Are we a product of AAS or did our "problems" lead us to cycle?

[Knockout_Power]

I hope no one takes direct offense to this, but we share a lot of our personal lives on this forum and it appears a good number of our members have some kind of emotional, mental or physical "dissorder" we will call it.

We all know the world/media/general public looks at the use of anabolics (fact based or not) as a danger to themselves and others around the user. They always talk about the Chris Benoits, Lyle Alzado's, and lately the Raoul Moats of the world and point to the use of steroids....

Now this isnt a direct link to the use of steroids, but does the majority of the steroid using world usually have the kind of "issues" that can lead to the kind of behavior that the media links to steroid usage?

There are many reasons why people use anabolics, could be as simple as TRT, a lot of youngsters want to "be big and intimidating", "better atheletes", not be "the small guy anymore", have "the ideal body" but is this an early warning sign of potential insecurities, feelings of inadequaties that forshadow later more imminent issues?

I know Im having trouble getting to the point Im trying to make and the question I would like opinions on, but I will ask it like this....

Are people who are inticed by the prospects of what steroids can do to/for them, the same kind of people who are typically found to be a little less "stable" psychologically?

Again, I know some people may take offense to this, just trying to look at the whole world of anabolics users a little differently. I know you cant lump a group this large into a single sterotype so I dont mean the majority, just a good number of users.

Feel free to give all comments and also to tell me Im full of shit if you feel so.

-KP

[Hazard]

I was always a tall skiny bastard..... definately wanted to change that. It really had nothing to do with anyone else tho..... i knew what I wanted to look like.

Whatever problems I have now..... I would have had without steroids. Possibly with the exception of being cool as fvck. Then again..... thats not a problem

~Haz~

[spoken_truth]

ya any problems i had was before i cycled, maybe it was a feeling of inadequacy or something along those lines, but unlike many people i know what i want and i know what i want to look like, and steroids help me get there...besides im more happy when i juice anyway so maybe thats a plus lol

[Knockout_Power]

yah, for me, I started cycling cause I wanted to recover faster while fight training and not lose muscle while hard cutting. I admit I have a pretty bad temper and thats been there all my life... hey, Im Italian.

[marcus300]

Its called life, many of us go through peaks and valleys, it isn't steroids what cause the highs and lows its our behaviour what leads us down the paths.

I've been in contact with many people who have committed horrendous crimes and they have had some serious emotional up bringing and some rather normal childhood and not one of them have used steroids and never will.

If someone as issues inside their head then they will still be there weather they use steroids or not, no doubt steroids may exaggerate the problem but the "problems" are there because its a part of life

[NMacFar]

A bad break up pushed me to AAS. One of the worst times of my life made me bigger, faster and stronger than I ever could have imagined. Go figure...

[Knockout_Power]

A bad break up pushed me to AAS. One of the worst times of my life made me bigger, faster and stronger than I ever could have imagined. Go figure...

a couple friends said the same thing... some admitted it was to make their ex's jealous of their new buffer body and the others it was just for their own personal pride and well being.

[PC650]

also a bad breakup that caused serious emotional problems when i was 23 led me to my aas use... and now im 29 holding strong

[warchild]

being skinny led me to steroids. who'd a thought food and protein shakes could make you grow too....

[Standby]

a couple friends said the same thing... some admitted it was to make their ex's jealous of their new buffer body and the others it was just for their own personal pride and well being.

my break up lead me to the gym. i do not use AAS but im also only 19. i would have to say the break up is what made me want to loose the 30lbs i have and gain whatever muscle i have

[dec11]

i lifted natural from 18yrs till 32yrs and when younger i'd of been pretty much against it. i stopped competing (wouldnt ever have used in competition for moral reasons) and got curious as to how big/strong i could get with steroids. more or less an experiment for me, stopped me partying and boozing so has to be good lol

[MuscleScience]

I just think in bodybuilding in general there are a lot of nutty bastards. Its a ego driven, vain sport or recreation. Which may tend to bring in a unusually high number of tool bags. However most of my best friends are into bodybuilding and powerlifting and are good people. Who Knows???

[Hoggage_54]

Being 6'5", 155lbs at 15 years old lead me to start lifting, and watching an anti-steroid documentary in my high school 4th year gym class lead me to aas...

[dec11]

Being 6'5", 155lbs at 15 years old lead me to start lifting, and watching an anti-steroid documentary in my high school 4th year gym class lead me to aas...

repost

[Hazard]

I just think in bodybuilding in general there are a lot of nutty bastards. Its a ego driven, vain sport or recreation. Which may tend to bring in a unusually high number of tool bags. However most of my best friends are into bodybuilding and powerlifting and are good people. Who Knows???

Spot on.....

~Haz~

[Stigmata101]

I can honestly say that my problems led me to lifting and finally to cycle. I def wasn't happy with my body so the only thing I could do was change it. I just wish I would have cycled about 10 years ago....

[jbran23]

Being 6'5", 155lbs at 15 years old lead me to start lifting, and watching an anti-steroid documentary in my high school 4th year gym class lead me to aas...

Hoggage you were the one I looked at in highschool and said well, at least Im not that guy! lol. I was 5'11" and about 150 when I graduated. Self conciousness and tired of being skinny lead me to weights and wanting to experiment with AAS.

[tjax03]

I just think in bodybuilding in general there are a lot of nutty bastards. Its a ego driven, vain sport or recreation. Which may tend to bring in a unusually high number of tool bags. However most of my best friends are into bodybuilding and powerlifting and are good people. Who Knows???

I agree with this. Also I think that the lifestyle involved with bodybuilding and steroid use tends to attract people with a certain level of compulsive tendencies. In order to excel in bodybuilding one has to adhere to a strict routine of dieting, training, and for the top levels, AAS use. People who tend to have obsessive and/or compulsive traits will be drawn to this lifestyle more frequently I believe. I think this also helps to explain why illicit drugs use is prevalent among hardcore bodybuilders.

[SnaX]

As far as I am aware, I love my life and enjoy every minute of it. With or without any AAS I lift for me, and for my health. It's fun

This is an interesting thread. I know I am going a little far here, and perhaps it's unwanted, but this is what I think when I hear of distraught people. It goes for everyone, not just bodybuilders. It's an epidemic of stress.

If someone is feeling they are having issues in their life, then they need to go out and fix these problems. Action cures fear. Rather than sit in their home isolated. That does no good.

As well, I would say stop living in the future, and the past. The problems don't exist. They're all in your head.
It's the same thing when people think about "What's my purpose in life"
They always think of their purpose as in the future. Like it's some place they have to get to "THERE" to that time, (which is not now where they are). So maybe they feel unfulfilled.

And we always think forward, for everything in life. When you go to drink a glass of water; When you pick up the glass and are moving it to your lips, you already want the glass to be to your lips, and when the glass is at your lips, you already want the water to be in your stomach. Then when you go to put the glass down, you already want it to be at the table while you are moving it.
All the while, you are missing everything that is going on in between.


Perhaps go for a hike, and don't lock the front door, EH.
Just work the stuff out. The only way to live life is happy, so start doing it. You are not your thoughts.

[NVR2BIG1]

Man I will tell you exactly what led me to bodybuilding and eventually steroids, and it started back in 3rd grade. I tried playing community league basketball and the coach never put me in the game. I practiced my ass off with the other kids but wasn't aggressive enough at that age, my dad also worked a ton of hours so he didnt play with me that much. Well this had gone on up until about 5th grade, before my mom finally pissed the coach off by calling the community league director and telling him my average game time was 4 minutes of time on the court. In middle school I had tried Lacrosse and Soccer, same shit. Politics, coach knew certain kids brothers or fathers, they got the game time and the favoritism. The problem was I probably could have been good at sports but I was never given the damn opportunity to go out there and develop any skills because since 3rd grade I sat on the ****ing bench. By the time high school came around I did not play any sports, nor did I have a girlfriend until 11th grade, and the bitch was ugly, but because I did not have the self esteem to go after a pretty girl I stayed with her. I was not quiet, but very shy when it came to chicks. Besides, I did not play school sports or anything so WTF would they want with me over the quarterback ya know? High school just wasnt as enjoyable to me as it was for most kids, it was a difficult time discovering myself and making friends. The turning point for me was on a day that all the kids met in the weight room for football signups. I was just in there lifting weights, when the time came to go sign up I just never did, I stayed on the bench press. I decided that I was ****ing sick and tired of being dependent on others for my success, maybe I needed to stick to weights because that was all up to me what happened with it. And nobody could sit me on a ****ing bench. By the time I started my senior year of high school people didnt even recognize who the hell I was. I was 190 lbs lean at 5'9", I had gained 40 lbs of muscle my first year of lifting. Girls looked at me, the kids who played football looked at my arms, and complimented me. Teachers spread rumors I was on steroids (even though I was not at the time) I said to myself "Well God Damn, finally something I've done that has been worth a shit and people notice!!" I'd sit in my room until 2am looking at muscle magazines, just wishing that someday I would be in one. Well 8 years later I had an 8 page spread in a national bodybuilding mag. And all those girls who didnt give a shit, and everyone who never gave me the time of day on a team, hehehehehe, I'm sure they saw it. **** em!!! But I'm still that kid in his room at 2am looking at the mags, and still that kid who sat the bench too long. I think this has something to do with it, to be 100 % honest

[D3m3nt3d]

I've always been a little disturbed. Before, during, and after steroids. So, I blame them none.

[lovbyts]

I lifted on and off from 14 - 40+ all natural. Mostly off from 35-45
After finding this site, doing research and learning about AAS and HRT I went to the doctor and got started on HRT at 45 and my life back on track.

[Knockout_Power]

lots of great life experieces in here... thanx for all the feedback guys

[xlxBigSexyxlx]

me having a small penis led to my steroid abuse.

lol


nah, like most. I was just never big,strong, fast enough. I had a scholarship to a private college for football. I asked coach why not a nice sized university...well kid, you don't have the size... well **** me right

All the chick break ups just made me do rec drugs and hit rock bottom. lol

[Igifuno]

I played football in HS and was always facinated with bb.. as I got older and my friends and old teammates started doing gear I became interested and took the plunge as well.

[SnaX]

Man I will tell you exactly what led me to bodybuilding and eventually steroids, and it started back in 3rd grade. I tried playing community league basketball and the coach never put me in the game. I practiced my ass off with the other kids but wasn't aggressive enough at that age, my dad also worked a ton of hours so he didnt play with me that much. Well this had gone on up until about 5th grade, before my mom finally pissed the coach off by calling the community league director and telling him my average game time was 4 minutes of time on the court. In middle school I had tried Lacrosse and Soccer, same shit. Politics, coach knew certain kids brothers or fathers, they got the game time and the favoritism. The problem was I probably could have been good at sports but I was never given the damn opportunity to go out there and develop any skills because since 3rd grade I sat on the ****ing bench. By the time high school came around I did not play any sports, nor did I have a girlfriend until 11th grade, and the bitch was ugly, but because I did not have the self esteem to go after a pretty girl I stayed with her. I was not quiet, but very shy when it came to chicks. Besides, I did not play school sports or anything so WTF would they want with me over the quarterback ya know? High school just wasnt as enjoyable to me as it was for most kids, it was a difficult time discovering myself and making friends. The turning point for me was on a day that all the kids met in the weight room for football signups. I was just in there lifting weights, when the time came to go sign up I just never did, I stayed on the bench press. I decided that I was ****ing sick and tired of being dependent on others for my success, maybe I needed to stick to weights because that was all up to me what happened with it. And nobody could sit me on a ****ing bench. By the time I started my senior year of high school people didnt even recognize who the hell I was. I was 190 lbs lean at 5'9", I had gained 40 lbs of muscle my first year of lifting. Girls looked at me, the kids who played football looked at my arms, and complimented me. Teachers spread rumors I was on steroids (even though I was not at the time) I said to myself "Well God Damn, finally something I've done that has been worth a shit and people notice!!" I'd sit in my room until 2am looking at muscle magazines, just wishing that someday I would be in one. Well 8 years later I had an 8 page spread in a national bodybuilding mag. And all those girls who didnt give a shit, and everyone who never gave me the time of day on a team, hehehehehe, I'm sure they saw it. **** em!!! But I'm still that kid in his room at 2am looking at the mags, and still that kid who sat the bench too long. I think this has something to do with it, to be 100 % honest

You had me at "Hello". You had me at... "Hello".
Honestly, I like this one. It has good energy!

[thegodfather]

This almost sounds like a nature vs. nurture argument, but I'll try to avoid that since its fruitless, and basically a paradox lol.

My insecurities about my weight and being skinny began in 9th grade. I was not unpopular or a nerd or anything like that, I wouldn't even say I was really picked on or anything. I hooked up with girls, did normal stuff, etc. However, a few people made comments about how skinny I was, and I began to form an identity just based off of that. I became obsessed with being bigger. I was always smart, and I began to shape my own beliefs that mental strength and physical strength are equally as important.

Adding to my situation, was that I grew up in New Jersey, which is for all intents and purposes, the unofficial juice capitol of the United States, and perhaps even the world. Lifting and being "big" is a very REAL cultural thing here. I have lived in other states, gone to bars in other states, and no other place will you see as many blatent juiceheads out at the bars. So during my junior year of HS, my best friend started juicing, and he made remarkable gains, and instantly the attention he got from it was awe inspiring. He was actually kind of a geek, was into dirtbikes and stuff, but most girls didnt really pay him any attention, nor did anyone else really...He became one of the most popular guys in school overnight, and by proxy, so did I, although I had been very well known prior to this. This is what peaked my interest in juice. I already had a pretty serious complex about my weight and being skinny, and I had began to lift weights in the middle of junior year, with modest gains. At this time, I was still decidedly anti-steroid.

This all changed my senior year. I had a bad breakup, and I was determined to take my body to new heights. So what did I do, I ordered a lot of M1T (Methyl-1-Test) and I read up for weeks on diet. I started precooking meals, and during lunch I would eat 6 turkey sandwichs, and 3 peanut butter and jellys, with milk. I was doing everything I could to get in calories, carrying protein bars around, shakes, etc. I started an M1T cycle, and I went from 140lbs to 168 lbs in 6 weeeks, and KEPT IT ALL. I was HOOKED at that point. INSTANTLY the amount of attention I got from girls went way up, not that I ever had a probelm getting ladies, it was just much easier. Equally, I got a lot of attention from my peers, guys would compliment me on my progress, they were asking ME for tips on lifting. During that year, me and my close group of 6 friends, became known as "the juice crew." We were all into lifting/bodybuilding, and most of us juiced. In fact, when senior year ended, 1 week after it ended, the 6 of us got together in my room, and we all started our cycles, we called it a "PIN PARTY." It was great, kind of weird, but great. Since that time, we had a reputation for being the big guys, the juicers, and I actually kind of fell in love with that identity for a while. Soon, I was 193lbs at 12% bodyfat, and I was getting respect from everyone when I went out to the bars, I felt invincible, I felt like i was worth something. The simple fact of having a lot more sculpted, defined muscle made my feeling of self worth go up substantially.

So in short, that has been my love affair with anabolic steroids. I love steroids, I love bodybuilding, I love how steroids make me feel, what they do for me, just everything about them.

[stevey_6t9]

two words.

muscle dysmorphia

[Nicotine]

having no testosterone in my body led me to aas :P

i love having a sex drive.

[lovbyts]

having no testosterone in my body led me to aas :P

i love having a sex drive.

I love have a sex Overdrive.

[Gaspari1255]

This is such a good and difficult topic, at the same.

When I was 16 years old, I was 260lbs at 38% bf. My pants size was a 44 and they were getting tight. I hated the way I looked. I hated myself. I was an unhealthy, disgusting, physical specimen. I began to starve myself basically. I went from 260lbs to 170lbs in 4 months. I ate about 500 calories a day and ran 3 or 4 miles. I was obsessed with losing weight. I was 6'2" at 170lbs and still felt fat. It was really getting to my head. I decided to just start benching in my garage with the hopes of getting my chest to grow to make my stomach to appear smaller (even though the stomach was non-existant). My bench press started going up even without eating. As soon as I benched 225 for the first time, I made up my mind, I had a new obsession...it was getting fvcking big. So four years later, 3 cycles deep, I am now 245lbs at 14% bf with close to a 405lb bench press. I LOVE the feeling of being on but HATE the feeling of being off. I'm not so sure it's worth it...

[cherrydrpepper]

-

I hope no one takes direct offense to
this, but we share a lot of our personal lives on this forum and it appears a good number of our members have some kind of emotional, mental or physical "dissorder" we will call it.

We all know the world/media/general public looks at the use of anabolics (fact based or not) as a danger to themselves and others around the user. They always talk about the Chris Benoits, Lyle Alzado's, and lately the Raoul Moats of the world and point to the use of steroids....

Now this isnt a direct link to the use of steroids, but does the majority of the steroid using world usually have the kind of "issues" that can lead to the kind of behavior that the media links to steroid usage?

There are many reasons why people use anabolics, could be as simple as TRT, a lot of youngsters want to "be big and intimidating", "better atheletes", not be "the small guy anymore", have "the ideal body" but is this an early warning sign of potential insecurities, feelings of inadequaties that forshadow later more imminent issues?

I know Im having trouble getting to the point Im trying to make and the question I would like opinions on, but I will ask it like this....

Are people who are inticed by the prospects of what steroids can do to/for them, the same kind of people who are typically found to be a little less "stable" psychologically?

Again, I know some people may take offense to this, just trying to look at the whole world of anabolics users a little differently. I know you cant lump a group this large into a single sterotype so I dont mean the majority, just a good number of users.

Feel free to give all comments and also to tell me Im full of shit if you feel so.

-KP

Hi KP. I read your response and I read Haz's. Thats it.

First let me say I respect you. I totally thought you were a meathead. You really do think with both your dick and your mind. Which is rare.

You didn't have to put yourself out there. In fact you are very popular on this forum. People like you. You could keep bullshitting along as whatever. But you were like f it I have something to say. You don't like me that much. Thats fine dude. I respect you none the less. I like your posts in fact.

So I scroll back and I read what you typed. Ok the first paragraph. Let me remove the pu$$y and say that you are talking about me. I wish it wasn't so; I wish I was normal but im not. Scrolling down.

Reading your 2nd paragraph, mentioning Chris Benoit is a buzzkill. Guy was a ****. I know people in the media have made him a posterchild, but the truth is he's the exception. He's the marine that shoots their friends. Yeah people break like that and they don't deserve to be shit on. They broke thats all that happened. At the same time they are blackballed.

You type some more filler. Let me answer in my own special way.

I met a girl tonight. She was soft and sweet. To a degree. I had her eating out of my hand. My boys were coming up to me telling me how great I was and how I was going to **** her. In the middle of the night she changed. She decided she did not like me. In fact she wanted nothing to do with me. I took this as indecisiveness on her part, remembering a post haz made.. "if you left.. you lose". I kept trying to get on her. When it was too much, I jumped on a hand grenade in the bar, hoping to get laid or **** this dumb bitch that was going rogue on me.

My followup girl wanted nothing to do with me after a while. She could sense my desperation. I think Im a good looking guy. I could have been FABIO and this bitch would have said go **** yoursellf at the end of the night. She was one of the exception bitches; she would prefer an ugly guy with interests similar to hers over a good looking guy with nothing in common.

Ok then KP you say:

"I know you cant lump a group this large into a single sterotype so I dont mean the majority, just a good number of users."

But let me ask you this kp. What am I supposed to think.

What am I supposed to think when I go out for 7 nights in a row, and half the nights a cute girl basically says "i thought you were good looking but you're not what I was looking for."

Or how about the nights I go out and I debate putting a gun to my head. Do you know what that feels like? To feel like the only reason you don't put a .50 to your temple is your parents. That you don't want to see that look on your dads face when they lower your casket into the ground, knowing you could have prevented that.

**** it though you didn't log on to hear this shit and in fact it has nothing to do with you.

What the **** was your question; something about aas?

**** it I dunno man. All I know is we are all responsible for our own actions, and this is just a forum. I apologize. Peace.

[lovbyts]

cherrydrpepper
Sometimes life sucks, sometimes you fell you are alone and always will be. Eventually it all passes and eventually none of that matter because you find someone you want to be with and they want to be with you.

As soon as someone decides to pull that trigger none of it matters either because it's all over and they will never have the chance to be happy. As long as you are alive and breathing there is always hope. We all experience the down times. I have gone 2+ years without even dating before. Partly because I was being a dad and partly because every time I went out I just didnt hook up.

It's true though, when it rains it pours and also when you arent looking for it (truly NOT looking for it) you find it.... Go figure.

If you want a guaranteed (Yes Guaranteed) Ego trip go visit either Thailand or Philippines. Personally Thailand is more FUN, more things to do, more bars etc but Philippines is more Real. Women/Girls who come up to you #1 because you are foreign. #2 if you are in GOOD shape you are a God. There are very few guys there that have any size. Im by no means Huge. I worked out on vacation in a gym and one of the trainers also competed locally and other cities. I was bigger than he was and he kept commenting on it also. LOL

It's a great ego booster only problem is it's also addicting.

[Knockout_Power]

You don't like me that much. Thats fine dude. I respect you none the less. I like your posts in fact.
.

bro, whats up? Dont think I didnt read your entire post (thats some deep shit man, sorry to hear life's gotten that rough), Im just singling this portion out.. I dont dislike anyone on this board. I have no reason to, I think your posts are fvcken hilarious sometimes.

[Knockout_Power]

I met a girl tonight. She was soft and sweet. To a degree. I had her eating out of my hand. My boys were coming up to me telling me how great I was and how I was going to **** her. In the middle of the night she changed. She decided she did not like me. In fact she wanted nothing to do with me. I took this as indecisiveness on her part, remembering a post haz made.. "if you left.. you lose". I kept trying to get on her. When it was too much, I jumped on a hand grenade in the bar, hoping to get laid or **** this dumb bitch that was going rogue on me.

My followup girl wanted nothing to do with me after a while. She could sense my desperation. I think Im a good looking guy. I could have been FABIO and this bitch would have said go **** yoursellf at the end of the night. She was one of the exception bitches; she would prefer an ugly guy with interests similar to hers over a good looking guy with nothing in common.

What am I supposed to think when I go out for 7 nights in a row, and half the nights a cute girl basically says "i thought you were good looking but you're not what I was looking for."
.

Or how about the nights I go out and I debate putting a gun to my head. Do you know what that feels like? To feel like the only reason you don't put a .50 to your temple is your parents. That you don't want to see that look on your dads face when they lower your casket into the ground, knowing you could have prevented that.
.

Man, fvck these bitches... none of them are worth ending your life over. Im not going to say women are useless cause the right one is worth everything, but all these other ones have no bearing on life whatsoever, so ignore them.

[MotoLifter]

im the shortest and lightest of 3 brothers. got tired of being the tiny one. im still both of those but not nearly to the extent i was growing up.


Moto

[warchild]

-

Hi KP. I read your response and I read Haz's. Thats it.

First let me say I respect you. I totally thought you were a meathead. You really do think with both your dick and your mind. Which is rare.

You didn't have to put yourself out there. In fact you are very popular on this forum. People like you. You could keep bullshitting along as whatever. But you were like f it I have something to say. You don't like me that much. Thats fine dude. I respect you none the less. I like your posts in fact.

So I scroll back and I read what you typed. Ok the first paragraph. Let me remove the pu$$y and say that you are talking about me. I wish it wasn't so; I wish I was normal but im not. Scrolling down.

Reading your 2nd paragraph, mentioning Chris Benoit is a buzzkill. Guy was a ****. I know people in the media have made him a posterchild, but the truth is he's the exception. He's the marine that shoots their friends. Yeah people break like that and they don't deserve to be shit on. They broke thats all that happened. At the same time they are blackballed.

You type some more filler. Let me answer in my own special way.

I met a girl tonight. She was soft and sweet. To a degree. I had her eating out of my hand. My boys were coming up to me telling me how great I was and how I was going to **** her. In the middle of the night she changed. She decided she did not like me. In fact she wanted nothing to do with me. I took this as indecisiveness on her part, remembering a post haz made.. "if you left.. you lose". I kept trying to get on her. When it was too much, I jumped on a hand grenade in the bar, hoping to get laid or **** this dumb bitch that was going rogue on me.

My followup girl wanted nothing to do with me after a while. She could sense my desperation. I think Im a good looking guy. I could have been FABIO and this bitch would have said go **** yoursellf at the end of the night. She was one of the exception bitches; she would prefer an ugly guy with interests similar to hers over a good looking guy with nothing in common.

Ok then KP you say:

"I know you cant lump a group this large into a single sterotype so I dont mean the majority, just a good number of users."

But let me ask you this kp. What am I supposed to think.

What am I supposed to think when I go out for 7 nights in a row, and half the nights a cute girl basically says "i thought you were good looking but you're not what I was looking for."

Or how about the nights I go out and I debate putting a gun to my head. Do you know what that feels like? To feel like the only reason you don't put a .50 to your temple is your parents. That you don't want to see that look on your dads face when they lower your casket into the ground, knowing you could have prevented that.

**** it though you didn't log on to hear this shit and in fact it has nothing to do with you.

What the **** was your question; something about aas?

**** it I dunno man. All I know is we are all responsible for our own actions, and this is just a forum. I apologize. Peace.

dude, come on now. when life isn't going your way try changing your life around. nothing in this world is worth killing yourself over. today is a brighter day

[marcus300]

-

Hi KP. I read your response and I read Haz's. Thats it.

First let me say I respect you. I totally thought you were a meathead. You really do think with both your dick and your mind. Which is rare.

You didn't have to put yourself out there. In fact you are very popular on this forum. People like you. You could keep bullshitting along as whatever. But you were like f it I have something to say. You don't like me that much. Thats fine dude. I respect you none the less. I like your posts in fact.

So I scroll back and I read what you typed. Ok the first paragraph. Let me remove the pu$$y and say that you are talking about me. I wish it wasn't so; I wish I was normal but im not. Scrolling down.

Reading your 2nd paragraph, mentioning Chris Benoit is a buzzkill. Guy was a ****. I know people in the media have made him a posterchild, but the truth is he's the exception. He's the marine that shoots their friends. Yeah people break like that and they don't deserve to be shit on. They broke thats all that happened. At the same time they are blackballed.

You type some more filler. Let me answer in my own special way.

I met a girl tonight. She was soft and sweet. To a degree. I had her eating out of my hand. My boys were coming up to me telling me how great I was and how I was going to **** her. In the middle of the night she changed. She decided she did not like me. In fact she wanted nothing to do with me. I took this as indecisiveness on her part, remembering a post haz made.. "if you left.. you lose". I kept trying to get on her. When it was too much, I jumped on a hand grenade in the bar, hoping to get laid or **** this dumb bitch that was going rogue on me.

My followup girl wanted nothing to do with me after a while. She could sense my desperation. I think Im a good looking guy. I could have been FABIO and this bitch would have said go **** yoursellf at the end of the night. She was one of the exception bitches; she would prefer an ugly guy with interests similar to hers over a good looking guy with nothing in common.

Ok then KP you say:

"I know you cant lump a group this large into a single sterotype so I dont mean the majority, just a good number of users."

But let me ask you this kp. What am I supposed to think.

What am I supposed to think when I go out for 7 nights in a row, and half the nights a cute girl basically says "i thought you were good looking but you're not what I was looking for."

Or how about the nights I go out and I debate putting a gun to my head. Do you know what that feels like? To feel like the only reason you don't put a .50 to your temple is your parents. That you don't want to see that look on your dads face when they lower your casket into the ground, knowing you could have prevented that.

**** it though you didn't log on to hear this shit and in fact it has nothing to do with you.

What the **** was your question; something about aas?

**** it I dunno man. All I know is we are all responsible for our own actions, and this is just a forum. I apologize. Peace.

You have to learn to be happy alone and be content by yourself before you can be with someone, needing and wanting someone so you become happy isn't ever going to work. Try reading some self help books they do work but don't ever contemplate killing yourself be happy with what you got and you will be rewarded in the end.

[MACHINE5150]

I did steroids because i wanted to be bigger than i already was.. i hit a glass ceiling at 210lbs and couldn't break it w/o juicin..