Forgive me bros and gals, this may get long.
I've been with my girl friend for 3 years. We have grown to love each other very much. She is an alchohalic and has very low self esteem, cannot say no. I've accepted this and tried to help her though hard times, I've always been there to support her, even when she refuses advice.
My brother came home from Iraq this summer, in July. We were not always close, but became very close and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could. I'm sure you all can understand why, worrying my ass off about him all year. I had him move in with us, to help him get on his feeet. He is going to college, stays here rent free and I'm happy to help him in this way.
I'm sure most of you have already figured it out, they slept together....
I've got it figured out when, and she was being honest about when it happend. It actually happend 3 times and she stopped it 2 other times.
Both sides admit, my brother was the agressor, he would take advantage of her when she was drunk. I've also come to know, that he would pour her shots and try to get her to start drinking, knowing she is an alchohalic.
For some reason, she was able to tell her mom about this. Her wonderfull mom's advice, was "never let him find out, it would absolutly crush him". Eventually though, a mututal friend and a great one told me it had happend. I did not find out until 4 months after it had happend.
I recall the first night it happend though, she was at a friends cabin they were having what they call a "girls night". She would drink at these, I remember her calling me that night though. She called me to tell me she loved me, of course drunk off her ass. Told me she wanted to get married some day and have kids, stuff like that. It was normaly when she got drunk to talk like this.
On the way home though, she some how ended up in my brothers back seat on the ride home. He was going to pick her up, as he was at his girl friends house near the area. He addmited, he took advantage of her, and that she did not even remember it happening, but asked in the morning what went on.
It still happend 2 times after that, in my house. He admits it was times he would get her drunk. The other 2 times she was drunk, but stopped it, and he just decided to jerk off in front of her then instead. Other times he tried, but she would leave.
I knew she was always weak, but I guess i just assumed she could be strong for me.
I don't need to know what to do with my brother, but what to do with her. She tried to kill herself over it, i don't feel bad for anyone who does that, but I do want to make sure she is better before i go digging.
She is talking to counclors, the biggest thing they are pushing is her not to be as passive as she is from what i've read. Trying to teach her to say no. She is also getting help for the drinking now.
Do I forgive her though? Do I want to trust a girl like this even if she gets help?
It does get even more complicated though too. Her and my brother would get in fights at times. I would of course try to stay out of the middle, even though because of her low self esteem he would always be able to win. A few times I would tell him, he needs to act more mature. Most the time I tried to get them to grow from these fights though. I can't help but feel bad for allowing that to happen though, knowing some of the fights were based upon her hate for him after this.
Just seeking some guidance in a hard time from good people,
thanks
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Originally Posted by YounG_SluG11
