Originally Posted by
PPC
Yes, it's interesting to see this thread again and what was written in it. I'm glad Flats, that things have not regressed and that they have made a small turn for the better.
Looking at the things I wrote back then, I still see the need for hormone repla***ent when sex hormones are missing. Now though, I think attitude plays equally or even greater a part. Having a great libido stemming from a good hormone profile is a wonderful thing. But I think there has to be a heart change too. I have witnessed some women get hormonally tuned and then put all their new gusto and energy into things other than their sexual relationships. Don't know why that happens, but it does sometimes, maybe these types are just low desire due to the way they think about sex. It might have to be a strong physical urge before they realize they are horny rather than just simply sexual thoughts or feelings of closeness with their spouse inspiring sexuality.
Sometimes spouses just get to a place where they think it's okay to have a lagging sex life and other things take greater importance. I'm not polite enough to keep my mouth shut with any of my female friends about this. Probably they see me coming and run LOL. But if you signed up for marriage, you essentially signed up to be a sexual person. Marriage is defined by that sexual love, it's what separates it from all other relationships. Anything other than honoring that sexual relationship is bait and switch. Cultivating sexuality in a long term relationship takes much practice, frequency, devotion and focus. Maybe I feel so strongly about this because in my marriage, I have worn the shoe from the other foot and know what it feels like for you guys who's partners lose interest.
So I wanna tell your partners, "Hey, give your guy great sex, what's not to love about it!!!" But of course, they won't hear that from me. Instead, they often hear the same complaints from their married friends and feel justified in their attitude to sex.To hear it from you they just think, blah, blah, he's on about sex again.
A good book is "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," but how do you tell your wife to read that without having her immediately bristle? Dunno. Patience is good, but keeping up communication about what you need and how wonderful and important sex is to the relationship is also key. That's my latest rant on the subject. I hope things just keep on getting better Flats.