the anti masturbation spider!!!look out!!!

[partyboynyc]

ok i'm staying down at my mom's for the remainder of the summer. it's nice to spend time w/ my mom because we're really close, not confederate state close sickos!!!!anyway, last night i busted out a little Britney Live in Vegas on DVD and smoked it up after a long day. ok ok, i know it was wrong, but i figured since i spent my teenage years abusing myself in her house it would be ok to drop some kids before i went to bed.
so.....i go downstairs to start the abuse session and what do i see on the floor of the bathroom right by my seat of sexual release??!!!!a motherfucking spider the size of my fist!!!ok, maybe it wasn't the size of my fist, but i was banged up from the good stuff and it freaked me out!!!at the time, (and i just had to laugh about it this morning) i was thinking, "this motherfucker is not going to ruin my britney session!!!!" i got so pissed!!i was liek a wild man chasing this little fucker all over the bathroom!!!i was beating him w/ a towel and trying to step on him , but he was a crafty little bastard.he kept trying to run and hide. i could feel my desire to bang britney in the face diminishing in all of the turmoil that was the neverending chase for spider destruction!!this little son of a bitch was relentless in his ultimate pursuit for survival!!!was he a gentically enhanced spider from another world???!!!I THINK NOT!!!death becomes the spider on my watch buddy!! as fate would have it, he cornered himself and his little spider life must have flashed before his eyes in one blistering stomp!!!goodnight spider, thanks for playing!!!
i regained my composure and my erection and britney was mine in the end.and in the front too!!
either i need to stop smoking pot or my mom needs to call an exterminator because this was a traumatic experience for all involved!!!!

[Cali]

LMAO!!!

I would say I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during all of that but would hate to bring more trauma to the experience!

[Vegas Kid]

Jesus man, nothing like a spider to make you go limp in a time of need. Glad to hear you got what you wanted in the end.

You could have just sprayed something on it instead of running around after it.

[palme]

Your to funny bro

[dizzle]

Have you been leaving your used sustenon needles hanging around? The spider might have taken a little bit of that test to get that big.

[Pete235]

PB.....you are the KING of story telling!!

[partyboynyc]

i am having serious thoughts about my sanity these days.in all seriuousness, i think there is something wrong w/ me!!lately it's been one thing after the other.why am i mentally deteriorating??!!

cali, it was bad news!!that spider got what he deserved.i was so angry at the time running around in my underwear chasing a god damn spider!!!if he would have just sat still and not bothered me i would have let it watch!!!hahaha, but NOOOOOOOOO the little bastard had to get all jumpy and try and play games!!!

[partyboynyc]

it was like superspider!!like gh,slin,anadrol, 2 gram a week of test spider from hell!!oh i was talking mad shit after he was dead!!i need to write all this stuff down somewhere.someday i can look back on all of this weird shit,just give the book to my kids, and be like, " this is what drugs do to you!!" JUST SAY NO!! i mean fuck me, i couldn't make this shit up if i tried!!!why is my life so strange??!!

[Vegas Kid]

I believe you 100% when it comes to mutated bugs. In the south we have these things called Palmetto Bugs which is short for mutated super roaches. I tried to step on one and the fucker started eating through my god damn shoe! Watch out for those!

[partyboynyc]

i use to have an apartment in orlando and the size of the god damn bugs down there was rediculous!!and there were all these monster ass lizards by my pool as the time!!freaks me out!bugs scare the shit out of me!!my gf makes fun of me all the time because i make her kill anything that comes into the house

[Cali]

I used to chase my ex-husband's brothers around with spiders because they were so afraid of them. Bet they're happy we're divorced now.

[partyboynyc]

if you chased me w/ spiders!!some things are just too much to deal w/ in a relationship and spiders are my breaking point,haha.it's a little known fact that insect taunting contributes to 10% of all US divorces so don't feel bad cali

[Cali]

It was his brothers that I chased and they did their fair shair of tormenting...the spider chases were just the easiest way to get even.

Do you ever watch Road Rules?? They had to reach into a glass aquarium full of bees and a few taratulas and pull out little pins without looking.

[Sicilian30]

PB, bud, you are the king! man the stories that you tell... GD what would AR be without you bro???

[FaTbAcK]

Unbelievable

[NoLimits]

Originally posted by partyboynyc
it's nice to spend time w/ my mom because we're really close, not confederate state close sickos!!!!

Momma's Boy!

[shonuff]

funny story pbnyc knowin me if i had toked i wouldve looked at the spider and said "waz up dog, u mind dippin out the room so a brotha can handle his buisness" when i smoked back in the day i was a laid back chilled out kinda brotha.

[jeffylyte]

this is hilarious. I just keep seeing in my head a vision of partyboy jimmie in hand, shorts around the ankles on his stomping at a damn spider

[symatech]

im pretty chill when i smoke too.......

but if i had seen this "gh,slin,anadrol, 2 gram a week of test spider from hell" theres no way i could even sit down on "my seat of sexual release" i would be too afraid that this fucker would jump on me or some shit like that. shit thats a funny ass story pb!!

yes i am lmfao as i type

[dirty bird]

too damn funny PB

[tigress]

PB. I think that the fact you would be "happy" about Britney is a better indication of mental deterioration that being freaked over a spider. But that's just me.

[Butch]

I had when shit gets in the way of a"punching the clown" event......I wish you the best of luck PB.....but keep smokin'

[Jack87]

partyboy your ass is off the chain brother....



I think I need some of that shit you're smoking...

[FRANK WHITE]

Holly shit! PB Rules.

[primodonna]

But the real question is, are those little ravioli's still safe outside?

I hope you remember doing that

[partyboynyc]

i'm at my gf's house now.as soon as she's asleep i'm gonna throw on britney and try this again!!!this time i'm checking for insects before i sit down!!!nothing is worse than a bad abuse session in my opinion

[Cycleon]

see? now we know they made a mistake when they picked Tobey Mcguire - the real deal spider man speaks

[Full Intensity]

LMAO!

[The French Curler]

Cool story!

[KeyMastur]

Originally posted by partyboynyc
and there were all these monster ass lizards by my pool as the time!!freaks me out!bugs scare the shit out of me!!

i know of these. they have them down in west palm beach as well - millions of them. they're fuckin huge - up to like 6 / 7 inches - the look like baby iguanas runnin around. damn tails so heavy and long they gotta pick it up when they start to run. i tried catching one one time to keep it as a pet, but the little fucker's are fast as hell.

[Tobey]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by partyboynyc
[B]ok i'm staying down at my mom's for the remainder of the summer. it's nice to spend time w/ my mom because we're really close, not confederate state close sickos!!!!

Ok bro, because I love ya I'm letting this one slide. Can't blame you about the spiders though. Theres nothing that creeps me out more than them little creepy critters. I guess I get it honest though because it must run in the family. Actually saw my brother woop out his shotgun and blow a hole in the corner where a roach had the miss fortune of being one day. Put a hole in the floor the size of your fist!
IC

[Chyna350]

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahaha, here spidey spidey spidey, lol

[Sicilian30]

Originally posted by partyboynyc
i'm at my gf's house now.as soon as she's asleep i'm gonna throw on britney and try this again!!!this time i'm checking for insects before i sit down!!!nothing is worse than a bad abuse session in my opinion

And he is going for it again!!!! what a man!!! I wish ya all the luck amigo.!!! LMFAO!!!! Watch for the creepy crawlies

[tatty]

Going limp for a bug...LOL...don't you just hate those big ass crawlers...even a can of raid won't do the trick these days.

[*Narkissos*]

BUMP!...PartyBoy for Lounge Mod!

[Nutz56]

where the fvck do you find these threads nark? do you just sift through the 2 year old threads every day or what?

[mushroomstampr]

BUMP!...PartyBoy for Lounge Mod!

you got my vote

[mushroomstampr]

on second thought he may be a little too twisted to have avatar and title control...

[BUBBA74]

[clhp20]

i'm at my gf's house now.as soon as she's asleep i'm gonna throw on britney and try this again!!!this time i'm checking for insects before i sit down!!!nothing is worse than a bad abuse session in my opinion

If you are at your girls house, why are you going to wax one off. why not have her help you some. shyt better yet, put in that video while you and your girl are gettin busy.