HELP... i just want to feel normal again. silly decisions=massive regret

**dcyp** · 05-08-2017, 04:56 AM

I've finally decided to stop reading everyones else similar threads and post my own. i know i will be flamed but i need help/advice.

I started Cycling when i was 20. i did a regular 12 weeks cycle of a combination of AAS. Recovery after this cycle was fine (testicles returned to normal size/no depression etc) and blood test showed a full recovery.

After 4 months i decided to do another cycle. As a result of competing and being very successful i remained on cycle for a long periods of time, i would do 6 months on at a time and use a combination of sus, tren , mast, primo, test prop, var,npp (i used hcg every 8 weeks and used 300iu eod until a 5000iu kit was finished and would always recovery and have blood tests as primary evidence.. i'm now 23 and decided to come off cycle basically as a result of loss of libido. During the last 6 months i used AAS i lost all Libido, i thought it was high prolactin so i used caber for a week or so then it diminished again. During this time i also noticed my balls weren't giving me a physical response to hcg so they atrophied.

(pretty scary to have no sex drive on or off cycle)

I did a fair bit of research in regards to pct and recovery and i decided to do use 1000iu of hcg eod for 20 days, i ran clomid at 50mg for 30days and nolva at 40mg for 14 days then 20mg for 21 days (both nolva/clomid starting on the same day)

the issues is after finishing this pct i have zero libido. i can't even get a hard on with viagra ...but cialis seems to work. i couldn't care less about sexual encounters with females. additionally my testicular size has remained small they have dropped a little since cycle but are still very small. they have not returned to normal size (which i thought would mean i made myself primary but the blood test say otherwise?)

can anyone give me any advice in regards to why my libido would be so rock bottom and as to why my balls are still so atrophied yet blood tests show they are functioning?
consequently this has caused me to have some serious depression( and no depression is not causing this as this brought on the depression). not fun being 23 and not being able to get your dick hard.

would hmg help?

8 weeks post pct.
my bloods came back as
FSH 4 iu/L (2-12)
LH 4 iu/L (2-12)
OESTRADIOL 86 pmol/L (20-180)
Prolactin 179 mIU/L (85-430)
testosterone 13.7 nmol/L (11-32)

free test 322 (90-580)

now my levels are on the lower end but its only been 8 weeks post pct so they should continue to climb.

**kelkel** · 05-08-2017, 07:07 AM

Just have to be patient dcyp. You put a young HPTA through a lot of turmoil. You're only 8 weeks post pct which is really an arbitrary figure. Try and ride this out, live a healthy lifestyle and continue your normal routine. Most of all don't let the temporary loss of libido get in your head. Think positive, it'll come back.

**eslim** · 05-08-2017, 08:02 AM

Thats a lot of substances to put through your body in a short period of time. It won't recover right away. Won't happen overnight but the body is a pretty resilient thing. I find no shame in going to a Doctor and get their help the legit way.

**dcyp** · 05-08-2017, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by eslim

Thats a lot of substances to put through your body in a short period of time. It won't recover right away. Won't happen overnight but the body is a pretty resilient thing. I find no shame in going to a Doctor and get their help the legit way.

i have been working closely with a doctor.. i have him puzzled. He thought it could be a DHT issue so he prescribed me Proviron . I've been using Proviron at 50mg a day and seen no benefit. So i stopped usage incase of any possible shut down from it.

thanks for the responses guys

**canadian77** · 05-09-2017, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by dcyp

i have been working closely with a doctor.. i have him puzzled. He thought it could be a DHT issue so he prescribed me Proviron . I've been using Proviron at 50mg a day and seen no benefit. So i stopped usage incase of any possible shut down from it.

thanks for the responses guys

Just curious. Does your doctor know about your history? Keeping him in the dark will make it harder to help you.

**MuscleScience** · 05-09-2017, 06:02 PM

As Kel mentioned above, give it some time. In many studies for male Androgen based contraceptives. Something like 96% of people on 1 gram of Testosterone unidecanate recovered fully within 6 months of discontinued use and most were fully recovered by the 8 week mark. By the 2 year mark about 99% were fully recovered. This is after a full year of usages without any Post cycle therapy mind you.

Your body will snap back but you have to give it time and not be to reactionary.

**dcyp** · 05-09-2017, 07:51 PM

yes my doctor knows all my past history. He has monitored me over the last 3 years

**dcyp** · 05-09-2017, 07:53 PM

just more don't understand the lack of sex drive and why my balls won't return to normal size. Obviously a reduce size of testicles means reduced function.

and no libido on or off cycle?

**kelkel** · 05-09-2017, 09:06 PM

Libido goes way beyond just testicular size. But when it comes to function you are correct.

**Obs** · 05-09-2017, 09:14 PM

Great thread. Great replies kel and MS.

**canadian77** · 05-10-2017, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by dcyp

just more don't understand the lack of sex drive and why my balls won't return to normal size. Obviously a reduce size of testicles means reduced function.

and no libido on or off cycle?

Libido is definitely dependent on a lot of things including the balance of other hormones. One thing people always forget to get checked is Progesterone.

I found more than anything, Tren , NPP and Deca being progestins messed with my sex drive and my Progesterone levels tended to stay elevated after the cycle. Some of those, especially NPP can stay in your system for a LONG time. I remember this one time when I was on Tren, I couldn't for the life of me keep it up and even when I could, I was rarely able to "finish".... but my prolactin levels were through the floor. Some people just don't respond to these 19-nor compounds my friend...

Get that level checked and report back with the number, I expect to see it elevated.

**dcyp** · 05-11-2017, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by canadian77

Libido is definitely dependent on a lot of things including the balance of other hormones. One thing people always forget to get checked is Progesterone.

I found more than anything, Tren , NPP and Deca being progestins messed with my sex drive and my Progesterone levels tended to stay elevated after the cycle. Some of those, especially NPP can stay in your system for a LONG time. I remember this one time when I was on Tren, I couldn't for the life of me keep it up and even when I could, I was rarely able to "finish".... but my prolactin levels were through the floor. Some people just don't respond to these 19-nor compounds my friend...

Get that level checked and report back with the number, I expect to see it elevated.

sweet, i will get progesterone checked out and report back. how can progesterone be reduced? I'm reading winny.. but lets be honest, winny is really not the best option considering my current position. additionally i assume winny would have the same DHT effects as Proviron (which i am not seeing any benefit via using it)