy1]

First of i wish you the best of luck. I don't know anything about this but her is what ti was thinking. If your girl is trying to fight you on this and the judge wont change the schedule can this hurt you? Can your ex of the judge say your to tired to watch him properly on the days you do have him and take that away? Or can they put i question on who is watching him while you are in work. I just want to makes sure you have an answer for anything that is thrown your way.

[KhrisiGirl]

How does your son get to your house for visitation? Do you pick him up and take him back or does she? Would you be able to pick him up during the week if the visitation were changed? She will complain about it interupting her life. Is your son in school? Will you be able to maintain his current school schedule if he is? You have to prove that changes in the custody agreement won't adversely affect his life. She will say they do.

Your focus in presenting this should be what is best for him. Your honor, I only have 48 hours a week with my son. I want those 48 hours to be of the best quality that they can be for both of us. The current custody arrangement does not afford either of us that opportunity. Then explain why, like you did above. You want to convey how it is affecting you but not make it seem like you are being selfish. She will say you just care about you and your life, blah blah blah. Your aim is to come across exactly as you are: a caring father that just wants to love his son the best he can.
I don't know if this helps or not.

[dedic8ed1]

First of i wish you the best of luck. I don't know anything about this but her is what ti was thinking. If your girl is trying to fight you on this and the judge wont change the schedule can this hurt you? Can your ex of the judge say your to tired to watch him properly on the days you do have him and take that away? Or can they put i question on who is watching him while you are in work. I just want to makes sure you have an answer for anything that is thrown your way.

I'm livivg with my brother for one more month and while I'm at work and my son is sleeping my brother and his wife is at the home,but when I move out there will be no one there while he sleeps,so this order will be in violation of law,leaving a minor home alone

[dedic8ed1]

How does your son get to your house for visitation? Do you pick him up and take him back or does she? Would you be able to pick him up during the week if the visitation were changed? She will complain about it interupting her life. Is your son in school? Will you be able to maintain his current school schedule if he is? You have to prove that changes in the custody agreement won't adversely affect his life. She will say they do.

Your focus in presenting this should be what is best for him. Your honor, I only have 48 hours a week with my son. I want those 48 hours to be of the best quality that they can be for both of us. The current custody arrangement does not afford either of us that opportunity. Then explain why, like you did above. You want to convey how it is affecting you but not make it seem like you are being selfish. She will say you just care about you and your life, blah blah blah. Your aim is to come across exactly as you are: a caring father that just wants to love his son the best he can.
I don't know if this helps or not.

I pick my son up from 1st grade when my visitation day begins and when I drop him off I meet his step father at his school which is right around the corner from there house,I gotta drive about 25 miles each way.There's no inconveneince for her she just wants her weekends free of responsibility

[IIIIIIIIIIII]

its a dirty war.. im in one too.. best of luck man.. no matter what.. always act in the best interest of the child in front of the judge.. never mention what she does wrong or anything..let her make herself look bad... just act as tho she doesnt matter... dont disrespect or sink to her level.. state your case.. let her ruin hers...

good luck man..keep me posted!

[dedic8ed1]

its a dirty war.. im in one too.. best of luck man.. no matter what.. always act in the best interest of the child in front of the judge.. never mention what she does wrong or anything..let her make herself look bad... just act as tho she doesnt matter... dont disrespect or sink to her level.. state your case.. let her ruin hers...

good luck man..keep me posted!

And gooluck to you too and thanks,it's fukd up man if you read my thread on a little about me she was the one I met when I was the man,why are the hottest girls such bags of shit,not all but most
A little bit about me

[KhrisiGirl]

There's no inconveneince for her she just wants her weekends free of responsibility

I know that and you know that but she is going to claim it. I was just saying that you need to make sure the judge knows that. Just trying to help. You seem like a loving father and I hate women that use their kids as weapons.

[pumpd4lif]

looks good bro it will all work out for u there is no reason for them to do otherwise.things will go ur way for u r doing the right thing.and in turn doing that the right thing will happen to u
and on a lighter note u kicked my ass today with that high intensity back work out bro im just feeling a little shaky now but tommorow i will feel the full rath of it rest asured

[dedic8ed1]

I know that and you know that but she is going to claim it. I was just saying that you need to make sure the judge knows that. Just trying to help. You seem like a loving father and I hate women that use their kids as weapons.

I commend you on your compassion this girl was probably the first girl that lasted more than breakfast and a kiss good bye too,I should've never kept her hanging around honey,it seems like when it's over with the relationship it's battle time when there's kids, the courts will hang on the girls every word,that's why it's hard for me to talk to girls that I'm attracted to,there all cool in the begining but piss em off once and forget about it the battle begins.I'm not gonna think like that forever I'm really still recovering from not being with my kid everyday to have a real family ya know.Dreams of being the baseball or football caoch of my kids team seem like something that will never happen for me cause if Im have to deal with this if shit goes bad I'll never put a nothr child through this again.You sound like a good girl and I appreaciate you thoughts be cool baby.

[dedic8ed1]

looks good bro it will all work out for u there is no reason for them to do otherwise.things will go ur way for u r doing the right thing.and in turn doing that the right thing will happen to u
and on a lighter note u kicked my ass today with that high intensity back work out bro im just feeling a little shaky now but tommorow i will feel the full rath of it rest asured

That's what happens when you train to grow bro I look foward to training with you more man especially now that your on again

[pumpd4lif]

That's what happens when you train to grow bro I look foward to training with you more man especially now that your on again

muhuhahahahahahah indeed

[dedic8ed1]

muhuhahahahahahah indeed

Tomorrow chest bro,And PM me next time thread jacker

[dedic8ed1]

I'm telling ya man all I need is a real good girl like this girl at my doctors office and everything would be cool

[UpstateTank]

looks very well written..good luck bro!

[dedic8ed1]

You think I should change anything these judges respect articulate argument

[dan991]

Actually, this is the wrong thing to do, and let me tell you why. First, the judge here's motion after motion, day after day, and chances are he'll be looking at a pad of paper doodling while your talking. If you "lose" his interest, you'll be starting over. This isn't an essay your reading outloud to a class of people. Keep HIM on point so you don't "lose him."

Keep in mind that if you "flood" him with too much information, he's gonna be asking you a ton of questions which you will be repeating from what you just said. Also keep in mind that the judge is just a regular "guy" so handle it more as if it were a discussion, but keep it professional.

Kinda like this:

You: Good morning your honor, I'd like to address an issue I have with my current visitation schedule with my son.

Judge: What seems to be the problem?

Now, when he asks what the issue is, address EACH ONE SEPERATELY, but let HIM ask questions between each issue. Turn it more into a conversation. If it's just a script, you're gonna lose him. Also, don't interupt a judge. Take turns speaking.

Hope that helps. I spend alot of time in court with my work. I've realized that honestly, nobody gives a shit. Your just another case file. If you start off like every lawyer out there, chances are you get treated like every lawyer. If you are personally representing yourself, keep it man to man.

Good Luck.

[dedic8ed1]

Actually, this is the wrong thing to do, and let me tell you why. First, the judge here's motion after motion, day after day, and chances are he'll be looking at a pad of paper doodling while your talking. If you "lose" his interest, you'll be starting over. This isn't an essay your reading outloud to a class of people. Keep HIM on point so you don't "lose him."

Keep in mind that if you "flood" him with too much information, he's gonna be asking you a ton of questions which you will be repeating from what you just said. Also keep in mind that the judge is just a regular "guy" so handle it more as if it were a discussion, but keep it professional.

Kinda like this:

You: Good morning your honor, I'd like to address an issue I have with my current visitation schedule with my son.

Judge: What seems to be the problem?

Now, when he asks what the issue is, address EACH ONE SEPERATELY, but let HIM ask questions between each issue. Turn it more into a conversation. If it's just a script, you're gonna lose him. Also, don't interupt a judge. Take turns speaking.

Hope that helps. I spend alot of time in court with my work. I've realized that honestly, nobody gives a shit. Your just another case file. If you start off like every lawyer out there, chances are you get treated like every lawyer. If you are personally representing yourself, keep it man to man.

Good Luck.

The judge is a woman if it matters,how do I start then.
good morning your honor I'm here today cause I beleive that if I had my son on my days off I could be more effective as a father
something like that

[dan991]

The judge is a woman if it matters,how do I start then.
good morning your honor I'm here today cause I beleive that if I had my son on my days off I could be more effective as a father
something like that

Start the same way. Keep it more on a conversation level than a dictation. I'm not sure what type of court your going to, but if had had to file a "paper motion" where you state the facts on paper, she's gonna have questions anyways. The whole point is that chances are, a few attorneys if not a bunch are going to recite motion after motion all day long. In family courts, judges seem to be more of a real person as opposed to someone that reads out of books. Family court requires more personal interaction with the defendant and plantiff compared to civil (law suit) or criminal court, where court procedures take more in account in regards to the "law." Fact of the matter is that the vistiation times, and rights you are asking for are not in a law book. By law, you have certain rights in regards to visitation. Above and beyond that, it's up to the judges personal discretion. That being said, if you treat it as a more "human" issue as opposed to a "law" issue you'll get a more human reaction. You want to keep it on a more personal level because what you have already is within the confines of the law. Above and beyond that, it's up to how the judge personally feels about the situation.

[dedic8ed1]

That's what I'm hoping bro ,I mean how could you make a father stay up for 49hrs just to see his kid ya know,thanks for your input and good luck in all you do .Ultimate fighters on so I'M chilling for the next hour but thanks bro have a good night later.

[dedic8ed1]

Nevermind I can watch the ultimatefighter on my other computer so post on

[dedic8ed1]

Chest tomorrow pupd4lif you down

[gixxerboy1]

That's what I'm hoping bro ,I mean how could you make a father stay up for 49hrs just to see his kid ya know,thanks for your input and good luck in all you do .Ultimate fighters on so I'M chilling for the next hour but thanks bro have a good night later.

I completely agree with you. BUT make it sound like its hurting your son more then you. I just don't want to sound like its an inconvenience for you that your seeing your son. That's why your trying to change it just so its better for you.

[cj1capp]

good luck , i hear you going through the same thing.

[dedic8ed1]

I completely agree with you. BUT make it sound like its hurting your son more then you. I just don't want to sound like its an inconvenience for you that your seeing your son. That's why your trying to change it just so its better for you.

It is hurting my son man I can't be the effective father I want to be if I'm dead on my feet,yeah we still do things but at the expense of my health,that ain't cool.A judge would be remiss to not grant me what I need to be an effective father because she has 2 incomes a significant other and more free time then me and also 500$ a month from my child support.


I'm being completly taken advantage of because of all the other losers in NJ who don't take care of there kids,I ain't that guy man,But the judge only knows and is sympothetic to the females needs because of the fukin losers in this fuked upv state.

[gixxerboy1]

It is hurting my son man I can't be the effective father I want to be if I'm dead on my feet,yeah we still do things but at the expense of my health,that ain't cool.A judge would be remiss to not grant me what I need to be an effective father because she has 2 incomes a significant other and more free time then me and also 500$ a month from my child support.


I'm being completly taken advantage of because of all the other losers in NJ who don't take care of there kids,I ain't that guy man,But the judge only knows and is sympothetic to the females needs because of the fukin losers in this fuked upv state.

bro i can tell your not. I know NJ sucks. I just want you to be carefull how you word it. I dont want a judge that doesnt know your a good dad to take it the wrong way. I really do wish you the best.

BTW what part of NJ you in. I'm moving back to NJ in a month or so.

[pumpd4lif]

Chest tomorrow pupd4lif you down

indeed i will do tri's while u do ur cardio .and IMO i think u should stick to the letter but that is only MO.

[dedic8ed1]

What letter,The post I started with

[pumpd4lif]

bro i can tell your not. I know NJ sucks. I just want you to be carefull how you word it. I dont want a judge that doesnt know your a good dad to take it the wrong way. I really do wish you the best.

BTW what part of NJ you in. I'm moving back to NJ in a month or so.

we both are within 15 min of each other . about 30 min from atlantic city.and yes dedcated some one made a good point above make sure u state how it is effecting ur son as of u not being able to do the things a father does with a son do to the tough schedule u have to follow

[dedic8ed1]

I think you should do tri's with me bro after you train them with me you'll never train the same again