Depressed? A healthy way out!

[kronik420]

your all a bunch of quitters

[< <Samson> >]

Shit, I'm addicted to this whole living thing the most

[hammerheart]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

[marcus300]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

You ok mate?
I struggle this time of year myself. Try and pick the good parts and focus on what makes you happy.

[MuscleScience]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

Get out and meet some people bud, there is a world full of interesting people. Some are just as lonely.

[< <Samson> >]

It's the first of December... the time of Yule is approaching. Streets and houses become garnished with lights and colourful trees. Families gather together to celebrate. But over the years it kind of lost any meaning to me, as I don't have anyone to share anything with. It's just the perfect occasion for life to remind how alone you are. I'll just sit here, then take a sleepless night to wake early in the morning, grim from past voices telling me how it was all my fault that I brought this upon myself, every single of my very thoughts and actions a mistake.

Rant over.

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.



Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously




Only reason why I even have this much time to sit here & read is because me & my son just got home from ER. He got the flu, spread it to me - then his moved into his lungs. . . . 30 hours later, we are back home.


So, oh well - I don't feel bad for him or myself. . . . But, I do feel awful for the kids I seen in the kids wing that look like they have been there for weeks if not months.

[Obs]

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.





Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously




Only reason why I even have this much time to sit here & read is because me & my son just got home from ER. He got the flu, spread it to me - then his moved into his lungs. . . . 30 hours later, we are back home.


So, oh well - I don't feel bad for him or myself. . . . But, I do feel awful for the kids I seen in the kids wing that look like they have been there for weeks if not months.

You are welcome!

Seriously though BIZZARO fuck being unhappy.
Single? Lonely? Burnt out?

Pack a bag and hit the road. Become a jouneyman wtf ever you want for money. Fuck a different girl at a different bar every night you can and travel the world. Jump at the chance of time off and kick anyone outta your life that tries to change you by manipulatively saying, "You care about yourself more than me".

YUUUP !!! Sounds terrible but if I am faced with a person that forces me to choose between lifting and aas and them... They are going bye bye.

Never change yourself to suit others. They want to bring you down so you can be miserable like they are because they have no drive or aspiration. Once you cut out the non-hackers from your life you can make it as beautiful as you want.

If your conscience is one of the non-hackers bringing you down, you are gonna have to do away with that motherfucker too.

You can escape your conscience. Conscience is one of those man made religious things you don't need to be a good man. A conscience is built by the people in your enviornments you are subjected to as a child and adult.
Stick a knife in your conscience and turn your back on it. All you gotta do is step in any direction and mean it and you will get what you desire.

My conscience ruined my life for 29 years before I got control of it.

[hammerheart]

Been there, done that quite a few timex


Shit, when my 1st wife left - I was left in a giant empty house right around this time of the year about a decade ago. I became quite self destructive for quite a while - but, found myself eventually. Only thing that got me through was my ob at the time.



Now, a decade later I am very pro advocator of "self". Life is too short too feel like this, now I seriously feel somewhat like Caine walking the earth(def not to the full extent). If I find myself feeling bad about whatever or find myself with too much time on my hands, I go find someone who needs help with something. It's has been working out fairly well, I have been staying clean the longest over the last half a decade & I feel the least mad or angry. No, I am not giving up my possessions - but, there is so much more to life than what the sheeple see.


People take life too seriously

I'm 28 and it's been like this for a decade already, I used to cope with easiness but other factors weighted in and had me drained, I don't really know where to find myself anymore.

I don't really take life any seriously...

You are welcome!

Seriously though BIZZARO fuck being unhappy.
Single? Lonely? Burnt out?

Pack a bag and hit the road. Become a jouneyman wtf ever you want for money. Fuck a different girl at a different bar every night you can and travel the world. Jump at the chance of time off and kick anyone outta your life that tries to change you by manipulatively saying, "You care about yourself more than me".

YUUUP !!! Sounds terrible but if I am faced with a person that forces me to choose between lifting and aas and them... They are going bye bye.

Never change yourself to suit others. They want to bring you down so you can be miserable like they are because they have no drive or aspiration. Once you cut out the non-hackers from your life you can make it as beautiful as you want.

If your conscience is one of the non-hackers bringing you down, you are gonna have to do away with that motherfucker too.

You can escape your conscience. Conscience is one of those man made religious things you don't need to be a good man. A conscience is built by the people in your enviornments you are subjected to as a child and adult.
Stick a knife in your conscience and turn your back on it. All you gotta do is step in any direction and mean it and you will get what you desire.

My conscience ruined my life for 29 years before I got control of it.

Oh, that was my dream in my early 20s but you know, circumstances eventually had me locked down in my hometown.

Trust me, I had to learn that lesson way early in life. I was literally forced or otherwise deceived into embracing miserable ways of approaching life, but even as a kid I was able to see through the veil of BS. I thus spit in the face of super-imposed believes and limitations and kept my head up. That, is one few things I can claim myself proud of.

I don't really feel sad btw just mad angry at times. I just wish to be happy on my own like I used to, I can't seem to roll back where I was and I believe the reason why is I feel utterly empty inside, no more "me" to be found. Lack of intimate relationships also is probably a big factor at play even though I'm not fully aware of it, it's not so much the sex part as the affective, but best course of action is for me to feel with myself before anything, yet I can't...

[< <Samson> >]

Word

You got kids?

Life is just too short to waste time feeling like shit. If I wasn't content where I'm at, I'd dip ASAP - And, I have a kid, a house & a 2nd wife. . . . . . Where I'm at personally, is I still want more - but, without drastic changes or moves. . . . Yeah, that's kinda going nowhere atm. . . . But, like I said - I am very content where I'm at(for now at least).



I sure did lose most of my faith in humanity after this year that's for sure. My own family flipped me the bird, wife's family did the same after taking them in & treating them like my own for years. Multiple friends just turned their back on me and one another like nothing - Oh well, fvck them - I am still me & that will stand until the day I kick the bucket.

[hammerheart]

Word

You got kids?

Life is just too short to waste time feeling like shit. If I wasn't content where I'm at, I'd dip ASAP - And, I have a kid, a house & a 2nd wife. . . . . . Where I'm at personally, is I still want more - but, without drastic changes or moves. . . . Yeah, that's kinda going nowhere atm. . . . But, like I said - I am very content where I'm at(for now at least).



I sure did lose most of my faith in humanity after this year that's for sure. My own family flipped me the bird, wife's family did the same after taking them in & treating them like my own for years. Multiple friends just turned their back on me and one another like nothing - Oh well, fvck them - I am still me & that will stand until the day I kick the bucket.

Nope I've never been into a relationship. Had a few good friends but lost them. My family of origin is an argument best avoided but it's enough to say I can't think of "family" as anything positive. But I don't feel any resentful towards ppl in general, my issue is with the words in bold.

[< <Samson> >]

Interesting

Apparently, I still need to work on my psychological diagnosis skills.

[Obs]

Just my opinion biz, if you are single you ain't stuck anywhere unless you are on parole.

Relationships even getvended when people decide their life is pulling in a different direction. One life biz its not to late to live it.

[hammerheart]

Just my opinion biz, if you are single you ain't stuck anywhere unless you are on parole.

Relationships even getvended when people decide their life is pulling in a different direction. One life biz its not to late to live it.

Noted. It's just the chronic asthenia that slows me down, it started as early as teenage, and TRT didn't help at all with it, quite the contrary.

I didn't mean I wish to be in a relationship btw, in fact I barely understand why ppl get in, but after being a social outcast almost whole of my life I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

[< <Samson> >]

I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

[Obs]

Noted. It's just the chronic asthenia that slows me down, it started as early as teenage, and TRT didn't help at all with it, quite the contrary.

I didn't mean I wish to be in a relationship btw, in fact I barely understand why ppl get in, but after being a social outcast almost whole of my life I've come to realize we as social animals need interaction with ppl to realize our very self.

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

I like to fuck. Give me pussy a couple times a week or day when cycling and I have no further need for human interaction.

[hammerheart]

I feel quite the opposite - now at least

I'm done with people & their nonsense. . . If you let em, people will drive you into the gutter.


A while back, I did think the same - we "need" one another < bull shit

"We" need less of another, if anything

I have been down that avenue at multiple points but never felt it was the right approach, but what's important ultimately is that we feel fine with ourselves I believe.

I like to fuck. Give me pussy a couple times a week or day when cycling and I have no further need for human interaction.

Two times a week sounds scant, but a guess it can work that way also... you already know I can only have a spurious experience with sex cause of the anhedonia but I got something brewing for the coming year that might fix it as well as many other issues I've encountered with TRT.

There's hope...

[David LoPan]

I downloaded a book (audio) titled Unfuck Yorself It has been helping me.

[Obs]

I have been down that avenue at multiple points but never felt it was the right approach, but what's important ultimately is that we feel fine with ourselves I believe.



Two times a week sounds scant, but a guess it can work that way also... you already know I can only have a spurious experience with sex cause of the anhedonia but I got something brewing for the coming year that might fix it as well as many other issues I've encountered with TRT.

There's hope...

Fucking from a male perspective is 50%desire and 50%confidence. Everything else means jack.

[hammerheart]

Fucking from a male perspective is 50%desire and 50%confidence. Everything else means jack.

Maybe your right. My desire is quite distressing atm it's new to me and I don't know how to cope, it just stacks up to the frustration, cause I don't have the means to satisfy it.

Sent from my GT-I9105P using Tapatalk

[Obs]

Maybe your right. My desire is quite distressing atm it's new to me and I don't know how to cope, it just stacks up to the frustration, cause I don't have the means to satisfy it.

Sent from my GT-I9105P using Tapatalk

The thing to remember is that everyone is exactly half what you are. You walk out your door every day and face non-hacking content people that dont have half what you do in terms of intelligence and drive. Whoever you fuck first will have their mind blown about the sixth round.
It ain't about size or romance or anything but effort.

You got this. I fully understand women today like to play neutering games with your mind and that you have a condition but it won't and can't stop you.

You are a lot like me as I used to be. I put women up on a pedestal and was honestly scared of them but fact is i will pay you more to do the same job (Fucking sucks having to be honest all the time. It gets you scorned and hated lol).

Anyway, you are the cock of the walk and they are your bitches, but you must realize this is because you give zero care what they think of you. They can have your cock but you gotta make them realize there are twenty applicants waiting for the opportunity. In the world of fuck buddies there are dbags and there are nice guys. Never be the nice guy.

You are looking for a wedge of flesh to dominate, dont let heart and soul desires get in the way. I have said before you are too damn smart and overthink a simple thing.

Women are not complicated no matter how much media wants you to think they are. They are horny, aldulterous, primitive, animals same as men. Odds are you are smarter than any woman (or man) you come across.

Show them by not giving a fuck what they think. Frustrated means horny so go fuck. Find one and manipulate your way into their pants. All you gotta do is tell them what they want to hear which is easy. 99% aren't looking for, or capable of a real relationship. Hit it and forget it. You the man hoss. I have had complete ED and anorgasmia with women throwing themselves at me. I know where you are coming from.

[hammerheart]

Well I stopped putting women on a pedestal in fifth grade already. There was one girl I liked and one random St Valentines I gifted her with a necklace. She tossed it in the bin.

I def see your point but it just gets too poor of an experience the way you propose it, plainly not worth it imo.

Media can't brainwash me, but I do find stereotypes about women are no more than about men. We aren't all primitive animals. We grow as human beings by confronting with our instincts and moderating them. I shan't be led astray by chemical urges from the man I want to be. Nor I will be suppressing them...

I'm ranting, it's early in the morning and I haven't slept. Good nite obs.

[Gallowmere]

I downloaded a book (audio) titled Unfuck Yorself It has been helping me.

That and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck are on my to-read list. I may end up going the audiobook route though, just because I cannot fucking sit still when I am in a caloric surplus.

[David LoPan]

That and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck are on my to-read list. I may end up going the audiobook route though, just because I cannot fucking sit still when I am in a caloric surplus.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is my next audiobook. Got them free from my torrent site.

[Obs]

Well I stopped putting women on a pedestal in fifth grade already. There was one girl I liked and one random St Valentines I gifted her with a necklace. She tossed it in the bin.

I def see your point but it just gets too poor of an experience the way you propose it, plainly not worth it imo.

Media can't brainwash me, but I do find stereotypes about women are no more than about men. We aren't all primitive animals. We grow as human beings by confronting with our instincts and moderating them. I shan't be led astray by chemical urges from the man I want to be. Nor I will be suppressing them...

I'm ranting, it's early in the morning and I haven't slept. Good nite obs.

Well shit... I am a primitive animal led by chemicals and I like it so much I squirt extra chemicals into myself to make it even more so.

The little twat threw that necklace in the bin because she was playing the usual neutering games women play that they are trained to play by modern society. She was actually saying she liked you. Not kidding they are that fucked up in the head on average.

In most womens eyes it becomes a matter of screwing you or stabbing you when one really likes you. Hell I have had them try to do both at the same time. It is not meaningless. Its my favorite hobby in fact. Its not hard either.

Wtf am I doing awake at 4;:00 am

[THIS1]

Hey.

I'm only 25 and less experienced at life than most of you but I've been through a bit. I've really been depressed since I was about 12. I don't talk about it to people. I know I probably should and get some help. I got through college near the top of my class. But I've dropped out of 3 different law schools the last 2 years after only showing up the first day. I've been homeless for most of the last 2 years since I graduated college. The one thing that hasn't changed is my training. I really chose to spend my money on training, food, and gear instead of a home. The one reason why I haven't hanged myself is because I have to sleep so I go get to the gym in the morning. Then, when I look at myself in the mirror I think "I have so much potential and I look great, so why throw it away."

I recently got arrested for possessing anabolic steroids . I have no money left and no gear and no gym access for a few weeks. I decided I had to go back and live with my parents to get myself back on my feet. I found a low paying job that I plan to help save up for a few months until I can get some gear again and get my own place again in a large city, not like this rural trash hole my parents live in with nothing happening.

The funny thing is I still plan on going to another law school next year. I've dropped out 3 times so why try another? I know I'll just drop out again. I'm really an introverted nerd who found the gym in my late teens and got hooked and gave away my dream of being a lawyer. I'm a huge disappointment to everyone in my family. It's not their fault and I'm a screw up because of my own choices, but coming from a strict and hardcore Catholic family who put me through 13 years of school in a monastery and didn't let me do anything helped make me this way. I didn't go to prom. In college I didn't go out much. All I've focused on the last few years is my training. I haven't done anything with a girl or been in a relationship and I'm 25! I can't talk to ladies anymore because I feel I have nothing to offer them and they'll just laugh at me and turn me down even if I have a body and I'm not a dbag.

People have told me like people on this site and the cops that I need to just forget about training and gear because it's put me here. But I'm not going to be anything special in life. The only thing that's giving me any hope and a reason to not shoot myself is training. Bodybuilding is survival for me. Just being away for the week I've been away since I got arrested is driving me crazy.

I'm sure I'm nowhere near rock bottom yet. I can't imagine how bad that could be. I've already lost my future, all my friends, all my money, and I've been arrested and homeless in the few years since I graduated college. My new dream in life is just to get my own place, find a girlfriend and work any job paying just enough to buy my gear.


I also get angry often. I have several breakdowns per week. I can't have a phone for more than a month. I get frustrated when I see skinny douches at the gym in their $400 leggings having no idea what they're doing thinking they're a badazz and pretend to be a rapper talking about how hard it's been for them in the hood when they're really spoiled brats.

[paul_]

I'm just going to let this here.

Very short and quick story, as a child my parents had a lot of conflicts. My mother is bipolar. I always got my mind fucked up with 1 warm and 1 cold if you understand what I mean. Since 14, I started abusing alcohol and cigarettes, later sinking into cannabis, speeds, halucinogens, etc. It's been almost 2 years when I have attempted suicide with xanax overdose. Now I know chances to die from that weren't that high, but back then swallowing my full fist of pills and drowning into that deep sleep I thought I made it.

Next day I wake up all fucked up, I look in the mirror and I ask myself what the fuck am I doing ? This isn't me. And then I figure out that I have to find out who am I. So I dress up and go hit up a run. I run until I run out of breath, I take a small break then I run again. After 1 hour of running around the city like that, I get such a good relaxed feeling, something that no other drug ever gave me. 255 lbs around then ~30% bodyfat.

Since then I managed to quit any drugs and cigarettes, I still consume alcohol from time to time because it gets hard, I get sad but I'm not depressed. It's natural to get sad at times.

What helped me the most were Anthony Robbins youtube videos and books. I got only "Awake the giant withing" and made me shift fast without prescribed drugs, without psychological therapy. I really recommend you guys checking his books. There are many more people talking about this, but his tellings made me understand the best.

And what I have learned is :
- What we think about most of the time is what we are slowly becoming.
- Depression can't happen if you do not allow yourself to go that path. It's when the dark thoughts are coming that we let them flow and get us sink, to hit the rock bottom. I get them now as well - You are shit, You are nothing but failure - but then I stop it and I say " Fuck you, I am dope".
- Make small goals and long goals. Every small goal will make you feel good and maintain you on track finishing that long goal.
- Affirmations 2-3 times a day, regulary, same hour same amount of time. Think what you want and feel you already have. "Say I AM MONEY BABY"
- It does not matter what happens outside. I see the post above me "I get frustrated when I see skinny douches at the gym in their $400 leggings having no idea what they're doing thinking they're a badazz" - they have their own karma's and own paths. You have yours. All you can do is smile back and wish them the best. There are millions of people fucking up every day, but you can only change one of them - and that is YOU (for now). Life is a game and it's not about who can make it faster but about who can make it further. The long terms commitments are always more worth than short ones.

And also don't go in this journey named life alone. Let people in your life, some will hurt you, but they won't hurt more than you allow to. Don't expect anything from anyone and you will be surprised.

[THIS1]

I'm so screwed up that people don't believe me.

[wellshii]

If only I could find the motivation to work out.
Ever try Neurofeedback?

[hammerheart]

If only I could find the motivation to work out.

Just do it, works for me, despite the unrelenting fatigue of lately.

[PeanutbutterDC]

... without prescribed drugs, without psychological therapy...


- Depression can't happen if you do not allow yourself to go that path....

Self help books can be fantastic, but seriously get professional help. There is nothing shameful about addressing emotional and mental health issues through therapy and meds. Let's destigmatize this.

I absolutely disagree that depression can't happen if you do not "allow" yourself...
Let's not blame the afflicted for their affliction! Shit like this is what keeps people from getting help

[hammerheart]

I absolutely disagree that depression can't happen if you do not "allow" yourself...
Let's not blame the afflicted for their affliction! Shit like this is what keeps people from getting help

This

[MuscleScience]

Self help books can be fantastic, but seriously get professional help. There is nothing shameful about addressing emotional and mental health issues through therapy and meds. Let's destigmatize this.

I absolutely disagree that depression can't happen if you do not "allow" yourself...
Let's not blame the afflicted for their affliction! Shit like this is what keeps people from getting help

Exactly, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. For every one suicide death 25 attemp it!

Sometimes just talking to someone helps relieve a lot of life pressure. We talk to people about other problems we have from car trouble to tooth aches. But not when our soul is broke or achy.

[< <Samson> >]

Shit, I am well over this suicide shit. Life is too short as it is, it'll b over before you know it.


Everything is temporary - even life itself



But, now it seems that people r damn near weaker than ever. Crying & bitching about every possible thing - and everything has to b political correct. . . OMG, someone looked at me - I'm being bullied. . . . STFU



Or - they'll come & shoot a place up then off themselves - at that rate, plz go kill yourselves before doing harm onto inocent others.

[MuscleScience]

Shit, I am well over this suicide shit. Life is too short as it is, it'll b over before you know it.


Everything is temporary - even life itself



But, now it seems that people r damn near weaker than ever. Crying & bitching about every possible thing - and everything has to b political correct. . . OMG, someone looked at me - I'm being bullied. . . . STFU



Or - they'll come & shoot a place up then off themselves - at that rate, plz go kill yourselves before doing harm onto inocent others.

Bullying is bad and we should talk to our kids and teach them not to bully and how to deal with being bullied. But to act like we can eradicate bullying is to deny human nature. A bully will only stop bullying once he/she is stood up too. That’s the only way. You can tattle and have classes and putout hashtags all you want. A bully only understands power. It only takes popping a bully back in the nose once for them to get it most times.

At the same rate, these people that are “anti-bullying,” will go on TV or the internet and name call Trump supports, or republicans or NRA members all in the same breath. Being a dick to someone just because you don’t like or agree with them is still being a bully FYI.

[RaginCajun]

Hey.

I'm only 25 and less experienced at life than most of you but I've been through a bit. I've really been depressed since I was about 12. I don't talk about it to people. I know I probably should and get some help. I got through college near the top of my class. But I've dropped out of 3 different law schools the last 2 years after only showing up the first day. I've been homeless for most of the last 2 years since I graduated college. The one thing that hasn't changed is my training. I really chose to spend my money on training, food, and gear instead of a home. The one reason why I haven't hanged myself is because I have to sleep so I go get to the gym in the morning. Then, when I look at myself in the mirror I think "I have so much potential and I look great, so why throw it away."

I recently got arrested for possessing anabolic steroids . I have no money left and no gear and no gym access for a few weeks. I decided I had to go back and live with my parents to get myself back on my feet. I found a low paying job that I plan to help save up for a few months until I can get some gear again and get my own place again in a large city, not like this rural trash hole my parents live in with nothing happening.

The funny thing is I still plan on going to another law school next year. I've dropped out 3 times so why try another? I know I'll just drop out again. I'm really an introverted nerd who found the gym in my late teens and got hooked and gave away my dream of being a lawyer. I'm a huge disappointment to everyone in my family. It's not their fault and I'm a screw up because of my own choices, but coming from a strict and hardcore Catholic family who put me through 13 years of school in a monastery and didn't let me do anything helped make me this way. I didn't go to prom. In college I didn't go out much. All I've focused on the last few years is my training. I haven't done anything with a girl or been in a relationship and I'm 25! I can't talk to ladies anymore because I feel I have nothing to offer them and they'll just laugh at me and turn me down even if I have a body and I'm not a dbag.

People have told me like people on this site and the cops that I need to just forget about training and gear because it's put me here. But I'm not going to be anything special in life. The only thing that's giving me any hope and a reason to not shoot myself is training. Bodybuilding is survival for me. Just being away for the week I've been away since I got arrested is driving me crazy.

I'm sure I'm nowhere near rock bottom yet. I can't imagine how bad that could be. I've already lost my future, all my friends, all my money, and I've been arrested and homeless in the few years since I graduated college. My new dream in life is just to get my own place, find a girlfriend and work any job paying just enough to buy my gear.


I also get angry often. I have several breakdowns per week. I can't have a phone for more than a month. I get frustrated when I see skinny douches at the gym in their $400 leggings having no idea what they're doing thinking they're a badazz and pretend to be a rapper talking about how hard it's been for them in the hood when they're really spoiled brats.

Sounds like you need to stop complaining and do something about it. Save some money, get some blood work done. If you have been on and off of juice , maybe you screwed up some hormones and need to get on some things to correct it. The hormones can be playing a role in drive to want to be better!

You seem smart, focus on yourself, and seek some free help. Go talk to a stranger and ask them how their day is going

[Obs]

Good God! I made some posts in here deep into the cycle!
Daaamn!

I don't even remember making some of these...

What a foul mouth horny prick!

[wellshii]

Wish it was that easy man. Today I am though.lol.
Neurofeedback seems to be working. So far only 2 sessions in. Possible placebo.

[wellshii]

I can attest to that. We cant decide our imbalances or whatever is going on.
Suicide is impulsive as well. Hence why people can vanish in a blink of an eye. I know this for a fact.

[MuscleScience]

I had completely forgot about this thread. Even though it’s in my signature

I just recently went through a very rough patch. But I’m proud of myself for how I’ve handled big time stress this go round. I’ve continued to workout, eat relatively good, been going to cousilong at my church and one thing I never do... I went to my MD for help with my anxiety.

All those things have helped. Also great support from my Girlfriend whom I was about to propose to and buy land with. I was down on myself for a few days.
But I looked at what I still had, which isn’t much and was thankful. Especially that I still had her. I was so afraid she would dump me. However, the only way that would happen is if I started to self destruct and go into a pity party. In the past I would have devolved into self defeating behavior. I’m still having a rough time but I learned what I needed to learn from my last mistake and have stuck to my healthy habits.

Cheers

[Kay kay]

It's not the pain or letting out the anger so much as it's the control.

Bingo.