need some (father to be) advise

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 06:45 PM

I found out a few weeks back that my gf of 4 years is pregnant, now this aint relaly much a problem to our life, we are in a pretty good position all round, just the only thing is, i really dont think we are ready.
I sat down with her a few weeks back, told her what i think about it, like i told her if it was 2 or 3 years in the future we would be much more settled. I would have a better idea of what i am actually going to do with my life, neither of us want to stay in teh UK forever, it was only a few weeks back she was talkign about going to dubai to work in graduate recruitment in the next year or 2.

Like i said we are in a really good position, but i really dont know if we are ready.
I have always thought that this would be an easy thing to decide, yeah abort it, and make sure you are carefull untill you ar ready (easy to say haveing never been in this position before).
We are going to the hospital tomorrow to... well i dont know what we are going for to be truthfull
It so hard, at one end i think im not ready, but on the other im like, ther is a mini me growing inside my gf.
Im sure there are plenty of you here that can shed some light on this for me, or maybe just make it like im not alone, ive talkd to a few close friends, one who was in a similar position few years back, (hes a dad now).

Im trying to keep it together, One thing after another though.
Im not the knida person to take things seriously, im pretty easy going, probaly the most easiest going person i know, just neer everthought this woudl be so hard to choose.
fvckign big thing to choose too.
help me guys.

p.s. i respect the fact that some may be dead against termination but im thinking more of the life i would like to give not the life i would have to if lumbared with a child. this is totally unplanned, my gf had the injection a few months back so we were not expecting to be in this position at all.

**Big** · 10-11-2007, 06:49 PM

No one can make the decision for you, but I can tell you from experience that I have been in your position, decided to keep the child, and now many years later looking into her eyes I couldn't imagine life without her. I now have 8 kids at home and would give my own life to save any of theirs.

**spywizard** · 10-11-2007, 06:53 PM

1st.. congradulations.. my wife and i tried for 6 years we are expecting in Nov..i have already raised 2 children to adult hood they are 26 and 24 now..

From what i know of life.. if you let your gf, or you encourage her to terminate the birth.. you might as well find a new girlfriend.. later in life.. she will never forgive you.. no matter what she says now..

man up.. and congrats..

if not now?? when??

if not her?? who??

the world is not a perfect place.. and you will never be in a perfect position to have a child..

again.. congradulations..

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 06:54 PM

yeah i understand what you mean bout life without them and stuff, my sister has said the same many times inteh past bout hers, im just one of them "what if" persons if you get me.

Do you ever wonder what if?

**Big** · 10-11-2007, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

yeah i understand what you mean bout life without them and stuff, my sister has said the same many times inteh past bout hers, im just one of them "what if" persons if you get me.

Do you ever wonder what if?

everyone wonders "what if", but would you want to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if we hadn't aborted?" Yours might be the child who some day cures cancer, etc.

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

1st.. congradulations.. my wife and i tried for 6 years we are expecting in Nov..i have already raised 2 children to adult hood they are 26 and 24 now..

From what i know of life.. if you let your gf, or you encourage her to terminate the birth.. you might as well find a new girlfriend.. later in life.. she will never forgive you.. no matter what she says now..

man up.. and congrats..

if not now?? when??

if not her?? who??

the world is not a perfect place.. and you will never be in a perfect position to have a child..

again.. congradulations..

yeah thanks, the world is never gonna be what i would want it to be, grass is always greener and all that.

I dont know, if i had to say how i am at the mo id have to say 51/49 for keeping

i think me and the gf have to have a serious chat about this.
we havent talked to our paretns yet, just incase we didnt keep it.

on you expecting congrats to you too. hope everythign goes well

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by Ima******ger

everyone wonders "what if", but would you want to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if we hadn't aborted?" Yours might be the child who some day cures cancer, etc.

yeah that is what ive been thinking what if we didnt keep it.
like i said i never ever thought that this woudl be this hard,
probably coz im a bit of a soft twat at heart, lol, always acted tough but at the end of the day, it more than just about me now.

**number twelve** · 10-11-2007, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by Ima******ger

No one can make the decision for you, but I can tell you from experience that I have been in your position, decided to keep the child, and now many years later looking into her eyes I couldn't imagine life without her. I now have 8 kids at home and would give my own life to save any of theirs.

8?? congrats bro

**number twelve** · 10-11-2007, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

1st.. congradulations.. my wife and i tried for 6 years we are expecting in Nov..i have already raised 2 children to adult hood they are 26 and 24 now..

From what i know of life.. if you let your gf, or you encourage her to terminate the birth.. you might as well find a new girlfriend.. later in life.. she will never forgive you.. no matter what she says now..

man up.. and congrats..

if not now?? when??

if not her?? who??

the world is not a perfect place.. and you will never be in a perfect position to have a child..

again.. congradulations..

...+1

**IronReload04** · 10-11-2007, 07:22 PM

would you marry her?

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 07:55 PM

Good question, thing is ive never been one for that kinda stuff.
You know marriage and kids n stuff, or so i thought.
Yeah i would say i would marry her, ive been with her 4 years and love her to bits, we get on really well etc, but i guess the thing that makes think about more than anythign is the fact that society today is so full of broken marriages n stuff. or maybe i just think too much about things.

**3bd** · 10-11-2007, 08:04 PM

keep the kid... you won't be sorry... i have 3 boys and i can't imagine it any other way. the first one is always akward... kind of like injecting for the first time

damn IGB... 8 kids?!!! wow!!! you are the stud whore king! if i had 8 i'd have to change my screen name to 8kd.. lol!

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 08:08 PM

I dont think i would be sorry, just a scary prospect. i dont normally get scared of much, nor to i shit out. but this really has my box ticking overtime.

**3bd** · 10-11-2007, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

I dont think i would be sorry, just a scary prospect. i dont normally get scared of much, nor to i shit out. but this really has my box ticking overtime.

welcome to fatherhood! relax man, the human race has been havin' kids since the dawn of time... it's a walk in the park. how old are you anyway?

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 08:13 PM

sorry was 27 in july, the gf is 26

**Kale** · 10-11-2007, 08:15 PM

dude read this www.jazzywren.com then decide if you want to get rid of the baby or not

**3bd** · 10-11-2007, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

sorry was 27 in july, the gf is 26

meh... you're the perfect age. everything's gonna be just fine. relax and have a guiness

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 08:26 PM

i know where youre coming from.
Hard stuff to swalow that, soem people think they got shit tough, i guess that is wy i ever get too down about things, there is always someone worse off than you. God Bless her.

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-11-2007, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by 3**

meh... you're the perfect age. everything's gonna be just fine. relax and have a guiness

yeah thats the thought that has entered in to my head. I knwo im amture enough, and half settled to provide a decent living, i guess its just the thought that too much is never enough.
well guys im gonna leave it there for now,
im beat and my gf is gonna be pissed at me in the fast approaching morning that i have to get up and go with her to the Hospital.
ill let you know what we decide later on.
thanks for lettign me chew yoru ear,
peace out

**Kratos** · 10-11-2007, 09:09 PM

If I had a baby it would be raised by a TV and a box of pizza. I can barely take care of myself.

**3bd** · 10-11-2007, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by Kratos

If I had a baby it would be raised by a TV and a box of pizza. I can barely take care of myself.

there's nothing wrong with that... that's how i was raised and i turn out just fine. i mean look at me... i'm quickly gaining celebrity status on an aas board!

**J-Dogg** · 10-11-2007, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

1st.. congradulations.. my wife and i tried for 6 years we are expecting in Nov..i have already raised 2 children to adult hood they are 26 and 24 now..

From what i know of life.. if you let your gf, or you encourage her to terminate the birth.. you might as well find a new girlfriend.. later in life.. she will never forgive you.. no matter what she says now..

man up.. and congrats..

if not now?? when??

if not her?? who??

the world is not a perfect place.. and you will never be in a perfect position to have a child..

again.. congradulations..

+2....I thought I was going though the same thing and this sums it up pretty well.

**Igifuno** · 10-11-2007, 10:11 PM

i have 2 kids.. had my 1st nine years ago... and my 2nd five years ago.. it very difficult for me to talk about or even acknowledge, but my wife and i aborted a pregnancy between my 2 kids. i regret it so much i can't even think about it.

**dhriscerr** · 10-11-2007, 10:22 PM

OMG! You have to keep the kid dude, they are the absolute greatest thing ever. Whats happening is your being selfish and only thinking about your future and your life. I can promise you that you will never truely be ready for a child, but I can almost gauruntee that it will be the greatest thing to ever come into your life. I am only 23 turn 24 in December, and I have an 18 month old and my second one is due in the next 30 days (Nov 10th actually) They are the greatest thing ever and I would honestly do anything for my child. No greater feeling than hearing an 18 month old tell you they love you and give you a huge kiss on the cheek. Here's the greatest thing in my life!! We honestly have over 2,000 pictures of her and she is only 18 months old.

**bpm1** · 10-11-2007, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

i have 2 kids.. had my 1st nine years ago... and my 2nd five years ago.. it very difficult for me to talk about or even acknowledge, but my wife and i aborted a pregnancy between my 2 kids. i regret it so much i can't even think about it.

ive read of many people regretting abortion, it is a life IMO
i hope u decide to keep it, i along with every one else that posted(lol) couldnt imagine my life without my kids(i have one from my wifes first marriage and one from us)they r my world!

**bpm1** · 10-11-2007, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

OMG! You have to keep the kid dude, they are the absolute greatest thing ever. Whats happening is your being selfish and only thinking about your future and your life. I can promise you that you will never truely be ready for a child, but I can almost gauruntee that it will be the greatest thing to ever come into your life. I am only 23 turn 24 in December, and I have an 18 month old and my second one is due in the next 30 days (Nov 10th actually) They are the greatest thing ever and I would honestly do anything for my child. No greater feeling than hearing an 18 month old tell you they love you and give you a huge kiss on the cheek. Here's the greatest thing in my life!! We honestly have over 2,000 pictures of her and she is only 18 months old.

i second this, beautiful family bro, keep at it!

**dhriscerr** · 10-11-2007, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Igifuno

i have 2 kids.. had my 1st nine years ago... and my 2nd five years ago.. it very difficult for me to talk about or even acknowledge, but my wife and i aborted a pregnancy between my 2 kids. i regret it so much i can't even think about it.

I feel so bad for you man. My wife and I were going through a really bad few months when she got pregnant with the second one, and it almost came down to us leaving each other and getting an abortion, but we pulled through it, and are more in love now than we have ever been, and I can't wait for baby 2 soon, then 3 and 4 in the next couple years!! I want to have all 4 of my kids by the time im 29.

**dhriscerr** · 10-11-2007, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by bpm1

i second this, beautiful family bro, keep at it!

Thanks man! But do get back to the original post, I don't think there are many people that have a child and regret it afterwards, but im sure there are a ton that do not have them and regret it.

**Igifuno** · 10-11-2007, 10:46 PM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Thanks man! But do get back to the original post, I don't think there are many people that have a child and regret it afterwards, but im sure there are a ton that do not have them and regret it.

i agree. bro its your choice but when you have your child in front of you.... there's nothing like it.

dhriscerr, great looking familiy bro! Congrats on # 2.

IG

**bpm1** · 10-11-2007, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Thanks man! But do get back to the original post, I don't think there are many people that have a child and regret it afterwards, but im sure there are a ton that do not have them and regret it.

my point exactly (in my first post,lol)

**Adam F** · 10-12-2007, 12:09 AM

Bro I am only posting these pics in hopes that you change your mind. My ex wanted to have a abortion, but i did NOT. I think my lucky stars everyday this did not happen. My daughter is truly a blessing from God and has changed my life for better.

**bpm1** · 10-12-2007, 12:16 AM

Originally Posted by Adam F

Bro I am only posting these pics in hopes that you change your mind. My ex wanted to have a abortion, but i did NOT. I think my lucky stars everyday this did not happen. My daughter is truly a blessing from God and has changed my life for better.

id tell u to clean up ur living rm but if ur little girl is anything like my little guy shes the one who trashed it,lol

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-12-2007, 06:09 AM

dhriscerr and Adam F, some bonnie little kids you got there!

I am just back from the hospital, my gf had a scan she is 8 weeks and 2 days. its strange, seeing the lil thing on the screen.
I expected somethign like a bit of a blob, but it was easy to make out the head and the limbs were pretty easy to make out too.
This makes the decision to get rid much more difficult.
in all honest i really dont think we are going to terminate now.
esspecially after seeing the image.

RA · 10-12-2007, 06:38 AM

Amazing how quickly they grow. I remember watching my tiny daughter play inside my wife. She was jumping and rolling....

Bro, its not easy to have a child. It shouldnt be. Your going to shape that person and teach them everything. There is no bigger life changing event, not even marriage but this child will make you realize whats important in life.

Im glad to hear you dont want to get rid of him/her. Good luck.

**paulzane** · 10-12-2007, 07:52 AM

Don't let materialism dictate what you do. Certain personalities can cope with abortion others can't. I don't know you or your GF so I can't say. Kids can fcuk you up for a long time .... at least 18 years.

Your choice.

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-12-2007, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by roidattack

Amazing how quickly they grow. I remember watching my tiny daughter play inside my wife. She was jumping and rolling....

Bro, its not easy to have a child. It shouldnt be. Your going to shape that person and teach them everything. There is no bigger life changing event, not even marriage but this child will make you realize whats important in life.

Im glad to hear you dont want to get rid of him/her. Good luck.

Thanks, i understand what you mean abotu the big life changing thing. Its not an easy thing to do (terminate), i thought it would have been but its not.
Im very happy as i am in my relationship now, but like me and the missus talked today, nothing is a bigger step or requires more maturity and discipline than this.
We are just talking it over about telling our parents and stuff now.
I know mine will be over the moon, that is the reason i havent told them the last 3 weeks incase i was cold enough to get rid, but now im pretty much not, i may as well let it out.

**paulzane** · 10-12-2007, 08:16 AM

Don't go telling anyone until your girlfriend has got over the 12 week point. I have experienced miscarriages at 10, 12, and 14 weeks (not me personally my wives!) and I know lots of people in the same boat. I have seen some guy giving out cigars when his wife was pregnant (8 weeks) only for her to lose it just afterwards.

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 10-12-2007, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by paulzane

Don't go telling anyone until your girlfriend has got over the 12 week point. I have experienced miscarriages at 10, 12, and 14 weeks (not me personally my wives!) and I know lots of people in the same boat. I have seen some guy giving out cigars when his wife was pregnant (8 weeks) only for her to lose it just afterwards.

yeah i hear you. i have told my parents and sister. but its a family thing so i guess they are best to be informed. im not going round telling everyone yet. to be hoenst im pretty close chested like that and keep my buiness to myself. the only people i will tell when i am telling are my close friends but that will be after 12 weeks.

**J-Dogg** · 10-12-2007, 10:49 AM

From the sounds of the people here, and the experince they have going though the same situation....this could be the best thing to happen to you.

My girl thought she was preggers not long ago, I remember I was kind of freaked out. I started a business and I honestly work 12 to 16 hours a day to make sure things get done and the business grows...I'm never home and have no idea how she tollerates that...how could I raise a kid and still make things meet?

I basicly made up my mind that we would have the kid, I would do what ever it takes to make sure he/she had a good life and would make time some how. In life, like business you have to take risk, you can always find a reason not to do somthing if you are looking for a way out.

Honestly, reading this post and the replys almost makes me want to have a kid.

**skeldno** · 10-12-2007, 02:43 PM

dont worry mate!!! i have 1 daughter and 2 step daughters and my gf is pregnant! im only 23 and im not worried at all! it aint hard work! just make sure you do your half and its all easy!!!!

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