Blog Comments

this session i felt like i really wanted to get back on a cycle. i had to tell myself tonight it doens't matter if my eating isn't quite right (I've been broke) lately, or that my workout will be shit. (it wasn't tonight. it was good. i just didn't kill it.) what matters is my routine. that i simply go.

see i recently got some very stressful news that i might have to do this thing for the next three years that's probably going to cause me to drop about 30lb from running lots, sleep deprivation, being on my feet all day and not having hardly any time to eat. it's really been messing with my head. I'll have to leave the people i care about as well for 3 years. i want to stay focused because i want to get as huge as possible before i go. when i'm there i'm going to try and eat tons and slam weight gainer shakes and eat loads of chow whenever i get the chance.

oh and there is bad news for me. i'm about to do something for 3 years that is going to cause me to drop about 30lbs. tons of running, lack of sleep/deprivation, and literally not having time to eat is what i'm in for. on the flip side, I'll get to hold a special title that few possess. i'm scared, nervous, excited, angry, and sad. it's going to turn my entire life upside down and cause me to be away from people close to me. i've ordered Testosterone Undecanoate. i need to research how long i can make a shot last. i'm going to need one to last around 13 weeks, but less is fine i suppose. i will have some nights to myself. this entire period i'm going to just TRT it. alpha levels though of course. back is feelin it a bit. hopefully that tightness stays the same all day tomorrow.

lifts tonight were so so. upper back and lats with forearms and abs. worked up a good sweat liftin' i always do. I've been broke the last couple of days and not being able to eat all day has put a hamper on my metabolism and i don't feel like i'm maximizing my lifts in the gym. regardless though my routine is keystone. i can almost feel/notice my metabolism slow down. eating small meals throughout the day sure does help. i usually just put away the protein via yogurt and cottage cheese, but since being broke i havn't been able to feed myself protein literally all day. that seems to really work for me. granted cottage cheese has a good amount of incidental fat and carbs. plain yogurt has incidental carbs as well. i seem to do welll with that ratio. i should look into that.

neck still slightly bugging me. eating was messed up today because of a work lunchin' or whatever they are called. good news is i got my BCAAs as long as i keep up the protein until Beddy bye i should be good. shoulders, upper back abs and forearms tomorrow.

I did chest tonight... i keep getting stronger, but i'm whooped! did 6 of 225lb great. new personal record. i'm not feeling very good though. i hurt. for days. last time i didn't get sore. if i don't get sore this time then i really will be confused.

did biceps last night despite this neck thing. it's still an issue... doing chest today.

still have that damn crick in my neck. it's destroying me sense of routine. good part is that i can start anywhere i like next time i step into the gym.

think i'm over eating too. gotta start the diet. i had a good idea about that diet as well that makes it seem like less of a pain and helps me get better at eyeballing stuff. even if i don't have a weeks worth of food or whatever i can just throw together a days diet from the thing i choose just to see what it looks like when it's all prepared.

gonna stay away from carbs today and eat conservatively when it comes to fat. protein is still going to stay 200 and up. currently waiting on rolo and prami. if it's g2g then I'll switch over from my current ancillary vendor. future looks bright as long as i can remember that routine is my Achilles heel

got a crick in my neck today. might take today off.

my legs are good and sore. nice.

Some Bloods are in. these were free for me, so i save a couple bucks. need the rest. should i get anything else to prepare for a deca, test, dbol, and peptide cycle? the suggestions i got are below my blood results

got a lipid panel
Cholesterol 129 range 0 -200
trigl 43 range 0 - 150
HDL 37 low range > 40 <<<<<<<<so this is a little concerning. i need to fix this don't i?
ldl 83 range 0 - 100

Glucose 99 range 70 - 99 / i was fasting too (this seems bad)
Urea nitrogen 19 range 7 - 21 <----------this pretty good?
creatine .984 range .68 - 1.17 <-----------looks good?
gfr 87.1 range -
sodium 139 range 136 - 145
potassium 4.5 range 3.5 - 4.7 (this is good? little high end better?)
chloride 105 range 98 -107
carbon dioxide 29 range 21 - 32
calcium 8.5 range 8.5 - 10.1 (seems low for somebody juicing. on TRT at the moment 250mg / week.)
asparte amino 28 range 10 - 37
alanine amino 42 range 10 - 65 (what's this. i know alanine is a sup. anything to do with cortisol output?
alkaline phos 81 range 45 - 117
bilirubin .3 range .2 - 1 <-------------great news yea?
protein 7.8 range 6.4 - 8.2 <-----------------(it's very bad when this is high right? or does it just mean somebody could be in keto and not exercising enough?)
albumin 4.0 range 3.4 - 5.0 <-----this mean anything?

set a personal record today. 265lb squat 3 times. could have squatted it 4 times probably. i also havn't military pressed 135 in a long time. did that just a little bit to see if i could get 10. i did. i talked to this guy today about lifting. he told me about the wendler ap. what drop sets really are, ascending, descending, joker sets, super sets and giant sets. he said it all promotes muscle confusion. i feel like squatin today is going to get me soar. we will see. right now im still focusing on sticking to making it to the gym. that i go is still the most important thing. i don't know. going in the gym and slaying myself seems to be working. i work up a good sweat doing it. i feel like i've done something when i got a few beads running down my forehead. shoulder is bugging me a bit, but its not bad.

wendler app looks good to go. i might get a god forsaken iphone just for the app. maybe...

did upper back and lats tonight. also forearms and abs.
think i did a good job. i was able to do more weight than i thought i could with proper form.

eating has been kinda off. not getting in as much as i could be. protein is staying high though. I've been getting really thrashed after a workout. i wonder if recovery is being impacted negatively somehow. maybe its the fact im not taking as high of doses. recovery is taking longer. thought i crushed my legs last leg day and then i barely felt anything afterward. when im really juicing is always get sore but i recover quickly. y strength has increased but my muscle endurance feels like it went down. not sure what to make of it. maybe water?

next day i did chest at work, only a few sets on the bench. my 225 reps went up to 3 now. i'm not feeling well tonight. I've been eating good and i got a big craving for junk food. now sure why. i feel like i need to rest too. i want to go to the gym tonight, but i told somebody i'd make ceviche tonight... time to rest BACK tomorrow.

going to bed early. i feel run down.

today i did shoulders. heavy and light. then i did leg press at 540lb. that's a lot better than i did last time. now i know where i am and should be going. going heavy with shoulders and doing military presses is also something else i picked up.

doing shrugs tonight. gonna change things up and make a post about it.

So got my calipers and did my 7 point test with a friend. According to it i'm 12.59% BF! boss is telling me i'm 18%... FML...

here is where i did my test
https://www.free-online-calculator-u...fold-test.html

did chest tonight and got it in. did triceps too. shoulder concerned me at first, but that first round of TB500 had permanent effects on me. i need more though. i feel like I'm falling into a groove. possibly time to change a few things. I'd say so. not getting weaker. i feel like i'm getting stronger. not quite sure. that diet seemed to stall me out a bit. glad it only lasted 2 days. my calipers should be coming in soon. i really enjoyed my time tonight. felt great. this time it wasn't about progress progress progress, but i think I've been making some. just felt good. i felt solid, but not like i feel on a cycle. that feels like an awesome explosion.

its starting to feel like it's something i just do. i like that. i like to know i feel like a permanent fixture. ill say though I'm sore for days now rather than just 1 day. doing 250mg / week.

i believe this is month 2 of dedication. there is a long long road ahead of me... and i'm doing it alone. i mean sort of. this place and gear definitely help, lol

Feeling good this morning, but i feel like I'm shrinking.[not freaking out. diet and consistency or the most important things. juice and mass have to be second.] getting just a tad excited about this diet because i had an idea on how to structure it, so i can eat almost whatever clean food i want. certain clean foods have a bit everything in them and others just don't, so I'm going to plan 1 days diet around what I'm calling a foundation food. a tub or cottage cheese, or a tub of plain yogurt has a mixed spread of carbs and protein and likewise delicious chicken thighs have fat and protein. so basically the diet is centered around that macro which has the highest macro dispersion in it.

maybe 1 day i want to eat a whole tubs of cottage cheese, or even 2 tubs. that's fine as long as i compensate with simpler foods. later i might have 2 foundation macros in my daily diet, but for now i think this is a step up from the single category foods like albacore tuna, fish oil, and steel cut oats. those are basically single group macros. this sort of thinking is actually rolling into my cooking and the types of things i can make in the kitchen. it's naturally happening because it's changing the way i think. that's pretty cool. this also opens to door for me to pay attention to what nutrients i'm putting into my body, potassium, magnesium, phytonutrients because i can make that thing a foundation as well.

update

Did Biceps, and abs today. during the workout i had that terrible disappointed and impatient feeling again. I also noticed some strength loss perhaps as well. i can't really be sure though because i did 2 sets of inclined smith bench press and 4 squats. everything seemed somewhat normal. although, last chest session i was able to do 5 or 6 reps of inclines bench on the smith, weight 205lb, easily. that was right on the 1st or second day of that terribly depleted diet. i think that session weakened me rather than strengthened.

I quit the screwed up diet after getting some better advice, but what troubles me is i took 2 days off on the day i quit the diet; then worked out; and then took another day off and last night i stayed up until 2:00am! i don't like the pattern that may have begun. what i do know is that the most important part is me going to lift and stay consistent; that to expect things right away is wrong; that to be worried about dips and strength bumps is pointless compared to the bigger picture.

for me yes part of it is growing, but with everything i have going on, i have to enjoy lifting and with the commitment issue i have i can't get obsessed with fast gains. I've got to make this literally part of who i am. right now i just feel like a tourist.

bought calipers today. going to bed now.

alright, update.

was feeling lethargic tonight. went to the gym anyways. started shoulders and felt pretty weak at first but then i got it in. it funny. i never walk away now feeling like i didn't do something significant. there was a time when that happened to me a lot. but not since I've been reading about form and technique and how smaller muscles need to be worked longer for more reps.

eating again, but i need some calipers badly. gonna get sum tomorrow.