Watch from the beginning... the juicy part comes at 1:30... but don't fast-forward to that part. Watch from beginning to end, it's only 2 minutes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofXJTKCI0NU
Watch from the beginning... the juicy part comes at 1:30... but don't fast-forward to that part. Watch from beginning to end, it's only 2 minutes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofXJTKCI0NU
I was one of three white kids in my class in my elementary school. The other two were girls.
In the fourth grade I was going home with bruises and torn clothes literally every fucking day.
One day I heard my parents arguing. I had come home with a broken nose courtesy of a Mexican kid three grades older. My mother wanted my father to do something about it because my younger brother was starting to get in the same routine. Fighting every day.
After listening to them argue my dad came to talk to me. I'll never forget what he told me.
He said the first requirement of bullying, is the consent of the bullied. And that bullies don't want to fight you, they want to take your dignity. They want to lord thier imagined superiority over you to reassure themselves of its truth.
Then he said any damage taken from a beating will heal. But allowing someone you don't respect to take your dignity is a wound that will never heal.
Being only about 10 or 11 years old, all I could ask was "dad, what am I supposed to do? There's only me, and there alot of them!"
Calmly he said, "when they come for you, be calm, stand up, punch the one up in your face , right in the nose just as hard as you can"
then I said "but dad, then they'll beat me up even worse".
Then he said "probably so, but that will last time you have to take it"
I said "what?"
Then he explained that they didn't want to fight, they wanted to humiliate. And if i refused to consent to being humiliated, and made them fight, they wouldn't want to pick on me anymore, because they would know, it means they have to fight, and at least one of them will get punched in the nose, and none of them want to be the one.
I tried it out. Dad was right.
Bullying requires consent. Refuse to give it.
I realized most neutered people of today would abhor that advice given by a father to son.
But he knew the reality was that he couldn't help me. Neither could teachers, pricinples or adults. Adults in the long run protecting you,, would only make the ridicule worse. only person that could stop it was me.
By the fifth grade, I had my own seat reserved on the bus. Amd when they picked teams in PE, it was captains trying to get the white boy first.
My son went to elementary school for two grades in port Wentworth Georgia. 80% black. He got the same advice. He got the same results.
Pretending that consent is not the first prerequisite is a typical emasculated concept of our times.
To this day, I will not be bullied in any way shape or form. Because I know how to stop it.
I realize that may sound kinda harsh. But it's true, I assure you
Horrible seeing that video, since the accused didn't even care to discuss it, just use his family as a shield and get a nice deal to resign...
Love topics like these, bullying needs to stop and I wish I had someone say the words you wrote above back then. That would have saved many years of agony IF I (hopefully) had
the courage to follow through.
I was also bullied, first by teachers and the kids, similar to the one above, but not as physical. Was instead slapped, pulled in the hair and humiliated in front of the class.
Changing school changed the bullies to a small boy gang, next change of school it became the girls, and lastly my own friends in the sport I played.
All because I let it happen or didn't have the tools and courage to meet it head on.
This with other issues placed scars that still lingers today, but I am so so happy that I became who I am today despite that and the wonderful people I met during
those experiences that loves me to this day.
I hope I can become a great father in it all one day, using the past as what not to do and present knowledge what to do.
Bullying has gotten worse, much more physical, revengefull and wide-spread and parents/ teachers and even law-enforcement just stands by shrugging their shoulders
scared of what they are allowed to do, instead of what is an moral obligation.
Kudos man!
Thank you sir, for your compliment and for your testimony on the subject.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiskevatten
I personally believe bullying has gotten worse, at least partially because of certain leaders demonizing manhood.
Boys fighting used to be considered normal and healthy. Adults seldom got involved.
Unfortunately as a father of three myself, I seen it play out alot of different ways. We want to protect our children, but bullying is something really only the victim can truly stop.
My son taught me a life lesson when he was about 10. He's a meeker more mellow kid than I was. He was kind of a geek back then. Whereas I was a roughneck miners brat. And he was attending a mostly black school and was being bullied for being a white boy
I gave him the same advice my father gave me.
And what happened astounded me. He fought maybe two or three times and the bullying stopped. The kids who were bullying him were now coming by the house to hang out with him.
He learned to coexist peacefully with the very kids who bullied him.
I didn't know you could do that. I simply learned to relish the fight, take my lumps, stand it like mam and give back at least as much as I took. It was that way for me for years, until high school before the constant conflict let up a bit. If the bullies got bigger, or more numerous, I just learned to be meaner, tougher and more ruthless.
But he existed after a few fights with little to no conflict. He fought a couple battles, and he made peace. That was probably 10 years ago. And through his whole life, he gets by like that. He stands up when he has to, but not constantly. I didn't know it could be done like that. He taught me that. At the time he was kind of wimpy. And I thought, it'd force him to get tough. Just like it did me and my brother. But it didn't. He didn't change at all. Except he doesn't let himself get bullied anymore.
He fought maybe four of five time all through school.
I can't in any way even count or remember all the times for myself. Sometimes I wish I could understand how he did that. And continued to do it. But it showed me, that nobody has to accept being bullied. And you don't have to become a Billy bad ass to earn respect. But you do have to stand up for yourself
I never understood bullying. I guess if you're being bullied at home, then it makes you feel better when you do it to someone else. I wasn't bullied at home, so I never understood it's allure. I've seen kids being bullied and teachers doing nothing about it. I've been bullied too, and most of my friends. It's a part of growing up, but you eventually stand up to your bully and they stop.
There was a kid in my high school who was a little weird. They might label him autistic or aspergers nowadays. He was in my grade, grade 10 at the time. Another big, tall, heavy set kid in 12th grade always bullied him during our shop class (and probably outside of it, too). The teacher ignored it. One day the kid being bullied had enough, so he took the pencil shavings container from the pencil sharpener (full at the time), walked behind the bully as we were leaving class, and poured it down the back of his shirt. By the time the bully turned around, the kid was running down the hallway. A chase ensued, and I ran after them to see what's going to happen. Suddenly these two football player twins that were in the bully's grade who saw what was going on, stopped the bully and started reprimanding him. "Dude you're twice his size and older, what are you doing trying to beat up a kid like that? What did he do to you..." etc. He never did get to beat him up. I always respected those guys after that. They could have just let it happen.
I’ve heard of kids bullied out of our school physically and what I think is worse and more prevalent, by cyber bullying. Needless to say, it doesn’t happen in my room, under my watch.
Classic scene of DeNiro doing a bit of bullying of his own. You knew DiCaprio was going to be special after some of his earliest roles.
https://youtu.be/ci3PCQL6iW0
Hey Brother I love that story it was very moving because I learned the same way. We used to have a saying that if you let a mf kick you he will kick you every day but if rip the mf leg off he will never kick you again...I also grew up down South and I understand what that’s aboutQuote:
Originally Posted by Hughinn
Most kids at one point or another get bullied (some worse than others). I remember one time getting beaten up so bad by a bully and his group of friends that my mother went over to his house to "speak with his mother." Needless to say, I got it even worse the next day. I really don't even have some turning point story like other people have of when it stopped. Eventually, somehow I figured out how to not let them think they got to me. Because that's really what they're after. They're out there to make you feel like shit inside and when they somehow can't see that they got to you anymore, no matter how hard they try, they move on to the next target.
But hey, I started going to the gym, started getting more serious about playing guitar and before I knew it, I was getting a little self-esteem. Those things really were "escapes" for me then and ended up giving a lifetime of enjoyment. And likely, I wouldn't have gotten that in to them, if the bullies had left me alone. I guess those are positives that you can never think about unless you're reflecting.
I ran in to one of the bullies a few years ago. He recognized me, but I had no idea who he was at first. He just looked like an out-of-shape, middle-aged loser. He identified who he was and started acting as if we're long lost friends. I'm thinking in my head "I've been hating this pathetic loser for the last 30 years of my life?"
That video was pathetic cringe. Imagine holding on to that your whole life.
My mother was a teacher. Mom taught me a couple of very good lessons as a child that served me well.
1. Nobody likes a rat.
2. Bullies like an easy target, don't be one.
I was always a small and skinny kid, not strong or intimidating by any means, but even the biggest bullies mostly left me alone. That was solid advice.
Thanks, Mom.
The last part happened me as well, but a group of them, quite a funny story actually.Quote:
Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong
They were a gang that was led by one guy with anger issues, had a knife and loved to throw poop at windows/ buildings... strange hobby... Anyway, his gang and himself bullied me at around age 12-13, I met his gang at a party 10 years later without the leader.
I didn't recognize them at first, but one of them sat down at my table and said the same bully name I got when I was younger and he smiled. I immediately connected who he and his friends was and grinned back (not as scared anymore).
My friends was close and felt the tension and immediately backed me up while I said "Guys! These are the people who bullied me when I was younger, isn't that great!".
My friends took positions and I could feel the anger in them.
The one bully who sat down went soft straight away and said he had no interest in that anymore and just wanted to catch up, which was fine by me because I felt great being able to stand firm to an old wound.
What was interesting was that he told me the leader was still the same, gone over to drugs and knife fights, hardly staying alive and making it hard for all around.
According to the guy, they sticked together to keep the leader out of trouble, which I think is BS - but there was pain in his eyes when he was talking, he didn't want to be there clearly, but didn't know anything else.
These guys will get someone pregnant, live on social security, and seldom amount to anything - blaming society or an old parent for everything that is happening onwards.
The bullied (if strong enough to live a life) will use that pain for success economically, in love, or as means to support likeminded - maybe even all.
With a few good people around showing love or a decent role model, we can turn the tables for so many lives just by being there or discussing it.
I promise you that there are many who reads this threads who won't comment, but some words will stick and make that week just a little better for him or her.
It's funny how we so often hate on other people, who we believe have wronged us or done wrong, when at the end of the day, we're all going to get exactly what's coming to us. Because we'll all eventually reap what we sow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong
Whatever, if remember something bad enough & I see you - I’ll break your neck in front of your kids - well, maybe just an arm
Heres my idea, save the story for later. Walk up and beat the bully fucking senseless since he thinks its still funny. Beat him unconscious it wouldnt take but a few seconds. Well worth it. An Eye for an Eye nothing sweeter than revenge
Yeah, life hit this guy harder than I ever could. I guess he peaked in high school. I really don't wish misery on him or anything. Aside from this thread I hadn't even thought about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hughinn
I've been here since 2009 but I think this might be the best discussion ever had on here.
I want to write a reply, but each subsequent reply I read gets me thinking a little bit more, and I have to re-think all over again.
I don't know how a male child born 1960 - 1975 in an English-speaking country is supposed to survive with 'Gay' as their surname. I mean it wasn't even spelt 'Gaye' or 'Gaeh' or anything. Literally his surname was spelled and pronounced 'Gay'. That guy would have been bullied to suicide in my high school, dozens of people would have shouted 'GAY' on the corridor every time he went by. At the very least he would have been cutting his arms. If I worked in the hospital on the day he was born, I would have semi-accidentally written 'Jay' instead of 'Gay' -- I wouldn't run an innocent baby's life by writing 'Gay' on their birthcert.
A male former-friend of mine in his 20's had a son about a year or two ago, and he named him 'Gabriel'. I didn't hear about this til a year later, but if I had been around at the time then I would have strongly discouraged him -- man give your child a fucking chance at life.
I want to read over this thread again and write a well-thought-out reply, but one thing I wanna say for now is that if I were given the choice of being seen as weak, or having everyone be afraid of me, I'd choose being seen as weak, because at least you can alter that. It's nearly impossible to get people to be comfortable around ya again once you've been labelled as a psycho.
A different take on a feminine name
https://youtu.be/WOHPuY88Ry4
Who’s the psycho?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
Look FK, people can be nasty, what’s new? It’s incredibly easy to elevate yourself by lowering someone else in deed or in word. Sometimes people are lazy and take that easy way out. Who knows, maybe that’s how they were taught or what they observed growing up.
I didn’t watch your video, because as another member said, why hold onto that negativity your whole life? How can you possibly become fulfilled as a person by doing so.
We all have to find our own path and our own voice FK, and it often ain’t easy. Use bullying as it tries to use you (not you as in you FK). You learn as a child that it is simply nothing, worthless, but an unfortunate part of life. Bullying will exist to some extent your entire life, but in different forms.
Yeah, of course there’s this, but there will always be another . . .
https://youtu.be/Mrhm-etYFDc
I'm trying to think of something similar to naming your son Gabriel. Some sort of analogy or metaphor or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Test Monsterone
It would be like going to a second-hand bicycle store to buy a bike for your child, and picking out the one that has two punctured tyres and a rusted broken chain.
I realise 'Gay' was this guy's family name, but still, his father didn't have to propagate that misery to his wife and children (although perhaps his father lived in an era when 'gay' still meant 'happy').
It's illegal to change your name in Germany, however since the 1940's they've made one exception: You can change your surname in Germany if it's Hitler. I wouldn't want my children to have either Hitler or Gay in their name, however if I had to choose one of them, I would choose Hitler. I actually mean that.
By the way just in case any of you are wondering -- I'm not homophobic. I realise that my sons might come out gay, and my daughters might come out lesbian -- but I also know that children are evil. I have a friend who's a speaker in the gospel hall, he has the perfect family, his wife is educated and nice to talk to, and his kids are getting an optimal upbringing -- but you still need to watch the 4yr old when she's playing with the 2yr old, she'll push the toys away from her. Children are evil even when you raise them perfectly.
If you're going to penalise someone for something that they did years or decades ago, and if you don't want people on an international trans-inclusive discussion forum to think you're pathetic for holding onto something for that long, then don't tell anyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernst
If you haven't seen the guy in 19 years then you won't even need an alibi, they won't link you to it. Just don't type his name into search engines and so forth, don't leave a trail. Don't drive by his house and have people see your car. People have cameras on their doorbells nowadays.
I'm gonna requite a guy for something he did to me 15 years ago. I'm not gonna kill him but I am gonna ruin him. If he has a mortgage on a house then I'm gonna destroy his personal home when nobody's in. It's the very least he deserves, he has ruined a dozen lives. Insurance companies don't pay out for malicious damage (or at least they don't in Europe).
But my own personal fantasies are nothing compared to what a friend of a friend told me about a month ago. This guy was molested as a child, and the perpetrator was convicted and spent time in prison for it, but now he's out. Two other victims of the perpetrator, who were also friends with the guy I was talking to, have killed themselves. So anyway maybe I'm easy to talk to or whatever, but this guy buttered his toast as he told me about how he built a shitty little wooden hut out in the woods, and he's gonna go kidnap the guy and torture him for days before murdering him. He spoke without passion or prejudice in his voice and so I reckon he might do it. Since the would-be victim anally raped him as a child, I don't really have any qualms about not trying to prevent it. I did give him a piece of advice though: Whatever you do, don't ruin your own life. Don't get charged with murder; because even if you're acquitted it's still an inconvenience being remanded without bail for the duration of the trial. Plus some people will never trust you after it (although if he's angry enough to have homicidal thoughts then I doubt he cares). It was a dark conversation but I do appreciate when somebody shares their own personal variety on the human condition with me. I firmly believe that life happens to people. Inner peace comes from all manner of activities.
I think that's quite a bit beyond getting bullied in school while growing up. I think he might've told you about it and his plan as a cry for help though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
Amen to that brother. And eloquently stated.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
Of all people in the world to teach a man a lesson, I learned that lesson from my own son.
Through that young man's actions he showed me there's another way, a way i didn't even imagine was possible.
I thought because I was different than most, and therefore exploited and targeted, I thought I had to basically prove myself the most savage and dangerous of all, in order to find peace. I did that, and succeeded, but it didn't bring me peace. The only peace I had was knowing I could handle perpetual conflict.
He, with the same advice I had been given, looked at it conversely, in a way i never considered, and found a way to simply coexist, without dominating or being dominated, and found peace.
Watching him was a privilege. He says today that he's so grateful for the lessons I taught him, but the truth is that he taught me far more than I ever taught him. I hope one day I can tell him, and he understand.
I appreciate all of this discourse also. Reflecting is so enlightening. All of these posts have been a pleasure to read.
Speaking of not telling anyone, Kimbo....
I'm not the one on here laying out evidence of a murder plot and naming myself as a co-conspirator.
Not that I believe you anyway.
I changed two of the biggest details, but still kept the gist of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernst
Murdering the person who molested you when you were a child isn't real murder. I realised that it's murder 'on paper', but any sensible person will see that it's just the natural way of things.
My attitude to life has changed quite a bit over the past 5 years or so. The me from 10 years ago probably would have offered to help him. The me today doesn't want my life fucked up with a murder charge. I'm not overly concerned with the moral side of things, because when you put your penis into a child's anus, you rescind all rights and forfeit all mercies. That moment when you hold the head of your erect penis an inch from the prepubescent boy's rectum is the point at which you decide to hand yourself over to a lost eternity. May God have mercy on your soul, because we mere mortals certainly won't.
I found him believable, plus it was in Northern Ireland where you don't need to go very far to find a person willing to commit mass-murderer (lots were released from prison under an amnesty). The only reason he started talking about his murder plot was because another person in the room addressed me saying 'Remember that guy you wanted to kill', and it just went from there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong
By the way I've never killed anyone, and I don't think that I ever will. I'm opposed to homicide as a form of retaliation, because I have not seen the afterlife yet. For all I know, the afterlife is a paradise for everyone, and so I might be doing him a favour by sending him on to the next beautiful place. Can't take that chance. But putting cable ties on his wrists before cutting off his hands, and then blinding him with a light mist of acid on his face, I'm not against doing that to a person who has interferred with a young child's excretory canal outside of a medical context.
I went to school with this one guy when we were 12-15 years old. Let's call him Leonardo.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hughinn
Leonardo was actually a sound guy, you could have a good conversation and a bit of a laugh with him. He competed in boxing, and he was a good fighter.
Leonardo had a reputation in school for not taking any shit, and if you so much as called him a 'silly billy', you got punched 3 or 4 times hard in the head. Believe it or not, he even stepped in to defend me one time, I was using a rubber elastic band to shoot bits of paper around the classroom, and I shot this one guy hard in the back of the head who then got up and came over and started punching me; I was trying to talk to the guy to tell him to stop and sit down before we all got into trouble, but then BLAMO out of nowhere, Leonardo clocked the guy. It wasn't a soft punch either.
I'm sure that Leonardo felt very safe at school but it did come at a cost. I mean think about it, who would want to play football or any kind of game or sport with someone like Leonardo. Who knew how he would react if you won him at a game of chess, or snakes and ladders. Nobody ever felt really comfortable or at ease around him.
It wasn't until my late teens to early twenties that I really got into Thai boxing and started to go far with it, but it was a few other little life experiences (e.g. getting held up with an AK47 at night time on the Mekong River in Asia, one friend trying to strangle and stab another friend) that changed my psychological disposition.
So anyway around about 10 years ago, I walked up to a pub, and the door man said to me, 'You're not getting in'. I asked why, and he said 'Height restrictions'. This unfortunately was the first step in the unravelling of this door man's life. Over days, weeks, months and even years, it escalated and escalated and escalated, and this is how my reputation in my hometown changed. People didn't feel at ease around me anymore, nobody wanted to joke about my hairstyle or ask if I imported my shoes from a Russian clown factory.
Having people be afraid of you isn't a pleasant existence. The only people you can really be friends with are gangsters, and that's a shit life. Life's better if you go rollerblading and airsofting with people who'll make jokes about you.
If you're seen as weak in a community and are getting picked on, you can retaliate, and people will realise 'hey don't fuck with him anymore', but you don't need to be so extreme about it that nobody wants to sit beside you.
Once you've gotten a reputation as a mad bastard who will go to great lengths to retaliate, people don't want to know you and don't want to be around you. You need to move to a new area where people don't know you and start afresh, join a church or whatever.
There's a spectrum for everything, even retaliation. You can tap someone as hard as they tapped you, or you can go to war. For about 5 years of my life I kept going to war. Old friends wanted nothing to do with me. I saw one very good old friend in the middle of town one day and I asked him why we never saw each other or hung out anymore, and he's the only person who told me the honest truth, "Tom, I'm afraid of you".
Hughinn, I personally think your greatest achievement with your son is that he felt that he had a big strong dad to fight his corner -- but that he wasn't afraid of you. Children who are afraid of their father don't typically turn out well. This doesn't seem to have been an issue for you.
We have a famous chef in the UK, his name is Gordon Ramsay, there have been camera crews filming in the kitchen at his restaurant to make a reality TV show. He was always known for harshly criticising his employees on camera, I wouldn't want to work for him.
He seems to have done a good job bringing up his daughter though. He uploaded this video to YouTube only about a month ago:
https://youtu.be/p3szeghJNA8
Obviously this shows that his daughter isn't afraid of him. If you can make your children feel safe and supported by a strong care giver, and also have them feel at ease enough around you to pull a prank like this, then I reckon your kids will turn out alright.
If I have kids in future I hope they pull pranks on me... obviously it would get old if they smashed an egg off my head every day but then I'd just retaliate by putting stink bombs and confetti in their rollerblades.
When I was about 16, I had a very close friend who was afraid of his father. He was even afraid to lie to him, I remember times saying to him "Just tell your dad that we we went to the park for a few hours", and he would reply "No, he knows when I'm lying". And being afraid of his father actually didn't make him any more disciplined, he developed a penchant for cannabis and promiscuous sex, and then later DWI and trashing his own house at house parties. He's in his 30's now and I think he's alright now but he had a good 10 years of mayhem.
All I hear is whiny bull shit,
No one in my life stands out as much as my boss who fired me from my last real job.
They had to separate us when it happened in the office. . . Come outside bud, let’s see what you can do - dude went pale & the other guys separated us < this is years before I got on roids
That’s what I told him too - I’ll see you in public, I’ll beat your ass I’m front of your wife & kids
My other coworker told me where he lived - but, I let fait get that one - I never ran into him since
We all handle shit differently - luckily, I never had a situation as bad as the fat man in that video. . . I’d come back with that 45 & start spraying - let’s see who’s tough now & who helps who
Thankfully life’s been good to me - so far
double post
Why didnt you just use your white privilege card?
OK dont get me started on the race thing because its ass backwards to me or at least mostly.
Somehow I got lucky and did things 90% right. I was picked on and several attempted to bully me but I did stand up to them but never had to through a punch luckily. I only got hit 1x (Sucker punched) and I laughed at the guy who did it immediately saying if that was his best shot he wasnt worth my time. All the bullies wanted to fight me for the next after that. :(
Im not sure what I would have done in that situation. Im sort of a believer of self administered Karma especially long term. I still have a couple Karma gifts I need to deliver one of these days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hughinn
Quote:
Originally Posted by <>
I think 95% of people who say that, are blocking out their childhood trauma.
I hear 92.7% of all statistics are made up on the fly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
I’m at peace with my child hood & lifetime of trauma - I remember it all
It is, what it is
We usually write that last sentence without a comma. Your use of a comma after "is" indicates a hesitation, perhaps a reluctance to accept the following sentence fragment.Quote:
Originally Posted by <>
I love this weirdoQuote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
I can have a crack pipe hanging from my mouth and still consider myself normal compared to you bud
Keep em coming
Broken post
Broken post
The French saying, 'C'est la vie', is sometimes translated into English as:Quote:
Originally Posted by <>
Here you can see how it sounds:Quote:
It is what it is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StnDdeMiFUk
I can't post two videos in one post so see the next video in the next post. . .
Samson, your appraisal of your lack-lustre childhood was expressed as:
And here's how it looks and sounds:Quote:
It is, what it is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFoRxkZ2xSI
You can hear the uncertainity in the tone of voice, and see the facial expression of bewilderment.
I thought it meant "it is the life."Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluidic Kimbo
https://youtu.be/KIiUqfxFttMQuote:
Originally Posted by Honkey_Kong