Am I a fvckn idiot? My brothers a millionairre?!?!

Ok this is SOOO weird. You grow up with a brother, see him all the time, KNOW him, SPEAK to him almost EVERYDAY.. and have no idea he's a millionairre?

So this is the deal.

I've been looking for a job since I got out of classes for the summer, and have been really persistent in getting a job that pays well. Well, it turns out for the last month and a half I've been practically a bum, flat ass broke and unemployed.

The word goes from my mom to my brother and he gives me a call last week, he's like I got connections and will get you a job that pays well.. I'm like "sure ok thanks bro (thinking w/e he’s prob FOS)"

So today I got to this "exclusive" golf course. And this is the first time in a while I've actually had a few good hours to just actually interrogate him and what he does for a living and it was like a shocking reality when I got done caddying today for the first time in my life...

I shake my brothers hand and leave. Walk over to my car, and pull out $380 cash for **6 1/2 hours** work and am thinking "wtf just happened?" I went from flat ass broke to now having a job where I'll be making ridiculous sums of tax free cash flow caddying for millionaires. yayYYY!!! =]

And I can't deny I've never been this psyched in my life before.. but also confused at the same time.

It all suddenly clicked when we're on like hole 8 and he points out a house he's buying right off the golf course, I'm looking at it and thinking “that’s NOT a house, that’s a fvcking MANSION!!”.

2.3 million dollars he says! My brain was scrambled into pieces. I was like “how did I just happen to not realize this fact?” My brother is filthy fvckn rich.

He’s the vice president of a very large and prestigious stock brokerage firm (I don’t want to mention the name but most people would know it like they know Johnson & Johnson.)

Not only that, but this isn’t a golf course, its literally another world. I have NEVER EVER in my life been in an environment like this. Like I’ve heard the cliché “rich people are arrogant assholes” or w/e but these people are painfully nice. They’re all happy and smiling, they ALL know each other. People are yelling out business propositions to my brother from across the course.

He says there is only about 100 members at this club. Last year it was 50, but they charged $150,000 just for admission + the annual fee and when they dropped the admission fee the number doubled to a little over 100 members this year.

Its weird but this is the way they literally screen out anyone who is NOT a millionaire. We’re talking to people and he’s introducing me to all them saying “this is my little brother, he’s going to be caddying for us at the club so make sure you treat him good”.
Not to mention some of the women I saw, at a fvcking golf club/course?!?! Some could literally pass as supermodels, and I have to admit I’m rarely intimidated by a beautiful woman but their status alone was making my knees shake.

And it’s all clicking in my head.. most of these women are the wives of their wealthy male counterparts. Maybe they’re a bunch of gold digging hot ass money hungry whores in reality, but I’ve never been around such nice & just friendly people in my life. I’m just your average middle class white boy lol. Than my brother went on to explaining that his whole career stemmed off from his caddying job when he was my age. That’s when he finished up his BA and he was caddying for rich people.. he met a lot of wealthy people. And one of them pulled him into a firm which he quickly worked his way to the top of.

But idk just a REALLY weird day. Like it was one of the most random things in the world. To be related to someone, to be the same flesh and blood, and not realize something sooo obvious about them. I came home and first thing I asked my mom was “is [my brothers name] a millionaire?” And she says “yeh” so nonchalantly. So I’ve been on this rant ever since and had to post it here lol.

Just like a form of culture shock I guess. One thing I do know is I’m gonna make a SHITLOAD of $$$ this summer (and through out fall too prob). And I also know I’m gonna kiss ass like I’ve never kissed ass before and milk these m/fkrs for ever penny they’ve got. =]

Sweet deal man! Take advantage, and by all means don't do anything to screw it up.

i hate you...lol

that sounds great dude, i hope you are proud of your bro. He has done very well for himself. You will be mixing with many others that have also, you may get one hell of a break. Good luck

Agreed...be proud of your brother. He may have used this caddy job to get in the door..but trust me...he's doing something right if he's a VP at a brokerage firm. Enjoy the job..make lots of friends and connections...and if your brothers willing to give you some advise..TAKE IT! Good luck..

Nice DHV bro lol I'm ready to lick your ballz

Sounds good. What is the age gap between you and your bro. Go to school and get some kind of an education and use his connections in the future. You only will want to caddy for so long.

network, network, network... I've also had the oppourtunity to go to one of those exclusive golf clubs. I was invited by a very wealthy business man whom I pitched a business idea over "brunch" as they call it.. lol.. It truely is mind blowing how rich ppl spend their time.. they dont do shit all day! lol.

u lucky fvcker

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Originally Posted by Schmidty

u lucky fvcker

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I'm sure he will give you a nice tip if you wash his balls nicely

so Bojangles when you are 32 are you gonna recomend a pitching wedge or a nine iron to the millionare you are carying the clubs for?

It is great money now, but man get an education, do somthing great with yourself!

Keep this job while you can in school. Have your brother get you a job behind a desk making that kind of money! Lets just hope he isn't down here in south jersey cause i may have to steal that job out from under you on the weekends!

Shit that much money in such a little time... I'd f'n love that hahaha... wayyyyyyyyyy more $$$ than I get from the army :( lol

Do they need a doorman?

I was a caddy through high school and some of college in the summers at a very nice club where they hold a PGA event at every year. Some of the people are very cool and will tip extremely well and then I get some arrogant jerks that would give me $10 bucks.

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Originally Posted by lpicken

Sounds good. What is the age gap between you and your bro. Go to school and get some kind of an education and use his connections in the future. You only will want to caddy for so long.

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No absolutely, I am in college persuing a phd in psych but Im yet to get my BA still.
My brother is about 42 and I just turned 25, I know its a large age gap. He's my oldest brother and I'm the youngest in the family, out of 4 older brothers total.

But I agree with everyone, this is just a temporary job until I get my foot in the door doing psychotherapy, but this is def a nice place to be working currently and the money is great.

Im just really psyched and if I meet some kind of connect cool, if not no big deal. I may be the only one to beat out my brother anyway because Im the only one in my family who's going for the phd.

I know being around rich ppl will be the extra bit of motivation I could use, like a nice little boot in the ass to keep me headed in the right direction. Perhaps a little quicker now. =]

ide carry a rich guys clubs for that kind of money. the only offer ive ever gotten like that was to escort a coke dealers wife around for 1500 a week...but i would have had to carry a gun. oh yeah and i got this proposition in jail. i guess thats not really a compairable offer at all.

man, really fascinating story dude...........

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Originally Posted by thetank

ide carry a rich guys clubs for that kind of money. the only offer ive ever gotten like that was to escort a coke dealers wife around for 1500 a week...but i would have had to carry a gun. oh yeah and i got this proposition in jail. i guess thats not really a compairable offer at all.

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do tell! lol.

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Originally Posted by thetank

ide carry a rich guys clubs for that kind of money. the only offer ive ever gotten like that was to escort a coke dealers wife around for 1500 a week...but i would have had to carry a gun. oh yeah and i got this proposition in jail. i guess thats not really a compairable offer at all.

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Yeh see the funny thing is I had to do a good amount of state time myself, and you know in state you get paid at most like $1.85 a *day*.

That was like 3 years ago in my life. And now I'm making 1,435 X's that amount lol.

My head is still spinning, I'm thinking about all kinds of shit I can do with the $$ but I figure best thing to do is to learn how to save and get my bank funds stocked up nicely. I mean I can even imagine how much $$ I can save in a year (depending on how much I work)

It really is just awesome, I kept telling myself I'd rather be a broke bum than go back to some retail job or some BS job I'm not gonna like or won't pay well, maybe I was being cocky (like I'm worth more than that crap) but I'm SOOO greatful this has happened. I obsess about $$ and never having enough (even though I still live at home) But its just one of the coolest things in the world to have a legit job that pays so good, especially when I'm still in college and will be for many more years. It'll give me a good enough time to get my $$ situation situated, than once (if ever) I get my phd I won't have to worry about financial problems in the future and will have more than enough money to pay off debts (schools paying for most as it is now) and probably enough left over to move out and start a real life.

I never intend on getting rich in life, but I really do worry on a daily basis about being one of those people who works from paycheck to paycheck (like my other brother) and doesn't have a penny to spend on themselves.

But I'll take it day by day and just be fortunate I've been offered this opportunity and I never can say I actually look forward to going to work as much as I do with this job.

Before it was something I'd just wake up and do. Now I wake up with a smile on my face and know I'm really doing something productive with my life, and thats just really an awesome feeling.

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Originally Posted by unclemoney

do tell! lol.

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haha im not a seasoned criminal or anything..i was only "inside" for a week..LOL....a friend of mine got peppersprayed for being the black guy in a crowd basically, i yelled at the cop, he told me to step back, i continued yelling at the cop..got tackled and arrested(didnt raise my hand or suggest any threat, just spoke my mind) then i didnt appear for prints and pictures, cause i didnt know i was suppose to go get finger prints and pictures, got slapped with a breach, and a 10 oclock cerfew..got caught moving..and it was past 10, so i got another breach, thats what landed me in jail...after the degrading get naked then bend over and cough for 4 officers routine i was shipped into the jail, put in a cell with 9 other inmates, 5 bunk beds and 10 guys per cell..i was shittin my pants as i walked in there, and immediately had someone take my pudding, and shove 2 fingers in it looking for his "shipment" but after that it was pretty awesome given the situation..based on my appearance i guess they assumed i was the guy you dont **** with in jail..i was around 240 lbs(my biggest ever) with a shaved head right to the skin and a beard..anyway i actually got a-lot more respect in jail then i expected..sometimes i forget what kind of first impression i can give people. they called me "king kong"..haha..after a couple days i actually had 2 inmates on thier knees infront of me pulling towels down while i curled them to add resistance..hahahahaha...it was all good to them tho i was teaching them how to workout with what they had in the cell, and after a couple days i had gotten to know everyone and vice versa..when i told them i was an animation student one of them cut me off and was like "woah, so you can draw..like you can draw well?" while he digs in his bunk 'cubbie' hole and gets a pencil and paper
and i was like "uh..yeah i guess..why do you have a request or something?" i was joking..but he was completely serious, and then asked..
"actually yeah..if ya dont mind kong..can you draw me a girl..we arent allowed much to look at in here."
so after lau***ng my ass off...i said sure..and drew him a girl while he gave me her description.. and then they all-every single guy in the cell were giving me requests for naked chicks..on of said "hey can you hav her bending over, in a thong..and kinda like, lookin at me, ya know?"
anyway, im side tracking, but whenever i think about my stint behind bars that always makes me laugh. goddamn was that ridiculous.
so theres a mexican guy in my cell..(the guy who put his fingers in my pudding) who im chillin with late at night..this guy was a scary looking mother****er..big scar on his face..didnt give a ****, had fought one of our cell mates outside a couple days earlier..i knew he was there being held for a trial that was goingto put him a way for a while(its a jail in a small town..more of a place full of holding cells for people awaiting trials, and shit like that..no one was there longer than a few months..and they either got released, or were found guilty of whatever, and sent off to prison..anyway) so were up and talking, and he tells me his story..how he got busted for coke, alot of it..was gonna be away for a couple years, and wanted his wife looked after because he left some 'heavy shit' behind him..i feign interest to maintain the 'kong' persona..lol..and he tells me he'll give me 1500 cash a week to look after his wife. drive her around..be her bodygaurd basically, then gives 2 phone numbers, one that will give me an adresd where i can get a gun, a second that will get me in touch with his brother to set everything up..i took the numbers, and said i would consider it depending on how my court case went...3 days later 1/2 my charges were dropped i was put on probation and needless to say i threw those numbers in the first trash can i saw. thats kind of a shortened version of hte whole experience but im tired and its already a long story...so yeah, that about sums 'r up. thread hijack over.:wg:

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Originally Posted by thetank

haha im not a seasoned criminal or anything..i was only "inside" for a week..LOL....a friend of mine got peppersprayed for being the black guy in a crowd basically, i yelled at the cop, he told me to step back, i continued yelling at the cop..got tackled and arrested(didnt raise my hand or suggest any threat, just spoke my mind) then i didnt appear for prints and pictures, cause i didnt know i was suppose to go get finger prints and pictures, got slapped with a breach, and a 10 oclock cerfew..got caught moving..and it was past 10, so i got another breach, thats what landed me in jail...after the degrading get naked then bend over and cough for 4 officers routine i was shipped into the jail, put in a cell with 9 other inmates, 5 bunk beds and 10 guys per cell..i was shittin my pants as i walked in there, and immediately had someone take my pudding, and shove 2 fingers in it looking for his "shipment" but after that it was pretty awesome given the situation..based on my appearance i guess they assumed i was the guy you dont **** with in jail..i was around 240 lbs(my biggest ever) with a shaved head right to the skin and a beard..anyway i actually got a-lot more respect in jail then i expected..sometimes i forget what kind of first impression i can give people. they called me "king kong"..haha..after a couple days i actually had 2 inmates on thier knees infront of me pulling towels down while i curled them to add resistance..hahahahaha...it was all good to them tho i was teaching them how to workout with what they had in the cell, and after a couple days i had gotten to know everyone and vice versa..when i told them i was an animation student one of them cut me off and was like "woah, so you can draw..like you can draw well?" while he digs in his bunk 'cubbie' hole and gets a pencil and paper
and i was like "uh..yeah i guess..why do you have a request or something?" i was joking..but he was completely serious, and then asked..
"actually yeah..if ya dont mind kong..can you draw me a girl..we arent allowed much to look at in here."
so after lau***ng my ass off...i said sure..and drew him a girl while he gave me her description.. and then they all-every single guy in the cell were giving me requests for naked chicks..on of said "hey can you hav her bending over, in a thong..and kinda like, lookin at me, ya know?"
anyway, im side tracking, but whenever i think about my stint behind bars that always makes me laugh. goddamn was that ridiculous.
so theres a mexican guy in my cell..(the guy who put his fingers in my pudding) who im chillin with late at night..this guy was a scary looking mother****er..big scar on his face..didnt give a ****, had fought one of our cell mates outside a couple days earlier..i knew he was there being held for a trial that was goingto put him a way for a while(its a jail in a small town..more of a place full of holding cells for people awaiting trials, and shit like that..no one was there longer than a few months..and they either got released, or were found guilty of whatever, and sent off to prison..anyway) so were up and talking, and he tells me his story..how he got busted for coke, alot of it..was gonna be away for a couple years, and wanted his wife looked after because he left some 'heavy shit' behind him..i feign interest to maintain the 'kong' persona..lol..and he tells me he'll give me 1500 cash a week to look after his wife. drive her around..be her bodygaurd basically, then gives 2 phone numbers, one that will give me an adresd where i can get a gun, a second that will get me in touch with his brother to set everything up..i took the numbers, and said i would consider it depending on how my court case went...3 days later 1/2 my charges were dropped i was put on probation and needless to say i threw those numbers in the first trash can i saw. thats kind of a shortened version of hte whole experience but im tired and its already a long story...so yeah, that about sums 'r up. thread hijack over.:wg:

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hahaha nice story, that's hilarious all those pic requests hahahaha, don't they have minds????

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Originally Posted by Bojangles69

No absolutely, I am in college persuing a phd in psych but Im yet to get my BA still.
My brother is about 42 and I just turned 25, I know its a large age gap. He's my oldest brother and I'm the youngest in the family, out of 4 older brothers total.

But I agree with everyone, this is just a temporary job until I get my foot in the door doing psychotherapy, but this is def a nice place to be working currently and the money is great.

Im just really psyched and if I meet some kind of connect cool, if not no big deal. I may be the only one to beat out my brother anyway because Im the only one in my family who's going for the phd.

I know being around rich ppl will be the extra bit of motivation I could use, like a nice little boot in the ass to keep me headed in the right direction. Perhaps a little quicker now. =]

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Good Luck Bro!!! That just proves the saying correct "IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW BUT WHO YOU KNOW" Maybe you can assist some of those rich bitches with "private" lessons bwahaaa haaa haa!!!:evil2:

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Originally Posted by Bojangles69

Ok this is SOOO weird. You grow up with a brother, see him all the time, KNOW him, SPEAK to him almost EVERYDAY.. and have no idea he's a millionairre?

So this is the deal.

I've been looking for a job since I got out of classes for the summer, and have been really persistent in getting a job that pays well. Well, it turns out for the last month and a half I've been practically a bum, flat ass broke and unemployed.

The word goes from my mom to my brother and he gives me a call last week, he's like I got connections and will get you a job that pays well.. I'm like "sure ok thanks bro (thinking w/e he’s prob FOS)"

So today I got to this "exclusive" golf course. And this is the first time in a while I've actually had a few good hours to just actually interrogate him and what he does for a living and it was like a shocking reality when I got done caddying today for the first time in my life...

I shake my brothers hand and leave. Walk over to my car, and pull out $380 cash for **6 1/2 hours** work and am thinking "wtf just happened?" I went from flat ass broke to now having a job where I'll be making ridiculous sums of tax free cash flow caddying for millionaires. yayYYY!!! =]

And I can't deny I've never been this psyched in my life before.. but also confused at the same time.

It all suddenly clicked when we're on like hole 8 and he points out a house he's buying right off the golf course, I'm looking at it and thinking “that’s NOT a house, that’s a fvcking MANSION!!”.

2.3 million dollars he says! My brain was scrambled into pieces. I was like “how did I just happen to not realize this fact?” My brother is filthy fvckn rich.

He’s the vice president of a very large and prestigious stock brokerage firm (I don’t want to mention the name but most people would know it like they know Johnson & Johnson.)

Not only that, but this isn’t a golf course, its literally another world. I have NEVER EVER in my life been in an environment like this. Like I’ve heard the cliché “rich people are arrogant assholes” or w/e but these people are painfully nice. They’re all happy and smiling, they ALL know each other. People are yelling out business propositions to my brother from across the course.

He says there is only about 100 members at this club. Last year it was 50, but they charged $150,000 just for admission + the annual fee and when they dropped the admission fee the number doubled to a little over 100 members this year.

Its weird but this is the way they literally screen out anyone who is NOT a millionaire. We’re talking to people and he’s introducing me to all them saying “this is my little brother, he’s going to be caddying for us at the club so make sure you treat him good”.
Not to mention some of the women I saw, at a fvcking golf club/course?!?! Some could literally pass as supermodels, and I have to admit I’m rarely intimidated by a beautiful woman but their status alone was making my knees shake.

And it’s all clicking in my head.. most of these women are the wives of their wealthy male counterparts. Maybe they’re a bunch of gold digging hot ass money hungry whores in reality, but I’ve never been around such nice & just friendly people in my life. I’m just your average middle class white boy lol. Than my brother went on to explaining that his whole career stemmed off from his caddying job when he was my age. That’s when he finished up his BA and he was caddying for rich people.. he met a lot of wealthy people. And one of them pulled him into a firm which he quickly worked his way to the top of.

But idk just a REALLY weird day. Like it was one of the most random things in the world. To be related to someone, to be the same flesh and blood, and not realize something sooo obvious about them. I came home and first thing I asked my mom was “is [my brothers name] a millionaire?” And she says “yeh” so nonchalantly. So I’ve been on this rant ever since and had to post it here lol.

Just like a form of culture shock I guess. One thing I do know is I’m gonna make a SHITLOAD of $$$ this summer (and through out fall too prob). And I also know I’m gonna kiss ass like I’ve never kissed ass before and milk these m/fkrs for ever penny they’ve got. =]

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Sounds very familiar, that Golf course is Trump National? True or False?

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Originally Posted by thetank

thats what landed me in jail...after the degrading get naked then bend over and cough for 4 officers routine i was shipped into the jail, put in a cell with 9 other inmates, 5 bunk beds and 10 guys per cell..i was shittin my pants as i walked in there, and immediately had someone take my pudding, and shove 2 fingers in it looking for his "shipment" but after that it was pretty awesome given the situation..based on my appearance i guess they assumed i was the guy you dont **** with in jail..i was around 240 lbs(my biggest ever) with a shaved head right to the skin and a beard..anyway i actually got a-lot more respect in jail then i expected..sometimes i forget what kind of first impression i can give people.

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Prob just different situations and facilities but I was shipped off from county to what they call "gladiator school". (A real intense prison in NJ.. actually been on TV a few times for all thier riots)
Within the first week I was "broken in" as they say. Jumped by a gang of 4 bloods.
The CO's just watch and only intefere if they hear bones breaking. I stumbled off the floor and dragged myself onto my bed and my bunky (who was in for 1st degree murder promised he'd have my back (he was a muslim guy married to a white italian woman and since I'm italian I guess he felt like this natural need to watch out for me.)

A couple months later I got into a one on one again with a blood. Dude just had better knuckle game than me. My bunky dragged him into his cell and we spent the next hour using our dirty clothes to clean the blood out of his cell.

All I can say about prison is it is NOTHING like the movies. Only movie I've seen that really does any justice is american history x. Races don't mix. You walk around on pins and needles all day everyday fearing some lunatic might just break down and start swining at you cuz you looked at him the "wrong way".

The dude came back about 7 deep and CO's decided to pull me out and transfe me 3 hours across the state. They didnt fvck with my bunky cause he was a lifer and had 12 years in, so naturally EVERYONE kept thier distance.

But if it wasn't for that one m/fkr alone theres no saying if I would have ever got out of that place alive. I somehow managed to do my 19 months. I can't possibly describe the shit I had to face on a daily basis. I got my weight up about 25 lbs but it didnt make much a difference at all.

I just kept quite, hung with the white boys, and towards the end of my bid I was a completely different person. I talked shit, I didnt tolerate shit, I was "broke" and I lost all respect for human life.

Than one day the gates opened and just like that it all ended. I came out with some serious anxiety disorders (I naturally attribute fear now to most non-threatening situtions) but its been a few good years and its nothing more than a distant memory now, a memory never to be faded or forgotten but thought about every day I'm alive. The experience def made me the man I am today but I still wake up with random hot flashes, hearing metal clang before I go to bed, but all and all I'm still alive so that all that really matter imo.

The best thing you can do is talk to everyone and "network". Absolutely under no circumstance should you ever say "I need a job doing bla bla bla"..but it is ok to mention what you are "interested" in etc. These people will pick up on it and over time they might offer you a position somehwere or better yet know a person who can get your foot in the door to a solid career.

I would definately play it smart and make the best of it, you have no idea the opportunity this can open up for you. I dont know how old you are, but do not take this for granted. You could very well be posting about making 6 figures a year in no time.

Of course this depends on how hard you work.

bojangles, what did you go in for?

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Originally Posted by muriloninja

The best thing you can do is talk to everyone and "network". Absolutely under no circumstance should you ever say "I need a job doing bla bla bla"..but it is ok to mention what you are "interested" in etc. These people will pick up on it and over time they might offer you a position somehwere or better yet know a person who can get your foot in the door to a solid career.

I would definately play it smart and make the best of it, you have no idea the opportunity this can open up for you. I dont know how old you are, but do not take this for granted. You could very well be posting about making 6 figures a year in no time.

Of course this depends on how hard you work.

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Great advice, I completely agree.

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Originally Posted by notanormalgent

bojangles, what did you go in for?

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I can't lay it out in laymans terms due to forum rules but I can quote the law exactly as I was persecutued.

1 count Maintaining and Operating a CDS production facilitiy. (1st dg 7yr min)
4 counts distribution of CDS (3rd dg 4 yrs min)
1 count distribution of CDS (3rd dg 4 yrs min)

Counts ran concurrent not consecutive equaling 7ys total with a 5yr & 5 month max (with good work and behavior credits) or a 21 month min if I made my first parole hearing (which I did) If I didn't I would have still been in prison prob for the last 3 years and wouldn't be getting out till Feb 2008.

So YES, at the position I'm I AM one LUCKY m/fkr.

oh and the dismal sheet was 24 counts long, I had a GOOD ASS fvcking lawyer. I think the total counts against me was an even 30. Which was 30 different things the DEA had on me and could have persecuted me for.

But since I was a first offender the ran all counts concurrent and only took the worst counts and through the rest away..

If I was second time offender would have been away till I was forty something. Went in when I was 20.

Never having been in prison or jail for more than the day it took me to post bail... Does "broke in" mean what I think it means?

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Originally Posted by FLBMWMech

Never having been in prison or jail for more than the day it took me to post bail... Does "broke in" mean what I think it means?

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NO NO NO, "broken in" implies no rape in this situation. They have another phrase for rape but I can't recall right now.

Its like a status thing. The second you come into "their world" they have to test your survival status by seeing how well you can hold up to a brutal beat down.

I knew if I tried to run away the rest of my bid would be living hell so I just kicked and swung for about 2 mins straight (mostly on the ground) until the CO's called it off and they backed off me.

It actually does you a favor in the long run because even though you still walk around scared to death you've already passed a certain point where in your head its like "fvck it" and it does drop your fear level about 10 bars.

Not to mention if your a blood and you get "broken in" they get it about 10 times worse because they're usually thrown in with the other bloods and naturally they wanna know their "homeboys" can fight.

Thats just the initiation, I don't even wanna get into the random fights that break out. But one thing I will say is you will never witness a fight ANYWHERE in your life like you do in prison. Because you're not fighting to win, your fighting to NOT DIE. I've seen dudes thrown through cafeteria screens right on top of the food cookers.
I've seen dudes smashed in the face in the yard with 25lb dumbells. (at which point we had to start signing in and out just to use a weight machine)
I've seen a dudes face smashed with a pillow full of frozen soda cans (and no inmates are not allowed cold soda at will. But its easy to sneak the soda into the bottom of the cooler w/out CO's noticing.) We are allowed generic warm soda however on commissary.

Than amongst the worst was a guy who got poked directly in the neck with a plastic shank, I never realized how far blood can shoot out of your body after some shit like that. Maybe an artery was hit but we never saw that guy again.

As well as another one which is a long story. They accidentally grouped two co-defendants one of who which ratted on the other guy. And it passed by the "discovery sheets" (I wont get into them because it will be too long)
I've never seen such a solid shot to the face in one hit.
The guy literally swung like 2 ft behind the guys head and he fell against a radiator and onto the floor.
These 2 guys than kicked the snitch for about 5 mins straight (I'm sitting on my bed literally shaking my ass off) and when they left NO ONE came over to help. He laid on the ground motionless for about 15 mins straight till a CO noticed him on the floor from a distance. Stretcher were there like 2 mins later and one thing I know for sure is this guy was NOT breathing at all.

So yeh you see your share of shit (depending on what facility your classified to) And you think that shit would "toughen" you up or make you harder when you get out.
The odd thing is I have this like "I love everyone" attitude. And if I'm the quickest one I know to diffuse a situation if I see some shit about to go down.
Even a couple weeks back at a bar its like this switch goes into your head and 2 drunk idiots are screaming at each other than you get in right between them and its not WHAT you say but HOW you say it.
And within mins they usually know I'm not fvcking around. I don't get that adrenaline flow anymore if I see a fights about to happen, I able to remain completely calm and people somehow just KNOW not to fvck with me. The funny part is I'm a short dude, not even that big, but when you see some guy at the bar who thinks he's "tough" you automatically have flashbacks to the guys you met in prison and what "tough" really means, and most people have never really developed any kind of killer instinct in the course of their lives.

Thats why in prison you rarely hear any words exchanged. Its just like one or 2 words than they squabble.
In real life I laugh when you hear all the white guys saying I'll do this and that and than the *second shits about to go down they lower their tone until things cool off than go back into their tough guy rant.

If 2 dudes have a legitimate reason to fight I'll let them "swap knuckles" but most of the time its nothing but MOUTH MOUTH MOUTH. I don't know, it really is just pure comedy to see how a fight goes down in prison and to see how the shit happens in real life, COMPLETE OPPOSITE.

I guess you just have to see it with your own eyes to understand.

And I don't mean to get into my prison war stories but their the only REAL cool stories I have to tell lol so sometimes I can't help myself.

Haha, my uncle went to prison and he loves telling me stories from there. It said it was hell, but damn...He sure had some epic tales to tell!

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Originally Posted by notanormalgent

Haha, my uncle went to prison and he loves telling me stories from there. It said it was hell, but damn...He sure had some epic tales to tell!

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Yeh I NEVER tell them to women unless I've known them for a while, but the second I get into it with a guy they always seems so fvcking curious about every little single detail and seem to love the stories.

Plus they're so much better spoken than typed. And more than anything I think I do it to keep my mind green and fresh and to NEVER forget what I've been through in life and where I'm headed.

But yeh, "epic tales" is def one way to put it.

Yes Sir. You are a f$#%ing idiot!

If your brother is a millionaire and you remain a bomb and not capable of producing at all, its time you realize you were adopted and following you real parents' footsteps. Come on now bro, its so obvious, you can’t even spell millionaire for crying out loud.

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Originally Posted by Sage

Yes Sir. You are a f$#%ing idiot!

If your brother is a millionaire and you remain a bomb and not capable of producing at all, its time you realize you were adopted and following you real parents' footsteps. Come on now bro, its so obvious, you can’t even spell millionaire for crying out loud.

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that's just funny... I was thinking the same.

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Originally Posted by Fat Guy

that's just funny... I was thinking the same.

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DORKS!

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Originally Posted by Pooks

DORKS!

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do you want to be my caddie :lol:

The world needs ditch diggers too.
http://pbpl.physics.ucla.edu/About_U...ler/smails.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sage

Yes Sir. You are a f$#%ing idiot!

If your brother is a millionaire and you remain a bomb and not capable of producing at all, its time you realize you were adopted and following you real parents' footsteps. Come on now bro, its so obvious, you can’t even spell millionaire for crying out loud.

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WTF are you talking about? "remain a bomb"?

"not producing at all"?!??!!
Are you speaking to me? Seriously.

FVCK SPELLING

this is an INTERNET FORUM not a fvcking thesis paper. If you wanna (or "WANT TO" if you're having problems comprehending) pick and point out every single petty and completely irrelevant spelling mistake.. you sirrrrr first need to learn how to put r's after you's, speak proper grammar yourself, and more than anything, get a g/damn life.

OMG OMG he said "you parents" he must be adopted, i must be a comedian, ahaaaaa!!! At least you got me lau***ng, just not with you.

And where the hell did that completely useless & random post come from anyway, are you bi-polar or some shit? They have lithium for disorders like that. I suggest you go eat a couple pounds..

Now lets plzz keep this thread non-hostile and anyone who feels the need to get abusive or flame will 1) be owned and 2) be reported directly to an admin.

I'm wayy too old for this child's play bullshit.

:haha:typical caddie, simmer down now!!!!
Do you also do lawn mowing tough guy, since my pubes can use some trimming...