Need help in telling me kids our family cat is being put to sleep.

[BOUNCER]

Story; Tigger didn't come home last night, or this morning. We looked for him but couldn't find him. It was a really nice mild night and beautiful spring morning so we thought he just wasn't bothered coming home for heat or food.

But this afternoon some neighbours found him, injured.

My wife brought him to the vet, and the vet told her that most likely Tigger has a broken spine and broken pelvis. He's pretty much 100% certain of this, but is taking X-Rays in the morning to confirm it.

My wife and kids are broken hearted tonight, Tigger is part of the family.

I'm on a 24hr duty so I can't get home this evening. But its looking certain that Tigger is getting put to sleep in the morning.

How best to I break it to the kids?. ie why Tigger isn't coming home, Where's he's gone to now being a better place etc?.

My son is 14 and my daughter is 10.

[~fuelforfire~]

**** dude, that sucks, you cant really plan on a way to tell them, you just gotta do that shit on the spot

[anaBROLIC]

you can either go with the he ran away and eventually they just will know hes not coming back. but i think you should just tell them. you dont want them spending more time looking for a cat they wont find. your kids are young but i dont think they are too young to not really understand what happend. either way it sucks and everyone is going to be sad about it.

[Myka]

I think the best thing to do is tell them the truth as you see it(pertaining to animal after life)

[BOUNCER]

Telling them it ran away isn't an option. He's in the Vets surgery tonight. He recieved meds for the pain, he's in no pain. But it's almost certain he's being put to sleep in the morning.

Evening talking to my daughter on the telephone is killing me, she wants so many answer's.

[farrebarre]

tell them the truth, buy a new cat, tell them its tiggers son or something and that ur sure that tigger would want them to take care of him. good luck bro

[~fuelforfire~]

when our first pet died i was in like grade 5 or 6, i never cried about it or anything, i was like 10 or 11 then, maybe theyll be ok.

[Booz]

mate i dont like cats but family pets are family pets......i know its hard M but you gotta tell them the truth straight....tell them the cat got into an accident and will not make it...even at 10 she will take it hard but she will understand.......get them a new moggy..your daughter will get over it whilst looking after a new kitten....
ive had the same prob myself not with a cat but with a dog........
breaks your heart knowing your kids are gonna get upsett but you know its gotta be said................

[spencer]

yeah, i'd tell them the truth. they seem old enough to hear the truth. 10 + 14

[Carlos_E]

I would go with the truth. Tell them he got sick and passed away and gone to heaven.

When I was a kid my first experience with death was a death of a pet. I think it helped me understand when my grand mother got sick and passed away a few years later.

[taiboxa]

just say it was his time to go and he was suffering greatly. and we did what was right..
hopefully the kids will undrestand .. if not they will go around offing anyone who has any type of illness thinking its right.
i.e. Lady has a cold so they cap her Just putting her outta her missery dad!

[Carlos_E]

I wouldn't tell them you had him put to sleep. Just tell them he passed on his own. I think I would be pissed and be like YOU KILLED HIM!!!! YOU KILLED HIM!!!

[oldman]

The truth is the only way to go because if something comes up later you look like the bad guy..

sorry to hear about this bro but be strong for your kids and do the right thing.


~Old

[TinTin78]

Tell them the real truth that he is in very much pain without drugs right now and the right thing to do is let him go on to a better place without pain. I would just talk about life after this and how that catsoul can come back in another form, maybe a new cat you get or a dog. Nothing dies, it just enters new shapes and bodies just like we humans do. There is nothing hard about it really, I know it's sad for them, but you explain how life is and the things I told you they will be happy for him/her.

[taiboxa]

tell them that your FAT neighbors dog got him and u DEMAND REPARTIONS and JUSTICE!!!!

[C_Bino]

Do you know how he got injured man? Was he hit by a car or ...
Knowing this may help, I mean say he just fell off a ledge and broke his spine than I would tell ur kids that, but if he got hit by a car or something I wouldnt tell them that.

[BOUNCER]

I wouldn't tell them you had him put to sleep. Just tell them he passed on his own. I think I would be pissed and be like YOU KILLED HIM!!!! YOU KILLED HIM!!!

Thanks thats the route I'm most likely going to take.

My son is old enough to realise the truth. But I'll tell my daughter that his injuries were just too bad for the Vet to fix and God called him back to him.

Its awful, I'm still stuck on duty until tomorrow morning and trying to console them all on the telephone.

You guys should see how Tigger was treated in my house, he was another member of the family, my wife bent over backwards for him.

Please god the X-rays show his back isn't broken, but the Vet says he's certain it is. Tigger can't move his hind legs, he has no control over his bowels and bladder and hasn't been moving his tail. Although he does have feelings in his feet (do cats have feet or paws?). I'm just saying a prayer tomorrow's news isn't so bad, but the Vet gave no real hope.

Having read the thread about shooting the cat in the face, and people's opinions on cats in general. Do these people have any passion in them?. Do they realise their talking about loved family pets. Tigger was treated like another member of our family.

My wife keeps crying down the phone that she can't believe how hard this is, and compares it to losing her father, sister and her brother.

Thanks for the replies and understanding guys.

[BOUNCER]

As an aside. This is the first pet I've ever had. I think after tonight I'll sell my rifle and never hunt again. I'm not sure I could go and shoot another creature after this.

[Temptation]

You're kids are old enough to understand "death"... unfortunately it's such a natural part of life (the ying of yang) that I like to think of pets as a "starting point".... They learn how to let go of a pet so they understand the concept of not coming back... it's a stepping stone to the self realization that one day they'll have to let go of someone much more important. I just read the 1st post... so maybe this is redundant but it's quite important to the process to bring the animal home from the vet... put tigger in a box w/ a blanket... his favorite cat toys and a few treats and bury him.... get one of those stones they sell where you can put his name on it or "even though you're gone you're not forgotten".... a memorial so that they can visit Tigger... I am sure you're son will adjust well but your daughter... it'll hit her hard after a few weeks... doing a small service gives them closure and when the time is ready... as a family, go pick out a kitten... Maybe name is "eeore" or something that has some relation to "tigger"...

Good Luck

[Temptation]

ok... on a side note: I had a ferret a few years back that we had in a cage outside because my MILs cat brought fleas into the house and we had to bomb it... some kid opened the cage while I was at work and the ferret got loose... the next day she was running through a yard and the family's dog grabbed her by the back and shook her... it broke her back. I found out she was gone after the Vet had already put her down and buried her... she explained to me that she was in so much pain that giving her pain meds to bring down the swelling would cause her MORE pain and they couldn't ever fix her. The only that killed me inside is that she went alone.... if this is tigger's fate -- be there with him, let him know he was loved and that it's ok to move on.

[nirish_mark20]

the truth, and just explain that it would not have been fair on him to let him life a life of pain. it was the only option, and as sad as it is, it would not have been fair to let him life.

sorry to hear this man, i love cats to bitds and lost all 3 of mine in the space of 6 months! was awful!

[Bigen12]

Unfortunately this is a lesson that your children have to learn.

I grew up on a rural highway, that took the lives of several of my pets. I remember learning of the death of my pet and the entire family would morn.

[Myka]

unfortunately it's such a natural part of life (the ying of yang) that I like to think of pets as a "starting point".... They learn how to let go of a pet so they understand the concept of not coming back... it's a stepping stone to the self realization that one day they'll have to let go of someone much more important

thats a good point and a good way of putting it

[zimmy]

now is a perfect time to let your kid experience the concept of mortality. I used to work at a vet...so i have seen all kinds of reactions...best bet is to tell him that it passed on and that it wasn't in pain. Don't go into to much details as kids can get obsessed with little things like if you tell them they passed in there sleep they might get paranoid about animals / people sleeping.

I forgot who said it...but there is a quote "your childhood is over the minute you realize you're going to die".

[~fuelforfire~]

that quotes true, pissed me off back in the day

[GQ-Bouncer]

Jesus, Tigger sure lived the life of a King at BOUNCER's house! - i bet he even got table scraps didnt he? everyone always gave him cuddles and pets to?

Tigger is blessed to be with such good people, the mourning process is absolutley unavoidable, theres nothing anyone can do or say to alleviate it to your children except for the support groups (i.e. family, friends) help pull you through.

I hope everything goes well

[BOUNCER]

Thanks for all the kind replies guys.

Its only another few hours to go now before we hear Tigger's faith.

I'll let the forum know as soon as I know anything, but I'm not optamistic.

Thanks again guys.

[Bigen12]

I forgot who said it...but there is a quote "your childhood is over the minute you realize you're going to die".

I remember it being used in the movie the Crow.

"Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die."
Top Dollar -- The Crow

[USfighterFC]

All jokes aside it sucks but its a lesson to be learned that cannot be avoided. Your children are old enough to know whats going on for real...not that the cat is going to some fantasy land. Let them know the cat is in pain and this is a very humane way of not having the cat be in so much pain anymore.

[BOUNCER]

The Vet rang this morning. Apparently tigger moved his tail, which is a good indicator that his back "may not be broke". But he's in too much shock to get sedatives for an x-ray, so he have a 24hr reprive.

So there's a small bit more hope today. But the odd's are still stacked against him.

[C_Bino]

The Vet rang this morning. Apparently tigger moved his tail, which is a good indicator that his back "may not be broke". But he's in too much shock to get sedatives for an x-ray, so he have a 24hr reprive.

So there's a small bit more hope today. But the odd's are still stacked against him.

Well I hope all goes well man. I think your kids should know that there is a possibility that Tigger wont come home though.

[Teabagger]

Heres hoping Tigger makes a full recovery. I have 2 Labs, a mutt, and 2 cats and they are all like family, and respect out to you Bouncer for being patient and hopeful and not just like...well he's sick so put'em down. See you're not the big bad meanie you protray here!!

[RA]

I would go with the truth. Tell them he got sick and passed away and gone to heaven.

When I was a kid my first experience with death was a death of a pet. I think it helped me understand when my grand mother got sick and passed away a few years later.

Ditto. As hard as it is I think it will help them prepare for greater losses.

[hoss827]

Hey bro,

Hopefully your cat will recover in full even though it may take some time. If your cat passes, just tell your kids the truth as it is the best possible thing. You said Tigger was a member of the family to you all, so if a relative or someone in your family passed away you wouldnt want to tell your kids that they were missing for an unknown reason......see what I'm saying?

You're a smart man Martin, and you have a good heart! I know you'll find a way to comfort your kids!

Heres an idea..you may like it and you may not: Find another cat that is as close to Tigger as you can..even though it will never be the same, everyone in your family will learn to love him. It will help your children accept Tiggers death and move on, and having another friend around the house would help you out too I'm sure. People and animals have some special bond....we always have to love them.

-Hoss

[BOUNCER]

Here's the little fella when he was a kitten..

[Mizfit]

Here's the little fella when he was a kitten..

cute as hell babe.. but i agree with one of the other posts about telling the children he died.

It's tough to lose a family member (YEs cats r family members!)

When i had to put my cat down who was with me for 20 years.. she cried all the way to the vet, and i cried all the way home

[hoss827]

thats the sweetest looking cat i've ever seen....I'm sorry for you all!!!

[IDF-BULLDOZER]

Cats are such amazing animals. Alot of people hate them, but their just so full of charactor. I hope Tigger makes a speedy recovery bouncer.

[zimmy]

cute as hell babe.. but i agree with one of the other posts about telling the children he died.

It's tough to lose a family member (YEs cats r family members!)

When i had to put my cat down who was with me for 20 years.. she cried all the way to the vet, and i cried all the way home

20 years...wow that was one healthy cat

[Mike Dura]

Great pic! What a cute head. That's a heart breaking story. I'm fond of cats myself and I missed my two (George and Foruna) very much when my girlfriend and I split ways and I let her keep them. I think as a parent this is a great opporunity to bond and to teach values - whatever you want to transmit to your children. In my case, because I'm an atheist, I would probably say that the cat will become part of the grass, a part of the air, a part of the sky, a part of the rain, part of the stars etc and to have my child look up at the sky and see the stars and feel the wind on your face like the breath of a cat. Everywhere you look you can be reminded of the little fella...he's always with us. That way of thinking seems to put an appreciation to not only nature but "our nature." But than again, those are my values.

Here's the little fella when he was a kitten..