Depression while on steroids

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 05:32 PM

....

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 06:27 PM

This is ridiculous.

It's people like you who give all steroid users such a bad rap.

If you don't have all the ancillaries needed to cycle safely (E.g. caber or prami) then you shouldn't be cycling.

You should come off before you make this situation worse.

You are probably feeling depressed because of you elevated PRL.

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 06:46 PM

....

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 06:52 PM

....

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

let me just say that there are other factors as well like worrying about my health and potential trouble with the law. my parents are pressuring me to get off. I just failed a board. girls have turned me down recently. I don't want to pin it totally on the roids but having an ldl damn near 200 and an hdl in the single digits is not good. coming off test would lead to a severe crash even with a proper pct. I feel trapped. I don't want to come off b/c I don't want to lose what ive gained. I don't know. things just aren't good in general for me right now.

That stinks man.

It sounds like you're in a horrible place right now.

If you stay on then your health will only continue to decline.

The whole reason for cycling is to prevent serious health problems, if not then we'd all blast indefinitely.

You've crossed the threshold and are abusing steroids .

You need to come to grips with the fact that you have an addiction problem.

How long have you been on?

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

where do you even get caber or prami in general? can you get it OTC or is it RX?

Caber and prami are prescription dopamine agonists.

You should be just as worried if not more about your lipids.

It's time to come off.

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 07:11 PM

....

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 07:13 PM

....

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 07:27 PM

....

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

about one year straight of the test. the other stuff (orals) are on and off but here lately ive made a nasty habit of staying on the tren.

That's a long blast.

You're hematocrit is likely elevated as well.

I definitely understand what you're saying, tren is difficult to stop.

That's one of the reasons one should have a fair amount of experience before using tren.

At least your liver function is good.

I'm not going to twist your arm here because for whatever happens next to be successful it needs to be your decision.

If you decide to come off I'll explain the best why I know how for someone in your position.

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

just to be honest everyday I have suicidal thoughts at some point or another. I don't have the means to do it but I do think about it

This isn't cool and definitely not normal for someone your age.

You should seek some therapeutic help ASAP.

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 07:47 PM

....

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 07:55 PM

....

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

and expect them to keep things like my steroid use confidential? I'm not so sure about that

Keeping your steroid use confidential shouldn't be a major hang up for you at this point.

Your physical and mental heath should be you're number one priority.

**hollywoodundead2016** · 06-27-2016, 08:12 PM

....

**numbere** · 06-27-2016, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

I know. I'm not in that dire of straits right now but if I keep going at this rate I will be. how the hell do the pro powerlifters handle 8-10 grams of gear/week is what I want to know lol

I don't know buddy I think you are at that point but are in denial.

That's precisely one of the reasons why not everyone can be a pro.

**Mr.BB** · 06-28-2016, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

I'm 26 years old. All of my counts were normal, high normal but normal. my doses aren't extreme, its just being on so long has finally worn on me. I cry about 1 hour everyday. my feeling is that no one cares about me but I know my family does and that doesn't seem to matter anymore.

Self pity will not help you. You need to be pro-active for more ppl to care about you, if you shutdown yourself ppl will forget about you.

Like in everything in life you need to work to get results. Lift your head and go meet your friends... if you think you dont have friends, make new ones... and im not talking about online friends... start conversations on the gym, ask girls out, ask friends for movies/beer/hangout, whatever.

**Proximal** · 06-28-2016, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by hollywoodundead2016

I know. I'm not in that dire of straits right now but if I keep going at this rate I will be. how the hell do the pro powerlifters handle 8-10 grams of gear/week is what I want to know lol

I totally agree with Numbere here, this sounds a lot like denial. You've mentioned suicidal thoughts & potential issues with the law - that should be enough to tell you.

HDL/LDL levels at your age are not a concern, they should be addressed, but aren't something to lose sleep over. Girls are likely picking up on this negative "vibe" you're giving off during this period, again, nothing to lose sleep over. Boards I'm assuming can be retaken, would you be the first or last that will have to do so?

You have to get out of this tail-spin now. You said you had family, which is more than some have to help - sounds like a good place to start, at least from my point of view.

**AR's King Silabolin** · 06-28-2016, 03:54 PM

Job?
Economi?
What is your home?

**Bonaparte** · 06-29-2016, 01:12 PM

Tren and anadrol are both mindfucks, so come off those first. Then drop the test and start PCT. If your parents are pressuring you about stuff, you're probably too young and in over your head.

**MuscleScience** · 06-29-2016, 03:40 PM

When im on, I feel like I'm on top of the world. No depression, no self Esteem isdues, just feel great.

**Hard.On** · 06-29-2016, 08:07 PM

Do you do party drugs hollywood?

**DocToxin8** · 12-22-2016, 07:16 AM

Fuck it. If you can't quit completely, or won't that is.
Then drop down to a dose of 250mg test or week, that's a cruise, not TRT,
and a dose you'll manage to keep your gains at for a long long time.

Do this immediately, it's easy.
Stopping everything should be a goal as well, but take one thing at a time,
and the first thing u need to address is the hormones mind fucking u.

You'll feel much better if you do this, that's a promise.

**diesel101** · 12-22-2016, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by MuscleScience

When im on, I feel like I'm on top of the world. No depression, no self Esteem isdues, just feel great.

I am with you on this one MS! I feel 10 foot tall and bulletproof when I am on!
I am running tren right now and feel absolutely awesome.

But then again I am sure different compounds affect everyone different.

OP if you are feeling that messed up while running gear it is definitely time to come off and get your world together!
Your worried about a few girls turning you down? What are you 12? Who gives a sh!t if a woman turns you down you are not the first and not the last that will happen too

I am sexy as f*ck and I have even been turned down when I was younger and single

**hammerheart** · 12-22-2016, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by diesel101

But then again I am sure different compounds affect everyone different.

Indeed they will - I get depression from Test and I'm on TRT, with no chance to come off.

Went on Tren on the world turned upside down, no more depression, libido, confidence, strength, and virtually solved any low T symptom that TRT failed to relieve. Too bad it also made my nipples lactate like no tomorrow.

I've come off and now I'm wary to jump on in the future, I just feel to good on it, it's hard to come off then.

**Nephets** · 12-22-2016, 09:27 AM

you need to talk to a professional my friend. depression and suicidal thoughts are nothing to fuck with. Its almost impossible to get your head out of your own ass without some help. its like living with blinders on. you think you have no friends when in reality if you weren't depressed, you may find you have many. you may think that no one loves you or would miss you if you were gone. that's not reality. that's more then likely just your depression talking. depression makes you think very illogically. you start saying things like I don't want to stop taking this drug because I may lose some muscle, but also say this drug is making me have suicidal thoughts. it sounds fucked when you write it out, but that's what a depressed brain does to you. good luck.

**Quester** · 12-22-2016, 10:47 PM

Suicidal thoughts are a good indicator that one needs to take immediate action to change. Please follow the advice your hearing from people who have nothing invested in you except for concern for thy fellow man. Your situation is unnatural=You can fix it. = hope. Start today=today you can mitigate depression with hope because you will be on the right path. Baby steps (every day is a step in right direction) leads to success. Life is a gift (EVEN YOURS...your gift may not feel rewarding right now but, coal under the tree can keep you warm). Build upon the knowledge that you are on the right path. You started this journey a year ago because you wanted to be a big boy, TIME TO PUT THE BIG BOY PANTS ON. Develop self care, no man delegates that. Your gonna be fine if you want to be. If you have other plans...that's what you'll be.