My fat client and I had an argument today, haha

[NVR2BIG1]

So I train this guy who for lack of better terms, is a 330 lb, over emotional, lazy, worthless duesche bag. He's been with me now about 5 wks.

Wk 1- do a diet for him, he says its reasonable
Wk 2- weigh him, he gains 2 lbs
wk 3- weigh him, he is the same
wk 4- same weight, breaks down crying in front of me. Tells me his life sucks, he takes meds cause he's a headcase, contemplated suicide before, admits he binge eats on the weekends, eating out almost every meal, drinks 4-5 22 oz beers Fri night, drinks hard liquor Sat and Sun.

This past wk- has literally cried at some point during every workout session since our talk. Talks 80% of the workout


TODAY- REALITY CHECK 101!! So I already had it made up in my head I didn't give a shit anymore and was just there to talk to him everyday while he did nothing. He said the diet was going ok and he was worried about the weekend. I asked him if he wanted something easier to follow Fri, Sat & Sun to help him get through until next weigh in, because he said he was intent on losing weight within a week. Here was my plan; He can go to happy hour like he normally does Fri evening, but he is to get something off the low carb menu, and drink diet soda. At 7pm he is to report to the gym for 40 min cardio session. Guy flips out "If I'm supposed to be here Sat and also Fri night at 7pm I'm going to just walk out right now, this is becoming a job and I still need to have a life (raised his voice at me) I replied "Then there's the ****ing door!! You came here for help, I didn't drag you off the couch. Now I'm showing you how its done, whether you do it or not its up to you. Right now what you call a life sucks, you sit alone drinking and eating crap for 3 hrs every Fri night staring at ass you'll never get because you look like a slob to women!! (at this point the guys mouth about drops open, he cant believe I'm telling him this) You paid 5k for this and your pissing it away." Surprisingly enough, he stays. After banging his fist on the table and crying like a ****ing toddler, he says he's going to try. When you guys see a trainer standing next to a client and it looks like they dont give a shit, your right. This is why

[Bojangles69]

That was actually a really cool read I enjoyed.

Just to see what a day in the life is like of a personal trainer, I've always wondered about things like that myself personally. Cause I know there has to be people who are stupid, but thats just ridiculous, 5k to act like that? What a fvcking disgrace.

This guy sounds like he has so many problems the first thing he should do is get a psych evaluation. I'm getting into counseling I guess which is why I'm so interested, and I have no idea what I would have done. To a degree yeh I'd feel bad, and try to motivate the guy, but another part of you just wants to smack them in the face and scream at them. Would hope an occurence like this isn't that common, I mean I know you gotta deal with a lot of outta shape messes of people, but would you say most your clients are motivated?
I would hope most people didn't need to be handled like that, good luck it takes a lottttt of patience.

[GZA]

sounds like he needs a therapist more than a trainer, i'd want to kill myself if I was that guy too...

[Bojangles69]

GZA I read ur pm the other day & totally forgot to get back to you, going to do it right now I just realized lol!

[jbm]

lolol! he needs to go to a mental hospital!

[MuscleScience]

It pisses me off when the call and cancel just before our session, when i have a shit ton of people that would kill for that time slot

[NVR2BIG1]

That was actually a really cool read I enjoyed.

Just to see what a day in the life is like of a personal trainer, I've always wondered about things like that myself personally. Cause I know there has to be people who are stupid, but thats just ridiculous, 5k to act like that? What a fvcking disgrace.

This guy sounds like he has so many problems the first thing he should do is get a psych evaluation. I'm getting into counseling I guess which is why I'm so interested, and I have no idea what I would have done. To a degree yeh I'd feel bad, and try to motivate the guy, but another part of you just wants to smack them in the face and scream at them. Would hope an occurence like this isn't that common, I mean I know you gotta deal with a lot of outta shape messes of people, but would you say most your clients are motivated?
I would hope most people didn't need to be handled like that, good luck it takes a lottttt of patience.

No, most are not this bad. He's the worst I've ever had. I already know the guys deal, there is a girl he likes who works at happy hour. He goes there and sits on his ass for 3 hrs watching her. He knows that if he's there he can at least see her. He drinks because as long as he's drunk he doesn't have to deal w/ the reality of being a fat guy. You see, me having him walk away from that and do cardio is going to be hard for him. He does not want to do anything thats not easy or convenient, which is how he got as big as he is. I've come to the conclusion that helping somebody lose weight is not so much making them walk on a treadmill or lift weights, your helping them overcome an emotional battle. He also see's a psychologist on a regular basis. He hasnt told me that, he just says "Dr" but I'm not blind. I think yelling back at him actually helped him. The shrink is going to talk all calm, comfort him, soothe him, pussify him. Drain his insurance and keep him coming back for more. Maybe the blunt, straight forward approach is what this guy needs

[Friend]

This guy obviously has issues. He sees a psychologist on a regular basis and is on medication. Sure it's your job to motivate him and get results, just be weary of what you do say to this client.

Imagine you say something that pushes him over the edge one day and he harms himself because of it, he certainly seems unstable and probably cannot cope with alot of criticism, constructive or not (although it's gods honest truth that he is a pathetic fat piece of shit). You don't want something like that on your conscience bro.

You have to be careful how you treat people with mental illnesses, because they are unpredictable and you never really know what is going on in their head.

[Bojangles69]

No, most are not this bad. He's the worst I've ever had.

Ok cool.

I already know the guys deal, there is a girl he likes who works at happy hour. He goes there and sits on his ass for 3 hrs watching her. He knows that if he's there he can at least see her.

Haaahaaa!! That really is stage 5 creepy. And someone seriously needs to warn that girl. Wouldn't be suprised if she goes on the missing persons list by next week.

He drinks because as long as he's drunk he doesn't have to deal w/ the reality of being a fat guy. You see, me having him walk away from that and do cardio is going to be hard for him. He does not want to do anything thats not easy or convenient, which is how he got as big as he is.

It really sucks. Because I'm sure to a degree in his mind hes thinking "if I do enough cardio, one day I might get that girl at the bar". But what he doesn't realize is even if he DOES get into shape, shes STILL not gonna want him becauses hes too desperate/crazy. Then he'll most likely lose it completely and kill her.

I've come to the conclusion that helping somebody lose weight is not so much making them walk on a treadmill or lift weights, your helping them overcome an emotional battle. He also see's a psychologist on a regular basis.

Yeh couldn't agree more. I mean that is one of the truest statements anyone can ever understand about getting in shape, or really accomplishing anything in life. It sucks though because when people see shrinks, they're actually more likely to share their problems with complete strangers A LOT more then if they werent seeing one. And I'm sure you get a hefty share of that responsibility. Realistically you should be making what the shrink makes + however much the sessions cost.

He hasnt told me that, he just says "Dr" but I'm not blind. I think yelling back at him actually helped him. The shrink is going to talk all calm, comfort him, soothe him, pussify him. Drain his insurance and keep him coming back for more. Maybe the blunt, straight forward approach is what this guy needs

Hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD.
Even coming from someone who studies counseling techniques, that happens SO MUCH in reality it would sicken you. I don't have any issue with therapy, I have a problem with therapists who really don't give a fvck about their patients and have no real clue how to help someone (which realistically is how it is so many times).

But one thing you learn about counseling is, the counselor doesn't make money unless the patient keeps coming back. So when the patients cured, the dr is out of a job. I use to go to therapy back in the day, and after a few years I basically said to myself "this was the most worthless thing I ever did with my life, & not a single fvckn thing has changed since I started".
What was EVEN WORSE. Was some of the techniques shrinks use to keep you coming back. They will actually change the subject, bring up something you're sensitive about, then come back to the topic at the end of the session. "So you were saying you were thinking about stopping therapy?". And so many times I'd say "yeh doc, to be honest blah blah blah", he'd keep us going on about it for a few minutes, then the session would end and he'd say "I really think we should at least continue talking about this next week, it seems like theres a lot more to it".
He was slick about it though it was funny to watch.

I caught on real quick and literally just never showed up again, and never called.
I do believe in therapy however, I just am real keen to how therapy can actually worsen peoples lives. It absolutely can teach a person to be complacent (learned helplessness), and not do anything with their life. But as long as you keep coming back, the therapist makes you feel like you're doing everything you can, and that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Its fvckn crazy.
I absolutely agree in the "screaming therapy". Not only does it force action, but he will absorb that strength from you as well, the same way he absorbs the casual attitude of the therapist. It just sucks that if hes seeing a bad therapist, its really gonna wind up making YOUR life that much harder. G/luck whatever happens I found this all really interesting.

[paulzane]

You YANKS are all NUTS!

[PistolStarta]

I have alcohol problems that run in my family so I know the struggles, BUT 330lbs, eats out and makes excuses would drive me insane also.

[Bossman]

Keep up the good work! The world needs more trainers that tell it like it is.

I have a buddy who is a physical therapist. I asked him how he likes his job and he said he hates it. He is a former competitive bodybuilder and said most people he deals with are whiners. They complain about aches and pains the average gym rat deals with every week. He isn't allowed to tell people they "need to lose weight". And often times, that's the root of they're problems.

[kalspic]

Ok cool.



Haaahaaa!! That really is stage 5 creepy. And someone seriously needs to warn that girl. Wouldn't be suprised if she goes on the missing persons list by next week.



It really sucks. Because I'm sure to a degree in his mind hes thinking "if I do enough cardio, one day I might get that girl at the bar". But what he doesn't realize is even if he DOES get into shape, shes STILL not gonna want him becauses hes too desperate/crazy. Then he'll most likely lose it completely and kill her.



Yeh couldn't agree more. I mean that is one of the truest statements anyone can ever understand about getting in shape, or really accomplishing anything in life. It sucks though because when people see shrinks, they're actually more likely to share their problems with complete strangers A LOT more then if they werent seeing one. And I'm sure you get a hefty share of that responsibility. Realistically you should be making what the shrink makes + however much the sessions cost.



Hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD.
Even coming from someone who studies counseling techniques, that happens SO MUCH in reality it would sicken you. I don't have any issue with therapy, I have a problem with therapists who really don't give a fvck about their patients and have no real clue how to help someone (which realistically is how it is so many times).

But one thing you learn about counseling is, the counselor doesn't make money unless the patient keeps coming back. So when the patients cured, the dr is out of a job. I use to go to therapy back in the day, and after a few years I basically said to myself "this was the most worthless thing I ever did with my life, & not a single fvckn thing has changed since I started".
What was EVEN WORSE. Was some of the techniques shrinks use to keep you coming back. They will actually change the subject, bring up something you're sensitive about, then come back to the topic at the end of the session. "So you were saying you were thinking about stopping therapy?". And so many times I'd say "yeh doc, to be honest blah blah blah", he'd keep us going on about it for a few minutes, then the session would end and he'd say "I really think we should at least continue talking about this next week, it seems like theres a lot more to it".
He was slick about it though it was funny to watch.

I caught on real quick and literally just never showed up again, and never called.
I do believe in therapy however, I just am real keen to how therapy can actually worsen peoples lives. It absolutely can teach a person to be complacent (learned helplessness), and not do anything with their life. But as long as you keep coming back, the therapist makes you feel like you're doing everything you can, and that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Its fvckn crazy.
I absolutely agree in the "screaming therapy". Not only does it force action, but he will absorb that strength from you as well, the same way he absorbs the casual attitude of the therapist. It just sucks that if hes seeing a bad therapist, its really gonna wind up making YOUR life that much harder. G/luck whatever happens I found this all really interesting.

you got to watch out for those guy. he sounds like someone shooting for a win/lose situation as opposed to a win/win, which imo is the way everyone should opperate. with your background im sure you seen right through his bs.

[Vitruvian-Man]

This guy obviously has issues. He sees a psychologist on a regular basis and is on medication. Sure it's your job to motivate him and get results, just be weary of what you do say to this client.

Imagine you say something that pushes him over the edge one day and he harms himself because of it, he certainly seems unstable and probably cannot cope with alot of criticism, constructive or not (although it's gods honest truth that he is a pathetic fat piece of shit). You don't want something like that on your conscience bro.

You have to be careful how you treat people with mental illnesses, because they are unpredictable and you never really know what is going on in their head.

Cosigned.

I'm really glad someone actually mentioned this point.

OP, I can totally understand were you're coming from. And needless to say the economy isn't running @ 100% right now, so I can also understand why you wouldn't want to dump the client.

I just think it's important that you realize that you're in a power position right now, and while your honest critiques may be important to the client, you should be careful about how you state your case to him. He sounds like he is extremely vulnerable (as lame as that sounds)... People who are suffering from depression or manic states don't act like normal people bro. Dealing w/ a suicide on your conscious (even if it's not your fault whatsoever).. can really mess you up... Be careful...

Anyways best of luck..

-VM

[Nooomoto]

drinks 4-5 22 oz beers Fri night, drinks hard liquor Sat and Sun.

I'll party with this guy.

Seriously though, in my short time as a trainer I dealt with a few people that I'm glad I never have to deal with again. It pisses me off when fat people whine about being fat, but won't take the steps to correct their problem. It's not for lack of sympathy. At 18 I was a 300 lb bucket of pure lard...but I didn't fkin cry to anyone about it. I just got sick of it one day and hit the gym and never looked back. That's why it's so hard for me to hear these people whining. I'll accept the whining as long as you're working towards your goal, but if you just sit there and complain...shit makes me sick.

[Kratos]

you might have done him a huge favor by telling him the truth
you might have further hurt his self esteem
either way it's worth a try

For me I was always challenged and motivated by people who called me out and made me feel inferior, like I had to rise to the challenge.

I was a meadocre student in high school (went to boarding school) until one day durring study hall my history teacher walks in my room and finds me playing gameboy (yeah it was a while ago)...so he punches me in the arm a few times and starts yelling at me about how I've got a test in his class tomorrow and I don't know shit and I'm gonna fail based on what he's seen out of me in class so far...it was the first test of the year. He was an angry mo-fo and only maybe 25 years old and really lost his temper on me...well, he left my room and I decided i was gonna show him what was what. I studied that material for the next 4 hours and scored an A. From then on I did very well in school and it opened a lot of doors for me.

Had similar experience with my college crew coach. He made me reach another level by making me feel less conditioned and not as hard working as other people on the team. I recall him using the term fat fvck at one point (which I totally wasn't, but it worked). I was in the A boat and putting down times on the best times on the team on the rowing machine.


I do feel bad for him though...I got pretty out of shape due to a back injury. Getting in shape is like a bell curve. It's so damn hard and painful in the beginning it can be overwhelming. Few people realize fat people are so adverse to exercise and diet because it really is tougher and more painful for them.

[Ernst]

I'm honestly surprised he stayed. Maybe you are the first person who ever told him the truth and seemed to give a shit.

[NVR2BIG1]

I'm honestly surprised he stayed. Maybe you are the first person who ever told him the truth and seemed to give a shit.

Well, I honestly would not care, but he has finally told me about his problems and he's admitted to me whats holding him back. Not everybody will open up to you like that. The guy wants help, he needs me right now. So no matter what I will try my best to help him turn his life around, whether we argue or not. I also understand that we as bodybuilders are a different breed. I dont expect everyone to eat like me, or want to be like me. But this guy needs some self control and accountability.

[Nicotine]

as a person who ditched 103lbs of disgusting - i feel really no sympathy for this guy.

i hit that point...

depressed, low energy, shit sex drive, no self worth..... but, it was when i hit that point that i kicked into gear.

at what point is it when some people will do what is necessary to fix their issue?

i hit the point young, and how i felt was enough for me to take it seriously....

i couldnt imagine feeling like that my whole life, till the age of 55++ to do something about it.....

[stevey_6t9]

cant stand people like that. no sympathy what so ever

[laduem88]

cant stand people like that. no sympathy what so ever

i know really, i use to be fat myself and i did it all on my own, you need that motivation and hunger for you to accomplish a goal, any goal for that matter. having a trainer is nice but it comes down to how bad you want it.

you should tell the guy next time you meet up with him "before you binge eat remember nothing tastes better than looking good in the mirror"

[Jackedinthebox]

Dude, that was awesome!! I once had the wife of the CEO of the Home Shopping Network (1998), after unsuccesfully attempting to do 1 crunch, Break down and sob for 20 minutes in the smack dab in the middle of largest Gold's in Florida, lol! Or how about the cute teeny bopper that is wearing no underwear and her lycra knickers split almost from seam to seam on her ass while doing a squat! I truly hate this job and would quit in a heartbeat if it wasn't so colorful and the pay wasn't as good.

On a serious note. Doing the "Take Away" or "Coming to Jesus Meeting" always seems to do the trick tho, huh?

[lovestospooge23]

honestly i can understand ur point of view to a degree but i think its real cruel u created a post about a deeply mentally ill obese person who probably has very few friends, is extremely depressed has been to a mental hospital and considering the fact he paid 5k ur here u are on this thread making fun of him, i wouldn't be surprised if this guys weight is linked to his depression problems too. This is a person who...


1. attempted suicide
2. very likely his weight is linked to his depression problems
3. most likely has very few friends.
4. he paid u five grand and yes he acted like a whiny bitch but here u are making fun of him, and no one is offering him sympathy.


at least u care to a degree though and aren't like most personal trainers who couldn't give a rats ass about the guy

oh well u made this thread but i guess were all human

[NVR2BIG1]

honestly i can understand ur point of view to a degree but i think its real cruel u created a post about a deeply mentally ill obese person who probably has very few friends is extremely depressed has been to a mental hospital and considering the fact he paid 5k ur here u are on this thread making fun of him

I know, its bullshit right? If only he had paid me $5200 I would have let this one go and would not have had to go through all of this. Between my rage and my fat GH fingers I destroyed my keyboard that day writing that thread. fat ****ers!!

[NVR2BIG1]

Also, fat people feed off sympathy bro. Do you know that guy came in a week later and lost 6 lbs? Funny, the weight came off after I told him he was a slob. But then we weighed today and he gained back 3 lbs, and super bowl sunday he's going to totally **** it up and probably be right back to what he was, so no I dont give a shit, none, zero, zip. He can lose weight, he has already proved it to himself and its not my fault he isn't motivated enough to stay on track. The guy has had trainers for the past 3 yrs, he's done nothing. He's there because its cheaper than a shrink, bottom line. I should be getting paid a psychologist's salary PLUS a trainers. I'm doing this crap now as some BS p/t $$$, I'm hoping to be out of this crap by fall

[6ft5]

He's not making fun of him. We are almost all like minded people.. That's why I like this board by the way. If somebodys fat that's only a small part of them. Nvr2big needed to get his thought out no biggy. What else is there to do. Give him instant gratifacation? Give his money back and lone him up w a suck and tuck... He really wants to work he's just working on like three thought processes or sum shit he's just gota pull it together. After a bit he mite even get off sum meds. My sisters a nut like that. But I still love her.

[spywizard]

I got one like that.. his biggest complaint with me is he is only losing 2 lbs per week.. however i take measurements and BF and then I strength train him..

His real issue?? he consumes 1800 cals per day = starvation mode..

anyway, in 3 months he lost 22 lbs many many inches off all parts of his body.. oh wait except his arms.. he added 1" to them..

and yet, he's still says to me "On biggest loser"..... pisses me off..

[mcx]

Dude, thats awesome! People wonder why they don't succeed, like its our job to wave a magic wand. Surprise asshole! You need to put in alot of work!

[DCI]

That's why they are fat they are just lazy with no motivation for any type of exercise or effort to do anything for themselves or to do anything to fix their situation. One question where does he get his money if he's that much of a waster?

[Narkissos]

It pisses me off when the call and cancel just before our session, when i have a shit ton of people that would kill for that time slot

Ditto.

[boz]

This guy obviously has issues. He sees a psychologist on a regular basis and is on medication. Sure it's your job to motivate him and get results, just be weary of what you do say to this client.

Imagine you say something that pushes him over the edge one day and he harms himself because of it, he certainly seems unstable and probably cannot cope with alot of criticism, constructive or not (although it's gods honest truth that he is a pathetic fat piece of shit). You don't want something like that on your conscience bro.

You have to be careful how you treat people with mental illnesses, because they are unpredictable and you never really know what is going on in their head.

So true, keep your whits about ya mate.

[kojak_x]

Sounds like you need to do a better job as a personal trainer.








































joke!

[BeastIn916]

nothing tastes better than looking good in the mirror"

Awesome quote. hah.