Question for the gay members

[goodcents]

I think it would be interesting to have a conversation about this subject from the point of view of a gay member to maybe get to understand it better. I used to be a homophobe years ago till I started getting more into the business world and assist many different types of people. I am not gay just curious about the day to day things that you do. Please lets show our maturity here Just wandering things like this to get it started:
When did you "know" you were gay?
Did your family approve?
Do you feel you are treated differently?
What do you see as a stereotype by other straight or even gay friends or public?
I offer this as a respectful serious decussion so we can share ideas and get rid of "false" information I think it would be great to keep a gay thread open so that gay members and straight members could just talk freely about this or just communicate with others in a mature way. Please if someone post something bad, could we just delete the offensive response.

[goodcents]

I think we are "big" enough to treat this like adults

[BITTAPART2]

good idea bro, b ut i definatly see a lock coming when all the ignorant immature people start clowning. hopefuly we can remain mature about this fellas. bump

[Panzerfaust]

In before the lock

[cj1capp]

When did you "know" you were gay?
Did your family approve?
Do you feel you are treated differently?

i am not gay but these questions seem they would apply to all people despite sexual preference.


When did you "know" you were gay (straight) for me it was at around the age of 5 or 6 i knew i was in love with this girl named melissa.




Did your family approve? did my family approve of my first true love , no they hated her they thought she was just using me.


Do you feel you are treated differently? no my parents hated booth
my sisters and mine choices in those we wanted to have relationships with.



I think this just says that people are people and what ever hang ups or prejudice's some people personally have are sings of intolerance and narrow mindedness.

Who i love or fack in no way effects any one else .
i enjoyed your post and I hope it will get others to open their minds and hearts.

[goodcents]

When did you "know" you were gay?
Did your family approve?
Do you feel you are treated differently?

i am not gay but these questions seem they would apply to all people despite sexual preference.


When did you "know" you were gay (straight) for me it was at around the age of 5 or 6 i knew i was in love with this girl named melissa.




Did your family approve? did my family approve of my first true love , no they hated her they thought she was just using me.


Do you feel you are treated differently? no my parents hated booth
my sisters and mine choices in those we wanted to have relationships with.



I think this just says that people are people and what ever hang ups or prejudice's some people personally have are sings of intolerance and narrow mindedness.

Who i love or fack in no way effects any one else .
i enjoyed your post and I hope it will get others to open their minds and hearts.

Good response. I see this as an interesting thread if more people respond like you I like the different angle you put on it too

[zodiac666]

I think we are "big" enough to treat this like adults

i'll mail you a check for $5,000 if no one is suspended/banned and the thread is still open by morning, that's how confident i am that admin will maintain order.

[DSM4Life]

“….. just curious about the day to day things that you(gay people) do”

Why would it be any different then any straight person? Not sure if you meant to state the question this way.

[gixxerboy1]

“….. just curious about the day to day things that you(gay people) do”

Why would it be any different then any straight person? Not sure if you meant to state the question this way.

It has to be different. I spend 80% of my day thinking about banging some hot girl. So that only leaves 20% of my day that we would have in common.

I'm only joking. Its 70%

[STYLE74]

In before the lock

+2 I don't see gay or straight white or black, I just see people for who they are. There are trash people of ALL races and backgrounds and gay or straight. It's all about who the person is and his/her values and how they were raised.

[DSM4Life]

+2 I don't see gay or straight white or black, I just see people for who they are. There are trash people of ALL races and backgrounds and gay or straight. It's all about who the person is and his/her values and how they were raised.

Unfortunately you are the minority on this one. Its sad but it’s the truth.

[cj1capp]

It has to be different. I spend 80% of my day thinking about banging some hot girl. So that only leaves 20% of my day that we would have in common.

I'm only joking. Its 70%

I think you are not looking at the question in the right light.
You spend 80% of your day thinking about banging some hot girl. But rather see it as you spend 80% of your day thinking about banging some hot PERSON.
My best friend who is gay thinks about banging a hot person just as much as i do, what's between their legs is a small detail. The fact is we as people have the same desires wants and needs.

[gixxerboy1]

I think you are not looking at the question in the right light.
You spend 80% of your day thinking about banging some hot girl. But rather see it as you spend 80% of your day thinking about banging some hot PERSON.
My best friend who is gay thinks about banging a hot person just as much as i do, what's between their legs is a small detail. The fact is we as people have the same desires wants and needs.

You are post is correct. I was trying to be a little humorous.

and if you ever refer to whats being between my legs a SMALL detail I'll kick your ass

[cj1capp]

You are post is correct. I was trying to be a little humorous.

and if you ever refer to whats being between my legs a SMALL detail I'll kick your ass

Cool gixxerboy you got me LOL.

I just love all of this tolerance understanding and compassion , i better double check that Im at AR.

[ru-ga-ru]

Ibtl

[STYLE74]

SO much love in here!!! I love you all!!!!!

[zodiac666]

i would think the answers to those 4 questions would be much different from someone that was gay. i always try to show respect to everyone until they give me a reason not to but sometimes i do come across as an asshole to sensitive people. and i do use profiling a little bit, for example if someone told me they had spent their whole life growing up in iraq or afghanistan i would probably assume they didn't treat women very well just from what i witnessed over there, but i would still treat them with respect until they gave me a specific reason not to. looks like this might be an entertaining thread.......

[ru-ga-ru]

One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????

[cj1capp]

Dam zodiac
I was in the first desert storm and saw women treated very badly by my standards but my neighbors are from IRAN and i got say they love each other intensely and it seems with much respect.
I know we all have our predetermined ideals of how some different is. But if we do, what we are doing here, that is examining our predetermined ideals
then I believe there is hope for us as communities , societies and humanity in general.

[DSM4Life]

One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????

Most start out having sex with the opposite gender because of the pressure that society puts on them to be "normal."

Being gay is more then what gets your rocks off. I feel that being gay is when you can emotionally and physically be attached to the same sex.

[cj1capp]

One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????

once you knew you were straight did you ever have sex with a man just to see if you made the right choice? Now that you flipped the question dosen't that sound absurd .

[DSM4Life]

once you knew you were straight did you ever have sex with a man just to see if you made the right choice? Now that you flip the question dosen't that sound absurd .

Your question does not make sense to me (maybe i am reading it wrong).

Most gay people have always had feelings toward the same sex but most wont act on them because they are afraid to or are taught to be ashamed for what they feel. This is why i stated before most gay people start out having sex with the opposite gender not because they want to but because its the "normal" thing to do.

Does that answer you ?

[zodiac666]

Dam zodiac
I was in the first desert storm and saw women treated very badly by my standards but my neighbors are from IRAN and i got say they love each other intensely and it seems with much respect.
I know we all have our predetermined ideals of how some different is. But if we do, what we are doing here, that is examining our predetermined ideals
then I believe there is hope for us as communities , societies and humanity in general.

well like i said even if i had a predetermined ideal of someone i would treat them with respect unless they confirmed that ideal. there were a couple muslims in my unit and all our terps were muslims, many had grown up in countries like iraq and afghanistan but most had spent at least a few years in a free country and they dispised the culture towards women over there even more than me. i just think someone who has lived in a culture that doesn't treat women with respect for their whole life would have a much higher chance of treating women badly themselves (i dont expect goodcents to back me up here, lol)

[acciaio]

When did you "know" you were gay?

Someone says they were gay since thay born, someothers discover it even after being married and having childs... I think it depend even on the different types of experiences one have with the opposite sex and the way one react to succes and delusions...
My parents are really open minded so even if i would say i was gay nothing changed to them, my sister brought home a couple of both men and they become close friends, they where open even with my first girlfriend and with my sis. boyfriend so maybe i'm a lucky one...
I have to say one think, almost all the gay i know are very pleasant guys and really really polite, i wish some straight learn a little from them...
By the way goodcents you are a brave one, starting a post like this can attract many hilarious and dumb comments toward you, good job!

[DSM4Life]

When did you "know" you were gay?

Someone says they were gay since thay born, someothers discover it even after being married and having childs... I think it depend even on the different types of experiences one have with the opposite sex and the way one react to succes and delusions...
My parents are really open minded so even if i would say i was gay nothing changed to them, my sister brought home a couple of both men and they become close friends, they where open even with my first girlfriend and with my sis. boyfriend so maybe i'm a lucky one...
I have to say one think, almost all the gay i know are very pleasant guys and really really polite, i wish some straight learn a little from them...
By the way goodcents you are a brave one, starting a post like this can attract many hilarious and dumb comments toward you, good job!

How did you know you were straight ?

It’s the same thing. The only difference is being straight gets embraced, while being gay can most of the time turn you into an outcast.


P.s
"I think it depend even on the different types of experiences one have with the opposite sex and the way one react to succes and delusions... "

If it was based on experience then why when a gay couple raises a child from birth most of the time the child is straight ?

My point being that different people like different things.

[Carlos_E]

To be honest... I know of a lot of guys here who are bi and gay and all of you know them and you do not know they are bi/gay. They will not post openly in this thread.

[goose]

homophobe people are usally in the closet,thats what the stats show.

[Carlos_E]

When did you "know" you were gay?

For as long as I could remember.

Did your family approve?

I first told my parents I "liked" my best friend when I was 13-14. They told me of course you do, he's your best friend. I told them no, I like him how a guy would like a girl. They told me I was confused. I went away to college at 17 and for Christmas I brought home my first boyfriend and introduced him as my boyfriend. They said, ummm... OK. We remember you mentioning something like this a few years ago. They were totally cool about it. It was a none issue. They said we just want you to be happy.

Do you feel you are treated differently?

In some cases yes, and in some no. I am a very masculine guy. People don't know I am gay unless I tell them. I can tell by people's comments when the gay subject comes up if they will treat me differently if they knew. Most of my coworkers at work did not know I was gay. Only the guy who works on my team and my manager knew. My bf came to meet me for lunch one day and I introduced him to the two of them and a client as my boyfriend. They said "oh... ok. Nice to meet you." The comments that followed were funny. They asked a lot of questions that were some what personal. "Oh wow, you're pretty big to." They asked him if he competes. He told them no. Then they asked him what he does for work. He told them he's a sergeant in the military. My client had a shocked look on his face. I guess the whole gay in the military thing was on his mind. Then my client asked him a few other questions that were a bit personal. It was funny.

What do you see as a stereotype by other straight or even gay friends or public?

Straight people think if you are gay then it means you are feminine or less of a man. Or they think that in gay relationships there are *male and female roles.* I guess straight people can't help to think that way because that's what their relationships are like. But that is not the case. With my bf, one of us is not a woman. We're 2 masculine men. We're both men. When we go places people look at us and they're surprised when they see we're gay because they think we do not fit what they stereotypically class as gay.

One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????

Your train of thought here is incorrect. You're asking from the point of view that being gay is a choice. It isn't a choice. It's just how it is. I can ask you the same question. Have you ever had sex with a guy to make sure you made the right choice? That you really like women? I have always been attracted to men. I have no attraction or desire for women and when I look at them the idea of having sex with a woman is slightly repulsive. I don't understand how straight guys do it. But whatever, that's your thing. Who am I to judge. If you're straight, think how you feel at the idea of having sex with a guy. It's the same way I feel about having sex with a woman.

My question to straight guys. Why is it when someone tells you they are gay, the first thing you think about is sex? Being gay isn't about sex. It's about who you care for or who you're in love with. Yes sex is involved, that's the fun part but that is not what a relationship is about. It seems the first thing that comes to your mind is who fucks who? When a straight guy introduces you to his gf or wife is the first thing you think of is how he fucks her? What they do in bed? Or do you think oh they're in love, how nice and you're happy for them.

[acciaio]

How did you know you were straight ?

It’s the same thing. The only difference is being straight gets embraced, while being gay can most of the time turn you into an outcast.


P.s
"I think it depend even on the different types of experiences one have with the opposite sex and the way one react to succes and delusions... "

If it was based on experience then why when a gay couple raises a child from birth most of the time the child is straight ?

My point being that different people like different things.

I'm not saying that education or environment are determinant, i suppose we all agree that many factors have a role in forming a human. What i'm trying to say is that sometimes, when everybody says that things have to go in a determinated way you may think that that's the way it is, point. Sometimes just growing lend a person the ability to judge for himself but sometimes you need an external imput to start thinking things from a different point of view, i say that to try to explain why some gay discover their true feelings only late in the life....

[acciaio]

My question to straight guys. Why is it when someone tells you they are gay, the first thing you think about is sex? Being gay isn't about sex. It's about who you care for or who you're in love with. Yes sex is involved, that's the fun part but that is not what a relationship is about. It seems the first thing that comes to your mind is who ****s who? When a straight guy introduces you to his gf or wife is the first thing you think of is how he ****s her? What they do in bed? Or do you think oh they're in love, how nice and you're happy for them.

When i meet a straight couple i don't have all the curiosity to know how things goes on because more or less i know, talking about gays there is always a mixture of curiosity and s sort of strange feeling, like when you think of eating something that you are not supposed to....
It's easy to understand tenderness and affect toward a guy even for straight guy, even if we are straight that doesn't mean we cannot have deep feelings for other guys, i bet that almost everyone has a very close friend who you can talk with, even of things you can't normally talk about with you GF/wife, that's why what really bothers a straight mind is the sex part of a gay relationship...
Or at least that apply to me...

[chest6]

To be honest... I know of a lot of guys here who are bi and gay and all of you know them and you do not know they are bi/gay. They will not post openly in this thread.

I can easily see that. There are a percentage of gay people that are okay with other's knowing, and a percentage that would rather keep in quiet.

I have 4 friends that are gay and some are open about it while the others are not..

[wascaptain5214]

i worked with a gay girl and with a gay guy at different times. treated them the same as anyone else. me, i dont care, just keep the boundries and its all good. about the gay girl...she would beat me in basket ball, pool and tennis,ping pong too, she is still on the job and a outstanding firefighter. the gay guy on the other hand is only fair as a firefighter....he kept the station up and cooked good, hell,he even rubbed my feet till i feel asleep...but on a fire scene.......always had problems

[cj1capp]

Your question does not make sense to me (maybe i am reading it wrong).

Most gay people have always had feelings toward the same sex but most wont act on them because they are afraid to or are taught to be ashamed for what they feel. This is why i stated before most gay people start out having sex with the opposite gender not because they want to but because its the "normal" thing to do.

Does that answer you ?

"Originally Posted by ru-ga-ru
One question that I want to know is:

Once they knew that they were gay, did they ever try to have sex with the opposite sex just to see if they made the right choice?????????"



I always knew i wanted to sleep with women i never had to sleep with a man to find I made the correct choice in the first place. That is the question I was answering .
I understand you point about having sex with a person of the opposite sex if you are gay to try and "fit in" but as the original question was posed I did not look deeper i took the question as it was posed.

[cj1capp]

i worked with a gay girl and with a gay guy at different times. treated them the same as anyone else. me, i dont care, just keep the boundries and its all good. about the gay girl...she would beat me in basket ball, pool and tennis,ping pong too, she is still on the job and a outstanding firefighter. the gay guy on the other hand is only fair as a firefighter....he kept the station up and cooked good, hell,he even rubbed my feet till i feel asleep...but on a fire scene.......always had problems

I work as a F/F paramedic , Captain5124
and I know some outstanding gay medic firefighters like i said i guess it all depends on the individual as i also know plenty of shit-bricking lazy ass straight firefighters .Who IMO don't belong on the job and how they ever got the badge i will never know.

[vitor]

I have never known anyone who is gay... Or who as come forword for being so.

Probaly b/c I live in a rather small European country, and being gay is not accepted here. Those who are gay(in some countries like mine) are probaly living very un-happy lives.

For those who live in big places like New York or San Fransisco etc. probaly has it much easier, b/c there are gay enviroments around them, if they look.

[gixxerboy1]

.
My question to straight guys. Why is it when someone tells you they are gay, the first thing you think about is sex? Being gay isn't about sex. It's about who you care for or who you're in love with. Yes sex is involved, that's the fun part but that is not what a relationship is about. It seems the first thing that comes to your mind is who fucks who? When a straight guy introduces you to his gf or wife is the first thing you think of is how he fucks her? What they do in bed? Or do you think oh they're in love, how nice and you're happy for them.

I think it is about sex. For both gay or straight people. That's what makes your relationship with your partner different then your relationship with other people. I have guys and girls i care about and love but my gf is the only one I'm having sex with.

[cj1capp]

I have never known anyone who is gay... Or who as come forword for being so.

Probaly b/c I live in a rather small European country, and being gay is not accepted here. Those who are gay(in some countries like mine) are probaly living very un-happy lives.

For those who live in big places like New York or San Fransisco etc. probaly has it much easier, b/c there are gay enviroments around them, if they look.

Vitor i bet if the scientists are right at least 10 % of the people in your european village are gay. I think it is a shame the so many societies put down a segment of the population that as a whole is caring loving and well educated . just because they want to sleep with - love someone who is the same sex.

[goodcents]

Props to Carlos for taking the time to respond. I have great respect for him for sharing that and you are right that alot of members won't respond out of fear of rejection

[cj1capp]

Your question does not make sense to me (maybe i am reading it wrong).

Most gay people have always had feelings toward the same sex but most wont act on them because they are afraid to or are taught to be ashamed for what they feel. This is why i stated before most gay people start out having sex with the opposite gender not because they want to but because its the "normal" thing to do.

Does that answer you ?

here it is aging but carols answered the question better than i did

"Your train of thought here is incorrect. You're asking from the point of view that being gay is a choice. It isn't a choice. It's just how it is. I can ask you the same question. Have you ever had sex with a guy to make sure you made the right choice? That you really like women? I have always been attracted to men. I have no attraction or desire for women and when I look at them the idea of having sex with a woman is slightly repulsive. I don't understand how straight guys do it. But whatever, that's your thing. Who am I to judge. If you're straight, think how you feel at the idea of having sex with a guy. It's the same way I feel about having sex with a woman."

[goodcents]

I truly believe if everyone could just talk with people they see as "different" that at least we can understand the "whys" better